Chapter Text
Natsume stared at the new group chat, almost afraid to send a message. They could still clearly remember Madara asking them to join the chat. A chat full of other idols who don’t fit into the normal gender norms. Natsume was unsure of how they could even start a conversation, they didn’t want to mess up or something by accident. Before their worries could flood them once again, someone sent a message.
#GenderSquad
Swan: Naru. Give me your internal organs and I’ll give you mine.
Oh…That was certainly an opening. Natsume didn’t expect that.
Gender Auntie: JNSVOEINFDUWN Bet babe, I’ll plan the surgery for us <3
Mama Bee: NOOOOO
Mama Bee: Ai-chan give them to me, not Naru. They’re only half girl, I’m a full one </3
Gender Auntie: Well, I’ve been a girl longer, so uh fuck you hon :)
Mama Bee: WELL IVE BEEN ALICW LONGER THAN YOU
Gender Auntie: Well I can spell
Sir Gawain: Okay enough
Sir Gawain: Both of you calm down before we scare off the new kid
Pronouns Yee/Haw: OH YEAH
Pronouns Yee/Haw: @Stealing BonES pspspspspspsps here Natsu Natsu
Pronouns Yee/Haw: Pspspspsps come say hi
Well shit…It was probably best for them to say something anyway, rather than just watching everyone talk like some weird stalker.
Stealing BonES : uH- hI?
Swan: Sakasaki-senpai!!! Hru? :D
Stealing BonES: I’m alright I suppOSE? And you uH…
Swan: Oh yeah chat names are diff here
Swan: I’m Aira from Alkaloid!! And I’m well thanks!!
Swan: Well aside from period pains but that’s not important-
Stealing BonES: OH SAME
Stealing BonES: I have some spare blankets and candy if you want to come share thEM?
Swan: SJFHUBGYSUFHSIFH COULD I PLEASE
Stealing BonES: Of couRSE
Stealing BonES: I have my cats in the dorm for the weekend tOO, if you wish to cuddle with thEM. I find holding them comforting while on my cyCLE, and they’re both very cuddly kittIES :)
Swan: I think I might start sobbing before I get to your dorm-
Phantom Mama: Do either of you need me to bring you anything? It’s the least I could do for such lovely people like you hehe…
Swan: Mama! Tea would be nice I think? But not the icky one you and Tattsun tried making me drink last time :/
Stealing BonES: EWWWW I KNOW EXACTLY THE ONE YOURE TALKING ABOUT
Stealing BonES: MOPHEAD TRIED FORCING ME TO DRINK IT ONCE EW EW EW EW
Stealing BonES: THESE OLD PEOPLE AND THEIR GROSS DRINKS
Swan: YES EXACTLY
Swan: WE ARE LITERALLY TWINNING WTF
Pronouns Yee/Haw: I did not think this was how this was going to go-
Pronouns Yee/Haw: not that I’m disappointed, I’m very proud
Pronouns Yee/Haw: Just didn’t expect Natsume-san and Aira-san to click so well :D
II HIYORI~ <3: It’s adorable when you think about it! I know Aira-kun was definitely shaking a little a lot when they decided to send the first message to Natsume-kun~
Swan: ://////
Swan: I will expose you to your unit :////////
Capitalism.: No need.
II HIYORI~ <3: SBFUSIFOWJKFH I SAY IT WITH LOVE AIRA-KUN
II HIYORI~ <3: I PROMISE IM NOT BULLYING YOU I AM VERY HAPPY FOR YOU
Capitalism.: What did you do.
Swan: *Sips tea Britishly*
Stealing BonES: I’m adopting you as my sibling and nobody can stop me.
Swan has gone offline
Phantom Mama: Pardon them, he gets flustered easily ^^;
Stealing BonES: I’ll keep that in mIND
So Smoll, Much Kawaii: Did we even introduce ourselves properly-
Mama Bee: OH SHIT YEAH-
Mama Bee : Hi I’m Rinne, I go by she/her pronouns and have two overprotective best friends TwT
Stealing BonES: Why is that sad-
Phantom Mama: She gets like that hehe…It’s a happy cry
Phantom Mama: And um- I’m Mayoi…I use She/They pronouns…But if it’s too much of an inconvenience you don’t have to worry haha ^^;;
Swan is online
Swan: Mayo-sannnnnnn :((((((((((
Phantom Mama: I uhm- I mean- Please use my preferred pronouns…
Stealing BonES: I’ll be sure to use the correct oNES.
Stealing BonES: Oh, Aira, what are your pronouNS?
Swan: Oh! I use he/they :3
Stealing BonES: Good to knOW :)
Gender Auntie: Pretty sure I’m obvious, BUT
Gender Auntie: Narukami here! I use She/They pronouns!
Stealing BonES: How could I forgET?
Stealing BonES: It would be rude considering we are both in the same ageNCY, and the same claSS.
Gender Auntie: Good point!
Capitalism.: Ibara. She/He.
Mama Bee: Hiyori-chan, did you forget to take the stick out of Vice Prez’s ass?
II HIYORI~ <3: LMAO
II HIYORI~ <3: I mean…Who says I’m the one in her ass-
Capitalism.: If you could not refer to my relationship in such a way-
Capitalism: Hiyori.
II HIYORI~ <3: Hehe~ Love ya Viper <3
Capitalism.: Sure you do.
II HIYORI~ <3: :((((((
Capitalism.: …I love you too Hiyo.
II HIYORI~ <3: Hehe <3
Swan changed II HIYORI~ <3’s name to “Snake Tamer <3”
Snake Tamer <3: At least I keep the heart-
Capitalism.: Amagi-shi is a horrible influence on you.
Snake Tamer <3: Anyway!
Snake Tamer <3 : Hiyori here! Call me anything you like, just don’t use the same pronoun in the same sentence!
Snake Tamer <3: For example, don’t say “He ate his food” but rather “He ate her/their food.” :D
Sir Gawain: Izumi, agender he/they
Sir Gawain: Welcome to hell, agender buddy
Stealing BonES: ThankS, I can feel the dread setting in alreaDY
So Smoll, Much Kawaii: TETORA NAGUMO!!
Swan: Tetora-senpai capslock ;-;
So Smoll, Much Kawaii: SUCK IT UP TWERP
So Smoll, Much Kawaii: Kidding kidding, my bad
So Smoll, Much Kawaii: He/Him transmasc at your service!!
So Smoll, Much Kawaii: ALSO WHEN WILL MY NAME BE CHANGED
So Smoll, Much Kawaii: IM TALLER THAN YOU AIRA
Swan: Fuck u that's when <3
So Smoll, Much Kawaii: I hope you trip and fall
Swan: Hilarious cause I actually just tripped and almost ate shit TvT
So Smoll, Much Kawaii: KSINUBDVYFSUHIOFDSIJ IM SO SORRY ARE YOU OKAY
Swan: IM FINE I CAUGHT MYSELF DONT WORRY
Pronouns Yee/Haw: This is why we have 3 mothers in this chat
Pronouns Yee/Haw: Anyway I'd be offended if you didn't already know me, Natsume-san
Stealing BonES: Who are yOU?
Pronouns Yee/Haw: HEY NOW
Stealing BonES: KiddinG...MayBE
Stealing BonES: AnywAY…You’re all absolutely insANE.
Mama Bee: You’ll fit right in then won’t ya? :D
Stealing BonES: …
Stealing BonES: Yeah, I will :)
Phantom Mama: Has Aira made it to your dorm yet, Natsume-san?
Stealing BonES: yeAH, they're cuddling one of my cats noW
Phantom Mama: How are the cats Aira-san?
Swan: They’re so soft and they purr
Mama Bee: He’s crying, ain’t he?
Stealing BonES: Yeah.
Stealing BonES: I’ll take care of him, don’t worry.
...Yeah, Natsume was going to like it here.