Work Text:
One look in the mirror, don't like what I find
I know that somewhere in there, there's a good guy
-I’m Sorry Mom, Unknown Brain and Kyle Reynolds
Rei Suwa never thought that he would have any semblance of a child. No niece, no nephew, no godchild, and certainly not a daughter of his own.
And certainly not one who fell into his lap, almost literally, one evening during a mission.
Before her, he had been perfectly content going out on nightly assignments, playing Morio Kart in his downtime. Sleeping in the bathtub and eating cup ramen for breakfast and sugary cereal for dinner.
Keeping everything as it was. As he had trained for.
What was it they said about the best-laid plans? Make a plan and the Lord laughs at you.
So here they were… raising a baby.
Forget placing bullet holes with pinpoint and lethal accuracy; sewing a name tag into a child’s garment was the most precision his nimble fingers have had to learn.
Never mind the potential of a pistol malfunctioning or worse, misfiring, in the middle of a crucial mission; surrendering his daughter was the most nerve-wracking experience his stone-cold-but-gradually-melting heart had endured.
Being a hitman came naturally. It’s what he knew how to do. It’s all he knew how to do.
Being a parent? Now that was a terrifying job if he ever encountered one.
If Miri ever turned out like himself… that child would be doomed to all eternity.
Wow, dramatic much? he chided. Usually Kazuki was the dramatic one. But Rei’s concerns were well-founded. He hadn’t exactly had the most stable upbringing with the holiest of role models. If he exposed his daughter to the coldness that he had faced growing up, the ugly feelings that he had felt... If he allowed her to step fully and mercilessly into his world…
If the cycle continued…
…he would never be able to forgive himself.
It is with these thoughts plaguing him that he confided in Kazuki one sleepless night.
“What if… she ends up like me?”
Kazuki looked at him with that warm patient smile of his. “If she’s anything like you, then she’ll be the luckiest kid in the world.”
Rei reflected on those words. He could tell that Kazuki wasn’t just giving advice to give advice. His words held weight, something that Rei respected about him.
But were they true?
“You don’t know that.” He removed his gaze from Kazuki’s kind eyes and instead stared absentmindedly toward the doorway.
He felt a hand rest on his shoulder. “Oh, but I do.” The accompanying voice was just as gentle, just as grounding. “Have you seen the way she looks at you when you’re playing Morio Kart? Have you seen the way she looks when she’s playing Morio Kart with you? And she’s not half bad, might I add. You’d better be careful or she’s going to upstage you real soon one day. My little girl. I’m so proud.”
“Goof.” Rei, despite himself, felt the edges of his lips turn up into a smirk.
“I’m serious. She’s a mini you. She’s already got the taste buds down. I don’t know who goes through more Choco Puffs, you or her.”
“Her,” Rei replied right away. He would not be ratted out by a toddler.
That’s what she was, at the end of the day. A child, a mere child, three feet tall and thirty-five pounds.
Miri was so… so innocent. So young and impressionable. Rei dreaded the hypothetical day that she truly learned what their lives were like pre-Miri (or as Kazuki phrased it when it was just the two of them like this: “in the dark days before we knew her”).
Well, they wouldn’t let her walk the long and bitter path that they had trodden that came with their line of work, but they could stand to prepare her in case she needed some self-defense one day. Any daughter of Rei’s would be able to hold her own in a fight.
“There’s so much we need to do.” Rei didn’t like the way his voice caught, the weak and almost vulnerable tone that accompanied those words. Because it was true. There were so many things that they needed to do with and for their dear Miri. Buy her a new pair of rainboots because she was outgrowing her current ones. Start her on some basic body combat training. Love her. Love her so much. Enough to make up for four years’ worth of lost time.
He wondered if Kazuki ever sensed him praying for Miri’s future, in quiet evenings after a harrowing day, or in a moment of early morning peace before beginning the busy rush of a daycare run, or most often during times like this: in the sleepless twilight when it was unclear exactly when one day ended and if the following day had arrived.
Rei prayed that Miri would possess a strong sense of justice and a penchant for helping others. Luckily, she didn’t need his genes for that. She had a perfectly wonderful heart all on her own.
He was shaken from his thoughts by Kazuki’s hand squeezing his shoulder. “You’re Papa Rei. She’s smitten with you.”
Papa Rei.
You’re Papa Rei.
Rei’s eyes widened, then relaxed after a few seconds.
And he smiled.
This child had worked her little way into his heart and made him realize that the smallest things are worth the most protecting.
Rei Suwa had been called many things in life - partner, shut-in, heir, disgrace - but Papa Rei undeniably became his favorite.