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“I expected him to come,” Voldemort said, his voice high, but clear. “ I was, it seems…mistaken”
“You weren’t. I’m right here.” Voldemort turned his head. On his right stood Harry Potter, his nemesis, the bane of his existence, the scrawny little boy who humiliated him in front of his followers, the curse of his life, the thorn in his side, the- well you get the point. The boy looked exhausted, his hair stuck up more than anyone thought was possible, and his clothes looked tattered. Voldemort smiled, proud of himself for making his life harder for him.
“HARRY, WHAT’RE YEH–?” Hagrid tugged at the ropes that bound him desperately. No one paid him any mind.
“Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, come to di-”
“Die, yeah yeah I know. Hush for a mo’, would you? I need to talk with my EE supervisor.” Potter said monotonously. Wait what?
“Hagrid, I know you said I needed at least four snakes to compare the DNA of to get an A, but honestly, I’ve been chasing around that occamy for ages! I’ve even tried chasing her with a broom. She won’t listen to me! She says that it was too ‘TMI’ for her taste.” Potter tugged on his hair, groaning loudly.
Voldemort stood there dumbfounded as he watched the boy’s rant unfold. What in heaven’s name is an EE and why does it need a supervisor to complete? Was it a weapon? Why did Potter need the DNA of 4 snakes?
Voldemort could only seem to come to one conclusion. Of course, it had been so obvious. Yes, Potter was obviously jealous of his amazing serpentine form and was trying to change his genetic makeup to be more similar to his. Potter did not come to die, he had come to join him. He had finally seen the error of his disgustingly light magic and had come to prove himself to him.
“Well, yeh c’uld always find yerself ‘nother species” Hagrid cautiously replied after a few moments of stunned silence.
“Where would I even–?” Potter cut himself off, a lightbulb seemingly going off in his head. He looked Voldemort straight in the eye. He strode forwards with confidence, pulling out a pristine white lab coat from his pocket, and putting it on. Potter inspected Voldemort up and down before nodding to himself.
The next thing that Voldemort knew, there was a test tube shoved in his face.
“Spit into this please” Potter looked at him with a cold expression.
“Potter, what-?”
“Voldie, I really don’t have time for this. Everyone knows you’re pretty much a snake. Please, I beg of you, spit into the damn test tube.” Potter cut him off. How dare he interrupt him. He was Lord Voldemort! No. He will not be humiliated once again.
“AVADA KEDAVRA” The green light shot out of Voldemort’s wand, hitting Potter straight in the head.
“NO! HARRY!” Hagrid struggled in the ropes, his arms reaching out to catch him. But alas, Potter fell to the ground with a loud thud. Voldemort looked at the body anxiously, he did not want a repeat of Halloween 1980. He kicked Potter with his foot, forcing the body on its back. The boy wasn’t breathing.
“Harry Potter is Dead!” He rejoiced.
The cheers of his followers were instantaneous. His heart soared. Oh, how he had missed it. The sound of people worshipping him. He had won the war. The Dark has won. He was truly the greatest dark lord to ever li-
“Nope, you’re still wrong.” Silence.
Voldemort looked down at the once-dead body, his eyes wide in disbelief. Looking back up at him were bright emerald green eyes.
“No…Impossible...” He breathed out.
“Dude, I'm doing the IB Diploma, I'm practically invincible.” Potter stood back up on his feet with a grunt. He dusted himself off and clicked his tongue at the dirt on his lab coat. Voldemort shivered as they made eye contact, his eyes still looked dull.
“Now,” Potter pulled another test tube out of his pocket. “Spit into the tube, Voldie.”
END.