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Six.
Days.
It’s only been six days?!
After my phone died and O’Brien left, I just didn’t see the point in keeping track of the time. It must’ve been longer than six days, right?
I looked up at Jerry, who apparently wasn’t dead. “You mean to tell me I’ve done all of this in less than one week?!” I gestured to the completely wrecked gas station around us. It was a complete wasteland.
Jerry whistled. “Alright. Here’s the plan. Are you familiar with the Japanese organization method of Konmari? Where you take everything in the building, look at it, and ask yourself, ‘Does this bring me joy?’ That’s what we’re going to do. And if it doesn’t bring you joy, we’re going to throw it in a giant bonfire, because bonfires bring me joy. We’ll start with the bills and go from there. I’ll go find some kindling.”
He ran down the hallway, jumping over a garden gnome, and went out the back door. I waited till the door shut completely before I quickly grabbed the ice chest and shook it before I set it on the counter.
“Dude!” I screamed. “Are you in there? It’s not funny anymore, if you’re alive, I need you to tell me what the hell is going on! Is that the real Jerry? Or is it a clone?” The head inside wasn’t answering. I braced myself before tearing off the lid. The smell was so overwhelming, I gagged. The coffee grounds and sawdust did an okay job of keeping the smell in check. But it also had the unintended effect of absorbing all the moisture remaining in the skin. I don’t know what I was expecting to see, but the only thing in there was a mummified head with empty, hollow sockets. Had I somehow killed him?
“Dude, please, talk to me!” I closed my eyes, feeling the tears welling up, threatening to spill over. “Don’t do this to me now, of all times. I need to know, is this real? Were you ever real? Are you going for some kind of noble thing where you pretend to be dead so that at least I have a real friend to talk to before the world ends? Or was I legit nuts this whole time?”
“Hey, uh, dude?” I quickly wiped my eyes with my hoodie sleeve. I looked in the box, but it wasn’t the one talking. The voice was coming from the real Jerry, standing on the other side of the counter. He looked into the ice chest, then looked at me. “Sorry, I came in to get a fresh lighter, and uh… What ya got there, buddy?”
“Nothing.”
“Looks like you’re talking to a jerkified skull like a crazy person. And it sounds like you named it after me. Pretty weird.”
“Yeah.”
He then grabbed a handful of butane lighters from the display next to the ice chest. “Well, I'm not gonna tell you how to live your life.” He turned to leave.
“Wait. Jerry.” He turned back to look at me. “I think this has served its purpose. It’s…time to let go.”
“Alright, cool. Do you want to do another Viking funeral, or-”
“No. No more funerals. Just get rid of it.”
He nodded. Then he reached into the ice chest and scooped up the raw head with his bare hands. I followed him as he walked out back, watched as he gave himself a running start then drop-kicked the head into the trees.
Jerry wiped his hands in the dirt. “Okay, now that we got that out of the way, let’s talk about the others.”
“The others?”
He started talking about getting O’Brien and Rosa back. He started going off about how we might need to rescue them. “But first, you need to change into a shirt that isn’t covered in blood and sweat. Then we go straight to the nearest KenTacoHut because I am starving . Then we go save Rosa first. Sound good?”
I took a deep breath. Deep down, I knew this was working out too perfectly. I knew that this Jerry was just luring me away from the gas station. I knew something else was going on but I wasn’t completely sure what it was. Everything was looking too positive. It felt like a trap.
But, as I looked into Jerry’s blue eyes, his beautiful blue eyes. I just didn’t care if this was a trap. I had him back. I started stepping forward. “Hey, Jerry?”
“Yeah, man?”
I quickly closed the distance between us. I don’t know what came over me, but I grabbed the front of his stupid shirt, pulled him down, and kissed him. As far as kisses go, it wasn’t the worst. It wasn’t the best either, but it felt right.
Jerry stiffened up a bit before relaxing into it. He placed his hands on my hips as I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer.
We stayed like that for what felt like forever, enjoying the moment. Then I pulled away taking in the bewildered look on Jerry’s face.
“It’s good to have you back.”