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Zoya woke up to the sun streaming through Nikolai Opjer’s bedroom window for the fifth time in a single week.
She was wearing Nikolai’s shirt and a pair of his sweatpants and she knew this was more than casual.
In reality, she’d known for a long time.
The man in question was still asleep, shirtless in a very similar pair of sweatpants. Nikolai was the kind of guy who found an article of clothing he really liked and bought it in every available colour.
He wore grey ones and Zoya wore navy blue.
She’d been cold last night, before they fell asleep, and Nikolai had passed her the clothes without her even mentioning it.
He must’ve noticed her goosebumps.
She curled in towards him, cuddling up to him and smiling to herself as his arms automatically wrapped around her and pulled her in close.
She rested her head on his chest as he slowly began to stir, and just relaxed as the Saturday morning sunbeams warmed them up.
If Zoya was honest with herself, she’d been attracted to Nikolai since the moment he caught her eye across the lecture hall on their first day at Oxford. He’d winked and given her a charming grin and she’d rolled her eyes right back.
Hundreds of men had tried to charm her throughout her life and she was immune to them all.
All of them, except him.
They’d danced around each other for a long while, but she’d gone home with him one night after a post-exam pub crawl and that was the beginning of it all. Late nights tangled together in bedsheets, long conversations over coffee and library tables, quiet mornings eating breakfast and chatting about school and their childhoods.
They’d never defined it. Treating it like some casual friendship with benefits, but if Zoya was real with herself it had never been that.
She’d done friends with benefits before, she’d done casual. This wasn’t anything like those times.
She hadn’t even considered any other man, woman, or otherwise since the very first night.
Zoya Nazyalensky knew that morning that she had been in a beautiful, romantic, monogamous relationship with Nikolai Opjer for five months.
She wondered if he knew it too.
His arms tightened around her as he stirred, making a frankly illegal little noise that made Zoya’s stomach do a little flip.
“Morning, Zoya.” He rasped.
“Mm, morning.” She murmured back, smiling secretly to herself as she felt him bury his face in her hair. The man was obsessed with her shampoo and it was just as endearing every time as it was the first time.
You smell like wildflowers, he’d tell her.
He didn’t have to say it out loud anymore.
“What time is it?” He asked.
Zoya glanced at the clock. “It’s 9:30.”
“Mm. I still have those pastries from the cafe yesterday. We can heat those up for breakfast.”
“Sounds nice.” Zoya lifted her head, to look up at Nikolai. They’d already made plans to study together in the afternoon and they were attending Issak’s birthday dinner that evening.
She knew just how domestic this all was.
Pointing it out could ruin things, or it could be exactly what they need. She was never one to hesitate, she did only for a single second before she’d made up her mind.
“Nikolai?”
Nikolai furrowed his brow a bit as he looked down at her. “Yeah?”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“Please be honest, I won’t be upset no matter what you say… I’m just curious.”
He frowned a bit. “Of course. What is it, Zoya? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, don’t worry. Just. When was the last time you slept with someone other than me?” She bit her lip, suddenly terrified to hear the answer. She thought she knew, but what if she was wrong? What if this was where it all came crashing down?
“Oh.” His frown deepened and Zoya wanted to reach out and smooth the crease between his eyebrows. “I… I don’t remember. It was… it was before. Before the first time we hooked up. Maybe two months before that?”
She couldn’t help the twitch of her lips. “Okay.”
“Why?” He asked, tilting his head.
“I haven’t either. Been with anyone else. Haven’t even thought about it, actually.”
He blinked at her.
They’d agreed to be open about that sort of thing, for safety. So it shouldn’t really have been a shock to either of them. If either of them had been with anyone else they’d have told the other. But knowing that in theory and actually knowing and processing it were two different things.
”This is the fifth morning this week alone. We’re going to a dinner party together tonight.” She added softly, knowing Nikolai was smart enough to put the pieces together from there on what she was implying.
Zoya watched as the realization she had had that morning begin to set into Nikolai too. She could see it on his face. The way his eyes widened, and then softened, and the way he looked at her once he’d processed the implications.
“Are we… are we dating?” He asked her.
“Yes… I think we are.” She answered, unable to keep the smile from curling up this time.
“Huh.” He grinned, blinding. “You know I’ve been wanting to ask you to but I didn’t know how to. Perhaps that’s because we already have exactly what I wanted to ask for. I couldn’t figure out how to ask you because it’s already ours.”
Ours.
Zoya really liked the way he phrased that. Wanting this soft monogamy but already having it without realizing was such a sweet notion that she was worried she might get cavities.
“I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t been obsessed with you this entire time.” She murmured, feeling exposed.
It was something she never thought she’d admit. Especially not to Nikolai.
The look on his face made her vulnerability more than worth it.
“God, Zoya. I’d be lying if I said that you’re not all I can ever fucking think about.”
It made her feel like screeching something wildly embarrassing. How did he have this effect on her? Why didn’t she mind?
“As I should be. I’m a gift.”
“Yes you are.” Nikolai pulled her close again with one arm around her waist and brought the other up to cup her cheek.
She leant into his touch as he moved in to kiss her softly.
They’d kissed a thousand times but something about this kiss was different. This time they had the knowledge of what it truly meant.
She would never utter it to anyone out loud, but it gave Zoya butterflies.
When he pulled back, Nikolai murmured softly, “you are a gift that I have had unknowingly for… has it been five months?”
“Five months exactly, yes.” She couldn’t get rid of the soft smile on her face.
“Well happy anniversary then, my love.”
She laughed, light, filled with joy. “Happy anniversary.”
He grinned and kissed her again.
Once they were up and their croissants were reheating in Nikolai’s fancy toaster, Zoya wrapped her arms around him from behind.
“You know if you wanted to make it official earlier you could’ve just asked.” She teased, knowing full well that she could’ve asked too.
“In my defense, my past relationships did not work out super well and I didn’t want to mess up our clearly already perfectly monogamous relationship.”
“You never did tell me about your past relationships. Were they that bad?” Zoya didn’t really want to hear about Nikolai’s past relationships. But if they’d lead him to her then maybe it would be alright.
“There were two serious partners. My high school girlfriend, Alina and my gap year boyfriend, Mal. They are now married to each other.”
Zoya couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her. “What?!?”
Nikolai turned around and she dropped her arms from around him. As he grinned and leant against the counter he reached back out for her, tugging her back to him by her waist. She hooked her arms around his neck.
“Don’t laugh. It wasn’t bad. I actually set them up. It just is retrospectively a wild situation.” He pouted at her.
“Only retrospectively?” She grinned, leaning up to peck his stupid little pout on pure instinct. “You set up your exes and not only did it work out for them… they got married?”
“Baby on the way now, too.”
“Oh my God, Nikolai.”
Nikolai grinned. “I also officiated the wedding.”
“You’re ordained?” She laughed.
“Of course I am.”
“Of course you are.” She agreed. It was just so Nikolai. She shook her head in amusement. “You’re so… chaotic. Your life has been so chaotic.”
“It’s not too much for you is it? Can’t have you backing out now.” His tone was light but she could hear the tiny sliver of worry in it.
She cupped his face in her hands and made a face at him. “Nothing is too much for me. You’re not getting rid of me now, Opjer.”
“Thank goodness. I’m rather quite attached to you.” He said before leaning in to kiss her sweetly.
Her mind emptied a little as she kissed him back. She’d never felt like this before. What was it about Nikolai that was so different to her? She’d been in other relationships, she’d been sought after by many attractive and charming men. She’d kissed and dated multiple gorgeous models of many genders in her time in that industry.
Nothing had ever made her feel like this.
She supposed she knew the difference.
She needed to tell him.
She might’ve been afraid if it wasn’t for the way he held her, the way he kissed her, the way he ignored the ding of the fancy toaster oven to pull her impossibly closer.
She just knew he felt the same. She knew her confession would be met with the same one right back.
Zoya Nazyalensky had never been afraid to say what she was thinking and she wasn’t going to start now.
“Nikolai?” She murmured it against his lips and he pulled back only enough to meet her eyes.
“Yes, love?”
“I’ve had many realizations this morning.”
“Oh yeah? Beyond the status of our relationship, what else?” He asked, hand toying playfully with the curls that fell to her waist where he held her.
She moved her hands to play with his hair in return, watching his eyes flutter closed. “Five months is plenty of time to know.” She told him.
He arched his brow. “To know what?”
“That I’m in love with you.”
The smile that spread across his face as he opened his eyes was like looking into the sun.
“Zoya, I’ve been in love with you since long before we started this.”
“That’s not true, we barely talked.” She pointed out, but she was beaming anyway.
“Maybe it’s not completely true. But I was infatuated, and I knew I was not special for feeling that way. Everyone’s eyes followed you, everyone blushed when you looked their way. All these people seeking some deep truth behind your stormy heart. But you’ve always been more than just Zoya Nazyalensky, ‘Storm Queen’, to me.”
Zoya rolled her eyes light heartedly at the nickname. People at school loved to call her some variation of a bitch in fancy terms. The most common, ‘Storm Queen’, was certainly creative.
Nikolai continued speaking, “When you gave me the time of day, when we started speaking, when you came home with me that night. I knew why I felt like that. People think you are just cold and spiteful, angry and blunt. And you are certainly those things, but you are so much more too. You are not just a storm, you are a dragon, confident and bold and shining and I wouldn’t change anything about you. You know how much value you have and you speak your mind. You are as you are and what you are is perfection. It has been a truly beautiful experience getting to know you, and falling in love with you, Zoya.”
She would not cry, she refused to. “Fuck, Nikolai. How do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Say the perfect thing. It’s infuriating.”
“I’m sorry.” He said, laughing in the way Zoya loved, with his eyes, his shoulders shaking a little with the force of it.
She shook her head, “No you’re not.”
“No, I’m not.”
She laughed now too, and moved to hug him, resting her head on his chest as his arms folded perfectly around her to keep her close.
“I never expected to find love like this.” She murmured into the quiet after a moment.
“Well, I’m eternally grateful you found it with me.” Nikolai replied softly.
Happy accidents. That’s what people called things like this. Zoya thought nothing was ever really an accident, not something this meaningful.
They found each other in exactly the manner they needed too, and she would be damned if she let it go anytime soon.