Work Text:
Bev sat at their desk, wondering on what to do for the next hour. They would be meeting for a date, set up by their classmate. What they don't know is that it's the duolingo owl, and they would be spending the evening at a wine glass painting studio.
What they also didn't know, is that Duo would be attempting to convert Bev to a cult.
Bev heard the jingle of the bell above the door. Maybe it was their date.
They turned their head and was greeted by the sight of a large, green owl.
"Oh my god." They could not believe what they were seeing. "Is that- is that the fucking Duolingo Owl?" They muttered into their wineglass. "I'm gonna kill Lilly."
The owl wandered over, eyeing Bev with intrigue. They slid into the chair beside them and turned their head in that creepy way owls do. "Beverage?" drawled the owl. "Hmmm. I like this. You have an it factor"
Beverage spit the wine at the owl, disgusted at both the taste and the creature in front of him. "Be honest with me are you real or just some guy in a suit?"
"I'm not sure what you mean?" the freak asked.
"I mean am i gonna have to call Animal control or the police?" Bev made a mental note to delete Duolingo off their phone the second they were out of this situation.
"Your friend lilly thought we would be a good match."
"Yeah well lilly's a little shit." bev said cutting
his bread. "du pain in french" he said
Bev got up, and walked to the back. there was a zipper. they pulled it down
"hey!"Bev pulled the zipper all the way down and pulled out the person inside
it was the owl....again.
They repeated this process over and over again, but still, owl after owl, it was here to stay
"when I hoped this evening would end with getting unzipped...this isn't what i had in mind" the owl said as bev chugged their wine. they didn't even like wine, they hated it, but they desperately needed to not be sober.
"i'm going to kill Lilly"
"ah yes lilly, very nice guy, always gets their french streak in...not so great in their mandarin though"
"shut up"
they considerd walking out, but decided that the free dinner was worth the pain.
this continued though diner, with the owl trying to flirt in various languages until the check came
The owl started nervously figiting with the pen and reciept
They decided to woo Bev over with one last idea. They assumed that paying for the dinner would be enough, but it was clear it wasn't going in the right direction. The owl needed to win Bev over, it was important to them and for the fate of the universe.
The owl took their copy of the receipt and started to scribble something. Bev curiously looked over to see what the owl was doing, wondering if this night could end up any worse. It was clear Lilly would need a talking the next day- why the duolingo owl of all people??
A few minutes later, the owl finished scribbling and gave the receipt over to Bev. Somehow, and bev didn't know how, the owl started to turn different colors. Blushing red didn't meet well with neon lime green, so they looked more fake than ever.
Bev gave a good look at the receipt and smiled. Maybe, just maybe, there was some hope in this relationship.
Pictured on the receipt was a code for a free year on the duolingo app.