Chapter Text
The room was small, cramped and tucked away in a nearly forgotten corner of the naval base. It had taken Jake some time to remember where he had seen Bradshaw retreat to it in the past. But nevertheless, he enters. Seeing the other man sitting stiff as a board on the threadbare couch, face intelligible behind the dark aviators but seemingly staring into nothingness.
“Here to fight about not getting selected?” Bradshaw says barely acknowledging Jake’s entry.
It did make him mad, there wasn’t a doubt about that. That Jake knew he was the better pilot. But he could also tell by the way the other man’s jaw twitched that he was tired and lacking the energy to fight back. And Jake felt much the same, he admitted to himself. The past weeks leading up to the selection were grueling. He and Bradshaw had gotten into scraps countless times, and at this point he didn’t have the energy to go at it.
“No, Bradshaw, think I’m ‘bout tapped out.” He says, trying to sound sincere.
“Think that might be a first.” Rooster replies still staring at the painted white brick wall.
Jake can’t help but let the corner of his lips curl into a smile. He could tell there was a lot on Bradshaw’s mind. The way he was chewing his bottom lip and his leg bounced. Jake takes a few steps forward pulling out a chair from a nearby table and sitting.
“Well, ya wanna talk about it?”
“Come on, Hangman.” Bradley draws. “We don’t do that. We’ve never done that.”
Jake opens his mouth to begin to speak but pauses. He wanted to be hurt, but Bradley wasn’t wrong. They’ve known each other for years and the number of moments they’ve spent in only each other’s company he thinks he could count on one hand and the number of heart-to-heart moments they’ve shared is even less. Most of their careers they’ve just orbited each other’s presence throwing barbs and jabs at one another to the chagrin of the other pilots.
“Well, there’s a first time for everything Rooster.” Is eventually what he decides on.
Bradley scoffs. “Did Phoenix set you up to this? Or Bob?”
“Jesus Bradshaw, give me a little credit here I’m trying.”
“Fine.” Bradley relents, finally diverting his eyes to look out the window of the door. “How are the other pilots gonna react if they find out the Hangman begged me to exposit my feelings to him.” Bradley says with a faux sense of bravado.
Jake smiles in turn finally seeing the serious look melt off Bradley’s face. “Well honey, does a bear shit in the woods? If no one knows we can pretend it never happened.”
Bradley seems to ponder the words for some time. Turning his eyes to make his first eye contact with Jake. Jake can’t help but turn his head down for a moment hoping to mask some of the blush crawling across his face.
“Alright.” Bradley eventually says.
“Alright.” Jake repeats back more enthusiastically, leaning forward in the chair resting his elbows against his thighs.
“I’m not sure where to start.”
“Wherever you’d like.”
“You sure you’re feeling okay, Seresin?” Bradley says giving an accusatory glance.
Jake sighs, beginning to stand. “Aight then, I’ll leave ya be.”
“No-,” Bradley blurts out, almost lunging at the other man. “I’m sorry, please stay.”
Jake wasn’t quite sure what to think at the other pilot’s outburst, it was confusing and by the look on Rooster’s face he wasn’t expecting the words to leave his mouth either. “Well, I’m right here when you’re ready.” He replies attempting to give a tender glance to the other man looking nervously back at him.
“Maverick and I have a…” He speaks, returning his gaze to the blank wall in front of him. “Complicated past.”
Jake watches the other man’s throat swallow a heavy lump, the words obviously taking great effort to extract from wherever he has been storing them unspoken.
“He pulled my papers from the navy; it effectively delayed my career for four years.” The shaking of his leg speeding up. “God Hangman, God, I hated him. Couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him. And for the most part I managed to do just that for over a decade.”
“Jesus.” Jake utters expletively under his breath.
“And that’s not even getting into all the emotions these past weeks have dredged up about my dad, but I suppose you know all about that already.” Rooster says, giving Jake a grim look. Jake can’t help but avert his gaze. The heavy glare forcing his eyes down to the linoleum floor. It was so much easier to make those kinds of comments to people when he didn’t eventually have to face retribution for. But he supposes he had this one coming.
Silence hangs heavy in the air like a terribly humid California afternoon. Eventually Bradley sighs, then laughs, “almost thought I had an apology coming for that.”
The words stung, which made him feel guilty about how much worse it must’ve felt being on the receiving end if it felt this shitty being on this end. He opens his mouth to respond but can’t conjure the words to respond. Jake knows he should apologize, but maybe he isn’t the changed man he hoped he would be by having this conversation.
“I can’t help but feel like things should be different now though.” Bradley continues, seemingly resigning to the fact he won’t be getting an apology this day. “I mean shit.” Bradley chuckles exasperatedly. “Maverick doesn’t have anyone but me now that Ice is gone. And look at my sorry ass. It’s not like I have much more. Doesn’t that give me some sort of responsibility to care about him? Does it make me a terrible person if I can’t find enough reason to care except ‘responsibility’?”
Rooster’s speech at this point has quickened in pace dramatically, as has the rate of his leg threatening to drill into the ground beneath them. His chest rapidly rising and falling with his panicked breaths. A sheen of a tear beginning to well in his eyes. Jake unsure what to do had only instinct to act on, rising out of the chair and settling onto the couch next to the other man. He placed his hand gently onto the bouncing knee beside him, fully expecting Rooster to pull away at any moment. But Rooster doesn’t, slowing his pace and turning his face to look him in the eye.
“It’s alright, no one can tell you that the way you’re feeling is wrong.” He says to the other man, just inches away from him. “You’re allowed to process things at your own pace.”
“Aren’t I running out of time though?”
He wanted to say no, obviously there will be more time. But it was certainly possible that that wasn’t true. The mission looming ominously overhead. “Rooster…” He replies sympathetically.
“One or both of us could die tomorrow and in less than 24 hours I have to come to terms with the fact that I shouldn’t hate the man that raised me like I was his own son. I don’t know if I can do this Hangman, I can’t-“
“Bradley, slow down a second.” Jake interjects, trying to flash a comforting smile as the tears freely now flowed down the cheeks of the other man. “You know I’ve never sugar coated anything in my life. So, I can’t say I know how this mission is going to turn out, and I can’t say I have all the answers you’re looking for. But I know that Maverick right now is probably scheming ways that both of you and your foxtrots are going to make it home.”
“You can’t guarantee that.”
“No, no I can’t” Jake grimaces, grasping the bridge of his nose. “Maverick will do his damnedest, and, and so will I.” He says not staring into the large brown eyes of the other man.
“Alright, sure Hangman.” Rooster says lacking confidence between sobs and wiping his eyes.
Jake reaches out in a flash cupping Bradley’s jaw in his hand and moving his face to face his own. “I swear to God Bradshaw I will do whatever I can to make sure you get back.” He says breathily, the words seem to shock both of them as Jake wasn’t quite aware of the intimacy of the gesture until he made it.
Bradley doesn’t say another word, only crying more openly from that point and allowing Jake to wrap an arm around his shoulder and let the other pilot rest against his shoulder.