Chapter Text
1999
Rose was leaving them.
Okay, maybe Ray was being a bit dramatic.
It was Friday morning, and Rose was leaving Ray and Bobby for a long weekend to do a couple of shows in San Jose with the Pedal Pushers. Ray would have loved to go cheer her on, but he had a wedding to shoot Sunday while Bobby planned to spend the weekend working at the bookstore and writing for his album. They had to do anything they could these days to afford their skyrocketing Los Angeles rent. ($700/month. Highway robbery!) Most of Bobby’s advance on his debut album, set to come out later that year, was spent on new guitars for both Bobby and Rose. For Ray, he was given a new camera, and Bobby insisted on helping him get a car for work. Now Ray was the proud owner of a 1997 Honda Accord with 25K miles on it, which was the closest thing Ray had ever even seen to a brand new car. Rose had insisted on keeping her ancient beloved slug bug but accepted a very romantic weekend away at an exclusive Vegas resort instead. And Bobby insisted on setting them up with a savings account.
“¡Dios Mio! We’re rich!” Ray had proclaimed the first time he ever saw more than two zeroes behind the first number in their bank account balance.
His girlfriend had been quick to swat him on the shoulder.
“And the first time Astrid needs a repair or one of us ends up in the hospital, that money goes away so we keep working hard and spend wisely,” Rose had warned.
Ray blinked. “Who’s Astrid?”
“Your car, por supuesto!”
“You named his car Astrid?” Bobby had remarked.
“Why does the car have to be a girl?” Ray questioned. “I like boys too, you know.”
“Astrid can be a boy's name too and that’s not the point!”
Rose had thrown her hands up in the air in frustration, leaving them as she turned on the TV to yell answers at the people on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire”.
Back then, the idea of having some kind of emergency big enough to actually drain their newly-acquired savings account seemed a bit of an extremist worry. Like the people stockpiling cash and canned goods in case the world really ended after December 31, 1999.
Little did he know.
Ray was already feeling the exhaustion and headache when Rose was walking him and Bobby through the plan for the weekend, but he chalked it up to a long week spent developing photos and delivering pizzas on the side.
“There’s leftover sancocho in the fridge and lasagna in the freezer,” Rose informed him and Bobby, “so please don’t just live on pizza for three days, mi amors.”
“Rosa, we’re two grown men, we can take care of ourselves for three days,” Ray smirked, rolling his eyes. “Go, have fun! Have great shows.”
Rose threw them both a doubtful look, which Bobby clearly also wasn’t amused with.
“This reminds me, I have laundry to go get out of the dryer,” Bobby announced, “since I am, in fact, a grown adult who can take care of himself.”
“I know that…” Rose hesitated, looking back up at Ray in particular, trying to communicate something he couldn’t understand. “The number for my motel and the bar we are playing at is on the fridge. I can be back late Sunday if you need me-"
“You are coming back Monday morning,” Ray insisted. He didn’t like the idea of the band driving back to Los Angeles after midnight, after a gig, at all. “Because we will be fine.”
Leaning in, Ray planted a soft kiss to her lips and offered her a reassuring smile. As they broke apart, he whispered:
“Te amo, Rose.”
“Te amo, Ray.”
Nearby, Bobby cleared his throat, and Rose grinned as she slid over to give him a kiss goodbye too. Her hand squeezed their boyfriend’s arm reassuringly, as Bobby gingerly brushed his fingers through Rose’s curls in a way that reassured her right back.
“Te amo, Bobby,” Rose whispered.
“Te amo, Rose,” Bobby smiled. “I’m gonna go get that laundry. I can take your bag downstairs on the way.”
“Gracias, mi amor,” Rose replied. “I’ll be right down.”
As Bobby grabbed her suitcase and his empty laundry basket and headed out the door, Rose turned back to Ray.
“What are you so worried about?” Ray laughed. “I’m twenty-five years old, Bobby’s just turned twenty-two. We’ll be fine, I’m almost a little offended here.”
“I know you can take care of yourselves,” Rose admitted. She reached for his hand. “It’s just that...you and Bobby haven’t had a full weekend to yourselves before, not since we started this relationship.”
The world tilted a bit as Ray realized Rose was right.
His chest felt tight in a way he (wrongly) assumed had to do solely with the sudden realization that he was going to be alone with a boyfriend for the first time ever for three whole days.
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?!” Ray yelped.
“I figured you’d eventually realize that me leaving for the weekend meant you were staying with our boyfriend, alone,” she mused.
“Oh my god.”
What did Bobby expect of him? Did he expect they would…do stuff? Just the two of them? Which they had never done before because Rose was always there. Would it be different without Rose involved? Did he even want it without Rose there?
Who was he kidding. Of course it would be different.
And of course he wanted it.
He wanted everything with Bobby that he had with Rose, individually and together.
“What happened to ‘I’m a grown man, I’ll be fine’?” She teased.
Ray drew in a deep breath; his face felt hot with both nerves and embarrassment (or so he thought). This would only be a big deal if he made this a big deal. And maybe this would be a good step, for him and Bobby.
“I’m kidding, Ray,” Rose promised. She bit her lip, hesitating before admitting: “I was just thinking…you two haven’t told each other that you love each other.”
He took a step back in shock and ran a hand through his cropped black hair at that accusation.
“That’s…that’s just not true,” Ray protested.
Rose crossed her arms.
“It is so true! You two always say it to me but not to each other.”
He tried to think of a single instance that he said the L word to Bobby to prove her wrong but…he couldn’t. There was never a big, momentous, event of telling Bobby that he loved him, like there had been with Rose.
With Bobby, while it had been four years since Ray first met Bobby, it had only been a few months since Bobby kissed him and Rose for the first time and opened the pandora’s box that was their new, and very private, relationship. Their relationship was exhilarating, terrifying, and incredible all at the same time. It was nothing like Ray had ever imagined he would or could or would want to have, but he did have it and he did want it. He loved it, Ray knew he did. He loved Rose, and he loved Bobby too. Rose had told Bobby he loved him after a particular intimate time together, and Ray had been so stunned by both the confession and the intensity of everything that he didn't know how to react. So he just let Rose and Bobby have their moment, afraid of ruining it by saying something stupid. Then the next morning Rose told Bobby again, while he was making coffee. Bobby looked dumbfounded as she casually planted a kiss to his cheek and bounced out the door for work after. He had confessed to Ray that he was so sure Rose had just said it in the heat of the moment; when Ray insisted Rose really did love him, Bobby said it back as soon as Rose got home that night.
And Ray…had never made a point to say it right to Bobby’s face. Not directly. He hoped he had shown Bobby he loved him, with how much he cared about him, but he hadn’t said it yet, and he wasn't even sure why. He felt terrible at the realization, he felt like the worst boyfriend ever, except he also realized Bobby had never told him either.
Bobby did love him…right?
“Bobby knows I love him,” Ray insisted, hoping this wasn’t as bad as it felt.
The comment earned him another look.
“Does he know?” Rose challenged gently. “Like I said, he hasn’t said it to you either. Don’t you want to hear that from him? Don’t you love him?”
His throat went all dry. His heart pounded in his chest.
“Yeah. Of course I love him, and yeah…I want to hear it back.”
She squeezed his arm.
“You know how hard it is for him to open up,” Rose pointed out, “he might be looking for you to take the lead, and maybe this weekend’s a good opportunity.”
Hand cupping his cheek, she leaned up to kiss him again, her eyes sparkled when they pulled apart.
“The flower shop across the street is running a sale tomorrow, just saying, and there are some new candles in the bedside table. Oh, and I bought you guys some more condoms and lube too.”
“Rose!” He squeaked. His cheeks and ears felt even warmer. “So…you don’t mind if we do…stuff…without you?”
With a cheeky grin, she patted his cheek.
“Mi amor, mi vida, mi idiota. My greatest wish for this weekend is that you two will say some very important words to each other and do lots and lots of stuff together while I’m gone,” she teased in a low voice that made him gulp, “and I want to hear all about it when I get back.”
He let out an undignified whimper as she winked at him and threw him a wicked smile.
“I have faith in you two,” Rose called as she collected her guitar and headed for the door, “and I love you both. Good luck!”
Ray was left watching her leave in a daze, wondering how he was supposed to plan a last minute romantic three day weekend for his boyfriend…and how he could possibly tell Bobby he loved him in a way that would be special enough.
(But first, he had to do something about this pounding headache.)