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These last couple of years have been hard on Chuuya, physically and mentally(more on the mental side.)
Chuuya was the head of the sheeps, he had to protect and lead them. It was difficult sometimes to do it all by himself, but he got through it. Then, he joined had mafia, living on the streets with the sheep letting Chuuya see and hear about a lot of awful things. But the mafia was no doubt way worse, not that it was a surprise, it was just… a lot to take in.
Sometimes, he needed a little mental break, a second to breathe. He didn’t remember much of anything from his childhood, maybe that's why he felt it relaxing to just act younger. It made him feel like he was still just a child… no worries, no struggles.
He usually did this when he was starting to stress out a little too much. And only on his days off or when he told everyone else he would be busy and not to disturb him. His mind didn’t feel clear enough to talk to anybody when he did this.
And so finally it was his first day off! You didn’t get many days off in the mafia, so it was nice to have a day all to himself, where he could relax.
Chuuya let himself continue to sink into his bed. He knew just because it was his day off he couldn’t just lay in bed all day, but it was so comfortable. It felt almost impossible to get up!
But still, he lazily got up and outta bed. He whined to himself about getting up, how he had to even though there was nothing he needed to do today. Chuuya was embarrassed to admit he felt like a little kid begging their mom to let them sleep five more minutes.
He grumpily brushed his teeth and changed from his pajamas into some oversized clothes(for some reason he struggled a bit, but managed to do it by himself!), and grabbed a stuffed dog Albatross had given him as a joke when he found out Chuuya loved dogs.
It was just nice to hold, and hug throughout the day, okay?
He was thinking of making something to eat, but everything seemed too big for him. He told himself he would make something to eat later, and for now, he was just not hungry.
Chuuya plopped down on his couch and turned on the TV. He wasn’t quite sure what to watch, he just wanted it to be something where he didn’t have to think too much about what was happening.
His mind felt a little cloudy… but it was nice in a way. He couldn’t think but that also meant he couldn’t think about the sheep, or the mafia, or anything.
Putting his knees up to his chest, stuffed dog in between, while watching powerpuff girls, and curled up in a bunch of blankets… Chuuya felt so small, so childlike. He felt safe.
He heard noises come from the front door, was someone supposed to come over today? What if they see him like this? So vulnerable, so stupid looking… would they judge him? What would they say—?
“Chibi~? Are you still sleeping like a dog?” The familiar voice made Chuuya jump, he realized the door had been opened when he was thinking and that someone he knew very well had opened(broken into) his house.
He was a mixture of relief and fear when he figured out who was in his house.
“Mm? Chuuya?” Dazai just stared at Chuuya, cuddled up with multiple blankets and a stuffed animal, and an unusual look in his eyes. “...why are there so many blankets? And what's with…” he pointed towards the stuffed dog, “that?”
Chuuya looked at him confused, “it’s mine.” he mumbled, holding it tighter than before and moving it farther away from Dazai.
“I never said it wasn’t yours.” Dazai continued to stare at him with a blank look.
This was getting uncomfortable for Chuuya now, a part of him wanted to cry and the anxiety he was feeling, but he knew that would only make it worse.
Dazai’s attention next went to the TV. “mh… Powerpuff girls? Why are you watching that? I didn’t think Chibi would have this kind of taste.”
“Go away.” Chuuya tried to make his tone aggressive but it didn’t hide his embarrassment. What was he thinking? He felt so comfortable, but now he felt the exact opposite. He couldn’t stop the tears forming in his eyes.
Dazai was startled when Chuuya began to tear up, “Chuuya!? Why are you crying all of a sudden? Did I hurt your feelings that badly with that comment?” Chuuya slowly nodded.
It wasn’t that comment in particular, it was the feelings of judgment, and how Dazai was seeing him at this moment.
Dazai sat down beside Chuuya, pulling him closer beside him when Chuuya didn’t make any effort to move away. “Are you feeling okay?” he asked.
Chuuya shrugged, “Mhm… just I dunno, smaller? Like a little kid…”
The other nodded, “Okay, that's okay. How little of a kid?” Dazai started to understand what was happening, and he knew how to deal with it(for the most part).
“maybe… six? five? I-I’m not sure…” Chuuya felt a little bad for not knowing for sure, was he supposed to? Why was Dazai even asking this…? Was he in trouble for something he did? He looked up at Dazai.
Dazai just smiled softly at him, “That's pretty big. Hey, have you eaten yet?”
Chuuya shook his head, “It looked too big for me…” he whispered.
“You don’t have to have any responsibilities when you feel this way, I’ll take good care of you when you feel smaller, alright?”
Chuuya didn’t feel anxiety chew away at him anymore. Dazai didn’t seem to be mocking him, or judging him! He was being really caring… it made him feel even smaller than he did before. He nodded.
Dazai didn’t make anything, he ordered food online and sat with Chuuya until it arrived. While eating, Dazai started to ask more questions.
“Do you feel smaller often?”
“Mmm with the sheep yeah! But work is always super duper busy and hard!” He whined.
“Does anyone take care of you when you feel this way?”
Chuuya finished a bite of his food, “No? I never told the sheep or the flags… it's scary.”
“...say, chibi, do you know what you are feeling is called?”
Chuuya thought hard about it, was he supposed to…? “Nope!”
Dazai nodded, “Okay then, that's all I needed to know! I’ll talk to you later when you feel bigger, alright little chibi? Until then I’ll take care of you!”
“Take… care of me?”
“Of course! A little chibi like you needs someone to take care of him~! And who better but me?”
“A lot of people I think…” He said under his breath, Dazai heard it but choose to ignore it. “But okay,” Chuuya said.
Dazai smiled. He would need to talk to Chuuya about his age regressing without even knowing it… it would be a change, that's for sure, but Dazai thinks they can both handle it.