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Gen was no stranger to sleepless nights. In the old world these bouts of insomnia happend on a regular basis.
Courtesy of being a famous entertainer.
The pressure of perfection worked on him like caffein, which he by the way grew quite fond of overtime since it was literally the only thing keeping him awake during daytime.
Nether the less, the scenario he currently found himself in was nothing new.
What was new ,however, was the fact that he wasn’t the only one being awake at this awful hour.
(He assumed it must have been around 2 am, but time is quite uncertain in the Stone world, so who knows?)
His roommate, a certain scientist with leak-like hair, wasn’t even in their room.
Well, Gen is indeed used to Senkuu ‘s regular disregard of healthy sleeping patterns, therefore it isn’t way to shocking.
But, this time, Senkuu went to bed at a similar time than him.
So, where is he?
A tiny noise from above answered his question.
Gen’s lips curled into a slight smile before slowly walking to the observatory, careful not to make any sound.
As he finally reached his destination he spotted the source of the voice from before….and his smile fell immediately.
Senkuu-Chan
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The scientist still hasn’t noticed the company, he seemed to deep in thought, looking into the telescope as if it would hold the deepest secret of the world.
To be honest to himself, Senkuu’s current track of thought was completely and utterly illogical.
Somehow, his mind wasn’t given him a break, letting him stay awake even though he actually wanted to sleep this time.
No wonder actually, everything that happend at the war, everything that happened with Tsukasa, but mostly today of all days….
On days like these, the burden of the world’s development weighed even heavier on his shoulders, making him nearly collapse on spot if he wouldn’t be sitting already.
On days like these everything simply felt too much. It was illogical, it was stupid.
Senkuu knew it, but he couldn’t stop those thoughts from crossing his mind over and over again.
Am I really good enough to restore the world? Can I really be a good enough leader?
What, if I’m not good enough? What if I fail? Are they gonna betray me?
Can I trust the people around me? Should I do more?
Can I do more?
Am I…good enough?
Would…father be proud of me?
The scientist felt himself losing it.
A feeling that was so foreign to the the normally so collected Senkuu, crept itself up his spine.
Like a venomous snake it slung itself around his whole body, nearly choking him.
That feeling…
That dangerous, venomous, illogical, stupid feeling….
….it was anxiety.
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For the untrained eyes, Senkuu might seem to hide his uneasiness well.
But Gen‘s eyes are far from untrained.
The slight irritation in his foot steps, the way he seemed to zoom out more, the lost stares into nothingness….
The mentalist was all to familiar with those symptoms.
He has detected them more often than not on himself after all.
In hindsight, as a mentalist, he should have figured, he would find Senkuu in a situation such as this.
So, the mentalist silently approached the other, again careful.
Startling Senkuu-Chan in his current condition might give him a heart attack after all.
Slowly, he sat himself down next to Senkuu and placed a light blanket around them for the chillness of night, hoping for a reaction.
Nothing.
When the other still hasn’t made any moves after a few minutes, Gen decided to do the most rational thing, speaking up:
“My my, Senkuu-Chan, you for sure gonna catch a cold, sitting in the chillness of night like this.”
Gen didn’t make any eye contact with the other, knowing better than to stare holes into poor Senkuu-Chan.
However, turned out his previous attempts of preventing Senkuu from a scare didn’t quite work out.
The scientist shot out of his train of thoughts, looked around, bewildered and with wide eyes, until they finally landed on his companion.
Gen ‘s heart skipped a beat, when he realized that Senkuu’s features seemed to relax exactly at the moment the scientist and mentalist’s gaze fell on each other.
Did he relaxed a little just by seeing me?
Senkuu, startled from the sudden attack, slowly closed his eyes, collected his thoughts for a moment and sighed.
Why is it that I always find comfort in the mentalist´s voice?
Nether the less, the scientist opened his eyes again, looked up to the moon and finally answered:
“What is it…mentalist? Shouldn’t you be sleeping at this hour? It´s already….2.30 am”
He received a little chuckle from the other, a faint scent of relief in it.
“I was about to ask you the same question, Senkuu-Chan.”
The both of them sat there in silence for a while, looking up to the moon, one calming down from a near panic attack, the other simply being there for silent comfort.
After a few, rather relaxing, minutes, the older one began to talk again:
“You know, Senkuu-Chan, I guess both of us know the reason for your sleepless
nights,hm? Though, I understand if you don’t want to talk about it.”
Emotions were never your thing. Too illogical for you, am I right?
“No, actually, I think it might help this time.”
….huh?
Gen’s mask broke a little at that, showing the prominent confusion this answer rewarded him with.
“Well, mentalist, I…don’t have a lot experience with that topic”
“Referring to emotional statements as ‘topic’ is already quite insulting, Senkuu-Chan.”
“But, I will try for you”
F-for me?!
Gen was relieved that Senkuu still had his gaze on the moon.
Otherwise, he would be greeted by a blushing mess next to him.
Senkuu’s distressed face from before, slowly morphed into a slight smile.
But the exhaustion and insecureness these unfamiliar kinds of talk caused the scientist, were quite obvious for the magician.
The tension in his muscles, the way his body was more stiff than usual. The signals were there, but Senkuu-Chan still pushed through that and continued talking.
“Well, you might not know it, but… I see you as a kind of right-hand man in this stone world, mentalist. Without you, I wouldn’t have been able to go through with all my plans for this world till now. Sure, you aren’t of much help than it comes to physical activities, but you are an important piece of this kingdom and I’m ten billion percent sure the others think the same.”
Gen ´s blush turned a shade darker with each sentence the scientist stated.
And here I originally came to comfort you, not the other way around…
Still, even though he didn’t show it, Gen was quite curious about Senkuu ´s actual state of mind right now.
He had a few ideas, but as a mentalist, he desperately wanted to confirm them.
So, with a bit of smug (simply to provoke Senkuu) , Gen spoke up:
“Thanks Senkuu-Chan, but I have the slight feeling I’m not really the one who needs a motivational talk tonight,hmm?”
But I appreciate it.
Senkuu looked off guarded for a second.
However, realization soon dawned on him and a dark chuckle that didn’t suit his character at all escaped his mouth.
“ I haven’t expected anything less from you, mentalist.
You can really look through everyone, can’t you?”
“No, I actually have trouble reading you sometimes. But recently, you seemed more distracted and zoomed out more often than not.”
“Yeah, I guess I was a bit too obvious…”
“Like I’ve said before, your personal conflicts have nothing to do with me so you don’t have to share them, if you don’t wish to.”
Please, just tell me the truth already…
“Aren’t you the one who’s lying to himself right now?”
Senkuu’s voice was steady even with the circumstances and for the first time this night, he turned his head around and looked directly into Gen’s ocean blue orbs.
However, Gen kept his cool.
“Well, who knows, Senkuu-Chan?
When we would already be two, if that would be true.”
The magician smirked at his statement.
Pressuring him to change the subject….
Senkuu, Senkuu, you can’t trick a mentalist, my dear.
He countered Senkuu’s stare with a newfound determination.
The other seemed to see this change as well.
Senkuu’s stare lost its sharpness and with a sigh the scientist lowered his head.
“Fine, you win this time…today is October 8th, Byakuya’s birthday”
By the mention of Byakuya’s name, Senkuu looked up to the stars again.
“Back in our old world, I…have never really appreciated him the way I should have.
Ever since I’ve seen his grave, I can’t help feeling those illogical feelings…and feel responsible for never being the son he perhaps wished me to be…”
“That’s nonsense!”
Gen has raised his voice higher than intended, but it had its wished effect.
Senkuu starled and looked back up to Gen.
Gen took that as a sign to continue:
“Of course, I didn’t know your father, but from everything I can deduce till now, I can confidently say that he would be extremely proud of you. You know, without you Senkuu-Chan, bringing back our modern civilization would have been impossible!”
Wait, what?
A small drop of water ran down Senkuu’s face.
The magician felt guilty all of a sudden. Has he made Senkuu cry?
However, a small smile made its way through Senkuu’s tired with tears sprinkled expressions.
“Thanks, mentalist. Who knew that you were capable of comforting someone?”
In actuality, Gen was never good at this whole comforting thing, but oh well.
Nether the less, Senkuu continued:
“And…thank you for being here with me,but why are you even…up…at this hou…r”
He couldn’t get an answer, because with his mind cleared, Senkuu was finally able to relinquish into the sweet relief of sleep.
His weight landed on Gen, but the other didn’t mind.
After a quick glance to the scientist’s sleeping form, the magician averted his eyes back to the night sky.
He knew that he wouldn’t get any sleep tonight, but the warm feeling in his chest, that came with Senkuu smoothed his plaguing thoughts a bit.
He chuckeled quietly:
“And here, I actually wanted to stargaze with you, Senkuu-Chan”
And as the sky slowly turned red from the sunrise, Gen couldn’t help feeling happy just for being there with his secret crush.