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After their debut as a group back in I-land, all seven boys underwent rigorous adjustments. Starting from their own bed arrangements, sleeping and eating habits, their morning rituals, up to the chore distributions inside the dormitory, every one gradually eased themselves into their new environment. Jay would like to think that although they are familiar faces, he didn’t want to just consider them as the people he would be spending a lot of his time with for the next few years, to Jay, they would be his family.
And now, it has been four months after everything and Jay would like to say that he was grateful for what has happened but damn, he felt himself getting older so fast in here like a single father that’s raising all of his six admittedly unplanned sons by himself.
Heeseung, albeit being the eldest among them, honestly doesn’t feel like it most times. Jay would consider this hyung the same level with Riki in terms of inflicting successful annoying pranks, and the same level with Jake with their hyperactivity. Sunghoon, well, Jay would like to believe that this bandmate of his is somewhere in between. Probably because of how the guy would be active at times and then you’ll see him staring into space as if he’s logged himself out of the real world.
The ones who listen to him the most would definitely be Jungwon and Sunoo. Jungwon, with the fact that he has a responsibility as their leader, Jay would like to give him as much leniency as he could when it comes to being a hyung. He wants Jungwon to feel that it’s okay to sometimes take off that responsibility and enjoy himself with the things he should be doing at his age.
Sunoo, on the other hand, well… if Jay is being honest, there would be nothing to rant about. Sunoo listens to him well, in fact, he listens to his hyungs and Jungwon well. Maybe, with the exception of Park Sunghoon who did nothing but bicker non-stop with the younger.
Ever since they stepped out of I-land as a newly debuted group, Sunoo’s personality has bloomed to another stage. It was as if he so suddenly matured, as Jay observed. Like the oldest of the maknae line just had an enlightenment and changed overnight, despite it not being too much of an alteration. Some may not even notice it if they don’t pay special attention to Sunoo—wait. Haha, no, that’s not what he meant. Jay pays enough attention to all of his members!
Besides, maybe, it was because it was him that Sunoo confides in the most that he could easily pick out these changes. Maybe, it was because they spend enough time being alone together that Jay believes they’ve gotten closer.
It was in the way the younger would often seek him out late at night when the others are asleep, pulling Jay to the couch with a cup of tea in their hands as he starts to pour out his concerns. It doesn’t even have to be about their concerns sometimes, it could be how Sunoo or his day went when they have separate schedules or just the most random thing like how Sunoo saw a stray cat on the way home earlier and almost took it in.
And as much as Jay would like to deny this, he finds himself looking forward to when there would be a soft knock on his and Jake’s shared room, the sound of the door creaking and a head with a fluffy-looking hair sticking out while Sunoo’s expectant eyes roams the room to find Jay’s.
Like tonight.
Jay stares at the ceiling with his fingers thrumming a rhythm on his chest. His roommate, Jake, has already been sleeping like a log for about two hours now. Both of them turned in at the same time and yet Jay couldn’t even find it in himself to bat his eyes close. And he knew all too well just what the reason for it was.
Cupping his bedside table, Jay immediately picks up his phone and turns it on, the light from the screen making him squint for a moment. Once his sight adjusted, he looked at the time and found how it was already one in the morning.
Oh, it was already his birthday tomorrow? Time flies by too fast, seriously.
Just as he was about to place his phone back, he hears that same old soft knocking on their door, making Jay’s ears perk up. The door opens with a creak, not loud enough to wake Jake up, and Jay sees Sunoo’s head in an instant. It wasn’t hard to see the smile that made its way onto Sunoo’s face when his eyes met his hyung’s as the moonlight shone through the window and onto the position of the bedroom door.
Jay promptly hops off of his bed, taking his phone with him as walks toward Sunoo. “Let’s sit by the balcony.” He says to Sunoo, letting the younger clutch his fingers on his pullover as Jay guides them to the dimness of their living room.
“Okay, hyung.” Sunoo whispers back.
“Would you like a hot chocolate or tea?” Jay asks him, turning the lights on inside the kitchen, blinding them both a little for a moment.
Sunoo settles himself on one of the seats by the counter, watching as Jay takes two cups from the shelf. “Oh, actually, can you make me a cup of hot milk, hyung? I’m having trouble sleeping lately.” He confesses, rubbing his eyes as he sighs and placing his head on the counter, still watching Jay move as he prepares their drink.
“Hmm?” Jay turns to him, a small frown evident on his face. He drops the cups gently on the counter as he leans forward, taking in the entirety of Sunoo’s face. “You do have bags under your eyes, Sun. How long has it been since you slept soundly?”
The worry in his voice puts a small smile on Sunoo’s face, humming before he answers his hyung. “Maybe, four or five days ago? I honestly have no idea anymore.” A pout was quick to form on the younger’s lips, “I find myself sleeping at dawn even after turning in early. Now, I feel so tired.”
Jay pats the top of Sunoo’s head, “Is it Riki? He spends more time sleeping on your bed than he does with his own. I knew it’d be a problem sooner or later.” The sourness in his tone remained undetected by the younger, despite how laughably obvious it was. Maybe Jay himself didn’t find any anomaly with the sound of his voice, it’s that or he ignored it despite knowing.
However, Sunoo quickly shakes his head once he hears Jay’s statement. “No, hyung. It’s not Riki’s fault, I promise. Besides, I actually do enjoy cuddling with him.” Sunoo smiles again, remembering how he almost wasn’t able to get out of bed because of how Riki’s limbs were practically latched onto his waist.
Jay blinks slowly, eyes tracing every little detail he could see on Sunoo’s face. Even pursing his lips at the sight of the younger smiling while thinking of someone else when it was Jay that was in front of him. The rapper’s mood turns sour, his excitement of being able to spend time with Sunoo depleting. However, he wouldn’t just let it go like this. Not until his mood returns back to how sickeningly sweet it was.
“And what about me?”
Sunoo tilts his head, confused. Fox eyes wide as they gaze back at Jay’s waiting ones. “Hmm? What about you, hyung?”
“Yes, what about me, Sunoo-yah? Do you enjoy spending time with hyung, too?” Jay’s hand on Sunoo’s hair travels down, until it was on the younger’s cheek. And surprisingly, it stays there, just grazing against the softness of Sunoo’s skin.
Jay’s dark orbs felt like it was sucking Sunoo’s soul without even meaning to, staring directly in Sunoo’s eyes like that was enough for the younger to swallow the lump in his throat and look away. Sunoo felt like a prey inside Jay’s earnest eyes, it felt as if the older of the two was hunting for answers inside Sunoo’s irises themselves.
“Oh, what’s this? You’re looking away?” Sunoo hears Jay huff, “Damn, I guess my company wasn’t great enough to even compare with Riki, huh?” Jay mumbles, just enough for Sunoo to hear. However, Sunoo’s next words have left him startled.
“No!” Sunoo croaks, eyes widening as if he was surprised by the outburst himself. He clears his throat, the tips of his ears flushed red. “I mean…” His voice quietens, looking at Jay’s chin instead of the older’s eyes.
Jay smiles at this, utterly satisfied by the reaction he’s got from Sunoo so far. “Hmm? I don’t think I can hear you well with how low your voice is, sunshine.” He teases the younger a little more, pushing into his buttons but not enough to make him uncomfortable, just flustered. The pet name being enough to add more hue on the already blushing cheeks of Sunoo. His fingers then do their thing, running wild on Sunoo’s face, sometimes pinching his cheeks and tapping under his chin like a kid.
Sunoo, probably fed up by the action, grabs his hyung’s hand and holds onto them instead, even unconsciously playing with Jay’s fingers. “W-what I, uhm, want to say is that…” He takes a deep breath before bravely meeting his hyung’s eyes with the most genuine and gentle smile that Jay has ever seen on Sunoo, and it was only for him. “...I love spending time with hyung, too. Just like when I do with Riki and the other members. I enjoy drinking everything that hyung prepares for me. I enjoy talking to hyung every night, be it about my concerns or just about anything. I enjoy hyung’s presence very much.” Sunoo shyly confesses, the smile on his face makes his cheeks bulge in rounder circles.
Happiness flowed from within Jay’s veins that his grin was wider than anything else in the world. It took him a lot of restraint to not place a kiss on the younger’s forehead or just attack his cheeks with his fingers.
“I see.” Jay hums, taking his hands back as he takes the two cups and begins to prepare their preferred drinks.
Sunoo, surprised by his hyung’s reaction, pursed his lips before they turned into an eventual pout. “What about hyung? Does hyung have anything to say about me?” He mumbles the question, loud enough for Jay to hear but the latter pretends to be deaf.
“Hmm? Did you say something, Sunoo-yah?” Jay asks, and before Sunoo could say something, the former was quick to interrupt him. “Could you open the door of the balcony and wait for me there? Please, sunshine?” Using the softest tone he could muster, Jay gives Sunoo another pat on the head before he turns back to what he’s doing.
With a huff and a blush painted on both of his cheeks, Sunoo marches toward the balcony, opening the locks and settles himself to one of the rocking chairs there. “Hyung acts so much like Sunghoon hyung these days! Teasing me so much, hmph.” Sunoo scoffs, resting his back against the chair, looking up at the vast sky. “It’s out of stars.” He whispers to himself.
“Maybe, they shied away.” Jay says from behind him, appearing with two cups on his hands.
Sunoo raises an eyebrow, “Shied away from what?” He asks, taking the cup of milk and placing it on the table beside him.
Jay took a sip of his tea, his eyes currently weaving through the dark sky. And then his gaze shifts, his eyes meeting Sunoo’s, the sweetest smile forming into his lips. “From you. From how brightly beautiful you look, outshining each one of them.” Every word that escaped his mouth was genuine, and he hopes that Sunoo knows that.
Sunoo blinks, letting the words sink in while Jay waits for his reaction. Soon enough, Sunoo was cupping his flustered face into his hands as he whined. “Hyung!”
A low chuckle erupted from Jay, easing himself beside Sunoo. “Alright, alright. I’ll stop teasing now, but just to be clear. It wasn’t a pickup line, I was just being honest about the things my eyes can see.” Jay shrugs, resulting in Sunoo groaning embarrassedly.
“Hyung, please.”
Another chuckle. “Sorry, Sun. It’s just that, your reactions are adorable.” Jay says, ruffling the younger’s hair.
As they sat in a comfortable silence, looking at the starless horizon, Jay felt immense contentment by being here and feeling this moment. Maybe, a little too much with the addition of the company of the person he’s with right now.
“Are you excited for tomorrow, hyung?”
Jay shrugs, “Maybe, a little, I guess? I don’t really think that so much would change, maybe except for the legalities.”
“A little?!” Sunoo exclaims, looking at his hyung with disbelief. “Why do you sound like you don’t even care, hyung? Isn’t your eighteenth birthday supposed to be special since it’s when you finally meet your soulmate?”
With a snort, Jay pokes Sunoo’s puffed out cheeks because of how roused he was. “I do care, Sun. However, I just think that my priorities lie somewhere else at the moment.” Jay shifts in his seat, settling his cup down on a table, a flash of something that could have been a smile danced in his eyes before it was gone. “Besides, it’s too fictious to just suddenly find your soulmate on the same day you turned of legal age, when in reality they could be anywhere in the world. Some people are lucky to find theirs a few months early or before they turn nineteen. But there are also people who were unfortunate enough to never even cross paths with their other half.” Jay sighs, sinking his body to the couch. “It’s just the way it works. Maybe, that’s why I’m not even expecting much anymore.”
“But, hyung…” Jay sets his eyes on the younger who now has his head hung low, staring at the cup of milk in his hands. “Aren’t you saying this because you have already engraved in your mind that you’d probably meet them after a long time has passed, or maybe that you won’t get to meet them at all?”
Jay stills in his seat, as if Sunoo’s words were arrows and he was the prey, piercing his heart without any warning. As if Sunoo has this immense power over him, picking at skin until he uncovers him bare. Alas, it seems like his dongsaeng has a knack for making him catch his breath like this everytime. However, he doesn’t say anything though as Sunoo continues.
“Besides, isn’t the concept of soulmates already fictitious in itself? So, why should meeting them on the same day you turned eighteen be any different?” Sunoo tilts his head to look at his hyung, smiling brightly. “Shouldn’t hyung be happy that he gets to meet them, touch them, and say their name? How I wish time could pass by quickly. I also want to do that, to be able to touch my soulmate and leave my name on a part of them. Wouldn’t it just feel utterly gratifying to be able to proudly have someone as yours, your own person.” He says, sighing dreamily.
Mine, huh?
Jay grins at the thought before looking at Sunoo who has then come back to watching the night sky. His eyes sparkle under the glowing moon, as if the stars decided to live inside them, hence the lack of stars above. The smile that adorned his face was pretty. Sunoo is just… undoubtedly pretty.
“How come you’re so good at your words now? Maybe I should be the one knocking at your door at night instead.” Jay says jokingly, earning a chuckle from the younger.
Sunoo was about to respond when a chill dawned on his spine, making him shiver. The action did not go unnoticed by Jay as he immediately takes his pullover off and offers it to Sunoo, leaving him in his white shirt. The younger mumbles a soft thanks, taking the piece of clothing and pulling it over his head.
If the blush on Sunoo’s cheeks were caused by the cold breeze or by the fact that he’s wearing his hyung’s clothes, Jay would never know.
“Come here.”
Sunoo turns to his hyung, eyes widening a little when he sees Jay’s open arms. He blinks foolishly at the older before complying, taking whatever space was left between them as he settles himself in Jay’s warm and comforting embrace. Jay hyung was never one to show him physical affection, but it feels great to bask in it once he does. Sunoo smiles at this.
“Thank you, hyung.”
A sweet hum of acknowledgement fluttered in the air, Jay’s arms wrapping tightly on Sunoo’s body. Silence filled them after, and yet it was enough for them to enjoy each other’s company in full. And as Sunoo’s sleepy eyes blinked close, his consciousness waning, he could’ve sworn he felt a ghost of a gentle kiss on his temple.
“I’m suddenly looking forward to tomorrow, Sunoo-yah.”
Was all Sunoo heard before he entered his dreamland.
ᥫ᭡
At ten in the evening, the dormitory was loud and consisted of six members of Enhypen running around holding either party supplies and decoration or food.
“Jungwon-ah, the spaghetti isn’t going to cook itself!”
“Call Jake hyung for help, Riki!”
“Sunghoon, can you please stop dragging the balloons to the kitchen? Do you want the dorm to burn down?”
Watching the charade in front of him, Jay couldn’t help but let out a tired sigh while massaging his temple. Currently, he’s sitting on the couch which he is apparently very much banned from getting off of—as threatened by his own members earlier.
The chaos ensued two hours earlier with everyone busying themselves to decorate and cook for the celebration of Jay’s birthday. As of now, their living room has been stomped with decorations and balloons, spelling out an adorable happy birthday greeting for Jay. The design looks very good already, however, his band mates didn’t seem to think so as they continued to put up a lot more decorations on the wall. On the other hand, the kitchen seemed to have been abandoned as Riki was the only one left stirring the pot ever since Heeseung and Sunoo went out to buy Jay a birthday cake.
Speaking of them, Jay wonders just where those two are now. It’s been an hour and a half since they left and they still haven’t come back. Both also aren’t even seeing his messages on their group chat.
“Hoon, is our manager with Sunoo and Heeseung hyung?” Jay stops Sunghoon who was just about to enter the kitchen.
However, to his dismay, the ice prince only shrugged. “I’m not sure. I think they went on their own.” He says, scratching his cheek with his finger.
Jay curses internally, a little worried now. He was just about to spam their group chat with another message for Sunoo and Heeseung when he heard the door opening. Jay never whipped his head so fast, seeing Sunoo scurrying inside first, Jay was already on his feet and in front of Sunoo before he knew it.
“You’re back. Are you alright?” Jay couldn’t help how his eyes roamed around the younger’s face as soon as his face mask was discarded.
The sound of worry in his voice left Sunoo a little surprised, grinning widely at his hyung. “I’m okay, hyung. I was with Heeseung hyung.”
“That’s right. I was with him, birthday boy.”
And that was only when Jay finally saw that Heeseung was standing behind Sunoo, the older’s left hand that was planted at the small of Sunoo’s back was one thing that Jay took notice of. As he takes his eyes to look at his hyung, he sees the older’s sharp gaze, he was already staring back at him—quite seriously at that. A few seconds passed with both boys only looking at each other, and yet the atmosphere between them suddenly tensed, as observed by Sunghoon who got to witness it all. Maybe, Sunoo was just too adorably naive that he didn’t feel anything was amiss as he skips to the kitchen, loudly asking about what happened to the spaghetti sauce.
Suddenly, a small smile cracks on Heeseung’s serious face, easing Jay’s tensed figure almost immediately—so did Sunghoon. “We brought you a cake. Sunoo picked the flavor, so you know who to blame if you decide that you don’t like it.” Heeseung says as he passes him, “Sit down, Jay-ah. You shouldn’t get off the couch until we’re done preparing, remember?”
Jay’s eyes followed his hyung who entered the kitchen, dropping the box of cake gently on the counter. A small frown creased between Jay’s eyebrows when he saw how Heeseung promptly swerved to Sunoo’s direction by the stove, chatting with the younger animatedly and then he saw Sunoo pick up a spoon, letting Heeseung taste the spaghetti sauce. All of this was captured by Jay’s eyes—the way Heeseung’s eyes turn gentle when he looks at Sunoo, or the way the innocent touches they share look intimate in Jay’s point of view.
So, he looks away. Shaking his head a little, before going back to the couch, silently playing with his phone. And yet, his mind couldn’t seem to take a rest.
It couldn’t be, right?
ᥫ᭡
“Happy birthday dear Jay hyung, happy birthday to you!”
“Hurry, blow the candles out!”
“Make a wish, hyung!”
Jay chuckles at the voices overlapping each other, but he still does what they said. After making a wish in his head, Jay opened his eyes and as if clockwork, they fell ever so magically on Sunoo—so beautifully smiling at him.
Then, he blows the candles.
I hope it comes true.
“Thank you, guys. Really. I appreciate everything you guys did today.” Jay pats Sunghoon and Riki’s back who was on each side of him.
Riki snorts, “Don’t worry, hyung. You’d be the one cleaning up after, anyway.” He says, which earned him loud laughter from everyone and a light smack on his head from Jay.
Everyone sat to eat, the table full of food that Jay absolutely loves. Praising Sunoo’s spaghetti which pleased the sunshine a lot, his chubby cheeks stained red at how flustered he was. Heeseung couldn’t help but poke into them fondly, not stopping until the younger finally whined about it. Jake’s banana cake seemed to also have satisfied everyone’s bellies, satisfiedly sighing at each bite. And lastly, the cake. Well, turns out Heeseung was right.
Riki, frowning at the sight, huffs as he turns to Sunoo. “Hyung, this is just being greedy.” His excited hands holding a small plate and a fork straightens on either side of him before he walks away.
Jungwon blinks, “I think I’m quite full now.”
Jake and Sunghoon immediately stood up, “We’ll be washing the dishes.” Quickly escaping the disaster in the living room.
Heeseung on the other hand, yawns as he struggles to get up. “I think I’m going to nap in my room for a while.” He says, hiding a smile behind his lips as he ignores the puppy eyes that Sunoo gave him.
And so, Jay and Sunoo were left alone in the living room in front of the mint chocolate flavored cake on the table.
“The lady said it would taste great, though.” Sunoo mumbles sadly as he stares at the cake.
Jay looks at the abomination of a cake, then back at Sunoo’s dejected face. Gulping, he smiles at Sunoo. “Give me a small slice, Sun. I’ll try it.”
The wide grin on Sunoo’s face made Jay believe that eating a toothpaste flavored cake was worth everything. Sunoo excitedly cuts a big slice even though Jay told him to make it smaller, hands scrambling to give Jay the plate and the latter reaching to accept it.
It was something they both didn’t expect to happen, especially Sunoo. Jay, on the other hand, well—he really didn’t see it coming although he prayed to all gods for his wish to come true.
The moment Jay’s fingers came in contact with the side of Sunoo’s palm, the younger instantly felt it. He felt that same familiar feeling of carving on his skin, like someone was writing on the side of his palm. It didn’t hurt, but it did feel ticklish. It was something that Sunoo never thought he could experience again, for the second time around. No, it was beyond absurd to even feel it again because—how?
In contrast to Sunoo’s feelings of dread and confusion, Jay couldn’t help the swelling of happiness that bloomed in his chest. He took Sunoo’s hand in his and excitedly looked at the mark of his name on the younger’s skin.
Jongseong.
It says his name. And Jay couldn’t contain the wide grin that appeared on his face. As he lifted his head though, the sight of the expression that screamed fear on Sunoo’s face, the curve that Jay’s lips formed into has quickly flattened in a thin line.
“Sun, are you—”
However, the younger didn’t even let him ask his question in ful as Sunoo almost immediately took his hand back before standing up as if dazed and utterly flabbergasted. “S-sorry, hyung. I’m, uhm, g-going to… rest f-first.” He says and dashed towards the direction of the rooms, not even letting Jay speak and leaving the older there—dumbfounded.
What the fuck just happened?
Jay stands too, planning on running after Sunoo when he hears his phone ringing from his pockets. It was no doubt his parents. Looking at the direction where Sunoo ran off to, Jay sighs as he takes his phone out. He’d give the younger some time first, then he’d be chasing after him after this phone call—Jay swears to himself.
Walking off to the balcony, Jay swipes the answer button. “Hey, Mom.”
ᥫ᭡
Forty minutes.
It took him a full forty minutes to greet every single one of his extended family, from his uncles and his aunts, to his cousins. His mom made sure that everyone greeted him first before Mrs. Park finally talked to him about the things she wanted to know.
Like, if he already met his soulmate.
And Jay freezes, not knowing what to say. It’s not like he could tell his mother that he did, but it seems that his soulmate isn’t exactly into the idea of Jay being his other half. God, his mother would probably insist on having a talk with Sunoo then or else she’d be booking a flight and would be knocking on their dormitory first thing in the morning.
And so, Jay lies through a strained smile.
No, he hasn’t—became his answer.
After sending the photos they took earlier to his mom, they finally bid goodbye and ended the call—with Jay sprinting to the bedrooms quickly, earning him curious looks from Jungwon and Riki who amused themselves by playing games. Jay knocks on the shared bedroom of Sunoo, Riki, Jungwon, and Sunghoon, hoping to see his soulmate. However, when he opened the door, only the empty beds greeted him. And so, he went to the room next door—his and Jake’s shared bedroom, and like he expected, the younger wasn’t there.
Only one room left, then.
Jay stares at the door of Heeseung’s solo room, pursing his lips at the uneasiness that seeped in his veins—he feels nervous to even knock, and yet he still did. He didn’t wait for Heeseung’s response as what followed after that prompt knock was the twisting of the door knob and pushing the door wide open.
The view that greeted Jay isn’t something nice to see, at least not in his eyes it doesn’t. With short breath, he takes in the sight of Sunoo’s curled up figure on Heeseung’s lap, face nuzzled against the older’s neck as his shoulders shudder in inconsistent movements as if he was crying. Heeseung has his back resting on the headboard of the bed, arms gently embracing Sunoo’s entirety almost like he’s shielding him from the world, and he was looking straight at the person who just barged inside the room, as if he was the reason why Sunoo was crying. And the sight of the younger crying made Jay’s already sour mood completely depleted and he just felt plain unhappy and hurt and absolutely dejected.
If his chest was already clamped and feeling an intense emotional pain earlier, then standing here at the door made it ten times more painful. Maybe, it was his and Sunoo’s bond that makes the other feel what they’re feeling, or maybe it’s the jealousy prickling at the corners of Jay’s heart that evokes this emotion.
Jay, instead of scurrying away, took a few steps forward despite the sharp glares that Heeseung has been giving him. What can he do, though? It’s not like he could just leave Sunoo here with Heeseung like this—in this position, no way. Jay’s, unbeknownst to him, box of possessiveness unfurls the moment Sunoo becomes involved. His feelings wouldn’t let him, no, he wouldn’t let himself just go.
“Sun, can… can we talk, please?” Jay stuttered when he saw how Sunoo flinched the moment he spoke.
Ouch.
Why, though? Why? He has so many questions, too many to even decipher it all at the moment. He wants to know why Sunoo had to run away from him the moment they figured out they’re each other’s soulmates. He wants to ask Sunoo why he’s here, plopped in someone else’s lap searching for comfort when Jay could very easily give it to him if he asks. And why… just why it had to be Heeseung that he runs to?
Jay wanted to know, even if there was already this unsettling feeling in his gut screaming the answers he so much does not want to acknowledge and is desperately wishing to be untrue.
“Do you want to talk to him, baby?” Heeseung asks Sunoo, averting his gaze to gently look at the younger. He even made an effort to lower the volume of his voice to a whisper as if anything louder would frighten Sunoo, though the attempt was futile since Jay was still able to hear it.
Oh, he would be a damn liar if he says that the pet name in which Heeseung called Sunoo did nothing to him. God knows how much of Jay’s self control it took to not pull Sunoo from Heeseung’s hold as soon as he opened the older’s room earlier.
When Sunoo doesn’t move or even respond to Heeseung, Jay could only bite the insides of his cheeks as Heeseung looks at him standing awkwardly there. Even Jay feels pathetic standing here as he looks at his other half wrapped around someone else’s arms.
It’s so fucking unfair.
Jay frowns, head hung low as he tries to find his voice. Just when he was about to speak, he sees a slim hand reach out to his own, careful as it holds his fingers close. As soon as he saw his name engraved on the skin, Jay quickly lifted his head and he was greeted by Sunoo’s red and puffy eyes.
“I’ll give you guys some space.” Sunoo hears Heeseung say and feels the latter move his legs from below him, then he looks at Sunoo with a small smile. “Can you let me go, Sun?”
Sunoo frowns and tears immediately pool in his eyes as he sobs, his hold on Jay’s hands growing tight. “A-are you… a-asking me to… hngh… cut the b-bond, hyungie?” Sunoo shakes his head as a sign of refusal, his cries growing louder and his breathing fast—to the point of becoming abnormal.
Heeseung’s eyes widened and immediately hugged the younger. “No! No, baby. That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry, I just wanted you to sit on the bed instead so I could leave the room and give you and Jay some privacy and talk.” He explains himself, caressing Sunoo’s back as he tries to calm him down. “Sun, hush now, please? I’m sorry.” Heeseung takes it upon himself to wipe the younger’s tears with his thumb, only for new ones to flow.
If what Jay had earlier was a hunch, he was sure now. It already came from Sunoo’s mouth. The bond. Heeseung. Their intimacy. It all makes sense now and everything’s fitting so perfectly.
It’s because Heeseung is also Sunoo’s soulmate.
Just like Jay is.
The pain Sunoo feels travels in his veins too, in his and Jay’s veins, and it feels hard to breathe even though Sunoo still hasn’t turned eighteen yet nor marked them with his name. If they could already feel Sunoo’s emotions this intense, then it means the bond they have is stronger than most people’s.
Seeing as how Sunoo still couldn’t stop crying, Heeseung could only pamper him and whisper sweet nothings into his ear. “Okay, should I just stay here while you two talk then?” Heeseung helplessly looks over at Jay who was now sitting at the edge of the bed while holding Sunoo’s hand still, as if it was his lifeline. “Is that okay with you?”
Jay, averting his gaze to his crying soulmate, purses his lips as he nods. “I think so.” He mutters silently.
Heeseung turns his attention back to Sunoo, “You heard that, baby? I’m staying here, alright? Now, how about you calm down first so you and Jay can talk things out?” He feels Sunoo nod as the younger tries to even his breathing with the help of Heeseung who lets him feel his own heartbeat as his reference.
As Sunoo’s sobs gradually turned into tiny sniffles, he finally moved his body away from Heeseung. He slides down from the older’s lap and onto the bed, sandwiched by both of his soulmates sitting on each side of him. Letting his back hit the headboard, Sunoo takes Heeseung’s hands in his and the swift motion of how they intertwined it, like it has been practiced a million times already, brought a slight pinch in Jay’s heart. However, that emotion couldn’t linger longer as Sunoo looks at him through his swollen eyes before gently pressing his free hand against Jay’s, having the latter’s heart flutter at the slightest of touch shared between them.
“I…” Sunoo starts, pausing at the sound of his hoarse voice from crying. Heeseung then gives him his tumbler, which Sunoo only took a small sip from before he placed it beside him as he continued. “I’m sorry, Jay hyung… for running away earlier.” He peers at the older through his lashes but decided to look down on his lap instead where his hands were intertwined with two other people. “I was just… I was confused. When I felt something being carved on my skin when we touched, I was in shock.” Sunoo glances at Heeseung, “Since, if you haven’t noticed already, Heeseung hyung is also my soulmate.”
Jay’s breath hitches at the confession. He already knows and yet the impact of having Sunoo say it was still huge on him. “Right. So basically, you and Heeseung hyung have been seeing each other since… I-land?” His own question puts a slight frown on his forehead.
Heeseung turned eighteen during their stay on I-land, so… it’s plausible that they have both found out about it then. And, that’s been… a few months ago now, wow.
“Yes, hyung. Two weeks before the debut lineup was announced.” Sunoo answers him, while Heeseung hums. With a big gulp, Sunoo’s trembling fingers squeezed both his soulmate’s hands. “I… I don’t know what to do.” He admits, glancing back and forth at both Jay and Heeseung’s face with pitiful eyes, as if he could find the answer in either of them. “You’re both very important to me and I…” Sunoo struggles as the waterworks begin again, “...I don’t want to lose either of you.”
“You won’t.”
“Not happening.”
Two voices overlapped as soon as Sunoo said his piece. Different people but saying the words with the exact meaning of what they feel. Sunoo’s eyes travel back and forth between them again, wide and blinking with the remnants of unshed tears clinging at the base of his eyes. “Really?”
Heeseung smiles lazily at the younger, gently pressing his chubby cheeks with his free hand. “You can’t get rid of me, Sunoo-yah.” He says, before his eyes landed on Jay. “Well, I can’t say that I’m happy about it and I know Jay isn’t exactly feeling ecstatic about this as well, but… it’s fate, isn’t it? It’s bound to be unpredictable. It would be one hell of a unique arrangement but I’m willing to compromise as much as I can.” Heeseung ruffles Sunoo’s hair when he sees the latter looking at him with pure adoration and mixed emotions. “It’s all up to Jay to decide.”
Sunoo then turns to Jay, trying to hide his growing expectancy so as to not pressure the latter. “You can take your time, hyung. It’s okay if you can’t decide right now.” He pauses, “Just know that whatever your answer will be, Heeseung hyung and I will accept it no matter what.”
Jay’s stomach flips at the younger’s words. Although their situation is quite surprising, it’s not entirely uncommon for an individual to have more than one soulmate. It’s just that the three of them didn’t expect that out of all the people in the world, they’d be one of those who would be experiencing it. As Jay’s eyes lingered on Sunoo’s face, the more his decision solidified. Honestly, there was no use in thinking it over.
How could Jay possibly think this over? It’s the person he likes, and he’s bound to him for life. Breaking their bond is not something he’d want.
“I had just seen you as my soulmate, Sunoo-yah. Getting rid of me is out of the question.” Jay beams at Sunoo, who delightedly leans into him, the top of his head grazing against Jay’s neck. “Are you that happy?” He chuckles.
Sunoo hums as he lays completely on Jay’s chest. He opened his eyes at once and they locked with Heeseung who was just staring at Sunoo and Jay with a small smile. Sunoo then tugged him in, having Heeseung to rest his own body on him. He giggles when he hears the oldest boy let out a satisfied hum, and his Jay hyung groaning at carrying both of their weight. Hands placed on Sunoo’s waist, Jay lets himself be the miserable bottom sandwich if it meant having Sunoo this close.
“Yes, hyung. I’m too happy right now.”
Jay thinks that perhaps, it wouldn’t be as bad as he thought. Heeseung and Sunoo are both very reliable and having caught a glimpse of their relationship, Jay is just quite excited to have it too, with Sunoo.
If three truly was a crowd, then Jay would make it so that this crowd would be a crowd that each of them would never willingly let go of.
That is a promise.
With that thought in mind, Jay tips Sunoo’s chin and smiles as the younger looked at him with a confused grin. Jay then leans in, and he stifles his laugh when he hears Sunoo let out a startled gasp before closing his eyes. He let the younger ponder and get nervous for a few seconds before deciding that he’s been cruel enough. Pressing his lips onto Sunoo’s forehead, he let it linger for as long as he could before pulling away.
As Sunoo opens his eyes, it’s immediately locked with Jay’s and he couldn’t help the blush that creeps up to his whole face. He twists, letting his face be burrowed in Jay’s chest to simmer down his embarrassment.
Chuckling, Jay combs Sunoo’s hair with his fingers as he finally averted his gaze and landed on Heeseung who has been intently staring at them. Jay smirks playfully, taking the older’s wrist as he tugs him closer.
“What? Does hyung want a kiss, too?”