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    Summary

    Shouto blinks slowly, staring at his very drunk best friend, who just said something he can never unhear. “Is there a name for that?”

    “I don’t fuckin’ know,” Katsuki says. “I just wanna be fucking myself, and then have the door open because Touya is early or some shit, and he catches me, and then gets all fuckin’ bossy n' takes over, and fucks me into oblivion.”

    “Do you… have a plan to make this happen?” Shouto asks.

    “No,” Katsuki says. “He doesn’t like me like that, I accepted that a long fuckin’ time ago, that’s why it’s called a fantasy, you dumbfuck.”

    “Right,” Shouto says, expression more deadpan than ever as he goes to his text conversation with Touya.

    TOUYA:
    Why did you let me move in with him
    So many regerts

    SHOUTO:
    Just ask him on a date and stop complaining.

    TOUYA:
    STFU, HE DOESN’T LIKE ME LIKE THAT
    It’s not my fucking fault that he’s fucking PERFECT

    “He’s just so fuckin’ pretty,” Katsuki sighs. “I just wanna kiss him on his stupid lips, and lick his shitty tattoos, and suffocate him with my thighs by riding his face, y’know?”

    “Sure,” Shouto says flatly.

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