Archive of Our Own ^beta

Katsuki was gonna fucking die. He was gonna fucking die, and rot, and be reborn, then faint, and then fucking die again.

Something was wrong with Kirishima. 

His hair was no longer gelled to form those stupid fucking spikes, his skin was almost fucking grey, and he was wearing black shirts on random coloured sweatpants every day. And in addition to that, all of his shitty fucking friends were showering him with pity.

Did no one notice that Kirishima clearly didn’t like that?

Katsuki was gone for half of the Summer Break, and he came back to this .

But Kirishima wasn’t his friend, at least not officially, and asking him about anything would show the fucker that he was actually important to Katsuki and he couldn’t have that under any circumstances.

Never .

It was enough that everyone in his delusional freakshow class had realised he saw him as an equal. Nonono, them knowing he cared would go too far.

Yet still, every day that Katsuki saw new bandages on Kirishima’s wrists, he grew more and more concerned. It was fucking eating at him, churning in his stomach and running hot through his blood.

But you don’t exactly ask your rivals about their well-being, do you?

— — — — — — — — —

One hour earlier.

It was time for yet another day of boredom. Eijirou was already sitting in the community room, looking down at the coffee table and picking at a splinter. He didn’t bother to move his hair, which was covering half his face, out of the way.

He hadn’t dyed, cut or styled it for weeks. By now, it was a darker shade instead of a brighter red, wavy instead of spiky, and it was long enough to partially block his vision when it hung down onto his face.

It was the day Bakugou would be coming back from wherever he went. Eijirou had put a fuck ton of effort into mentally preparing himself for the storm about to come down on him. He was supposed to be the guy’s enthusiastic and unbeatable rival, not the shrivelled human piece of trash he was right now.

When the blond finally entered the common room, mouthing off at Deku for merely existing like he usually did, Eijirou hung his head low. Maybe he wouldn’t recognise him, maybe he could draw the inevitable disappointment that would come from his rival out a little.

He remembered how his friends had taken it. He had been home for a week, and he had returned like this. It had taken all of them a week to notice, and when Eijirou told them what had happened, they freaked out. 

Denki had immediately hit him with a million questions and failed attempts at cheering him up through Mario Kart. Sero had freaked out and pulled him into a long uncomfortable hug that made the cuts on his arms hurt. Mina had almost cried and also hugged him. She had also offered to talk about it, to send him to the guidance counsellor (which Eijirou obviously declined, he was beyond any help.) Even Izuku had tried comforting him. He had bought him lunch once and offered to talk as well.

It was kind of nice having his friends be so supportive, but Eijirou didn’t really accept any of their attempts to help. He didn’t want to. He didn’t deserve it.

Eijirou was brutally thrown off of his thought train when a familiar raspy voice sounded right next to his ears.

“Shitty Hair! What the actual fuck ?!” Bakugou growled.

Eijirou sighed. “What.” he asked, his tone as weak and apathetic as he felt.

“Why is your hair not shitty? Why the flying fuck are you sitting here picking at a fucking table?” Bakugou demanded.

Eijirou didn’t respond, he just looked up to stare Bakugou down.

“You know what? Come spar with me.” Bakugou finally said, his hands on his hips.

Eijirou lowered his head again. “No.”

Bakugou froze, for some reason, and started holes into the back of Eijirou’s head. “What the fuck?” he asked, still growling like he always did, just a little quieter.

“I said no. I don’t want to spar right now.” Eijirou mumbled.

“Did you fall on your fucking head or something? Is that why your hair isn’t shitty anymore? What the fuck?!” 

“Look, man, just leave me the hell alone.” Eijirou snapped, annoyed. “And will you please stop saying ‘fuck’ all the time?” he huffed and walked right past him, heading to his room.

It was the only place he really felt safe. Which said a lot, considering it was filled with sake, razor blades and bandages that would cover the effects of the previous two things. Eijirou didn’t want to think about how fucked up he was, though, because it meant he was just like his dad.

He’d kill himself because he was a weakling loser with no way out, just like him. If he was honest, that was exactly what Eijirou was feeling. But if he admitted that, or thought about it, it meant he’d actually do it. And that would destroy his poor mother more than his dad’s death already did.

So he didn’t think about it. He just downed two bottles of sake over the course of two hours and cried himself to sleep. Throughout it all, he managed to pretend like this was totally normal, like all teens go through this.

— — — — — — — — —

Yeah, Katsuki was going to fucking die. It was 2AM, he was in his room, completely unable to get his encounter with Kirishima out of his head.

Why was that fucker looking so damn sad? What horrible world-destroying life-changing fucking event could have happened to change him this way? What on earth could shatter the spirits of the unbreakable Kirishima Eijirou?

The thoughts weren’t letting him sleep, and as much as Katsuki would hate to even admit it’s existence, the concern was eating him alive.

Kirishima was supposed to be just a sparring partner, a punching bag, his academic equal, his temporary enemy.

Right.

—

It took three separate soul-crushing incidents to drive Katsuki over the edge. One day, he was in the kitchen making himself some karaage, when Kirishima came in and grabbed a huge bottle of sake from the fridge.

Katsuki had studied his rival like he was a subject on the final exam. Kirishima didn’t drink, at least not back when he was okay, he’d only indulge in drugs when he was stressed. 

~

“To take the edge off.” the old Kirishima, with his shitty hair, explained to Kaminari once. 

Katsuki overheard it, because he coincidentally had also decided to grab something from the fridge at the same time Kirishima did.

~

Katsuki watched him inch over to the fridge like some fucking slug, open it like it was the heaviest thing in the world (which didn’t make any fucking sense, considering Kirishima could move mountains if he wanted to), take out a bottle of sake, and then start to walk away.

“What the hell ?!” he screamed after him, abandoning the chicken frying in his pan. 

Kirishima turned around and grunted in annoyance. The fucking audacity.

“What do you want, Bakugou..?”

“Where are you going with all that sake? Are you fuckwads having a party without me again?!” Katsuki cursed.

“They’re for me.” Kirishima wrote him off, then he turned around and just left.

Katsuki followed him for a few steps, until he composed himself enough to remember he was no one’s fucking lapdog. He returned to the kitchen, having walked surprisingly far away.

His karaage were dark brown when he returned. What-fucking-ever, he liked his meat crispy and there were bigger problems at hand.

Why was Kirishima drinking entire packs of sake?

Was he actually getting drunk?

Or maybe he had lied to Katsuki and he was drinking with someone from their class, maybe a total stranger.

Why did that thought in particular make Katsuki slightly nauseous..?

He chomped down on his karaage, finishing them at what he was convinced could be a world-record speed. Then he ran upstairs to the dorms.

He stood there, in that cursed fucking hallway, for a full minute, contemplating the meaning of his miserable piece of shit life.

Fuck it.

Katsuki would never admit his actions to a single soul in the entire universe, but he snuck closer to Kirishima’s door, and then leaned against it slowly. He listened, being able to suppress the mix of anxiety and guilt it caused for a couple minutes, but he didn’t hear anything helpful.

Just a bottle clinking, then some shuffling on Kirishima’s bed, and finally a stifled sob. 

A sob. Kirishima was crying .

Katsuki was burning to know why.

—

The next incident took place when break was nearly over, when the entire class was in the dorms, done with their stupid shitty holidays, and they had all decided to go into the town.

This incident had shaken Katsuki up the most.

It started at approximately 7PM. It was a late night type of outing, at least adhering to Katsuki’s standards. Normally he would’ve told Deku and Round Cheeks to fuck off when they invited him, but Katsuki heard that asshole with the tape had convinced Kirishima to come along and, well..

“Fine.” he grumbled. “Just let me get my wallet, alright?”

“Alright!” Deku glowed. “Wow, Kacchan, I really didn’t expect you to say yes!”

“Then why did you fucking ask you damn nerd?!” Katsuki spewed, his patience running out like the timer on a bomb about to detonate.

God, how he wished he could just blast everyone and his shitty dumbass problems away.

Grabbing his wallet wasn’t really interesting, if one ignored the fact he couldn’t stop thinking about why the hell Kirishima was drinking and crying, and why the tape guy had to convince him to join a class outing.

“Alright, extras. I’m fucking here.” he loudly proclaimed as he joined the rest of his class.

“Great! That’s everyone! Let’s go!” Round Cheeks said with far too much enthusiasm.

And then they all headed to the city, like only the happiest of families, got some shitty street food and sat down at this weird fountain that stood in the middle of the pedestrian zone for some fucking reason.

Katsuki looked around, angrily chewing on his Shioyaki. All the cliques were obviously separated, everyone’s friends sitting in little groups.

Except for, of fucking course , Kirishima. He was alone on the other side of the fountain, just barely visible to Katsuki because of the damn statue of All Might in the middle of it. His friends occasionally glanced in his direction with concern plastered all over their faces, and he seemed to notice but ignore every single one of their stares.

It took Katsuki a whole forty fucking minutes of staring and thinking to finally go over to him.

When he sat down, Kirishima let out that annoyed grunt that was becoming far too familiar. “What do you need, Bakugou?”

For some stupid fucking reason, Katsuki was tempted to say some corny flirty shit like “ you.” In Kirishima’s world, that was probably funny.

“Fucking company? You’re the only dickwad in this class who doesn’t avoid me like the bubonic plague.” he settled for something in-character instead.

“What about Izuku?”

“He’s too busy trying to romance Pink Cheeks.” Katsuki said. “I’d rather shoot myself than witness that shit.”

“Well I’m not much entertainment either.” Kirishima deadpanned.

“Look.” Katsuki fought to remain annoyed and angry. “Just let me fucking sit here.”

A silence followed, a pause in conversation that was unexpectedly intense.

“Fine.”

“We don’t have to talk.” Katsuki offered.

“Mhm.”

And that was it. He and Kirishima were sitting next to each other, both consuming their respective foods. 

For the little while they had, Katsuki didn’t say anything.

He didn’t mention that Kirishima had barely even eaten his shioyaki. He didn’t make a joke about how of course he’d get himself fish with that shark look of this. He didn’t ask him if he was okay. He didn’t fucking ask if he was okay . He didn’t request the sparring match he had been wanting for days now.

How long had it been since this bullshit started anyways? Days? Weeks? Probably the latter, Katsuki thought, with how impatient and desperate he was getting.

Kirishima had become some weird need, at least the sparring matches with him had. Katsuki remembered how he had actually been real fucking excited for those when he first returned to UA.

What a load of bull.

Eventually, Katsuki’s shioyaki were gone, and he was left with nothing else to do than stare at Kirishima while he avoided eating his own.

“Oi, shitty hair.” he said after a while.

“You said we don’t need to talk..” Kirishima mumbled.

“Are you gonna eat that?” Katsuki asked, pointedly ignoring the comment.

Kirishima paused. He looked at Katsuki for a moment. For just a split second, Katsuki could see some life in those eyes. He could see gratitude, he could see the remnants of the same look Kirishima would usually wear before calling someone manly.

Katsuki liked that idea, of Kirishima proclaiming he was manly. 

“Do you want it?” Kirishima finally asked.

“Whatever. If you won’t fucking eat it I guess I can be your trash can this once.” Katsuki rolled his eyes.

Kirishima handed the shioyaki over to him, smiling weakly. Then he turned away again, looking at seemingly nothing. Katsuki failed to avert his eyes from Kirishima even once while he was eating the fish.

And then that was gone too, and Katsuki was just staring.

Kirishima’s hair was basically black now, with some strands still noticeably red. It had grown a lot too, reaching down to his shoulders. It created a really nice look that left Katsuki wondering if maybe he could cope with Kirishima’s new hairstyle. 

His eyes were red, they matched Katsuki’s own. Kirishima was the only other red-eyed person Katsuki knew. His own eyes usually reminded Katsuki of fire, when he stared at his reflection in the mirror. Kirishima’s on the other hand were like rubies, sunset rubies to be exact. They were rare, they shined bright like the sun, and they were valuable like he was.

His jaw was quite defined, his form was still very strong and muscly, as far as Katsuki could tell from the oversized t-shirt and baggy sweats. Maybe Kirishima hadn’t completely given up on himself, he certainly didn’t look all that bad.

But all of that was not what had shaken up Katsuki. It was actually quite pleasant and nice, to sit with Kirishima in an act of fucked up silent camaraderie or whatever it was.

As their entire class was sitting there in peace, there was a loud squeaking of tires and sirens in the distance. The noise sent Katsuki, Deku and his little bitch clique into alarm. Eventually, the others followed.

Katsuki was about to go and offer for Kirishima and him to check it out, but his rival was already gone. 

“What the hell..?” Katsuki mouthed beneath his breath, searching the area for Kirishima. He spotted him not too far away, running in the direction of the scene. He followed suit extremely quickly, catching up to him easily with the use of his quirk. The rest of their class ran there too, far behind the two.

Kirishima was really fast when he wanted to be, which was quite impressive considering Hardening probably made his body mass quite heavy.

It turned out there was a fucking car chase going on, at fucking 10PM. That was already quite annoying, but what really sent Katsuki into a shock..

When the villain’s van rounded up the corner into the street he and Kirishima were standing in, Katsuki noticed Kirishima hardened his entire body. And then, just as he screamed “What the fuck are you doing?” Kirishima threw himself in front of the goddamn van.

No. Fucking. Way.

Before Katsuki could even take a breath, the air was filled with smoke and there was a faint sound of a car alarm. Katsuki coughed and waved everything out of his way, running onto the street.

“Kirishima?! Kirishima!” he screamed, trying to navigate the scene. The cops were getting out of their cars now, being all fucking useless, inspecting the villain’s crashed van. 

“Eijirou!” he screamed again, so loud his voice cracked.

“ What .” An inappropriately calm, tired and annoyed voice sounded from behind him.

Katsuki turned around, inspecting the sight before him thoroughly. It was none other than Kirishima, with scars, burns and black dust all over his still hardened body, with a ripped up shirt and dirty sweats. He looked.. Interesting .

He also looked hurt . “Fuck, shit. Are you okay?!”

“What..?” Kirishima wheezed. “Why are you asking me that?”

Katsuki’s brows furrowed and his eyes widened. “Are you fucking braindead? Did you actually fucking fall on your head and suffer an aneurysm? Are you just stupid? Have you lost your goddamn mind, you flat-haired piece of shit?! ” 

Kirishima just huffed and shook his head. “I’m okay, thank you.” and he said it so accusingly, it wasn’t reassuring or good at all.

It was even less reassuring that Kirishima fainted, and Katsuki had to curse and cry at the officers to call UA’s Recovery Girl and All Might immediately.

Why the fuck isn’t a hero present, anyway? Did the world just decide to fuck with me?

Fuck.

—

The third incident was shortly after the last. Kirishima had to be hospitalised for the remaining week of break.

But he didn’t seem to care. Every fucking time Katsuki snuck a peek into his room or straight up visited him to berate him, Kirishima seemed completely apathetic to his situation, injuries and actions.

And as if that wasn’t annoying enough, on the first day of his hospitalisation, when he woke up in Recovery Girl’s office, Kirishima’s first words were:

“Oh, I’m awake.”

—

The very next morning after Kirishima had said that , at the wonderful hour of 7AM, Katsuki rushed to Kaminari’s dorm, knocking on the door like a maniac, even by his standards.

“Holy hell dude! Who the-” Sparky's annoying bitch voice came from inside the room. The door finally fucking opened, and he was greeted by a half-terrified and half-irritated look. “Bakugou.”

“Hey Sparky.” Katsuki growled.

Kaminari took a step back, eyeing him with concern. “What exactly do you want from me, bro..?”

“What the hell is up with flat hair?” Katsuki demanded.

“Flat hai- do you mean Kirishima?!” Sparky raised his eyebrows in surprise. 

“Yes, Dunce Face, I mean fucking Kirishima.” Katsuki rolled his eyes. “What the fuck happened to him?”

“What do you care..?”

“He won’t spar with me.” Katsuki lied. “He’s too busy fucking jumping in front of vans.”

“Of course. Eijirou is suffering like never before and you’re upset you can’t use him as a punching bag.” Sparky glared, forcing Katsuki to suppress the urge to choke him.

‘..suffering like never before..’

“Just fucking tell me, or I swear to god allmighty I will rip the vocal cords out of your throat and play them like a fucking guitar.”

“Can you actually do that? Wow..”

“Are you serious- For fucks sake Sparky just tell me what the hell is up with him or I-”

“It’s not my place to tell you. You can kill me and use my vocal chords as a violin or whatever, but I won’t tell you.”

So he knows what’s going on.

Katsuki was furious. Absolutely furious. He would’ve killed that bastard if it wasn’t prohibited by the law. “Are you fucking deaf? I’m not fucking asking you to tell me, damn it.”

“Bakugou can you be sensitive just this once ?? I know you despise him and have your weird anger issues, but can you please just leave Kiri alone?” Sparky sounded genuinely desperate.

Katsuki was left with no choice but to leave. Anything else would either irritate Sparky or just look suspicious. He huffed, punched the wall and then left.

‘..please just leave Kiri alone?’

He wished he could do that. He wished so badly he could just forget it all and find a new sparring partner, a new rival to measure up against. But no one was like Kirishima. No one was so unbreakable, so tough yet loving, so intense yet sweet..

Katsuki punched himself.

And in a moment of complete and utter desperation, he did something he would probably regret for aeons after this. He would berate himself until he couldn’t anymore, he would bully himself like he was a damn extra.

He knocked on a different door, his hands firmly placed in the pockets of his shorts to stop him from punching anything to death, especially himself.

“Yeah?” Deku answered his door through tired eyes. When he realised who was standing there, he stiffened and his eyes went wide. “Oh! Kacchan..?”

God, why does everyone fucking react like that?

bAkuGou?!

kAcChAN?!

As if it’s impossible for me to fucking knock on doors.

“I-” Katsuki started, but suddenly words were difficult, and he just wanted to throw himself into a dumpster instead of speak.

After a while, Deku seemed to have figured out Katsuki was having trouble talking. “Do you want to come in?” he offered, kind and soft and annoying as ever.

“Whatever.” Katsuki grumbled, but he entered the room with his head low. He breathed in deeply, still unable to believe he was actually doing this. “I didn’t really know where to go. No one will fucking tell me anything.”

Deku simply observed Katsuki. Katsuki met his eyes, trying hard to force his expression into something neutral or, ideally, annoyed.

“Do you know what the fuck happened to shitty hair?!”

“Are you talking about Eijirou?”

“Yes, you fucking nerd, who else has weird ass hair?!” Katsuki growled. “Had.” he corrected, his voice faltering so slightly he prayed Deku didn’t notice.

“Hm..” Deku mumbled something.

“What? What the hell happened?”

“Kacchan, I don’t know if I can-”

“Izuku.” Katsuki breathed shakily, clenching his fists so hard he left marks on his palm. “I need to know.”

Deku stared at him, clearly confused. Katsuki couldn’t blame him, throughout the years he had become an expert at hiding any trace of true feelings from people. 

“You two are rivals, right? Why..?” Deku started, hesitating to finish his sentence.

Why are you so desperate?

Why are you being so pathetic about it?

Why are you basically fucking begging me like a little fucking wimp bitch?

Why do you care?

“I just want to know.” Katsuki tried.

“Shouldn’t you ask him, then?” Deku replied politely.

Because then he’ll know I care. Because he’ll hear my voice cracking. Because then he’ll know.

“He wouldn’t tell me, at least I don’t think he would.” Katsuki’s voice was reduced to a weak and ashamed mumble.

“You haven’t even asked him yet?”

“Like I could fucking do that. Fuck. I don’t even fucking know why I’m here, so whatever.” Katsuki straightened himself up, turning to march out the door.

“You care.”

Katsuki’s hand was quite literally on the door handle. He removed it. It fell next to his frame. And he froze for a while. And then he turned around very slowly.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?”

“Kacchan..” Deku sighed. “You care.”

Katsuki had numerous options. He could’ve ran right out the door, he could’ve fucking murdered Deku, he could’ve tried to deny it (not really, Deku miraculously knew all about how Katsuki hid his emotions) or he could hope he would just faint.

Katsuki had one option.

“No.” he denied it hopelessly. He wasn’t even sure he could fully admit it to him fucking self.

“Katsuki.” Deku’s face formed a frown, so concerned and genuine Katsuki had to ask himself why Deku of all people was showing him empathy. “You care.”

“I don’t. I fucking don’t. Shut the hell up.” Katsuki’s fist clenched.

“You care.”

“I just said I fucking don’t !”

“You care..”

“I will rip you the fuck apart!”

“You care…”

“ Yes .” Katsuki cried. “Yes I fucking do.” tears ran down his face and he turned away toward the door, shaking his head.

Not in front of the goddamn nerd.

No.

“Will you tell me now? Now that I’ve actually fucking said it and everything fucking sucks?!” he choked back the rest of his tears.

“Kacchan I’m so sorry.. None of us had any idea..” Deku started, until he finally let out a heavy and distressed sigh. “But I can’t tell you. It’s not my place.”

“For fuck’s sake.” Katsuki’s voice broke completely. He sniffled, nodded, then finally just left. 

— — — — — — — — —

Eijirou was tired. He was so damn tired, fainting had felt really nice. But then came the part of waking up, which he had not enjoyed at all.

He opened his eyes a little. The room was bright. He recognised it as Recovery Girl’s office. He had been here several times after sparring with Izuku, Denki and mostly Bakugou. He was met with Aizawa-sensei in the back, talking to Recovery Girl, and surprisingly enough a stressed Bakugou.

Eijirou didn’t open his eyes fully for a moment, just to watch Bakugou pace around the room a little. He tried to identify whether the blond’s stress was real or if he was just angry. With Bakugou, the difference between the two was very small.

Only when he did open his eyes fully, and it occurred to him that this was real and he was still living.

“Oh, I’m awake.” he blurted.

He hated himself for this, but the realisation of still being alive troubled him. He realised, then, that he hadn’t jumped in front of the van to help catch a villain. He had done it in hopes it’d kill him. 

He wouldn’t call it an actual attempt, especially considering he had used his Hardening before he jumped, but it was dangerously close. 

Fuck my life.

Bakugou turned to face him. 

“No shit you’re awake.” he said in a strangely emotional manner. His eyes were unusually wide and his eyebrows looked weird. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked, voice weak and trembling a little.

Bakugou huffed, shut his eyes and shook his head, and when he looked at Eijirou again his expression was right back to normal. “You really are so fucking stupid.”

Eijirou shot him a half-assed glare. “Thanks.”

“You little bitchboy maniac jumped in front of a van, remember? Right before my fucking eyes too.” Bakugou grumbled.

“Can you get off my case, please ?” Eijirou snapped. “Are you incapable of letting me live and do my thing for once?!”

“What the hell do you mean, your thing ? This isn’t you , fuckwad, and you know that damn well.”

“Yeah? What if it is now?”

Bakugou paused, as if he hadn’t even considered that. 

Eijirou just scoffed, he was too high on meds to even try to understand what was going on in his rival’s mind.

“So what, you’re just gonna be a deflated fucking air balloon forever?!” Bakugou growled with an amount of fury Eijirou hadn’t expected.

“What’s it to you?”

“Idiot.” Bakugou flailed his fist around and stormed out of the room.

— — — — — — — — —

‘This isn’t you.’

‘What if it is now?’

Katsuki wasn’t sure if it was quiet or not, but the word ‘No.’ kept repeating itself in his mind at ungodly speeds.

He stormed out of the nurse’s office, through the hallways of UA, until he reached the training grounds. He’d probably get in trouble for this later, but in that moment he couldn’t muster a single fuck to give.

Conveniently, the course set up was a mildly damaged set of rocks, a forest and cliffs. For the next hour and a half, Katsuki went to town on it, cursing Kirishima’s name under his breath with every rock he destroyed.

When he was done, he noticed Aizawa-sensei in the corner, looking at him with a blank expression. Katsuki approached him, arms partially scarred and burned from his tantrum.

“I would be angry,” Aizawa started, “if this wasn’t the hardest I’ve ever seen you train, Bakugou. And during your summer break, too..”

“What can I say? I have a fuck ton of energy.”

“We’ll have to take you to Recovery Girl.” Aizawa replied blankly. He pointed upward, to a window in the UA building.

Katsuki suddenly realised the training grounds were in view of Recovery Girl’s office (which sick fucking sadist had thought of that?!). He squinted a little, and surely enough, it looked like a black-and-red-haired fuck had been watching him.

Damn it.

—

Katsuki’s suffering would never fucking end. Of course, he was placed in the bed next to Kirishima.

For one silly moment, he questioned if Aizawa-sensei had done this on purpose. But that was preposterous, hopefully.

“What the hell was that..?” Kirishima asked after a while. It sounded like he had blurted it out, like he just couldn’t help but ask that dumbass question.

“Lost my punching bag.” Katsuki grumbled, tugging at the bandages on his arms. They covered his upper and lower arms, basically the entire limb. He had really pushed himself to the limit, just like Kirishima was pushing him.

Even without any sparring, the flat-haired bastard managed to be the only fucking way Katsuki made any noteworthy progress.

“Right.” Kirishima sighed.

There was silence for a blissful while.

“Bakugou, can I ask you why we used to spar so often?”

Katsuki turned his head toward Kirishima very, very , slowly. “Are. You. Fucking. Stupid?”

Kirishima glared at him again.

Oh my fucking God.

“Are you mentally incapacitated? Are you a slow fucking thinker?” Katsuki shouted. “Are you a thinker at all?!”

“I meant it. I’ve wanted to ask you for a while.” Kirishima responded quietly.

Katsuki looked at him. His eyes were focused on his hands, his was fiddling with his partially bandaged fingers and his eyebrows were furrowed like he was angry.

Fuck. I’ve upset him. Fuck.

Why do I care so goddamn much? FUCK.

“Sorry.” Katsuki said, straining because it is really hard to say.

Kirishima knew that about him, and so his reaction was appropriately shocked. He froze completely, his hands coming to a still, and he gaped at Katsuki with wide ruby eyes. “What?” he eventually huffed.

“..I’m sorry.” Katsuki repeated again, and for fucks sake, he had never apologised to anyone ever before.

“I..” Kirishima sounded baffled. “It’s okay.”

Katsuki doesn’t say anything for a while. Talking is suddenly the most difficult thing in the world. It’s like his tongue is wrapped in sandpaper that grates against his mouth painfully as a punishment for every word.

Yet still. He spoke. Because he and Kirishima haven’t talked like this in a while (not that they usually did.)

“You’re my equal.” Katsuki confessed.

Kirishima laughed angrily. “Wow. Just fucking wow .”

“What the hell, shark face?! I fucking meant it!”

“Sure. I, Kirishima Eijirou, am Bakugou Katsuki’s one and only equal . The kid with a lame ass hardening quirk is equal to the literal future king of Japan.” Kirishima started ranting angrily. 

Katsuki was stunned, he could only stare at him, and at those damn eyes. 

“It just makes so much sense that a little mountain is equal to the fucking meteor that brings it down. Of course! I, Kirishima Eijirou, am equal to goddamn Bakugou Katsuki, the very best of our class.”

“Best?..” Katsuki winced.

“Yes. There, I said it, you won. The best .” Kirishima looked like he could cry.

A fucked up part of Katsuki wished he did, because it would mean Kirishima could cry in his presence. “Kirishima..”

“What? Would you like to rub it in? How many times are you gonna throw the fact that my quirk pales in comparison to literally everyone else’s into my face?!” Kirishima’s voice became louder. He was screaming instead of crying. Loud to avoid emotion, like Katsuki always did.

“Kirishima, I-”

“No, you know what? I’m so done with this. I’m done with existing at this school as the goddamn underdog, I’m done always losing to you!”

It was objectively true, Katsuki won almost all of their matches. It had always confused him, because Kirishima had always been much stronger than him, especially with his amazing fucking quirk that was made to withstand his.

Now he knew why Kirishima lost. It was because the dumbass was insecure. Because he was fucking blind to his own greatness. Because he was a stupid fucking dumbass.

“Eijirou.”

“What?! What could possibly be so important that you’ve graced me with my first name?” 

“You’re really dumb.”

Seriously, how the hell do you not know what pretty much everyone else in 1-A does?

“I swear t-”

“ You’re the best in our class, Eijirou. You’re stronger than me.”

It was a concession. The first name, the honesty, the way Katsuki’s tone wasn’t croaky or loud or growling. It was Katsuki giving up a wall he had worked hard to build the second he laid eyes on Eijirou.

“Can you please stop-”

“I fucking mean it!” Katsuki insisted. “Do you wanna know why you lose?”

Eijirou nodded slowly and carefully.

“Because you doubt yourself." Katsuki had to stop to inhale a fuck ton of air. He summoned all his courage. “Look, Eijirou, your quirk is my favourite out of everyone I’ve ever met, including myself. You’re a really good fighter, a damn good person and annoyingly overpowered too.”

Eijirou choked on his own breath. 

Katsuki could see his eyes watering. “Don’t fucking cry..” he sighed, wishing he could will his bed closer to Eijirou and wipe those tears off of his face.

“No, no. This is good.” Eijirou sniffled, rubbing his left eye a little. “It’s just.. This is the first time anyone’s been honest to me in weeks.”

Katsuki watched him crumble, and his heart began to hurt. There was a sting inside his chest, like the touch of an unforgiving knife against his heart, just waiting to slice through it and destroy him.

“And I’ve been so so fucking sad..” Eijirou finally really cried, in front of Katsuki, burying his face in his hands. Eventually, he laughed through his tears and looked up at the ceiling. “Why am I even telling you this?”

“What happened?” Katsuki’s voice went softer than he had ever heard it before. This was it. This was the moment he was waiting for, when he’d finally know what he had been itching to know. 

“My dad killed himself at the start of summer.” Eijirou said, his tone was surprisingly cold for what he was saying. “He was probably my best friend. He taught me what it meant to be manly, showed me love, told me my quirk wasn’t useless. He made me who I was.”

“Who you are .” Katsuki corrected. “We’re gonna get you back on your feet.”

Eijirou stared at him as if he had just suggested buying some exotic fish and sticking it in Deku’s toilet. 

“When you’re let out of here, I’m gonna help you dye back your shitty hair. The black is fucking depressing.”

Eijirou sighed. “Why are you doing this? Wasn’t it your life’s mission to berate me and show me you could beat me?”

“Exactly.” Katsuki grinned and just jumped out of his bed, because fuck it. He came closer to where Eijirou was laying. “How am I gonna properly beat your ass if you’re being bitchy about your dad?”

There wasn’t any venom to it. Thankfully, Eijirou had always been able to decipher Katsuki’s insults for the little truths and confessions he hid beneath them. He rolled his eyes anyway.

“And when all of this is done, we can be rivals again.” he said firmly. “Deal?”

“Deal.” Eijirou said, and he smiled with his stupid fucking teeth, and oh God..

It was the same grin he used to wear all the time. The real Eijirou, the unwavering force of nature, was right there, in front of Katsuki, alone with Katsuki.

For someone who had insisted numerous times that “he’d fight Satan to never see his shit-eating grin ever again” , Katsuki really liked those teeth.

— — — — — — — — —

Bakugou was released from Recovery Girl’s services only a few hours after his injury.

Eijirou smiled. He had been really nice to him, especially for Bakugou. And at least in his case, Eijirou knew that his kindness wasn’t an act of pity or guilt. It was real, as real as the tears and voice cracks they had both shared.

And still, Bakugou was his rival.

‘And when all of this is done, we can be rivals again. Deal?’

As sweet and endearing as it all was, it was only temporary.

It didn’t matter that it left an unfamiliar and new warmth deep inside Eijirou’s heart, it didn’t matter that one honest conversation with Bakugou had made him happier than anything else since..

It just didn’t matter. But maybe that was okay. Hell, maybe Eijirou wouldn’t even be around long enough for him and Bakugou to go back to being rivals.

—

Another week had gone by before he could go to school. Conveniently, Recovery Girl had healed all of the scars on his arms, leaving room for plenty more. She had given him bandages as well, as if she had known what would inevitably happen, and so he had something new to cover them with.

When Eijirou finally entered the 1-A classroom in his wrinkled school uniform, his hair still black and minimally dark red, he was greeted with a steady force of glee and happiness.

“Now we’re all starting our second year!” Mina exclaimed happily.

“I missed you so much, bro!” Denki said, almost in tears, hugging him. Eijirou chuckled shyly and hugged him back.

While he and his best friend were embracing each other, Eijirou briefly opened his eyes to find none other than Katsuki Bakugou eyeing him with some emotion he couldn’t really read through the scowl that hid it.

Hm.

“We’re glad to have you back in the classroom.” Aizawa-sensei said, staring down at Eijirou with a strange sense of glee in his face.

Eijirou didn’t understand why everyone was so happy to see him, why they were acting like he was even significant to the class, but it felt kind of nice. 

Perhaps Bakugou also missed him. Perhaps he could be missed by someone. Eijirou sat down, feeling the tiniest spark of glee contest all the sadness and anger inside him.

— — — — — — — — —

Katsuki wasn’t waiting for the day to end so he could finally walz into Eijirou’s dorm with his freshly purchased hair dye. He fucking wasn’t.

Maybe just a tiny little bit.

When Ectoplasm finally let everyone the fuck out, he grabbed onto Eijirou’s arm and lead him away from everybody so fast no one even had the chance to attempt to talk to him. Eijirou was understandably startled by this, but Katsuki couldn’t have cared less. He had shitty hair to dye.

“Alright..” Eijirou wheezed as he was being pulled away.

From behind them, Katsuki could hear a confused “What in the actual hell?!” coming from Sparky. He grinned. They rushed down the corridors, through the streets until they finally got to the dormitories. 

“Oh, I forgot!” Eijirou suddenly laughed. “You insisted I dye my hair back.”

“Alright hold the fuck up. I didn’t insist on shit.” Katsuki protested.

Eijirou laughed again. “Yes you did.”

“No, I fucking didn’t. Now come the fuck on, I’m on a tight schedule.” Katsuki grumbled, impatiently waiting for Eijirou to open his dorm room. He didn’t mention the fact that he was questioning whether Eijirou’s laugh was real.

The lock finally clicked, but then, just as Katsuki was about to head inside, Eijirou blocked him off. His arm was hardened. “Wait.” he winced.

Katsuki stopped in his tracks, taken completely by surprise. “The fuck?”

“I need to clean it first- my room’s a mess-” Eijirou laughed nervously.

That one definitely wasn’t real. Katsuki simply grunted, pushed him out of the way while he was still thinking up some excuses, and then gazed at the absolute disaster he found himself in the middle of.

“Hm.” he mumbled.

He noticed several things. Razor blades in the trash can beneath the desk Eijirou was supposed to use for studying. Bloody bandages, fresh bandages, patches and disinfectant on top of the desk that was meant for fucking studying. 

It all made Katsuki a little nauseous, because Eijirou must’ve been in so much pain..

His punching bag, which Katsuki knew about through occasional peeking into the room, was gone. Half the posters were gone. There were empty cardboard boxes in the corner for some reason, filled with Eijirou's old things. 

The bed clearly hadn’t been made in a while, the floor was covered in all kinds of trash; food packaging, plastic knives (one was fucking bloody, holy shit) and dust. The closet was half open and Eijirou’s clothes, including the ones he used to wear, were scattered on the floor in front of it. It really was a mess, a mess that told a story.

“We’ll get this shithole cleaned after we’re done making your hair normal.” Katsuki said.

Eijirou, who had been shaking, nodded and forced his lips into a smile. “Thought you said my hair was shitty. Or was it crazy? Stupid?”

“Oh shut the fuck up.” Katsuki growled.

“You’re such a hypocrite.” Eijirou giggled. He sat down on a chair in the bathroom, pushing an empty pack of toothpaste off of it. At least he was still brushing his teeth.

Katsuki didn’t answer the jab at him, he just grabbed the dye from his backpack, threw his blazer and backpack into the only clean space in the bathroom; the bathtub. The process of bleaching and dyeing one’s hair was far more complicated than Katsuki had expected, especially with hair as long as Kirishima’s was.

The process was long, tiring, and fun as hell.

“You’re gonna rip my hair out if you keep tugging at it-” Eijirou said, still giggling from some previous dumbass joke he made. He giggled even harder, like a schoolgirl.

Cute.

“It’s just so fucking long! What the hell is wrong with you, you couldn’t have fucking cut it a little?!” Katsuki rolled his eyes.

“Actually…” Eijirou said thoughtfully. “I think I might keep it long.” 

“Alright, but I’m shaving your beard.” Katsuki insisted.

“You’re so committed, Bakubro!” Eijirou giggled again. This time the words were a little slurred, almost careless. It was almost like he was drunk. 

Katsuki froze and looked around. Right . There were sake bottles on the bathroom floor. Was Eijirou drunk..? 

He regained his composure before Eijirou could really notice. He wasn’t going to interrogate the guy, no fucking way. Not even Satan and the fifty fucking archdevils or whatever could convince him to do that. From what he could tell in class, Eijirou had been interrogated enough already.

“Almost done with this side.” he hummed.

“Yaay..” Eijirou huffed with mock enthusiasm, a sloppy smile still on his face. 

“Oh fuck you, I’m investing my time in this, y’know.” Katsuki complained. He dug his fingers into Eijirou’s surprisingly soft hair again, putting more red over the blond that coloured it entirely an hour ago.

They had been there for three hours or so already.

“Three fucking hours..” Katsuki mumbled to himself.

“Thought you had a tight schedule.” Eijirou teased, looking at Katsuki through the bathroom mirror. 

Katsuki glared back at him, which was response enough. “ Whatever. ” he stressed it nonetheless.

Another thirty minutes went by, which was the time it took to fully cover Eijirou’s massive head of hair in the red dye. 

“Maybe we could spar again.” Eijirou suddenly suggested.

Katsuki’s eyes blew wide, his fingers sparked in excitement, his chest felt unnaturally warm. “What?” he asked, surprised.

“A sparring match? Between you and me?” Eijirou raised an eyebrow. He got up from his chair, leaning forward to inspect Katsuki. 

He got incredibly close, red eyes staring at their equal. “You remember what those are?”

“Of course I fucking- fuck you. ” Katsuki spat, taking a step back and crashing against the wall. Eijirou followed him, his arms crossed, his face all up in Katsuki’s yet again .

Is my heart beating faster?

“Are you okay, Bakubro? You look nervous.” Eijirou laughed.

It was clear the little shithead was just doing it to make fun of Katsuki but Katsuki didn’t want him to stop. He wanted them to stay this close, so he could look at Eijirou forever.

That was until he smelled the alcohol on Eijirou’s breath.

His face twisted into something uncomfortable, as displeasing as the thought of Eijirou having to drink to enjoy their time together. And if that wasn't fuckin enough, Eijirou definitely noticed something was up now. 

"You’ve been drinking.” Katsuki grumbled. There went his plan to avoid an interrogation.

Eijirou’s face went pale at that, he had seemingly forgotten. He took a step back, suddenly re-learning the meaning of shame. Katsuki was burning with anger, but he didn’t know why. It wasn’t the default anger he had at the world, it was at fucking Eijirou.

“What the fuck, Kirishima?” he snapped, not too loud yet.

“Oh, so now we’re back to last names?” Eijirou snarled, lashing out.

“No, you idiotic little shark fuck! But you’re fucking drunk!” 

“And what’s the problem with that?!”

“That the only time you can fucking laugh is when you drink? That you’re sad, self-loathing and wasting your fucking potential?!” Katsuki was screaming again, so loud someone outside might’ve even heard it.

Eijirou just laughed at him. It wasn’t just humourless or angry, it was bitter, it was disgusted. It was the laugh of a man who wanted to kick Katsuki's ass, and could. “Scream all you want Bakugou, the voices in my head are louder.”

The voices-?

“Get out.” Eijirou sniffled, his voice suddenly so much quieter .

Katsuki couldn’t fucking keep up. It was like Eijirou was going through every conceivable emotion at once. But then again, drugs will often do that to you. Before he knew it, he was outside of the dorm, his backpack loose around one arm, feeling strangely heartbroken.

What’s wrong with me?

Katsuki grumbled throughout his entire trip to his own dorm. He didn’t live too far from the shithead, so his moping continued inside it as well. It continued into the night, so much that Katsuki couldn’t sleep for hours.

‘...the voices in my head are louder.’

Just how much suffering was Eijirou going through? And most important of all, how could Katsuki help ? How could he possibly fix this? Was that possible?

— 

The next day, Eijirou almost came late to class. Katsuki peeked under his sleeves. 

The bandages were whiter than yesterday. They were new. As he expected. 

Holy fuck.. 

Nausea crept at Katsuki again, and it was really fucking annoying because he still hadn't figured out why the hell he always reacted this intensely.

"Hey, Kacchan?" Deku's squeaky bitch voice attacked from behind him. "You've got a red strand." 

"What..?" Katsuki sighed. It was too early in the morning for this shit, and he was too preoccupied with Eijirou's bullshit to deal with Deku. 

But the realisation came fast enough. 

'..a red strand.'

In absolute horror, Katsuki reached for his phone in his bag, and tapped the mirror app. 

Deku was right. He had a red strand of hair, and it actually looked really good with his eyes, and it looked like it was on purpose. 

"Eijirou's also got red hair.." Deku continued, voice becoming even higher pitched as he treaded carefully, rightfully so.

Katsuki had to hold back from decapitating him with a Howitzer blast. "If you're fucking implying anything, you damned nerd, I will rip out your spine and stuff it up your ass." 

"Okay, okay!" Deku squeaked.

Sparky and Raccoon Eyes were much braver than him. 

"Eijirou? Why's your hair red again?" the alien chick asked, as sweet as tooth-rotting candy. 

"Dyed it." Eijirou replied blankly. 

That hurt, for presumably another stupid fucking reason that was unclear to Katsuki. 

Admit that you were with me. 

Say my name.

"And why is Blasty's hair red?" Sparky asked, earning a death stare and a warning fist in the air from Katsuki. 

"He got some of the dye on it." Eijirou said casually. 

Katsuki's heart skipped a beat, relief?, joy? , but before he could really process or say anything, Eijirou's entire friend group and more were circled around his desk. 

Katsuki couldn't even fucking attribute all the comments and questions to the extras they were coming from.

"What?! You dyed your hair with him?!" 

"How the hell did you avoid getting murdered?" 

"That's actually really cute!!" 

“How nice of him, wow!”

"Why are you matching with your rival ?" 

"What is happening?!" 

“This reminds me of this story I read on Wattpad..”

Katsuki placed his fist on the table, little sparks and explosions coming from it. "Shut. The. FUCK. UP." 

Everyone fell silent, thankfully. 

Katsuki took a deep breath and waited for Aizawa-sensei to finally come in. "Why's that sleepy fucker always late, anyway?" he complained to himself.

"Would you like to say anything, Bakugo?" Ereaserhead's terrifyingly numb voice called out. Katsuki's head shot in its direction. 

"No, sensei." Katsuki grumbled. 

Who does that lazy shit think he even i-

Eijirou laughed at that. He snickered under his breath. He had to suppress it, and it was real, Katsuki could tell. He shot a glare his way, but it didn't phase him. 

Katsuki didn't mind the awful start to his day anymore.

—

"I will forever hate maths." Eijirou complained under his breath. 

Mathematics with Ectoplasm had just ended, and as usual Katsuki had no problems understanding it while Eijirou did. 

He was always surprised Eijirou even had any issues with it. He would've bet his damn heart on the black market on the fact the bastard was smarter than him.  

His complaining came again, silent and muttered under his breath as he packed, clearly only meant for Eijirou himself.

Katsuki heard it anyway. Katsuki was listening. "I can tutor you, since you clearly fucking need it." 

Eijirou stopped for a second and looked at Katsuki in confusion, until he understood. "Why did I agree to sit next to you..?" he groaned. 

"Because I'm the only person in this fucking shitshow that can help you?" Katsuki supplied.

It was an offer to ignore last night and continue on with the help. Katsuki prayed Eijirou would let him continue helping. 

"Right, because ironically the solution to all my fucking problems is being coddled by my rival." 

Katsuki's explosions went off, uncontrolled, in his hands. He had an outburst out of nowhere. "I'm not fucking coddling you you braindead walrus." 

Eijirou chuckled weakly, Katsuki could tell his throat was hurting a little. "Are you just gonna compare me to every sea animal in the book? Sharks, walruses.." 

"Maybe." Katsuki snarled. "Listen, you shit, how about we do something together so you don't drink your fucking feelings again?"

Why did I mention that? Fuck. Why?!?  

"Bakugo, keep your voice down." Eijirou replied nervously. He looked around, the tension in his shoulders only releasing when he saw none of the students that were still packing up heard. "Sure, let's." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." Eijirou smiled too widely. 

Stop fucking doing that, Katsuki wanted to say, smile at me when it's real.

That was really sappy though, so he stuffed it into one of the dark and unused corners of his mind. 

"I'll help you do your homework." Katsuki declared as they walked back to the dormitory together. "But after we clean your room, of course." 

"Are you sure you want to clean my room? I mean it's not exactly normal ." Eijirou said, the insecurity plastered onto his face as blatantly as every other emotion used to be. 

"I couldn't give less of a fuck, you half-witted orca." Katsuki retaliated. "Having a clean space with good Feng Shui is gonna be fucking good for you." 

"Fen what ?" 

"You can't be fucking serious." Katsuki groaned. "It's an ancient Chinese art that tells you how to decorate your room to make you happier. It’s all about how the energy flows through a room."

"Sounds nice and calming. Like Zen." 

"Yeah." 

"And not at all like you." Eijirou added, looking only slightly apologetic when he giggled. 

That one was real again. Katsuki smiled before he could stop himself. 

Eijirou's eyes widened in reaction but he didn't comment on it, wisely enough. He grabbed his keys from his pocket and opened the door. 

Katsuki strolled in first right past him, as usual, finally managing to wipe the emotional fucking smile off of his face. "First thing that needs to go are the fucking razors." 

Eijirou's breath caught, and Katsuki shook his head. "I mean the old ones. I'm not fucking dumb, you're smart enough to improvise a new blade." 

Eijirou released a deep breath, the air coming out of his mouth with a slight quiver. "I'm gonna grab a hair tie from the bathroom." 

"Sure." Katsuki said, already filling the one usable trashbag the room with the razors and used bandages. He could bring it all to Recovery Girl later, she'd probably be grateful he's making sure they're getting recycled somehow. 

"Eijirou?" he called out. 

Eijirou stuck his head outside the door, his shirt suddenly fucking gone, his arms raised behind his head, putting his hair up. 

Katsuki didn't look. He fucking didn't. 

He made steady eye contact and never once let his eyes wander down to that little bit of exposed chest next to the door frame. 

"Don't drink." he rasped, his voice cracking a subtle amount. 

Eijirou didn't seem to notice, he just grumbled and then disappeared. 

He came out a minute later in brand new clothes that didn't smell like alcohol and trash, hair in a high ponytail. It messed with Katsuki's brain when he showed it to him. 

"That looks.." Katsuki started before he could help himself, "..manly."

Something inside Eijirou genuinely lit up for a tiny moment. He smiled brightly, giving his ponytail a proud tap. 

"Grab the food packaging and put it in the bag over there." Katsuki ordered, pointing toward the only other usable trash bag in the room using his head. 

Eijirou obeyed and did what he's told, so they were done with the entire endeavour (heh) after only twenty minutes.

The rest of the time was spent in Eijirou's room, mercilessly repeating equations until he understood the logical reasoning behind them. 

As Katsuki had predicted, Eijirou caught on quite quickly once Katsuki explained them in his weird personal language. He was really smart after all. 

Perhaps it would do him some good to fucking know it, Katsuki figured. 

"Eijirou." he said, while Eijirou was working on an equation on his own. 

"Yeah?" 

"You're really smart." 

Eijirou squinted, dropped his pen and turned to look at him. "Okay?.." 

"I just think you should fucking know it is all, stop gaping at me with your stupid walrus face." Katsuki cursed. 

That one was fucking terrible.

He wished he could give Eijirou a compliment without freaking out and reverting right back to insults. He really, really , did.. 

"Thanks." Eijirou huffed after a while. He didn’t believe him. "You're getting really creative." he added with a grin. 

"You're really really fucking smart, you dumbass. Do you hear me?!" 

"Those two statements are contradictory, Bakubro." 

"For fucks sake- Listen. You're fucking smart as fuck." 

Eijirou paused again and only then was the reaction real. "Thanks, man." 

The next few moments were silent. 

"You know, it's cool how honest you can be when you want to.." Eijirou talked over his pen and paper. Katsuki still heard it loud and clear, his eyes still instantly fixated on Eijirou. 

"It's really manly." 

Katsuki thought he saw God for a second. 

—

The next few days went so well . He and Eijirou studied. Katsuki made sure to keep tabs on how much he drank, and it wasn't even that much this week. Eijirou occasionally styled his hair into the shitty spikes again. One day, his uniform stopped being wrinkly. 

And of course, their overdue sparring match came up one day, too. 

Katsuki assumed Eijirou was gonna be a little out of practice, so that his armour was gonna be easier to penetrate.

They were in the gym, alone. The second they started, Katsuki launched himself right at Eijirou. He was immediately proven wrong in all his previous expectations. 

Eijirou didn't even activate his Hardening. He just ducked. He stepped off of their fucking starting mat and watched as Katsuki had to stop himself from flying into the wall. 

"What the actual flying everloving fuck , Eijirou?!" Katsuki growl-screamed, his arms flailing in the air as he exploded the air around him to release the anger. 

Eijirou laughed. "Remember when you told me I was smart?" 

Katsuki walked all the way back to the mat. "Course I fucking do." 

"Got me thinking, maybe I should be smarter about my fighting." Eijirou grinned, and paired with the fact he had his hair up in spikes that day, it looked just like him. "Like you." 

'Like you.'

You want to be like me ? 

Idiot. 

"Interesting. So I'll assume I can go all out?" Katsuki smirked.

"If you don't, I'll go back to hating you." Eijirou joked, not realising how it teared at Katsuki's heart strings, building them into a damn harp and playing a calming symphony. 

'I'll go back to hating you' 

You don't hate me. 

I don't hate you, either. 

Katsuki shook his head, and he launched himself forward again, this time into the air. He came down with his explosions, so that Eijirou didn't have a choice but to harden. 

His opponent did as predicted, but he also moved out of the way before Katsuki could try and do more damage. 

Suddenly, there was a sharp object clashing against Katsuki's back and he was falling forward, detonating an explosion to keep himself steady.

He twirled around in the air using the momentum he could give himself with his quirk, blasting Eijirou's arm away before he could go in for another hit. 

Eijirou simply smiled at him, bearing his shark teeth. There wasn't even a single trace of grey on his arm. He was invincible. 

Katsuki actually had to take a deep breath. Eijirou was just so damn majestic, Katsuki wished he could drink his aura until he got wasted on it, until he's had enough.

He probably never would.. 

No, Katsuki would have Eijirou as long as he would have him.

No matter how hard Katsuki hit him in their next few matches, not a single dent was left in the new and strong version of Eijirou. Katsuki kept losing, as he should always have, because he didn't have the stamina needed to break through Eijirou. 

"Are you really giving it your all?" Eijirou asked. The fucker had gotten surprised every single time he won. 

Katsuki started getting frustrated. "Of course I fucking am! What, do you think I'd lie to you?" 

"No.. Maybe you're just hesitating because I'm all, y'know ."

"You discount fucking megalodon." Katsuki said, annoyed. "I'm not fucking lying. I'm giving it my all." 

"But I won.." Eijirou mumbled, looking seriously thoughtful. 

Katsuki stared at him for a while, patiently waiting until the smartass figured it the fuck out. 

"Is my Hardening stronger than your Explosion?" Eijirou asked with great fucking surprise. 

" You are stronger than me." Katsuki said, as grumpy as he could. Not fondly. Definitely not fucking fondly. 

Eijirou smiled widely. "Am I? God, you've gotta train more!" his tone got excited, his entire body starting jolting and moving around with the same energy it used to. "We could test the limits of our quirks! Can you imagine what we could achieve together?!" 

Katsuki fucking smiled, because he just couldn't help himself from being fucking soft. "Sky's the limit." he huffed, watching as Eijirou did mental backflips.

There you are.

"Bro, I gotta tell the others! Shit, I haven't hung out with them for a while! Could we cut this short? I gotta go embarrass you." Eijirou said excitedly. 

"Of course, fuckwad." Katsuki said. "You're more than welcome to reunite with your loser friends." 

Eijirou nodded, bowed , then went to grab his stuff. "Maybe one day you could join us!" he shouted as he headed out. 

Katsuki was left standing there, once again convinced he just saw God. 

He wasn’t even fucking religious.

—

“Alright, sharkie. Listen the fuck up.” Katsuki paced around the still destroyed training grounds. Aizawa-sensei had allowed them to use them that afternoon. 

He had spent the day in-between this and their last sparring session researching Eijirou’s quirk, similar types of quirks, and every single thing he could possibly know that could help.

“Sharkie.” Eijirou repeated, giggling.

“We’ve gotta start hitting each other with all that we’ve got, otherwise this shit won’t work. Clearly you win in hand-to-hand sparring.”

Eijirou nodded.

“But you’re still not giving it your all.” Katsuki stated. “I did some research. You’ve got a transformation type quirk, you probably know this.”

“Yeah!” Eijirou responded proudly, he placed his hands on his hips and took on a superhero-type pose.

Katsuki fought to remain authoritative and teacher-like. “That means your diet affects it, how much sports you do affects it, and how much you use it. Did you know that transformation quirk users are way more prone to quirk exhaustion than all the other ones? I think Hardening could really fuck you up if you overdid it.”

“Yeah, I know.” Eijirou said, sounding a little too sure.

Katsuki squinted. “The fuck do you mean, you know ?”

“Uh..” Eijirou smiled shyly. “When I jumped in front of the van, that was the most severe transformation I had ever undergone. Most of my injuries and fatigue were from quirk exhaustion, according to Recovery Girl.”

Katsuki grumbled. “If you ever pull shit like that again I’ll fucking kill you myself.”

“Aww, Bakubro!” Eijirou chuckled. “Is that how you express affection? Death threats?”

I express everything in death threats.

“Whatever. My point is, you decide how much you harden, where and when.”

“Yeah.”

“You can really utilise that, Eijirou.”

“I know! If I harden my entire body, I can withstand a lot of different stuff. I was shot once.” Eijirou said it like it was nothing.

“ Fucking hell . I mean in little ways. Your limbs get stronger when you harden them, yes?” 

“Yeah!” Eijirou fucking hopped in the air.

“So use that. One of your main weaknesses is your slowness. You can harden your legs to be faster, train so that you can carry the weight and achieve new speeds. Or you could simply use gravity to gain momentum.” Katsuki shrugged.

Eijirou squinted in confusion. “Use.. gravity..? Isn’t that Uraraka’s thing?”

“I’m gonna fucking kill you. Alright, I’ll show you. Come here.” Katsuki waved an arm in the air.

Eijirou approached him, his face all intrigued like he was a wondrous child. Katsuki grabbed his waist and carefully tipped him forward. Eijirou, in surprise, latched onto Katsuki’s arm.

Katsuki once again fought to remain composed. I’m doing this to help him.

“See, when you did that dodging manoeuvre on me, I almost had you ‘cause I’m fast.”

“Mhm..” Eijirou mumbled, his lips quivering while he hovered in Katsuki’s grasp. He let Katsuki’s arm go, his own arms failing around before him. 

Katsuki was tipping him forward, with Eijirou’s back toward himself. Katsuki’s hands wandered up Eijirou’s waist, just below his arms.

“Harden your, uh, left arm.” Katsuki mumbled, voice weak and fucking hesitant all of a sudden. 

“Okay..” Eijirou sounded a little breathless. He did as asked.

“You feel that? Your bodily mass increases, which means you’re being pulled in that direction.” Katsuki explained. He straightened Eijirou up, man-handling him so that his upper body was leaned slightly to the left. Now his hands were on his arms.

Katsuki fought the urge to move them around, to explore the skin on Eijirou’s hardened and unhardened arm.

“So.. I can move faster with my quirk?” Eijirou experimentally tipped to the side, so much that Katsuki had to quickly move his hand to his lower back to keep him from falling.

“You just have to use gravity smartly , yes.” Katsuki replied. “And you should focus more on training your endurance , not your strength, so you can use your quirk more often.”

“Right..” Eijirou nodded slowly, steadying himself on the floor, then turning toward Katsuki. 

Suddenly, they were in a position where Katsuki’s hands were on his arms and back, like he was about to pull him closer.

“Seriously, why the fuck do you focus on strength so much when you work out?” Katsuki asked accusingly while he hesitantly removed his hands from Eijirou.

“Uh.” Eijirou let out a very breathy chuckle. “Why do you know my workout routine?”

Katsuki panicked before remembering that he had a good reason to. Eijirou used to be his rival, after all. “Had to. I studied you so I could beat you.” he shrugged.

“Right.” Eijirou nodded. “So I just have to use my weight in my favour, huh?”

“Yeah.” Katsuki cleared his throat. “Now come the fuck on, we can practice it on that broken cliff.”

— — — — — — — — —

Eijirou found himself in the empty 1-A classroom later that day. Him, Denki, Sero and Mina had all decided to hang out there, because for some reason Mina had insisted on it.

“You beat him?!” Denki was glowing , literally, sparks flew around his hair. “Finally! The guy needed to be humbled.”

Back in the day Eijirou would have agreed with Denki, but after seeing the softer side of Bakugou, he could see how wrong he, his friends and everyone else were. “Ah, I wouldn’t say humbled..”

“Yes. Humbled.” Denki insisted, which caused Eijirou’s chest to tighten a little.

“You look so good today!” Mina pointed out, her legs swinging beneath her desk. “What happened?”

Bakugou Katsuki happened.

“I just feel better. And hey, I beat him!” Eijirou threw a victorious fist in the air.

“Hell yeah, bro!” Denki bumped his fist with Eijirou’s. Eijirou accepted it gladly, a feeling of familiarity and normalcy coming over him.

It was all thanks to Bakugou, he knew. But if he admitted that, then, well.. His friends would kill him for one, and more importantly Bakugou would have no reason to keep being there for Eijirou.

“Maybe he’ll finally leave you the hell alone now.” Sero said, grinning.

Eijirou sighed. “Guys, he’s not that bad..”

“Bakugou Katsuki? Lord Explosion Murder? Not that bad?!” Denki laughed.

“I take it back, you are not good today.” Mina agreed with him.

Eijirou grunted in annoyance. “I mean it. We spent some time together and he’s not that bad. ” he crossed his arms and sighed, smiling a little. “He’s actually really manly. And he was kind to me, good , even. He’s determined and really powerful, I was convinced I could never possibly beat him until he himself showed me how.”

Sero, Mina and Denki all looked at him like he just suggested that the sun was an illusion, as if it was an impossible thing. As if there was a logical fault to liking Bakugou Katsuki. But Eijirou did.

“He was there for me in the way I needed.” he said, giving them all an accusing glare. “I had a difficult time accepting help from any of you guys, and it was all really difficult for me. When Katsuki was nice to me, it’s exactly what I needed. None of you can say you’ve ever taken care of me like he did.”

Now they just looked scared.

“No, none of you can say you’ve ever taken care of me like Katsuki did and continues to do!” Eijirou corrected firmly, feeling a small bit of anger build up in his chest.

“ Katsuki ..?” Mina repeated.

“Um, dude, your quirk is activated.” Denki said carefully, visibly confused.

Eijirou looked down at his body, and he was right. His arm and a bit of his leg were hardened. “Huh.”

“Why are you protecting him?” Denki questioned, approaching Eijirou and looking at him with a concerned expression. “Is he important to you?”

“Yeah.” Eijirou replied matter-of-factly. “I like him.”

They all froze and panicked again.

Eijirou understood why they were so surprised and confused. He himself had his reservations about the whole Bakugou thing when it started. But couldn’t they just take his word for it? And even better, could they stop acting like Katsuki was incapable of real human emotion?!

“Like..?” Mina repeated like she was trying out the word.

Eijirou squinted, taking a second look at them. 

Oh.

“Wait no, no no no, not like that! Absolutely not like that!” Eijirou panicked, flailing his arms in the way their Class Prez usually did. “No no no no no! ”

Denki laughed, finally loosening up the mood. “No need to get so defensive.”

“All I meant was that he’s my friend now.” Eijirou said, trying to recover from whatever the hell that thought was. 

It didn’t even feel that bad to imagine it, he realised. He would probably end up panicking about that later. 

“Just accept that, guys? Please?” he asked desperately.

“Look, man, if you wanna be friends with Blasty, that’s okay.” Denki shrugged. “But while you’re at it, could you make sure he doesn’t, like, murder everybody?”

“He’s a hero-in-training. I doubt he’s gonna kill anybody.” Eijirou snickered. “Even if he’s constantly on the verge of imploding.”

Mina giggled. “We’re glad to have you back, Eijirou.”

“Yeah, I guess I’m back.”

— — — — — — — — —

‘Yeah, I guess I’m back.’ 

It turned out Katsuki was not gonna fucking die. He wasn’t gonna fucking die anytime soon. It turned out he had saved the fucking world; Kirishima Eijirou.

He didn’t even mind Eijirou’s panicked and quite honestly repulsed reaction to the suggestion of liking Katsuki. Not even a little. He fucking didn’t.

He did.

He didn’t understand what was happening, and so another act of complete desperation was in order. 

He walked over to the dormitories, where he would probably spend the rest of his day. He knocked at a door he wanted to destroy and blow apart on numerous occasions.

“Kacchan!” Deku greeted, surprised.

“I’ve got some fucking questions, and I think your emotional nerdy ass can answer them.” Katsuki said coolly.

Deku let him in despite his rudeness, as always. “What do you need?” he asked as he shut the door with a big fucking smile.

“It’s about Eijirou.”

Deku paused, inspected him, and then grinned proudly. “I’ve actually been waiting for this.”

“What are implying, shitty nerd?!” Katsuki snapped, exploding the air in his distress. “What the fuck have you been waiting for?!”

“For you and Eijirou to become friends.” Deku said enthusiastically, sitting down on his loser bed. “It’s totally normal to have real friends, Kacchan. You don’t need to freak out.”

Katsuki crossed his arms and eyed Deku with what he hoped conveyed pure disgust. The little shit had prepared for this. “Fucking unbelievable.”

“It’s okay, I had to get used to it too when we got into UA. Everyone was really friendly and it left me confused, but I turned out okay.”

Absolutely the fuck not. Katsuki was not gonna relate to this wimpy loser. No way in hell. He wasn’t confused why Eijirou had forgiven him, he never questioned why the bastard was nice to him, he never hesitated. Not like fucking Deku, of all people.

I hate my life.

“This is different from making a new friend.” Katsuki said, and he was going to lie, but it felt surprisingly true on his tongue.

Deku blinked, apparently also having magically noticed Katsuki wasn’t fucking kidding. “How so? Does he still dislike you?”

“No, you fucking idiot. Nothing like that." Katsuki mumbled. Was he blushing? No way in hell were his cheeks red. Not even a little. They fucking weren’t.

Deku’s eyes widened slowly, his lips pulled into an annoyingly wide smile. “Kacchan.. Do you like him?!”

“What the fuck? Isn’t it obvious? I still have that red fucking strand in my hair you dumb fuck.” Katsuki spews, and he’s still distressed enough for explosions to erupt out of his palms. “He’s my friend, dipshit.”

“No, wait. I mean do you like like him?” Deku repeated.

Now that was too far. Katsuki growled and shook his head, but for some fucked up godforsaken shitty reason he couldn't bring himself to say the word “no.”

He stormed out of Deku’s room in favour of thinking about that any longer. Fuck no. He refused, he would not fall in love, he would not accept any possible liability to his future Pro Hero duties.

Although.. Eijirou could protect himself pretty well, from what he had seen..

Maybe..

—

When Katsuki fell onto his bed with a loud and aggressive groan, he did not think about how nice Eijriou looked when fighting.

He did not think about how cool and powerful his quirk was.

He did not think about how nice his hair looked, whether it was up in spikes, half up, tied up, or just down.

He did not love the little red strand in his hair and what it symbolised. He only did it out of friendship and because fucking Eijirou liked it.

He did not picture them holding hands, cuddling, kissing, doing all that sappy couple shit.

He did not picture them walking into class together, and he hated the idea of everyone knowing Eijirou belonged with him. 

He also didn’t try saying the words “ I love him. ”

That one he really couldn’t do. Not because he couldn’t stand the thought of being so weak and exposed, only because he didn’t.

Right…..?

—

There was a soft yet firm knocking at Katsuki’s door.

“Come in?” Katsuki said too carefully and too quietly.

“Are you okay?” Eijirou entered the room with a concerned look on his face. His brows were furrowed and one of his fangs stuck out, he was staring at Katsuki.

Katsuki tried not to melt under his gaze. It was unexpectedly fucking difficult. “What the fuck are you doing here, shitty hair?”

“Do I have to remind you there’s a strand of red in your hair too?” Eijirou smirked. “I just wanted to check on you, I guess.”

‘Like him?’

‘Wait no, no no no, not like that! Absolutely not like that!’

“Go the fuck away.” Katsuki complained. “Weren’t you on my ass about leaving you alone fucking three weeks ago?”

“I’m different now.” Eijirou shrugged. “Thanks to you.” 

Katsuki avoided looking at the warm, sincere and gooey smile that formed on Eijirou’s stupid fucking face.

It dropped suddenly. “My face is not stupid.”

Katsuki froze, then composed himself, then froze again, then wished he would fucking die. “Yes it is. You’ve got a stupid fucking face.”

“Hmph.” Eijirou looked offended.

Katsuki gathered ungodly impossible and unfathomable amounts of courage. “I like your stupid fucking face.”

Eijirou’s brows furrowed first, then his bitchass smile returned, then he sat down on the bed close to Katsuki. Katsuki sat up in response, leaning against his bed frame.

“You do?” Eijirou looked way too fucking pleased with himself.

“Yeah.” Katsuki shuffled forward, coming way too close to his friend, just like on the Training Grounds. “And your dumbass teeth.” 

His entire upper body was turned toward Eijirou, and Eijirou was turned toward him as well. Their faces were only inches apart, the distance begged to be filled. As he spoke, Katsuki made the biggest mistake of his life. His eyes travelled downward to Eijirou’s lips, where that singular fang stuck out.

Like the dumbest motherfucker on earth, he let his mind wander, let himself think about how soft they probably were, and how nice it would be to really feel those sharp teeth on his own.

Eijirou’s expression changed in some weird way, although his smile didn’t falter. “I like your hair.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, orca fuck, I like your arms.”

“I like your confidence.”

“I like how fucking nice you are. Even though it’s really shitty and stupid.”

Eijirou grinned. Katsuki realised he was still staring at his lips. His breathing got a little shakier, all while Eijirou looked as unbothered as fucking Cementoss about it all.

“I also like your annoying ass quirk. I like how it makes you into some impenetrable stupid fucking megalodon.”

“I like your honesty.”  Eijirou’s eyes closed for a brief moment while he grinned.

I could..

No.

“I like that we’re friends.” Katsuki finally said, taking a deep breath and finally turning away. 

This time he couldn’t deny he was blushing. Probably because he’s never had a fucking friend, let alone somebody that liked his honesty. 

Seriously, am I fucked in the head?!

Only when a charged silence filled the room did Katsuki realised they had never really admitted being friends to each other. He tried to avert his eyes to the side without his head, looking for Eijirou’s reaction.

He looked pleased. Thank fuck .

“Hey, Katsuki?” Eijirou laughed.

Katsuki turned to sit down exactly next to him, his gaze now fixated on the floor. His floor was very interesting, definitely better than facing Eijirou with his stupid ruby eyes.

“I don’t think I wanna be rivals after all this.” 

Katsuki rolled his eyes all the way to mars, but he laughed as well. “Yeah, I don’t think that’ll even work.”

“So we’re friends. Like really friends .” Eijirou said gladly. But there was something about him. Something.

“Yeah, we’re friends.” Katsuki said.

Huh. I didn’t swear.

“Wow, look how far we’ve come.” Eijirou laughed. “It’s ridiculous man, I thought that.. When my dad died.. I thought it was the end of my life.”

Katsuki’s eyes and brows turned sad all on their own. Traitorous little fucks.

You admitted it out loud.

I’m proud of you.

“But then you kept coming around, always mad or complaining or just there , and it really helped. And when you came into Recovery Girl’s room with your arm injury, and you, like, said you’d help me, you saved my life.”

Katsuki’s eyes widened. They were watering. He fought the tears as if his fucking life depended on it. “What..?”

“I was gonna end it..” Eijirou admitted. “I didn’t jump in front of that van for no reason.”

Katsuki lost it, and he cried. He cried in front of Eijirou.

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Compose yourself you fucking idiot, stop fucking doing that.

“It made me realise I didn’t really have anything in my life worth fighting for. My dad was dead, the person that told me I was good enough, the real reason I wanted to become a hero, was gone. So please forgive me, I just felt really hopeless.”

“Only you,” Katsuki sniffled, “would fucking apologise for thinking about killing yourself.” he complained. “Please don’t ever fucking do that.”

You’re all I have.

“I won’t.” Eijirou smiled, still looking fucking apologetic. “I’ve got many motivations now. My friends, my dream of becoming a Pro Hero, and my best friend.”

“Fuckin’ Sparky?” Katsuki laughed. 

“Right..” Eijirou smirked, and when Katsuki realised he just fucking implied he was Eijirou’s best friend, not any friend but best friend, number one , he had to choke down another sob.

They just sat there for a while, Eijirou carefully wrapped an arm around Katsuki’s to offer some support. Katsuki wanted to pull him closer, tug at his arm desperately and never let go, but he wasn’t brave enough. 

Stupid fuck.

“Shouldn’t you be with Sparky and co. right now, anyway?” Katsuki grumbled. “Did you really just fucking come here to check on me, you dumb sap?”

“What if I just wanted to spend time with you?” Eijirou suggested.

“Huh.” Katsuki choked, untangling their arms frantically. “Just, fucking, boot up the Switch.”

Eijirou snickered and did as told, hopping outside of the dorm and waiting as Katsuki locked his door behind them. Katsuki looked up while he fiddled with his keys. Eijirou was leaning against the wall. He was wearing black shorts, a red riot t-shirt that was tight and exposed all of his muscles.

Katsuki couldn’t help but notice how nice and toned his muscles were.

“Sweet fucking jesus.” Katsuki cussed, tearing his key away from the door and walking down the hall behind Kirishima like an angry fucking Chihuaua.

Maybe he was a dog after all. A lot of shit had changed.

“Hey bro!” out of all people, Sparky just had to be hanging around in the common room with that tape motherfucker. Flat Face. Soy Sauce. What the hell had Katsuki named him again??

“Denki!” Eijirou glowed, pressing Sparky into a hug.

Alright. Katsuki would have to tolerate them, then, if they made Eijirou this fucking happy. He went over to the television, sticking the disk for Mario Kart inside and sat down on the couch.

“Mario Kart Eight!” It sounded from the TV, causing Eijirou and his shit friends to turn toward the TV. Katsuki leaned over the ouch. “Oi orca fuck, you coming?”

“Yeah, Katsuki, wait a sec.” Eijirou closed his eyes and gave a sweet smile, sweeter than any smile Raccoon Eyes could ever muster.

“Are you playing Mario Kart with him?” Katsuki heard Sparky ask.

“Can we, like, join..?” Tape Face asked carefully. 

“Fucking whatever just get over here!” Katsuki practically barked the words out. The vowels were short and snappy, his voice was strained and irritated.

Stop acting like a fucking dog.

“Alright!” Eijirou huffed happily.

They all sat down. Eijirou placed himself next to Katsuki, blocking him off from all the extras. Katsuki would’ve thanked him for it, if they were alone. The game started, the colours and stupid fucking characters flying across the screen.

The first few rounds were absolutely dominated by Eijirou and Sparky.

Tape Face got frustrated, Katsuki did too but only because he was getting beat by fucking Sparky.

“Are you cheating or something, Dunce Face?!” Katsuki growled, fighting the impulse to throw the controller onto the TV. “I’ll rip your head off!”

“I’ll have you know that I absolutely resent that accusation!” Sparky shot back. “Kiri and I play Mario Kart on a regular basis!” 

“ Kiri .” Katsuki repeated with a huff. How had he never noticed Eijirou’s friend’s nickname for him, if it was that atrocious? “Someone get me the hell out of here.”

“It’s much better than getting compared to weird sea animals.” Eijirou said as he drove his character to first place. Fucking Peach or something. Stupid name. “The hell is a megaloden anyway?”

“You have to be fucking kidding me. A megalo don was this huge shark thing that fucking ate whales millions of years ago. They’re extinct now.” Katsuki explained grumpily, finishing in 7th place (why were the CPUs set on hard mode again?).

“You compared Eijirou to a prehistoric shark?” Tape Face smirked. He finished in 9th place. Hah.

“I wouldn’t complain if I were you, Kiri.” Sparky giggled while the next round started. “The megalodon sounds badass.”

“Maybe I can still change my hero name!” Eijirou said, faking a sort of hopeful desperation. Sparky and Tape Face laughed.

“Better than that fucking fangirl ass name.” Katsuki grumbled.

Both Sparky and Tape Face let out some annoying fucking ‘ooh’s at that.

“Did you just question my love for Crimson Riot?” Eijirou asked, baffled.

“And what if I fucking did?” Katsuki smirked. 

His face dropped right after, when a red shell knocked his character, King Bowser, off his quad bike. “Are you fucking serious ?!”

Eijirou laughed. Katsuki’s smile returned, ever so subtly.

Not in front of the extras.

I will not pine in front of the fucking extras.

“How did you two become friends, anyway?” Sparky asked. Katsuki could feel his intense stare on himself. 

He suddenly remembered their stupid conversation, and how it looked in this context.

Shit.

“I already told you, he helped me out of my slump. Helped me process my dad’s death.” Eijirou replied simply. “Five weeks of pure suffering..” he added like he was lamenting it.

“I know, but I wanna hear it from Bakugou.” Sparky said.

Yeah, he definitely remembered Katsuki’s outburst.

“What Eijirou said. I helped him when he was sad.” Katsuki defended, voice rough and firm as he chose his words carefully. “I need a sparring partner that doesn’t break when I release an AP shot.”

“Aha.” Kaminari huffed.

“Are you fucking implying something? Because I swear I will burn your hair off, cut your tongue, fry it and then stuff it in Tape Face’s mouth.” 

“Hey, what’d I do?!” Tape Face complained.

“Exist.” Katsuki barked out.

“I’m not implying anything.” Kaminari said. “You can have mercy on Sero and on my tongue.”

“What about your shitty hair?” Katsuki grinned.

“Leave my hair alone too, please.” Kaminari requested, laughing.

“Fucking hell.” Katsuki huffed. This time he finished in third place, behind Eijirou who was first and a CPU that got second (why the fuck were they on hard mode??).

The rest of the night went as expected. Katsuki dished out only his finest insults at Kaminari, Tape Face and even Eijirou, all while the other three laughed, joked and competed for first place.

It was fucking stupid, but Katsuki liked it. When he went to sleep that night, the memory replayed in his dream. The memory of the first time he had spent time with friends.

Or at the very least people that could become his friends.

—

The next two weeks were a repeating cycle Katsuki could get drunk on. 

Eijirou kept talking to him during class. 

~

"You wanna bet that I'll score higher than you?" Eijirou leaned on his desk, using both his hands to prop his head up on it.

"In maths? No fucking way, dumbass." Katsuki turned his chair around.

"Come on, have some competitive spirit." Eijirou winked.

Fucking hell..

"That's what you want?" Katsuki asked roughly.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I want." 

"Yeah?" 

"Hell yeah!" 

"I'll bring you to your fucking knees ." he smirked.

"Not if I pin you down first." Eijirou smirked right back.

"Oh it's on , shark face." 

~

Eijirou asked Katsuki to tutor him whenever he needed it. He asked Katsuki only. 

~

"Hey Katsuki?" Eijirou's long ass hair appeared in Katsuki's slightly opened door. 

"What do you need?" 

" You ." Eijirou chuckled.

I knew he’d find that funny.

"Stop fucking kidding." 

"I'm having issues with the literature Cementoss assigned us." 

"Can't understand The Art of War? Fucking hell, Eijirou." Katsuki rolled his eyes.

"Are you gonna help me or not?" Eijirou pouted.

"Sit the fuck down, idiot ." 

~

Eijirou also invited Katsuki to hang out with his friends sometimes. It turned out Raccoon Eyes, Tape Face and Sparky were not totally insufferable. 

~

"How can you say udon noodles are better than classic?! You're a psychopath!" Kaminari accused Mina. 

"If any one of us is gonna be psychopathic, it's gonna be Bakugou." Mina deflected. 

"What the fuck, Raccoon Eyes?" Katsuki growled. "I'll tear you to little pink shreds." 

Sero and Denki laughed. " Little pink shreds !" Sero parroted. "It'd be hilarious if it wasn't a death threat." 

"It is fucking hilarious. Why do you think I make them all the time?" 

"Wait, wait, wait." Kaminari chuckled. "You threaten people in an attempt to be funny?" 

"Funny to others. Intimidating to the extra I'm threatening." Katsuki corrected. 

"You just became a whole lot cooler, Bakubro!" Kaminari exclaimed excitedly. 

Katsuki huffed a smile onto his face, then turned to where Eijirou was walking. 

He was smiling too, and looking straight at him. Ruby red sparkled, reflecting some of the light in the classroom. Katsuki wished he could swim inside those eyes. 

~

And oftentimes, they had hung out alone too, mostly in Eijirou's room. 

~

"Your dumb punching bag is back." Katsuki pointed out. 

"Yeah, so are all my posters." Eijirou replied happily. "But of course you didn't notice those." 

"I did."

"Really?" 

"Yeah, but the punching bag is fucking bigger, so whatever." 

A beat. 

"Hey Katsuki? Do you wanna have a sleepover? I know we have class tomorrow, but it could still be fun." 

Another beat. 

"Fuck yes ." 

~

Katsuki was positive it was the best week of his fucking life. And it only kept getting better.

After a total of two and a half weeks of painstaking theory class, Aizawa finally decided to do a practical exercise. 

The entire class was told to walk over to the UA training grounds. 

On the way there, Katsuki coincidentally overheard a conversation between Kaminari and Eijirou.

“Dude, usually he's insufferable. But when he’s with you, he stops trying to kill us all!” Kaminari said, as if it was a fucking christmas miracle.

“That’s when he’s not trying to kill me.” Eijirou replied. Katsuki can hear the pull of a smile in his words, he suppressed the urge to turn around.

“I was really confused at first, cause when he came back dur-”

“Hey, Sparky, over here!” Katsuki screamed so loud that half of the walking class turned to gape at him. “Get the fuck over here.” he growled, quieter.

“Ookay, am I about to die..?” Kaminari said as he walked next to Katsuki.

“You are if you tell him about Summer Break.” Katsuki hissed under his breath. He looked around. No one seemed to have heard him.

“You mean when you burst into my room and demanded to know what was up with him?” Kaminari said, looking a little too fucking happy about it. “I get it now.”

Katsuki groaned in frustration.

“You actually cared. I had no idea, bro.”

“Call me bro again, and I’ll have Icy-Hot freeze you so I can fucking carve you into the shape of a marble.” Katsuki threatened. “Don’t fucking tell him, alright?”

Kaminari smiled at him. “I never wanted to, Bakubro.” 

Katsuki didn’t blast him, because Eijirou cared about the fucker and because a murder charge would be inconvenient for him. Kaminari went away again, back to Eijirou’s shitty clique.

Katsuki grumbled and looked forward. “How fucking long is this walk gonna take?”

—

“Alright everybody. We’re gonna test your endurance today, specifically in relation to how much you’ve grown.” Aizawa-sensei explained.

“When the fuck are you gonna let us fight again?!” Katsuki complained loudly. He had really gotten his hopes up when he heard the word practical come out of Aizawa’s mouth.

“You wanna be a hero, kid? Most of it’s gonna be repetitive.” Aizawa replied, pointing at the same cliffs and rocks Katsuki had destroyed weeks ago. Only now they were repainted, reinforced and brand new. 

Katsuki turned to Eijirou, who was actually looking at him too. They smiled at each other, Katsuki checking if anyone was seeing him being a soft sappy wimp.

“We’re gonna put you in groups of three, you can choose them on your own. Together, you have to try and destroy one of the designated areas without running out of stamina. If you manage to demolish it, you pass. If not, you fail. Simple.” 

That Katsuki could do with. Contrary to all of his classmates, who fucking groaned and huffed and puffed about it, Katsuki was waiting for an opportunity to destory something mercilessly. Even if it wasn’t some bitchy extra from 1-A.

Of course, most of his classmates approached him, asking if they could join his team. Katsuki declined them all. He was a man of strategy .

When Deku came to him, dragging Icy-Hot behind him, he agreed to become a team. Eijirou seemed to be quite happy with Mina and Kaminari. They all had fifteen minutes to change into their costumes. 

“I suppose we could split our part of the arena into three and just destroy it, assuming we all have enough stamina.” Deku stated, pulling his gloves over his weird ass hands.

Katsuki stretched and laughed. “Of course we fuckin’ do. Me and the half-and-half bastard are top two and three in our class, you’re stubborn as fuck.”

“Who is top one?” Todoroki asked, his eyes squinting just a little.

“What, are you dumb? Kirishima.”

“Why do you say that? You’ve beaten him in battle countless times.” Todoroki said flatly, wearing the usual fucked up numb expression he did. It reminded Katsuki of how Eijirou had looked during the summer.

“That’s because the dumbass orca bastard doesn’t know his own strength or resilience. He used to fight offensively until he got exhausted, and on top of all of that he fucking doubted himself.” Katsuki explained rather passionately.

“So you think he’s stronger than all of us now.” Todoroki said.

“Yes, dipshit .” Katsuki replied, turning to look at where Eijirou was changing. He was currently putting his flashy red sleeves on. His pants and boots were already hanging loosely on his body, the black harness was still laying on the bench.

His muscles were strangely defined, like someone fucking drew them specifically for a gym ad. His hair was put up into a low ponytail that day, and it fit in with his costume surprisingly well. His eyes were glowing, his teeth were on display and he was smiling widely. It was clear he couldn’t wait to start up proper hero training again.

Katsuki sighed, his mind turning to goo as his eyes inspected and registered every single inch of Eijirou. 

Hours went by. Years. Decades. Aeons. Nothing existed, just Eijirou. Eijirou and his beauty, his enthusiasm, his charm.

“Kacchan?”

“Bakugou?”

“I think he’s frozen.”

“Oh, he’s definitely frozen.”

“ Katsuki? ” 

“Huh? What?” Katsuki shook his head, ruffling his hair a little. He blinked, and Eijirou was right there, all up in his face, extremely fucking close.

Behind him, Katsuki noticed after freezing in place for a whole ass minute, were the rest of 1-A.

"What the fuck does everyone want?!" Katsuki bit into the air, completing his transformation into Eijirou's sappy pathetic lapdog. 

Everyone effectively backed off, so part of his dignity was saved.

"You fell into some weird trance, bro." Kaminari explained, like Katsuki wasn't painfully aware of what he had done. Of how he had looked at his best friend . 

Katsuki grumbled something, attached the last grenade onto his belt and left. 

—

Seeing Eijirou putting on his furiously attractive hero suit was one thing. 

Seeing him fight in it was a whole different world. His arms moved faster than ever, his hardening somehow looked cooler than before and the way he swung himself at various rocks and tore through cliffs and.. 

Had Katsuki done that? Would Eijirou have hesitated if Katsuki hadn't finally made it clear to him how powerful he really was? 

Would Katsuki have never been blessed with the sight of a confident and fully powered Eijirou if he hadn't been honest to him for once?

"I must say, he has significantly improved." Todoroki approached Katsuki, because apparently Icy-Hot had nothing better to do than trigger Katsuki's affection for Eijirou. "Did he train with you?" 

"Yeah, a little. What's it to you?" 

"You seem to have become… Close ." Todoroki said. 

"Did fucking Deku tell you something? I'll rip him to shreds, I'll find a way to tear his soul apart!" Katsuki screamed in panic. 

"Izuku didn't tell me anything, Bakugou. I believe it's fairly obvious." 

Anxiety, raw fear, a reflex to fight for his life. " What is obvious, you cheap Zuko copy!?" Katuski was shouting so loud some of the extras were staring at them.

"Well, that you are friends." Todoroki shrugged. 

Katsuki breathed in deeply. 

"And that you like him." he added, so fucking casually , and then walked away to talk to Deku. 

Katsuki was left frozen in place for what felt like the millionth fucking time that term. 

— — — — — — — — —

Eijirou, Denki and Mina had passed the exercise easily. It was really fun, to set his powers free while he threw himself into different rocks and trees.

Katsuki on the other hand seemed really off. 

He had no trouble demolishing everything, of course, but he did it with such vigour, like he was angry or frustrated. 

Eijirou almost forgot to be concerned, he looked so manly and unstoppable. Perhaps he could fight this side of Katuski one day, if he managed to avert his eyes from that black tank top. 

But no matter how beautiful he looked, Katsuki was clearly freaked out about something . Eijirou would have to ask him after all of this. 

"Hey Kiri?" Denki approached, still smug and proud from passing. 

"Yeah bro?" Eijirou met him with the same amount of enthusiasm. 

"What the hell happened to Bakugou?! Do you see him tearing through those mountains?" 

"Yeah. I wanted to ask him about that." Eijirou mumbled thoughtfully. 

There was a pause which Eijirou used to find the words needed to prompt Katsuki Bakugou to be honest.

"Are you gonna talk about it?" Denki suddenly said. 

"About what?" 

"The fact he was eyeing you in the locker rooms?" 

Eijirou coughed a little. "I don't really think he was. Maybe he was deep in thought and just happened to be looking at me?" 

"Kiri, you are the smartest and dumbest motherfucker I've ever met."

Eijirou laughed, ignoring the way his heart started beating faster. "Wow, ouch." 

"Seriously. He was eyeing you. He was eyeing you like you were just waiting to be devoured. " Denki insisted. 

Sero joined in, supplying some unhelpful help. "Are we talking about Bakugou undressing Kiri with his eyes?"

Eijirou's cheeks grew hotter than he expected them to. He started scraping at some of the skin on his arm with his finger. “Gross!”

"Yeah absolutely we are." Denki exclaimed. "See? I told you." 

"Oh my god. Please tell me you're not denying it." Sero sighed.

"I'm not denying anything!" Eijirou protested. "I'm just saying, he could've just been thinking." 

"Has anyone ever told you how smart and stupid you are?" Sero huffed, amused. 

"Yeah, Denki, just a second ago." Eijirou sighed.

Sero and Denki high fived at that, the idiots . Adding onto Eijirou's growing pile of misery, Mina approached them. 

"Eijirou, do you know why Bakugou's so mad?" she asked sweetly. 

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?!" Eijirou complained. 

"Because next to Midoriya you're the only person who can survive being alone with him for more than a minute." Mina shrugged. 

"Well I don't know." Eijirou replied, his shoulders tensing in frustration. 

"You don't?" Mina was surprised. Eijirou realised, with a lot of guilt, that he liked the idea of people thinking only he could possibly know what's wrong with Katsuki. 

"I'd suggest we all leave Katsuki alone until he's done with his assignment." he suggested. 

"He's done." Denki pointed out. 

"He is?" 

"He's been done for five minutes, Eijirou." 

"That's humanly impossible ." Eijirou huffed, turning toward the training grounds. 

Was I thinking for that long? What happened?!

Denki seemed to be right. Everything was demolished beyond belief, and almost all of the carcass was stained with the signature black dust of Katsuki's explosions, even the areas Izuku had been working on.

"What the hell is up with him?" Eijirou shook his head. 

"What the hell is up with who?!" Katsuki was suddenly there too, an exhausted Izuku and calm looking Todorki behind him. 

What is going on?! 

"I can barely keep up with this." Eijirou stated. 

"The fuck's up with him?" Katsuki grumbled and turned to Denki, of all people. 

"He thought too hard." Denki giggled.

"Bet? What're you thinking about, genius?" Katsuki turned to Eijirou with a pleased look, almost like he knew. He folded his hands behind his back, taking a large step toward Eijirou. 

Eijirou melted right then and there, in front of everyone. "No.. Nothing important.. Uh-" he felt his head spin. "I mean I just-" 

"Fucking hell. You really do think too hard." Katsuki's eyebrows furrowed even more than they usually did. He leaned down just a little, his face millimetres away from Eijirou's. 

"No I- whaaaaaat.." Eijirou wheezed, cracking. He coughed, shaking his head and turning away, his gaze darted toward the floor because that promptly became the most interesting thing in the world. 

"Don't hurt yourself." Katsuki smirked. "I'll be in my dorm." 

Then he left, and everyone turned to Eijirou. 

"I'll be in my dorm." Denki mimicked.

"Whaaaaaat…" Sero wheezed, laughing right after. 

"And he called you a genius." Mina smiled widely. "I think I know why you're so protective of him now." 

"It's nothing like that!" Eijirou said tensely. 

Eijirou did not like lying. 

"No no, not at all." Denki could barely contain his laughter. "You haven't been blatantly flirting in front of everyone for weeks now." 

"Wow wow wow, weeks?! " Eijirou felt his blood run cold. Then hot. Then cold again. Then hot, rushing right to his cheeks, as if those needed any more. 

"Remember when he scolded Sero for insinuating you're stupid? Or when you made a bet on who'd get a higher score on the maths test and it was blatant flirting?" Mina asked, and no , Eijirou did not remember that . 

"Not to mention the eye-fucking ." Denki groaned. "God the eye-fucking.." 

"Wait wait wait, flirting?" Eijirou scrambled for words. 

"Jesus you're oblivious!" Mina laughed. "Does 'I'll bring you to your fucking knees.' ring any bells? Or maybe your brilliant response, 'Not if I pin you down first!', seems familiar?"  

"Those are fighting terms." Eijirou countered. 

"I'd say the words were carefully chosen." Sero insisted. 

“Words chosen by two boys with unresolved sexual tension." Todoroki, Todoroki Shouto, interrupted with the trace of a smirk on his face. 

"I feel the sudden urge to throw myself off one of those cliffs." Eijirou complained. " Unhardened. "

"Admit it, you want him." Denki said. 

"Okay, no. " Eijirou shook his head. "If anything, I love him. It's way too early for encounters of any kin-" 

Everyone seemed way too excited. Eijirou replayed his words in his head, and it became obvious why quite quickly.

"I just said I love him." he felt all the blood rush away from his face, rendering him nauseous. "Huh."

"I think this is the part where it all finally clicks in place." Denki commented, watching him like a lab rat. 

Eijirou shot him a glare, but then the smiling took over. In the fraction of a second he was reduced to a giggling blushing mess. 

"Wow, I did not see this coming." he shook his head and placed his hands on his hips. "It was right in front of me the entire time!" 

Mina huffed in fascination and turned to Denki and Sero. "He didn't know." 

"I thought I was oblivious!" Sero laughed. "Kiri, you've loved the guy for way too long now." 

"Yeah yeah, I realise that now, thanks." Eijirou brushed him off. 

It has been you all along, hasn't it? 

— — — — — — — — —

'I'll be in my dorm.' 

Katsuki was gonna fucking die after all. What the hell was he thinking? That had been way too fucking forward, too fucking obvious, too goddamn sappy. 

Fuck!

Katsuki sat around on the desk in his room, severely unnerved, writing down possible ways to explain everything to Eijirou. 

I like you, dumbass bitch. 

That one was too simple, Katsuki's feelings were way more complicated than that. And they sure as hell went beyond " like". 

How the hell could one confess to someone that didn't love them back anyway? 

How the hell could one do that, as Bakugou Katsuki, the most cold-hearted angry motherfucker in probably the entirety of UA?

Fuck.

That one was even simpler, and just his frustration. And also the word Katsuki probably used more than any other.

When I look at you, my anger fades. When you speak, I can't lie. When you breathe, I breathe with you. 

That one was just shitty poetry. No rhyme, no tact, no nothing. Just random statements (that were true). 

FUCK. 

He really didn’t know how to possibly express it all. There was a knock at the door. A firm yet soft one. Katsuki was gonna die . He was gonna fucking die .

“Hey!” Eijirou greeted happily, walking past Katsuki to enter the room.

Katsuki couldn’t do this. He couldn’t, not while still being so frustrated and scared and tense. “What.” he mumbled out the word.

“What’s that, were you writing?” Eijirou peeked over to his desk. Katsuki launched himself at it, covering it. “ No. ”

Eijirou squinted. “Why are you being weird?”

“I’m not fucking being weird.”

“Yeah, you are .” Eijirou stepped closer.

Katsuki took one step back, closer to his desk. Eijirou followed him.

“I’m not being fucking weird.” Katsuki insisted.

“Katsuki, I know you.”

“Why the fuck are you being weird, calling me Katsuki? Aren’t I fucking Bakubro to you?” he grumbled, defiantly crossing his arms.

“Not today.” Eijirou shrugged. He leaned forward to look at Katsuki’s face up close.

Katsuki took another step back. “What the fuck is going on?!” he shouted.

Eijirou stopped, straightened himself up and sighed. “I don’t know. You just seem really angry and I’m concerned for you.”

There was a pause. The silence left plenty of room for pressure to build up in Katsuki’s chest, until it felt so tight he couldn’t breathe if he didn’t let it out.

“I like you.” he tried the words out.

“I like you too, and I-”

“No, Eijirou.” Katsuki shook his head and looked to the floor, his two arms leaning on the desk chair behind him. “I really like you.”

“That’s sweet, but-”

“For fucks sake you stupid fucking shit! ” Katsuki screamed.

The dam broke. The flood came through and when it did, it destroyed everything in its way, it crashed into every single crevice it possibly could.

“I fucking love you- shit! ” Katsuki shouted, closing his eyes and cringing because he had just said it.

I said it.

“You whaaa..” Eijirou wheezed again. Why did he always fucking do that?!

“I mean it, alright, and I don’t even fucking know when it started.” Katsuki gained the courage to look upward, to face Eijirou head-on. Red met red.

One thing about the flood was when it came through, all of it came through. All of Katsuki’s emotions, feelings, thoughts and secrets slid down his tongue as if he was one of those people with no issue expressing their feelings.

“And I have stupid habit of biting my tongue whenever I feel any fucking emotions so I never even told you.”

“Katsuki..” Eijirou smiled.

“No. You fucking listen, if I don’t say this now I never fucking will again.” Katsuki cried, the tears building up in his eyes and running hot down his cheeks. That was the second time Katsuki had cried in front of another person.

“I keep getting so fucking angry because you’re too fucking stupid to see that I hang around you because I care. I follow you like a goddamn dog, Eijirou, are you blind?! Or maybe you aren’t and you’ve been fucking torturing me on purpose all this time, and hell I deserve it.”

“Katsuki.” Eijirou tried again. He was crying too now.

“Eijirou.”

“Katsuki, I-”

“Eijirou please .” Katsuki sobbed. “Just let me be really honest this once.”

Ejirou nodded, taking Katsuki’s hands.

Katsuki laughed, both bitterly and fondly. “See? There! It feels like my hands are on fucking fire, just because you fucking touched me. And- and- sometimes, right, it’s like your body itself sings to me or something. I don’t even fucking remember when I learned that you place your hands on your stupid hips when you’re proud of something, or when I saw that your hair gets visibly softer when you’re sad. I don’t fucking know, alright?!”

“Oh Katsuki..” Eijirou laughed. He wasn’t bitter, he was just fond. Katsuki wished he could do that.

“I don’t even fucking know why I feel this way, maybe the universe decided I deserve to be punished or something. I just really fucking love you. Fuck. ” 

“I think you just said fuck like fifty times.” Eijirou pointed out, smiling wide.

“I probably did.” Katsuki mumbled. 

There was another pause. It felt like hours to Katsuki, stifling his tears, watching Eijirou’s bodily language, trying to figure out what was about to happen.

And then there were lips on Katsuki’s own, and everything fell into place. 

And it was all fucking perfect .

Katsuki dug his fingers into the back of Eijirou’s head, relishing in the feel of his long hair being down. He placed his other arm on his back, and finally pulled them closer together like he wanted to.

Eijriou let his hands fall onto Katsuki’s chest, and the bastard smiled into their kiss.

When they pulled apart, he was still smiling.

“I love you too.”

Katsuki was never gonna fucking die. He was gonna live forever, and it was all going to be because of one moment.