Chapter Text
Anya Forger wakes up on Saturday morning to watch a new episode of Spy Wars. Her papa is cooking in the kitchen, while her mama makes cocoa, coffee, and tea. Bond is sitting down on the floor next to her, their eyes glued to the television screen waiting for her favourite spy – well, second favourite spy – to appear.
"Anya, it's time to eat," Loid calls out to her. He places a heap of bacon onto a plate, as well as the scrambled eggs that Anya loves with some ketchup on the corner. He scoops out a couple of eggs, over-easy on Yor's plate. "Thank you, Loid-san," she says, pouring freshly-brewed coffee into his mug. Her tea is steeping in her teacup, and Yor asks Anya to come to the table as well.
The young girl senses her papa's irritation that she hasn't come for breakfast, so with a slump, she walks towards the breakfast table, making sure that Bondman hasn't made his entrance yet.
"Don't worry, Anya, I've set the TV to record Bondman, so let's eat comfortably, okay?" Yor smiles reassuringly. The youngest Forger grins, thanking her mama clumsily, as four-year-olds do. She eats the breakfast with much gusto, and Loid tells her to get changed for Bond's morning walk.
The family of four stroll together in the park, and the adults sit on a bench while they watch Anya and Bond play. She throws a ball for Bond to fetch, but Bond completely ignores the tennis ball to her dismay. She runs far off, away from Loid's and Yor's current field of vision, and discovers a frail-looking puppy shivering in the bushes. "Mister Dog, are you lost?" she uses her powers to read the dog's mind.
I'm a girl! And I'm a chihuahua! the dog thinks.
"Oh okay, sorry Miss Chiwuwa! Where are your owners? Do you need help?"
The dog is shocked at the revelation that the tiny human child can read her thoughts. She realizes that the girl must be an experiment too, just like she was.
Anya gasps, "Are you the same as Bond?" The chihuahua barks softly, not sure who or what this Bond is. "Bond's my dog! He can see the future! Anyways, do you have powers?"
"I am a portal dog," she barks in reply.
"Portal dog? What's that?"
The chihuahua moves closer to demonstrate. She barks, tearing open a hole in the fabric of space and time. Anya gasps at the sight, and sees that the portal opens up to a mysterious land of people dressed in funny costumes. She sees a building resembling a castle, and runs inside the portal as it looked exactly like the castle from Bondman, when he rescues Princess Honey from the League of Evil.
When Anya steps inside, the glowing portal to Berlint closes behind her. She starts panicking, not knowing where she was. In her panic, she begins to cry, alligator tears forming in her green eyes. "Papa! Mama!" she tries to look for an adult who could help her. She tries to use her mind-reading, but the people around her were frightened by her appearance. She must be a devil! She's got horns on her head! thinks a woman passing by. Anya wasn't sure what a devil was, but she touched her hair self-consciously, wanting to hide from the scary people around her. She runs away, hoping to run into the portal dog, Bond—anyone, even Uncle Yuri or Fiona—but everyone looks really different. Not good.
She continues to cry, until a lady with blonde hair and blue eyes appears, holding a basket on her arm. She looks a little bit like Papa. Maybe she can help? Papa's lookalike stoops down to Anya's eye level, "Are you okay?"
"Anya is lost. I followed a portal doggy and then I was here," she said in between fits of hiccups.
"Hello, Anya, my name is Charlotte. Where are your parents?"
"Anya doesn't know where Mama and Papa are."
"Don't worry. I'm sure your parents are worried and are looking for you," Charlotte says, patting Anya's head reassuringly. Based on her thoughts, Anya believes that Charlotte is a nice lady and follows her. What she said earlier also comforted Anya; her papa is a master spy, after all. She stops crying, confident that Loid will find her wherever she may be.
"Hmm, do you remember where you came from?"
Anya shakes her head no. It was the park across the street from her house, but Papa told her not to tell her address to strangers.
"That's okay, Anya. We'll go around the market together, is that alright?" Charlotte asks, holding out her hand for Anya to hold. She nods. As they were walking around, a big, scary man appears. The lady's thoughts had been focused on finding her parents until she saw the scary man. Charlotte's face turned beet red and her thoughts became jumbled, to Anya's amusement. Anya could hear her thoughts, Y-Y-Yami?! Why is he here? I mean, the market is a public place, but why here? The scary-looking man walks towards them, and Papa's lookalike squeezes Anya's hand a little tighter.
"Yo, Prickly Queen," he waves, a deadpan expression on his face. He glances down at Anya, who is hiding behind Charlotte's skirt. She intrudes on his thoughts out of curiosity, and finds that he's complaining of a stomachache, just like her Papa.
"What's with the kid, Prickly Queen?" he asks, cocking an eyebrow at the little girl's strange appearance.
"Anya is looking for my Mama and Papa," Anya answers, "Charlotte nee-san is helping me."
"Oh? Aren't you off-duty right now?" glancing at the casually-dressed captain.
"Well, it isn't like I could resist," Charlotte mutters, cheeks flushed. "Anyhow, this is Anya. Anya, this is Yami."
The little girl studies Yami, wondering what it is about this man that has Charlotte in such a frenzy. Seeing him, she is reminded of Mama: jet-black hair, similarly scary eyes, and he looks super strong too. Suddenly, Charlotte's reactions make perfect sense to Anya—it's exactly how Mama reacts when Papa comes home sweaty from a mission. Heh.
In order to pass the time, Anya hatches a plan to get these people together while she waits for her parents to rescue her. "Nee-san, Anya is hungry," she says, rubbing her belly and overplaying the pain in her act.
"Sure, I'll take you somewhere to eat." Charlotte is a little disappointed to let Yami go so fast, but Anya quickly adds, "Can scary Nii-san come too?"
"Ah, I'm sure he has plans—"
"Yeah, I'm not busy," Yami shrugs.
The three of them walk together towards a restaurant nearby. The pink-haired telepath holds Charlotte's hand, and is listening to her thoughts. Oh my god, I can't believe I'm going out with Yami and this little girl right now! I'm so excited! Anya smiles, and looks to her left to see Yami, whose arms are crossed as they walked together. Anya reaches out her hand to Yami's, who grunts but obliges. His hands are massive, so she could only hold two of his fingers comfortably. At this point, she can hear Charlotte nee-san's thoughts as if she were speaking them out loud. Wait! Why are we acting like a family?! Oh my god, could you imagine? Is this what it'd be like if Yami and I had a b-b-baby together?!? A baby with Y-Yami!?? Oh but wait, I wonder what other people are thinking right now... They're probably thinking malicious thoughts, aren't they?
The small girl looks around and uses her powers to discern the thoughts of those in their vicinity. People's thoughts ranged from Aww, what a cute family! to Woah, is that Charlotte Roselei?! Did she have a baby? With that foreigner?? Good for her! Very positive overall, so Anya wonders where Charlotte's insecurities are coming from.
Anya shifts her attention to Yami's thoughts and listens in, Hmm, lucky that I ran into Prickly Queen here. I'm getting hungry but I lost all my money gambling last night. Knowing her, she'd probably pay for the kid's meal. Good thing the kid asked if I could come, he looks to his right and catches Anya staring up at him. Anya looks away in embarrassment, but is overall pleased with her handiwork.
As they walk across the market, Anya spots a stall selling peanuts, and begs Charlotte for a bag. "Peanuts! Peanuts! Peanuts!" she chants excitedly, running towards the stall. The Blue Rose captain fishes out her purse and pays for a bag, and Anya hugs her legs to thank her for the food. She pats Anya's head, who overhears Yami's thoughts about how nice it must be to receive the Prickly Queen's kindness.
The three of them arrive at a restaurant, where they are greeted by a red-haired woman carrying a baby on her back. The red-haired lady looks at Yami suspiciously, thinking Isn't that Asta's captain? And isn't this Captain Charlotte Roselei? What are they doing here...? She looks down and sees Anya smiling sheepishly. And there's a kid too?! Huh. Maybe the magic knights have a better work-life balance than I thought.. She directs them towards a booth in the corner of the diner, at Charlotte's request. Anya can tell that nee-san's feeling a bit antsy about being seen in public with scary nii-san and her. It sounds like she's an important person and she's worried about her image, an adult problem that Anya is all too familiar with.
Her little legs swing over the booth, where she is sitting beside Charlotte. Yami is sitting across the table and is thinking about wanting to smoke a cigarette, but is worried about what nee-san would say. Charlotte breaks the ice and asks, "Anya, what do your parents look like?"
"Hmmm... My Papa looks like you. He has yellow hair and blue eyes. He's the best papa in the world! And my mama kind of looks like nii-san. She has black hair and when she's doing work, she has scary eyes too. She's super strong and she teaches me how to fight!"
Charlotte is blushing at the comparison Anya made between her parents and her parents for the day. Yami found it amusing, but didn't say very much. Wonder what kind of mom Prickly Queen would be like, he thinks. Anya tilts her head sideways, but their food arrives, distracting her. She smiles at Charlotte gratefully, appreciating the delicious steam coming off her pasta and warming her face, before realizing that Loid wasn't there to cut the noodles for her. She tries to remember how to eat pasta as Papa had shown her before, twisting the noodles awkwardly around her fork, but the thick sauce on the noodles makes it somewhat difficult. Charlotte sees the little girl's struggle and moves the plate towards her, cutting the noodles into more manageable pieces.
"Thank you, nee-san!"
Charlotte smiles warmly, surprising Yami mid-bite. He watches Charlotte with interest at the newfound side to her often cold and aloof personality. Huh, I guess she can be kinda sweet. Anya catches the comment and grins, which Yami sees. Something about this little girl is bothering him. Can she read ki? Or maybe minds? Anya panics and her eyes widen at Yami's thoughts, slurping her pasta to hide her anxiety over being found out as a telepath.
"Hey kid, where do you live? Maybe we can take you there," Yami asks.
"Anya is from Berlint!"
"Never heard of Berlint before. Have you?" Yami asks Charlotte, who shakes her head no.
"I don't know, nii-san. Master Henderson says Anya is not very good at gymography," she says shyly.
Just then, a bolt of magic whizzes through the air of the restaurant, hitting the wall where Anya is sitting. The little girl is alarmed and clutches onto Charlotte with fear in her eyes. Charlotte blocks Anya from the source of the attack and looks for the assailant, but there is nobody there. They pay for the meal and leave, worried that whoever it is will attack again and that more people will be hurt in the confined space.
While walking outside the restaurant, Anya hones in on an angry voice in the midst of the crowd. It's all that darn Charlotte's fault! I'm gonna get her this time around! She looks around and catches a glimpse of their attacker. Using ki, Yami detects malicious intent coming from around the corner. But before he could get a step ahead of the game, another spell flies through the air, drawing itself towards Charlotte. She produces a spell to shield Anya and herself from the attack.
"The bad guy's over there, nii-san!" Anya screams, pointing towards a dark alley. Yami nods and unsheathes his sword, a crescent of dark magic slicing through the air and knocking the mysterious man down. Yami leaps forward and lands on the attacker, stomping on the man with his boot.
"Are you okay, Anya? Are you hurt?" Charlotte asks the girl who appears unfazed by the whole ordeal. The little girl ignores her question and runs towards Yami, whose foot is stepping on the enemy's back, a scowl on his face. "What're you attackin' women and children for, jerk?"
The man hisses at Yami and casts a venomous look at Charlotte. Anya can hear the anguish in his thoughts, Stupid Roselei! I can't believe she put me in jail! Anya gasps, realizing that Charlotte is more similar to Loid than she previously thought. Is nee-san a spy too?! Charlotte recognizes the man as a thief whom she recently apprehended, and restricts him with briar vines.
"You should have minded your business instead of trying to attack us," the blonde woman says coldly, "Now you'll be rotting in prison for another couple of months at least."
A few magic knights on-duty arrive at the scene and take the man away into custody, leaving the trio alone again. Anya hovers around Yami, eyeing his blade with much curiosity. "Nii-san, what was that?? Can you teach Anya how to fight?!"
Yami grins and flexes his muscles. Anya could hear Charlotte's thoughts mimicking the sound effect of a beating heart: Badump, badump, badump. The little girl smiles again, and asks Yami if she could see his sword.
Yami motions to the hilt on his hip, but finds Charlotte frowning. Anya could hear the conflict in nee-san's mind, but unfortunately, her more sensible thoughts won. The muscular captain pats Anya's head, "Sorry kid, I can't. She's gonna kill me."
Anya scrunches her face in thought. Maybe if Charlotte nee-san looks like Papa, that might work on her too...? Putting her plan into action, the little girl tugs on Charlotte's skirt and pouts in the most heart-stirring way imaginable. With green eyes brimming with tears, Anya asks, "Please, nee-san? Anya wants to see his sword..."
Charlotte heaves out a sigh, "Fine, but—" Before she could lay down some ground rules, Yami has already taken his sword out of its scabbard and is holding it for Anya to see.
"Waku-waku!" Anya exclaims. "It's like Mama's knives! But giant!"
Yami squats down and holds the blade out for Anya to see, "It's called a katana. A sword, see?" He twists the handle side-to-side, its sharp edges shining in the sunlight.
"Ooooh, a kabana?"
"Katana," Yami corrects her, and wields the sword on his right hand. He motions for her to stand between his arms, "Here, I'll show ya how to hold it. Gotta be careful though, it's really heavy."
Anya bobs her head excitedly as she makes her way into Yami's arms. When she stands in position, Yami tells Anya to hold the hilt with two hands. She gasps as the blade nearly drops down to the ground from the sheer weight of the thing, but Yami supports the blade and Anya's hands before it clatters on the floor. "Careful, little girl."
The telepath makes whooshing noises and mimics Yami's serious face, "You slash the bad guys like this?!" She moves the sword around, and Yami follows her movements, chuckling at the girl's impression of him. "How did you cut him when you're so far away?"
"Like this," Yami says. Dark magic seeps out of Yami's hands and coats the blade, turning it pitch black. "I use my magic to cut them."
Anya makes an excited sound, "Magic?! Papa says magic is just tricks! So it's real?"
Yami looks at Charlotte, whose face is currently redder than Zora's hair. "Do you not have magic, kid?"
Anya wasn't sure how to answer the question. Does reading minds count as magic? Probably not, though she wanted to be as cool as nii-san and have magic, too, so she lies, "Anya has magic! But not like that..."
The captains shrug it off. The little girl couldn't be older than four, so they simply believed that she was not fully comprehending the question. Still, the strange horns on her head makes Yami wonder, Is this kid a devil-host too? She's got horns on her head.
Anya reflexively touches her hair and covers them with her hands to keep Yami from seeing. He gives her another curious look. How did she know I was looking there...?
Anya shakes her head and ducks under Yami's outstretched arms, running behind Charlotte's legs. In her excitement over seeing the cool sword, Anya had drowned out the woman's thoughts, but now, she can hear them firing off rapidly.
Yami teaching her how to hold a sword...! And the way his muscles moved... Ah, but children shouldn't be exposed to such dangerous weapons. But Yami was being so gentle with her... He'd make such a great father. Agh, how could I fall for such a man?!
The pink-haired girl looks up at Charlotte and back at Yami, now putting his katana away, quietly regarding the little girl. Her head swivels back and forth between the two captains, but their thoughts are not aligned at all. In her limited understanding, Anya can tell that Charlotte harbours feelings for Yami, but she wonders if it's the same way as Fiona loves Twilight, or if it's the same way Mama loves Papa? She hopes it was the latter, and another devious idea makes a smile spread across her face.
The girl runs back to Yami and tugs on his pant leg, "Hey nii-san, are you nee-san's boyfriend?"
The sudden question makes Charlotte sputter violently. She tries to dispute the assessment, but is inwardly ecstatic that this girl would think otherwise. Yami raises a brow, "No, Prickly Queen here hates me."
"Hm?" Anya smiles suspiciously at Charlotte, "Are you sure?"
The male captain casts a glance at his colleague and a trace of a smirk plays on his lips. It would be unnoticeable to the untrained eye, but luckily, Anya could hear the man's thoughts on the matter very clearly. She's not so bad. I wouldn't mind her at all.
"Anya, I'm sure your parents are worried sick about you," Charlotte manages to say, feeling slightly rejected by Yami's lack of response. "Thank you for handling the attacker, but we should get going," she says to Yami.
Anya pouts, sad to see the man go. "He can't stay with us, nee-san?"
"I'm sure Captain Yami has other things to do."
"I don't mind," he says, "Consider it as thanks for buyin' me food."
Charlotte clenches her jaws to keep herself from squealing with happiness over being able to spend her day off with the love of her life. Anya thinks of another way to get them to flirt, and recalls that shared activities are a great way to bring people together.
In the distance, Anya spots a tall ferris wheel and she points excitedly at the ride, "Let's look for Mama and Papa there!"
"The carnival? I'm not sure we'll find them there, Anya," Charlotte says.
"You might get even more lost in there," Yami adds.
"It's okay, Charlotte nee-san and Yami nii-san, Papa can find Anya anywhere!" She sees another child walking in their direction, holding a large bag of popcorn, "Waku-waku!" Anya says, running towards the carnival.
The captains relent, and the trio make their way to the fair. "Now, Anya, you have to promise to stay with us, okay? If you see your parents, let us know, but don't leave our side," Charlotte says tenderly.
Anya can hear Yami's silent appreciation for Charlotte's gentleness, She's pretty great with kids. It's good to see her being nice.
The telepath is pleased that her plan seems to be working so far. She nods and grabs hold of both Yami's and Charlotte's hands, one on each side. "Don't worry, nee-san! Anya will hold your hands, so let's go on an ooting!"