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It was yet another night where sleep refused to bless him.
Darius’ words had been lingering in his mind for a few days now, brightly shining as if they begged Hunter for his attention.
“You might have been a Wittebane with no options, but you can choose now. Clawthorne-Whispers, Noceda, Deamonne. Titan, maybe even Deamonne-Blight someday.”
He couldn’t believe the extent to which those words meant worlds to him.
”If being a Wittebane worries you, I can always speak to some people to have your Hexside documents changed.”
He could barely believe how much Darius cared.
Thing was, what would his documents even be changed to without an official last name? Writing Wittebane on his admission form had been nothing but a mere formality, true. But, he couldn’t just leave the last name slot blank.
The day he had gone with Darius to get him officially enrolled, he had wanted to.
Principal Bump had been more than understanding at the visible panic that overtook him once the Student Information sheet came to shine. He took the time to explain to Darius the options he had. He didn’t make a single comment about Hunter’s shaky handwriting nor about the way his leg bounced frantically and the way he tried to make his hand flapping as subtle as possible.
And yet, Hunter hadn’t dared ask the question a tiny voice in his brain asked him to.
Was he so afraid of the possible outcomes he was willing to bear the Wittebane name?
After lots of thinking, he found he didn’t like his honest answer.
Yes.
Wittebane came with a pain he knew since he had memory. It was a sound he wanted to call bittersweet, even if the true sourness of it kicked him every now often like the sourest of human lemons.
Like the way Belos had struck him more than once.
He knew how to bear the Wittepain, as a very tired him had dubbed it during one of many sleepless nights.
Hunter knew how to repress his laughter and freeze his sorrow enough that the mask made it go completely unnoticed.
He knew how to patch himself up, a force of habit.
He knew how to bear the weight of love that he wanted to believe in no matter how not right it could feel sometimes. Of a hand that promised to caress him, yet hurt time after time. Of running himself ragged desperately seeking a tiny shard of praise, only to find himself begging for mercy instead.
As wrong as Camila had said it was, he found it easier to work through than navigating a family role he wasn’t even sure existed until a few months ago.
As dangerous as it was for Eda to have been concerned within minutes of their first actual meeting, he knew how to make it livable.
As hurtful as Darius said it must have been, he knew how to work with it.
Back then, sometimes he wondered against his will what would it be like to drop it all and leave.
Despite hundreds of nights trying to convince himself everything was an act of love, there might have still been an obnoxiously stubborn part of himself that, refusing to be silenced, insisted on what was better for him.
When Flapjack came into his life, it did nothing but grow. Chirp by chirp, Flapjack managed to make him wonder if that part of himself was there for a reason other than making him fail.
There was a time in his life when he had not known otherwise, and it was more than fine. Too sheltered to have a clue, he didn’t know what other to expect. Blissfully oblivious.
And then, he had another life he could only dream, yearn for.
A life he had now.
He hadn’t felt scared to sleep, dreading what would come along with the break of the next dawn in a few months now.
He had friends now, and go to school with them.
Above all, he had a family.
The thing was, he wasn’t scared of losing it.
Hunter was absolutely terrified.
Despite what Darius always said, the once hopeful voice in his brain had begun filling him with fear. How long would it take for Darius to be done with him?
Hunter sometimes felt guilty for even daring think that lowly of Darius. It had stopped the questions for a while, until he could find someone else to blame for it.
How long would it take Darius to realize the type of person he really was?
He had done so much as the Golden Guard. He knew what he was capable of.
How long would it take for him to lash out at Darius?
Hunter wasn’t sure he would be able to take letting him down.
Hurting him.
Had he accidentally hurt him when he didn’t say a word?
““Whatever you choose, take for granted I will respect it. You don’t have to be something you don’t want to.””
That was what Darius had said. But, he missed so much in people’s words so often, he couldn’t help but wonder if he had massively screwed up.
Did Darius want to take him under his care permanently? Did he want to become more than a mere caregiver to him?
Looking back, Hunter remembered the day he showed his new polo shirt to Darius. The way in which he had doubted whether or not the level of affection an I love you contained would be acceptable. And, the way in which Darius had pulled him into a hug immediately after.
If that was what a family was, well, he didn’t have a single objection.
Contemplating the possibilities, he figured it would hurt Darius more to not accept his offer.
In case he had completely misread it, though, as terrifying the thought of losing his newfound family could be, he had made it so far without one. He would much rather live with that ache than know he had hurt Darius by never giving an answer to something as special as this.
Hunter wasn’t sure what time it even was when he knocked on Darius’ door in the dead of the night for the second time that week.
“I think I know what I want my last name to be. My- my family to be.”
Darius processed the words for a second through his sleep-filled brain, the realization awakening him like a bucket of cold water.
“Yes?” he asked, hiding the lightest trace of a yawn.
“Do you still have the spare form Principal Bump gave us?” Hunter asked tentatively.
“Second drawer to the left, from up to down,” Darius said as he reached for his slippers and turned on the lights. He liked to keep the important documents in his room, just in case, and he was glad to see it had finally come to use.
After some thorough search, Hunter found it, and held it up triumphantly before leaning against Darius’ night table to scribble using the pen Darius always kept there.
Darius’ heart was ablaze with joy. He had seen the pain the last name situation brought to the boy, and whatever the final resolution was, if it brought Hunter peace, it brought happiness to him.
Before he could congratulate Hunter, he realized something was missing.
“Titan, I almost forgot, you need the adoption papers for that! At least since the name was provisional for Hexside you don’t need to go through the last-name change paperwork,” Darius pointed out as he searched through the next drawer.
“Now, sign it and we’ll call whoever you picked in the morning so they can sign it too, I’ll as for a few favors in return and it will be official in no time.”
As soon as he was done writing his name, Hunter took a deep breath and extended them to Darius.
“Would you mind me checking them to make sure you filled it right?”
Hunter shook his head. “Go ahead.”
Hunter offered him the pen wordlessly.
“Keep it, the adoption form is good. Now, the Student Information one…”
Darius lifted his head as his eyes landed on the name section.
Hunter Deamonne, it read.
“That’s… what the pen is for,” Hunter added nervously.
Darius quickly reached for his nightstand to scribble his name and sign down as fast as he could.
“So, son now?” he said as he leaned in to hug Hunter. “I bet Eber will start calling you cub.”