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This is years before God created tallulah, before the dark times. God actually got Tika right in the beginning before they kept fucking things up... again
God and Tika were good friends. Both gaslighters, both toxic to their friends, and shitty at swimming. They thought it would be funny to make the earth 71% water. They thought it was even more funny to stick Tika on an island. That'll show her, you're gonna learn to swim one way or another.
Tika and God didn't talk as much as the years went on, Tika held a grudge about being kept on an island and God realized the longer she was away the easier his life got. An elephant was a terrible companion all things considered, she coulsn't play games or talk shit well, but did have a good enough memory to recall all of his faults.
Eventually though the knowledge that she was out there was enough to set him on edge. So he sent Roe, with the mission od eliminating the menance. Of course she had to lose her memory tho,
"Oh Tika, you're my best friend!" Then she started to sing that god damned (haha) song again.
God was irritated. "What do I have to do? Smite her??? I tried the 'eating the elephant' trope, but she just made friends."
WAIT. God had an idea. A true enemy to destroy the elephant. A MONKEY!
So God started making plans. It would have to be powerful. I mean Tika is an Elephant. But it can't look intimidating. "I have to lull Tika into a sense of security. It has to be cunning, underhanded, downright nasty. It has to be everything Tika and I are and MORE."
So he tried to think, what was the best things that they ever created...Man. Thats it! they would combine the two. man AND monkey.
So they set out to create a weapon of mass destruction, something to trick Tika in to friendship, and then stab her in the back ruthlessly. They named it Talullah. But when god was finished, they realized what they had done. This wasn't a masterpiece, it was an abomination. they sent it down on a cloud (as not to raise suspicions) to hell where it would burn for eternity. But Talullah heard of their plans and rerouted it to the mainland. She landed on the doorstep of the king and queen no less, and they did not see the horror, but the beauty
that was seen in this monkey. Immediately they took her in, and God couldn't do anything but watch as their original plan crumpled apart.
God meant to create ai to originally put them in a barbie movie, but things got out of hand faster than they imagined. Maybe ai and Tika were meant to be in their own barbie movie, perhaps in another universe this opportunity would arise. Ai too, became friends with Tika, and God couldn't take it much longer.
So they made Jesus come back to earth, something they swore they would never do again. They thought it would be funny to piss the christians off, to gaslight them into believing that it would happen again someday. But it was an emergency. Maybe Jesus could deal with Tika, in his own weird Jesus way. God knew his son, but he didn't know that Jesus was a furry. Where did the lion tail come from?
The rest was a blur, but they never expected the end of the earth to happen from a damn monkey and elephant.