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Nights like these are always easy.
That’s not what you think. That’s what you know to be true. You’ve long since moved away from the fear and the judgment that the near-silent nights-in are something to be ashamed of. No longer do you worry about what others would think of you if they heard that you spent your Friday night in your pajamas by 7:00 pm and under the cover by 8:00 pm. You grew past it. You grew above it. And part of you hopes that the people who used to give you the most trouble for things like that grew above that mentality too. The other part of you doesn’t care. You’re far too comfortable to think about things that make you unhappy.
You’re far too warm.
“ Hmm… ”
You breathe in a quiet breath of air, only to push it just as a hum, a little louder than intended. It’s a thoughtful one. Not filled with sorrow or sadness. It just meant that to you, you were lost in your own mind as your eyes traveled across the small, pixelated screen, wondering what to do next. But to Goro? Well, you think he heard a different story.
“ Sorry, my love. ” The honeyed murmur of your husband sounds over your head. You turn your gaze upwards, away from the handheld videogame console sitting in your relaxed grip just in time to see him duck down and press his lips against your forehead. The arm he has wrapped around you tugs you just a little closer, opting to hold you tight as he tilts his head a little more and delivers a second kiss to the tip of your nose. In an instant, a giddy feeling washes over you. The type that you were always sure would go away after weeks and weeks of being together. But those weeks turned into months, and those months turned into years, and yet here you are- growing all flustered and warm in the cheeks from a little peck like this. “I’ll be done soon. Then we can go to bed. Does that sound good?”
You find yourself nodding along easily, barely even registering a word he says before he’s leaned back in the bed and turned his focus back to his work. Your eyes widen for a second, almost as if you truly don’t believe what you’re seeing despite this being such a common sight for the two of you. Still, that little fact doesn’t stop the way your eyes glance down at your console before taking note of the accurate-to-life in-game time display sitting right next to your cutely dressed avatar. You frown when you noticed that it was well after midnight. Where has the time gone? You start to wonder as if you weren’t the one who just willingly spent hours decorating an island for ten little virtual villager friends. But one thought leads to another and another and another, and suddenly, you’re back to being aware of the arm around you.
And the person who it belongs to.
You turn your gaze upwards again, and this time, your now noticeably much sleepier gaze catches on to the same face you wake up to every single day. His normally relaxed and light-hearted expression is swapped for a look of deep concentration. Eyebrows furrowed, lips set in a line, and pretty red eyes shifting across his laptop screen as he types away at it with one hand. In one of his ears, you spot something dark and back and jutting out right around his mouth: an earpiece. You can just barely make out some mumbled words in a language you just barely know the basics to. But even when you’re wide awake and ready to take on the world, there was no way you’d be able to translate the faint Japanese conversation that he’s listening to. Not without his help of course.
Your eyes trail a little downward, taking note of all of his features as his focus remains on what seems like paperwork that couldn’t wait for the time in your part of the world to become reasonable. Like you, he’s in his pajamas- just a simple t-shirt advertising an old cartoon he told you he used to watch and a pair of loose sweatpants that cover his legs as they stay tangled with yours. Unlike you, however, he’s busy. And it’s not surprising to see him kneedeep in something this important at this hour considering the time difference between here and Tokyo is around 12 hours.
But as your eyes flicker over at his computer screen and you watch the rapid-fire increase of Kanji taking over his screen, you can’t help but curl into him just a little more and let out another little breath.
It’s not much. It’s not much, but it’s what I can do.
That’s what you tell yourself as lay your head on his chest and throw an arm around his abdomen. He feels warm against your body, and his heartbeat feels steady and strong beneath your ear as you press yourself against him. Your game has long since been forgotten, but it was for the best. You had done enough fishing and crafting for the day. It’s just about time you turn your attention to the person who needs you the most in a moment like this. And no, it’s not like you can fill out the paperwork for him. It’s not like you can take his after-midnight calls and meetings either. That’s just something you can’t do.
But you can do this.
“You got this Goro…” You murmur quietly as you give him a quick squeeze and smile against his chest, your hands grabbing at the fabric of his shirt to hold him closer. “ I know you can do it, honey. ”
So this is what you’ll do.
It’s not much. You know that. But even so, you can’t help but feel like nights like these are easy. Nights like these are quiet as the two of you lay in bed in your shared bedroom. Nights like these are relaxed as you dress for no one but the inviting sheets that keep beckoning you to give in to your deepest desires. Nights like these are warm because you’re next to him and because he’s next to you. And so, nights like these are easy. And that’s not what you think. That’s what you know to be true. Because nights like these are easy . They’re easy because you have him.
“I know you can, Goro…”
They’re easy because he has you too.