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“You know they say a lot of bad things about me, a lot, but one thing they can never say, that I am cruel to children. …Well they can say it, but that’s the one thing that will never be right when they say it, because I love children… not in a creepy way, I’ll k-word you if you love children in the creepy way… I mean I just had my ass set on fire to save some orphans, but of course they thought I was Spiderman…just my luck”
Can you stop monologuing to the reader…
Awww but I liked listening to this!
He sighed patting the burned fabric on his ass till it was no longer hot, he singed his favourite Spiderman boxer briefs damn it. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked around at the man everyone seemed to confuse him for when he did a good deed, Spiderman.
“Hey baby boy…”
“Don’t call me that Deadpool, but thanks for saving those kids while I was fighting with Oc.”
“Well you’re welcome, I am your not so friendly substitute Spidey.”
He grinned triumphantly behind his mask when he heard a suppressed chuckle behind the mask of his favourite hero around the area. He leant in closer to listen to the suppressed sound as the young man calmly took a step back.
“So what kind of reward would the substitute Spidey want for such an excellent deed?”
“A kiss!”
The young man shook his head slightly before he leant in, keeping his mask on while he placed a peck on his cheek. He should be disappointed, but it was as close as he was going to get to getting some affection from this young hero. So he was thrilled he bet his happy grin would be pretty visible even through the mask.
“Who knows Wade maybe one day you’d actually be able to call yourself a hero…”
He was speechless due to that remark as the webslinger disappeared of the roof, off for some important Spiderman duties, or maybe for some boring secret identity job thing.
Deadpool changed into one of his spare pants, sure was handy having an interdenominational wardrobe and weapon pouch to his exposal it made moving around so much easier.
He found himself whistling cheerfully as he made his way back to the street walking around town cheerfully as he decided to go to the park, New York was fun and hateful to walk around in, people kept seeing him for Spidey, but hey no one was running away in fear and people were actually nice to him (except for the Daily buggle fans).
“Spiderman, could you help me?”
He looked around and saw an old lady look up at him from near a tree, he rubbed the back of his head before shrugging as he came closer.
“What do you need help with?”
“Mister Whiskers is stuck in the tree, can you get him down?”
He laughed faintly to himself and nodded at the woman as he made his way in the tree looking at the cat calmly as he approached it.
This is such a soppy plot line…
I know my cartoons I know what is going to happen!
“I don’t want to think about it…but either the branch is going to crack or I am going to need to pull out my spare mask and first aid kit.”
He tested the branch and it turned out to be pretty firm so he scooted closer to the cat, picking the little Mr. Whiskers up to his chest where to his surprise the little guy held onto his arm calmly and he could bring the cat down without anything going wrong, Spidey’s peck must be a lucky charm or something.
He smiled behind his mask as he gave the woman her cat, she thanked him several times before being on her way and it made him feel pretty good about himself, that was dangerous in his case, but he was going to enjoy it as long as it lasted. He walked around park sitting down calmly on a bench watching the kids play out on this sunny day.
Boredom hit him after a while so he got up again and headed towards the zoo in a relaxed manner, he had nothing better to do, so maybe walking around the zoo and having an ice cream would be a good time wasting opportunity. He should have known his day was going to well, since just when he got his ice cream the screaming start.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream…
I am pretty sure they are not screaming about ice cream
“What are they screaming ab-”
“The black panther escaped!”
“Well that answers that… an other kitty to save, a slightly bigger, slightly more dangerous kitty…”
He took a bite out of his ice cream tossing the rest in the trash before pulling down his mask and wincing from the brain freeze before he looked around for the panther, finding him in the opposite direction of the running and screaming people. The zoo-keepers were ready with nets and tranq guns, but the animal had climbed in a tree, making it harder to hit it with the tranq dart and getting it down safely.
“Need some help people?”
“Spiderman! Can you get him down and webbed up for us?”
“Black and red is not the same as blue and red people, different colours… I give up… I’ll try and get the big kitty down safely for you.”
He climbed the tree looking at the corner predator, who lashed out at him instantly, leaving a bleeding gash on his extended arm, which hurt like hell, but that wasn’t going to make him back down.
“Listen here kitty, you’re stuck, I am going to get you down and you can go back to munching pre-caught meat, I don’t make the rules, but you can’t eat people, especially not the tiny ones.”
He huffed as the big cat snarled at him, cats never listen anyway, why did he even bother talking to it, he huffed as he scooted closer swinging both his hands at the cat one at the muzzle and one trying to grasp it’s neck.
The panther soon bit down on his hand, tearing it off as he got his grip on the animals neck skin, dragging it down with him while the panther scratched and bit at him like there was no tomorrow, still he only let go after the animal was sedated, prying his separated part of his lower arm and hand back out of the cat’s mouth, putting it against the stump before walking away from the worried and shocked people, finding himself a desolated rooftop to recover.
He soon saw the webslinger join him on the roof, news like that was bound travel fast anyway. The young man came closer with a first aid kit even though they both knew he didn’t need it, but he took care of the deepest wounds while he healed bit by bit, they didn’t speak which made Wade rather nervous.
“I think I’ll give up on kitty rescues…”
“You’re an idiot Wade.”