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It’s not easy having a famous ex. His face is on billboards everywhere. His music is in every Starbucks you go to. And worst of all-
“Miss, can you comment on ‘Fuck Semi Eita’, the latest hit single by Semi Eita?’
“Yeah, I have a comment for you. Suck my dick.”
It doesn’t matter that paparazzi have been stalking you through the streets for almost four hours before they had gotten that clip of you, which had been liked over a million times and reuploaded to multiple social media sites, or that they had resorted to borderline harassment to get you to react. All the internet cared about were the lurid headlines splashed over the front page of every trashy gossip magazine. They had practically salivated over this opportunity to make a pariah out of you - but at least it wasn’t new.
Dating Semi was like a dream, until it had become a nightmare. Even though you worked in the industry, you had never expected to meet him, much less gain his completely undivided attention.
Everyone who had even just barely brushed paths with him said the same thing: although generally easy going, the laser focus with which he went after his goals was intimidating. You had experienced it first hand, watching him demand nothing less than excellence from everyone he worked with, but when your eyes had met over the camera, something shifted in the room.
It was an almost palpable tension snapping into place between the two of you. He blinked, not shaken, never shaken, but - startled. By you? It had to be impossible.
You glanced away first, internally scolding yourself for losing like that, then scolding yourself again because what exactly had you lost? It wasn’t like this a staring contest in grade school, in the awkward way children flirted, but when you peeked back up, his grey eyes were on you again.
Having his gaze on you felt inexplicably daring, like jumping into the ocean headfirst, waves crashing over your head, but it was every bit as irresistible as the tide. No matter what, his arresting gaze pulled you in, even as it stole the breath from your lungs.
Though you resisted seeing him outside of business at first, citing workplace ethics, when his contract with your boss ended, there was nothing holding you back. You fell fast and hard. It was flattering to have the attention of a rockstar, especially one that spoiled you as much as he did. You had never had particularly low self esteem, but Semi made you feel invincible. It was hard not to feel that way when he wrote love songs about you that brought crowds of people to tears.
He was strangely sweet, apart from all the cliches that you couldn’t help but love. Dating him was like a movie come to life - he was determined to sweep you off your feet. Even if you resisted, the chance of getting to see a side to him that no one else saw, at being allowed into the notoriously private Semi Eita’s kitchen, being served homemade breakfast, was impossible to turn down.
He made you weak.
You couldn’t stop yourself from agreeing to meet him again and again, first for coffee, then clandestine movie nights at his house, until one way or another, you found yourself in his lap, being kissed senseless. Eventually, movie nights in his at home theater couldn’t satisfy him, or you. Greed made you careless, and carelessness made you foolish, and foolishness cost you everything, in the end.
6 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days after Semi swept into your life like a hurricane, everything comes crashing down. In retrospect, it had barely held together in the first place, but you had just been too in love to notice.
Had it been love or obsession?
It started with the magazines, just barely testing the waters: ‘Rockstar Semi Eita’s Girlfriend: A Real Life Cinderella,’ ‘Ten Facts about Semi’s Girl,’ ‘Semi Eita Breaks Hearts with New Announcement.’ It was okay, in the beginning. Although definitely not preferable, you could stand it, if it meant you could stay with Semi. Anything was tolerable with him next to you, arm around your shoulders, ready to take on the world for you.
He let you play with his rings when you got nervous during interviews.
You never thought that this small show of vulnerability would be a mistake, but it started small, as most things that end up being unbearable tend to do. The PDA was gross, someone said. Semi had changed because of his girlfriend. She was a bad influence. He was no longer cool. His PR team was furious with him. His manager was struggling to save his reputation. His fanbase was trashing his merchandise. His biggest competition was still single and thus, marketable.
It all piled up, one on top of the other, until it became too overwhelming, a cacophony of voices that made you want to lose the ability to hear forever. Everyone had an opinion, and it felt like your life was no longer your own.
Semi might have agreed to this, but you hadn’t chosen this life. You never wanted to be in the public eye. And if you had inadvertently done so by becoming his girlfriend, then maybe it was the wrong choice.
When had you started to hate the news? When had you started to hate him?
He notices, of course.
Semi’s known in the industry for being a bit of a loose cannon, in the way all rock stars are divas. He’s as passionate a lover as he is an artist, but when you ask him to break up, he accepts it without a fight. It’s wrong. It’s suspicious.
You kind of wanted him to fight for you.
@THESEMIEITA 5m if you don’t leave my ex alone I will be filing a suit
@THESEMIEITA 4m if ur my fan and ur harassing her, ur embarrassing me and banned from my concerts. if ur a pap and ur harassing her, ur a fucking creep and i’ll sue ur ass.
@THESEMIETA 3m idk why some of u thought i was joking but i have a blacklist three hundred names long. keep trying me and i’ll find a way to make sure you never get my albums either idc if u think it’s impossible
@SEMISTAN 3m look i love semi as much as the next person and this is really sweet but also like?? sir?? are u sure this is just an ex??
@SEMISTAN 2m SEMI LIKED??? DUDE WTF
@SEMISTAN 1m semi unliked.
@THESEMIEITA 1m accident
@DORE(SE)MI 30s accident my ass
@THESEMIEITA 10s bruh why can’t i get kpop stans who make sexy fancams of me all my fans do is clown me
Worst of all, ‘Fuck Semi Eita’ is catchy. You’ve done your best to avoid listening to it, but it’s impossible when it’s the hottest song in the entire country. He’s breaking charts in record time, and you feel a strange mix of pride and sorrow. At least you’re helping him in this roundabout way, even if you felt like you couldn’t do anything when you had actually been together.
Inevitably, the song gets stuck in your head. It’s played in every single store you go to. It has a permanent place on the radio. Even your mother has switched her ringtone to the instrumental version, though she always does her best to pick up before you can make out what song it is (she can’t seriously think that works, can she?) The entire world has banded together to make sure that you can’t escape him, and you can’t even be mad. It’s a piece of him, after all. You could never be mad at that.
Your voice is horrible. It’s scratchy and rough and you can’t carry a tune to save your life - that’s why you left the serenading to Semi - but ‘Fuck Semi Eita’ is easy. Simple. Probably because the bastard wrote it for you to sing, since that’s just the type of person he was.
Be angry if you have to, but come be angry near me.
Hate me, curse me, hurt me all you want, but I want you to do it when you’re in my arms.
Lyrically, it might be one of his worst works - the words of the critics, not you. There’s no sign of the carefully crafted metaphors, the tongue in cheek innuendos, the wordplay and quicksilver wit that had made him a household name. It’s a completely fresh start, the rejuvenating conclusion to an album that had been about heartbreak and grief, an attack against a world and journalists that had betrayed him in the golden glow of new love.
One of his ‘worst’ works, and people ate it up. They loved it. There were viral Twitter threads on the beauty of the simplicity of this piece, how it was so straightforward it pierced the heart and remained stuck there. It was unforgettable.
People were signing petitions demanding an apology from the media moguls that had slandered your name, petitioning for better support from the companies that were supposed to protect you, and even going so far as to consider legislation that would make online harassment easier to punish.
You don’t care about any of this, because no one else, for all of their carefully thought out analyses, know that the song is a message for you.
‘Fuck Semi Eita’ was a song designed for you. It’s sung from your perspective, a wholehearted admission of all of his faults that drove you away (if a little teasing at times). It’s a ballad detailing your epic love story. It’s an apology and a demand for one, because you walked away first. You gave up on him, but he’s not ready to give up on you yet.
You hate this discovery. You hate him.
In fact, you hate him so much that you’re driving to his apartment in the pouring rain, taking a page out of his book, and preparing to pull off one of those disgusting rom-com cliches he had always been doing for you.
You should’ve known - there’s no universe in which Semi Eita lets you walk out of his life without fighting for you.
“Writing me a song about all of your flaws couldn’t really have been the best plan to get me to take you back, could it?”
“I mean, it worked.”
"Because you made it obvious how much you needed me, you-”
“Yeah. I need you. I think I’ll die without you. Is that so bad?”
Your jaw drops open, heat rising in your face. ‘Fuck Semi Eita’ had been honest, but you hadn’t expected him to be so straightforward right from the get go. He refuses to look away from you, eyes as sharp as the night you had met. Carefully, he brings a hand up to your cheek, cradling your face. You can feel the callouses his guitar has left on him.
“I’m sorry,” you blurt out.
He glares. “Are you serious?”
“I thought you wanted an apology?”
“Are you- holy shit. Right now? You’re ruining the mood.”
Before you can retort, he leans and kisses you, the song he dedicated to you playing softly in the background. He does seem like the kind of asshole to listen to his own music.
And you’re the type of asshole to find it hot.
“Semi,” you murmur against his lips. He gives you an aggravated look, but softens when he sees your expression. He pulls you onto the sofa where you shared your first kiss with hands more tender and gentle than anyone else would ever feel from him.
“I’m glad you’re home,” he says, pressing a kiss to the hand he still holds. Because home will always be where you’re most loved - with him.
‘My Girlfriend Broke Up With Me And Now She’s My Wife’ breaks the record 'Fuck Semi Eita’ held for greatest number of copies sold in one day six years, 2 months, and five weeks later.