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Nigel woke up with a strange feeling. The sound of the train tracks and machines rang inside his head as if they were the only sounds he could hear. He didn't remember anything, but he knew one thing for certain—his name was Nigel Colbie, and he was completely messed up.
"Are you up?" A familiar voice called out to him. Nigel turned around to find his only friend sitting in front of him. His Jack is here with him.
Nigel didn't answer the question. Instead, he gave the man a mixed expression of confusion and drowsiness. It was a familiar feeling, like he had just experienced déjà vu. The train, the atmosphere, and the dark sky under the moonlight—it was all very strange.
"Where are we going?" The shorter man asked with a faint tone. For the first time, Nigel could feel his heart beating, and he felt slightly warm because of the green coat he was wearing—was it even his?
At first, Nigel thought the man didn't want to answer, but after a moment, he finally spoke. "Where do you want to go?" Nigel noticed that the man's lips slightly curved up, forming a faded smile. It was indeed strange to see this view.
"Somewhere far away," he said, resting his head into the seat. Nigel didn't usually share his deepest desires or feelings with anyone. He didn't know why he told him this, but he preferred to keep it to himself because he didn't want anyone to know about his vulnerable feelings. But who even cared about him anyway?
"I want to go with you, Jack. Anywhere is fine."
Nigel spoke with a hoarse voice. He didn't know why he was here or how this guy had brought his body onto the train, but he didn't care. Nigel didn't ask about anything that mattered, he only wanted one thing—something he couldn't reach.
He wanted to live, he wanted his Maraclea, to be one with his Jack, and he wanted it for eternity, where everything could live forever.
"The gun," Nigel startled, as his gaze turned towards him. The man sighed as he locked his gaze into Nigel's empty eyes.
"What?"
"I forgot to bring it back to you."
As the storm began to rise, Nigel finally smiled, a smile that hid his deepest memories. "It's ridiculous, isn't it Jack?" he said, almost chuckling at the vision of them arguing in the rain. The sound of the gun still ringing inside of his mind, and the smell of gunpowder still stuck in his nose. It felt so painful, yet so whimsical.
He actually didn't know if he was close to his near dreams or just his near death.
Nigel's gaze seems full of something unreadable, and his skin was as pale as snow. His body trembled, but he doesn't care if it was because of the cold or something else.
"It hurts, so painful that I can feel every guilt pouring down into my chest,"
The man in front of him didn't say anything. Instead, he looked out the window, ignoring Nigel the entire time.
"I don't want to wake up, Alex." As he finally let go of the name Jack, Nigel prayed. His eyes trembled, and his vision slowly became blurry while his eyelids becoming heavy in every second.
Jack was smiling, silently.
Nigel knew that he would always be trapped in his endless dreams for the eternity. Then, he finally closed his eyes tightly.