Work Text:
Furlough.
It wasn’t like I was dreading it...or maybe I was. I honestly didn’t know anymore. We were being allowed off base for much needed leave from the war we had been fighting for the past who-knows-how-long. With everyone going their separate ways for a week, I felt strangely lost.
The base had been empty for about an hour now. I had contemplated staying over leave. Engie had urged me to join him and Solly on their trip to Texas for a week but I didn’t want to be a burden. I’m sure they needed the R and R as much as the next guy. Spy had taken Pyro to France; she had always wanted to see Paris. Heavy and Ms. Pauling were who-knows-where given that the Administrator had actually allowed her some time off.. Demo had gone back to Scotland to see his mother and Medic had ventured up North to “take care of some business” whatever the hell that meant. And of course Snipes had gone to see his parents. And I was going to miss him like crazy. He had left about 20 minutes ago; one of the last to leave since he was catching a late flight. I was gonna miss him. Of course, I would never let him know that.
It had gotten dark outside, snow fluttering from the angry gray clouds quicker and quicker as the day spanned to night. I suppose I should go somewhere. Anywhere really. Could even take my car on a road trip for the week. I had plenty of money for it and it wouldn’t be the first time I slept in my car. I sat up a little straighter on the worn rec room couch. It had grown fairly dark inside as well though I didn’t mind. With all the generators off and it nearing the end of the year, the base was near freezing.
I got up from my position on the couch and jogged my way to my room, attempting to alleviate the stinging sensations in my toes and and calves. Grabbing my rugged knapsack, I began stuffing in my civilian clothes and toiletries. It was almost Smissmas. Maybe I could go buy some new clothes as a gift to myself. I chuckled, the feeling of buying myself a gift eliciting a faint sense of embarrassment. Finishing up with my packing, I adorned myself in my favorite purple scarf Pyro had knit for me about four years ago and my leather jacket. Not really made for the weather here at Sawmill but more for the Badlands cold desert nights. Flinging the bag over my shoulder, I took one last look around the room and let the door fall closed on my heels as I made my way out to the rec room and to my car. About five inches had already gathered on the ground, the air practically a white sheet and my car had not been spared. With a sigh I trudged forward and began to swipe the white fluff from my windshield and door. Once it was clear, I pried the door open, threw my bag in the back and settled into the driver’s seat. Bringing the car to life, I decided to set back and wait for the the beast to defrost. I always enjoyed the darkness and now was no different. The snow was damn near impossible to see through and completely gorgeous. I could hear Dean faintly singing about being home for the holidays. I could feel my chest tightening and my throat beginning to constrict...the threat of being alone for another holiday almost unbearable.
I would be lying if I told you I imagined myself fighting in a war, single and alone, as the ideal life. Not that I didn’t love my job. Nonononono. I loved my job. I just...I dunno...I wanted a family. I wanted to have my own house. I wanted to be normal. But I suppose I was never meant to be normal. Not with where I’m from or what I’ve done. I wanted a future though. I wanted to be with Snipes. And I dunno if he would ever want that with me. In the long run I mean. I suppose sleeping with the same man for almost a year now would elicit some kind of emotion. And it did. Emotions that threatened to tear me apart day in and day out. I smiled to myself, the heat of the car making my body slow down and relax. At least he was with his parents. I would never expect him to choose me over them. Never in a million years.
The piano over the radio was playing ever so softly when I heard the crunch of gravel and snow. Stiffening in my seat, I rose up and looked out at the black winter wonderland that covered the trees and base. A pair of headlights were approaching which was, of course, weird seeing as how I was the only person supposed to be left here. As the headlights grew nearer ever so slowly, I found myself hoping more and more someone had decided to stay back over the holiday season.
The van pulled to a stop a short distance away from my car, headlights pointed toward the uncharacteristically dark RED base. The snow looked as if it had no intention of letting up and the music had turned to Frank Sinatra’s “I’ll Be Home For Smissmas”. I reached for the door and pushed it open, effectively letting out all of the heat I had been saving over the past thirty minutes. I heard a door slam and was greeted with the familiar tall, lanky frame of the man I loved coming around the front of his camper - the headlights spilling light onto the bright white ground.
“Hey-yo, Snipes. Uhhh whatcha doin? Shouldn’t you be on a plane?” I strode toward him, my Buck Turner All-Stars effectively soaking in every last drop of moisture and freezing my toes. He had stopped next to his van, uncertainty evident from his current stance.
“Scout? Whatareya doin here? Everybody’s supposed to be gone for the week.” He met me halfway between the vehicles, the snow dancing lazily around our beings.
“Oh. Well. I was just...um...I was going to hang out for a bit then maybe leave tomorrow or somethin.” I averted his gaze, unsure if I could deal with the feelings that would very well overtake me should I let them. “But whateva about me. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be on a plane right now?”
He looked different. I don’t know how I would explain it. Warm, maybe? Homely? Or maybe that was just my brain telling me to hug him and drink cocoa with him and listen to Smissmas music as we sat by a roaring fire entwined in each other’s arms. Fuckin imagination.
“My plane was grounded due to the weather.I already called me mum and dad and told ‘em I might not make it unless another flight comes up. But Scout were you going to stay here the entire leave?” He reached out and grabbed my hands, his gloved ones heaven on my own frozen appendages.
“Well. Yeah. Alright look, man, I just don’t have anywhere to go alright? I just decided to hang back and maybe road trip if I got too bored with this place but yeah. I’m alone alright? Freakin Spy took Pyro to Paris. Paris! And well I’m here freezing my ass off, alone, and that’s how I like it alright?” My eyes were stinging and my breath was short and I was just so angry about everything. I felt bad for going off the handle but hell, I don’t know how much of this shit I can keep inside.
Sniper looked stricken for a moment. However, a slow smile spread over his rugged features the longer he stared at me. He reached down and pulled his gloves off and his outer jacket - handing the gloves to me and draping the jacket over my shoulders. Unsure of how to react, I just stood there staring at him as he wrapped his arms around me.
“Love. You really think I’m going to let ya freeze your arse off? You really think I’m going to let ya spend your favorite holiday alone? Sorry. I can’t let that happen in good conscious. Besides I can always bring you home to the folks if all else fails. It’s bound to happen at some point right? ” It felt so good in his arms, his heart beating next to my ear and his breath hot on my hair. I was in shock, to be honest. I wasn’t really planning on any of this happening...well...ever. I felt a chuckle rumble through him as he kissed my head. “I love you, Roo.” he whispered.
My breath caught in my throat and my heart lurched in my chest. He...what?
I reached out and wrapped my arms around his torso, snuggling my head under his chin and pressing our bodies as close as I could effectively get them. I didn’t want this to end. I didn’t care that my toes may have hypothermia.
“I love you too, Snipes.” I whispered into his chest. He returned the hug, his muscles rippling under his shirt and his breathing low. The snow had stopped falling, the remaining snowflakes hanging in the air as if they were tethered in the sky by invisible string. The world was completely silent, save for our steady breathing and whispered words of endearment. And I never wanted this to end.