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He’s running up a stone staircase, frantic. He doesn’t know why he’s running or where he’s going, but he can feel that it is very important. His legs are tired, and his body begs for reprieve. His mind tells him no, that he must power on, keep pushing, now, now, now.
So he does, ignoring the shouts of men in armor that try to stop him on his way. He easily disarms them (where did he even get such skills?) and leaves them behind.
It feels like too much time has passed when he reaches the final staircase that will take him to his destination. As he sprints up, his lips utter two syllables that form the ever familiar shape and sound of his boyfriend’s name. Tomo, he breathes. Tomo, please be okay.
“Hey!” a voice draws him out of his thoughts. There are two men at the top of the staircase, and two more rush over from a large door. “There is a duel in progress! No outsid-“ The man is cut off as a large gust of wind blows at him. In no time at all, all four men are knocked over, their weapons laid in a cluttered heap far away.
He continues on his path, pushing the rest of the short way he has to go. The doors are within arm’s reach, then mere inches away, and then he sprints through the threshold.
Just in time to see him, to see Tomo, fall to the ground. Tomo’s sword goes flying, as well as a bright purple gem encased in blinding gold. Two thoughts lie at the forefront of his mind. One, that he was too late and now Tomo is dead because he simply wasn’t fast enough. Two, that he must grab the glowing purple orb and he must safeguard it to the best of his ability.
His light, his dreams, his aspirations, his vision.
They must not burn out. They must be preserved.
And so, he reaches out and grabs onto it before making a hasty retreat. And it burns. It burns so badly, but he refuses to let go. He makes a hasty retreat and he has no idea where he’s going, but he just knows he needs to go somewhere safe…
⠀
⠀
“Kazuha!”
Red eyes fly open, Kazuha pulls himself up to sitting. His first instinct is to reach beside him and make sure that Tomo is right next to him, right where he should be. He doesn’t do anything else until he’s affirmed that Tomo is within reach. Only after that does he register the tears streaming down his face and the hand tightly clutching the air by his chest. His chest hurts, like he hasn’t been breathing right.
All the while Tomo, very much alive and by his side, rubs his back and helps Kazuha stabilize his breathing. He whispers sweet nothings and gentle reassurances into Kazuha’s ear. Kazuha tries to focus on Tomo’s voice. He lets Tomo guide him into a better position for him to catch his breath and get it evened out.
And slowly but surely, the moment passes. Kazuha’s breathing becomes steady and his eyes feel less wet and hot. They hurt from crying, but his tears are spent and his clarity is back.
Tomo is alive. It was all a bad dream. A terrible dream that felt so real, but that can’t be because Tomo is next to him pressing a kiss to his temple.
“Tomo?” Kazuha calls out when he feels like he can speak again. His voice is slightly shaky but coherent. He pulls himself out of Tomo’s hold so that he can see him. He needs to see him, get a good proper look.
“I’m here. Are you okay?” Tomo asks. His voice is soft and gentle, not wanting to startle Kazuha. His hands slowly come up to cup Kazuha’s cheeks and wipe away the drying tears.
“I’m alright.”
“Okay. Did you have a bad dream?”
Kazuha nods. “I did.”
“Do you need to talk about it?” Tomo offers. He knows Kazuha well, and so he understands that venting is best for the shorter man. Kazuha has always been good at using his words. They are a means for him to share his feelings and clear his head.
And Tomo is always willing to listen, even if he does not say so. It shows in the careful way he considers Kazuha’s words and actions, the gentle way in which he handles Kazuha as a whole.
Kazuha still seeks his consent anyway. Willing to listen and wanting to listen are two different things. “Only if you don’t mind listening,” he answers.
“Always,” Tomo says, giving silence no room to creep in and sow seeds of doubt. It is only given a place when Tomo presses a reassuring kiss onto Kazuha’s forehead. But by then, Kazuha already feels warm and loved through Tomo’s affection. “I always want to listen to you, Kazuha. Tell me as much as you want, whenever you want.”
“Okay,” Kazuha whispers. He lets Tomo pull him into a tight hug, crushing Kazuha against his body but Kazuha can’t imagine anywhere else he wants to be. “I had a dream that you died,” Kazuha bluntly states. He decides that ripping the bandage off will be easier in this case.
“Oh,” Tomo mumbles. It is a simple gesture, but it conveys his understanding. It is just oh but it really says I would probably cry too if I had a dream where you had died. But Tomo doesn’t want to interrupt, and so just that one utterance is enough.
“I don’t know what was happening, but we were in a historical era. It almost seemed like we were samurai,” Kazuha starts to explain. “I was rushing up a stone staircase to reach you, fighting off any who tried to interfere. I kept pushing, even though my body was sore and my legs wanted to give up on me. I don’t know what was going on. I just knew I needed to reach you quickly, no matter what. But when I finally reached the top, you… You died, right in front of me…”
“Oh, Kazuha… I’m so sorry you had to see that,” Tomo whispers. There is nothing Tomo himself could have done to prevent his death in Kazuha’s dream. But he wishes that there coule be something. He never wants Kazuha to be hurt, and he especially never wants to be the cause.
Kazuha shakes his head, knowing that the Tomo of his dream probably didn’t mean to make him cry either. He must have had a good reason for what he was doing. Kazuha remembers that as well; the intense desire he had to protect Tomo’s values and morals as his own was hard to forget.
“I think the reason I am so shaken is because it all felt so real. Like I was seeing a memory of a past life,” Kazuha says.
Tomo nods, hums, and contemplates what Kazuha is telling him. “Maybe you did,” Tomo muses, because anything is possible really. He has no idea what Kazuha experienced. But he does know this: “I’m right here now, though. And I promise, I won’t let anything like that happen to us again. I won’t leave you, no matter what.”
Kazuha nods his head once. “Okay. I trust you.”
The two lovers seal their promise with a kiss. They settle themselves back into bed, wrapped around each other. Kazuha closes his eyes and feels himself ease with each breath Tomo takes.
Kazuha doesn’t know what his past self went through. He doesn’t even know if he really has a past self or not. But it is incontestable fact that in this lifetime, Tomo is by his side and will be for as long time allows. And that is all that Kazuha could ever want.
With this reassurance in mind, Kazuha closes his eyes. And slowly but surely, he allows himself to fall back asleep. And this time, Tomo is with him all the way, safe and warm and alive.