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When he lost his grandfather, he felt lost.
When his spikers rejected him, he felt lost.
When one of his fellow setters called him a goody-two-shoes, he felt lost.
When Hinata collapsed, the entire world stopped for a moment.
When one by one his senpai's left, he felt lost...
But after everything, he has never felt more lost than now.
Shoyo was leaving.
He was leaving for Brazil in two months without Tobio, and there was no way he could follow. Tobio struggled to understand the decision. Shoyo wasn't the same as back then when they lost the nationals for the first time. He had improved a great deal, and was easily recognized as one of the most talented players in high school volleyball. He improved his receives and had a killer serve. Hinata became Shoyo and Kageyama became Tobio along the way.
So it wasn't a surprise when they both got scouted for Schweiden Adlers at their last nationals. They were both great players on their own and their combination could leave their opponents in dust. Adlers needed new talent, considering the players that joined pro leagues after high school. Miya, Bokuto and Sakusa combination was proving to be undefeatable in matches and having the demon duo would increase their winning possibility.
Tobio was excited to play volleyball with Shoyo at pro leagues. No matter what anyone said, every setter had a favourite spiker and Shoyo was undoubtedly his. He became something more than his rival. Tobio found a partner in Shoyo that he didn't find in anyone else. And in all honesty, he didn't want anyone else.
So when Shoyo refused their offer, Tobio didn't know what to feel. He felt lost. Shoyo claimed that he wanted to get better at Volleyball, but Tobio didn't see why. Shoyo was one of the most talented players Tobio knew. Even then, Shoyo could improve while playing for Adlers, with Tobio. But with Shoyo wanting to leave, Tobio feared the implication. Was he hindering his partner's growth? Was he nothing more than a cage, clipping away his wings? While Tobio's brain knew it wasn't the case being rational was the last thing Tobio could think of at the moment.
He ran away the moment he heard the words fall out of Shoyo's mouth. He hated the fact that Shoyo too looked pained by those words when he was the one who uttered them. Tobio had grown fond of his little partner in the passing years. While he could imagine playing for different teams, he found himself unable to imagine a future without the tangerine haired boy by his side, teasing the life out of him. Now that it was soon going to happen, Tobio felt lost than he had ever before.
A small part of it was jealousy.
Shoyo had been the first one to accept him, to hit each and every one of his tosses without discriminating. The first one who gave an effort to understand him, the first one to disagree with his decisions without abandoning him. He communicated on his behalf when he found it too hard to put his thoughts in to words. He was the first person whom Tobio could pass notes in class and could whisper little secrets to ear. Whom he counted on to be his partner in projects, even without exchanging any words. They had become attached each others hips as if it was natural, to the point where people found it strange to see one without the other.
Shoyo was Tobio's spiker and soon he won't be anymore. While he wanted to play against Shoyo, it had never occurred to him that Shoyo would be someone else's spiker other than his. Tobio quickly found out that he didn't like the idea one bit.
The two months flew in a flash. Tobio regretted the fact that it took him two weeks to speak to Shoyo without getting upset. Things progressed fast after that. They visited all the places they had been planning to, they took pictures and ate out with the whole team, passing their roles to the soon to be third years. It had been a teary event and most left with teary eyes. He could swear that he saw Kei wipe his tears no matter how much the tall blonde denied the fact.
Now standing in the airport bidding Shoyo goodbye, Tobio had no idea how to feel. While he wanted to be happy for his partner, the aching in his heart made it impossible to do so. The impossibly tight hug Shoyo gave him was the his final straw before he broke in to ugly sobs for the first time since his grandfather's death. After two months of feeling like he was floating, Tobio finally felt grounded. He didn't want to stop wailing for a long time. What finally made him stop was the trembling shoulders of the boy in his arms. He had tears in both his eyes, but still looked like every bit of the person Tobio had grown fond of over the time. Tobio felt the urge to never let go and to keep him by his side.
Shoyo's flight call was what had finally separated the two crying boys, and Tobio wanted to bawl his eyes out again after seeing the back of his partner growing smaller. Kei had the decency to not to mention it after that.
Tobio began his professional volleyball career as Adler's setter, the genius setter who had no problem of syncing with any player he wanted. The world got to know him as Kageyama Tobio and not as Hinata Shoyo's partner. The world got to know him and they forgot about his partner, who he missed dearly. While volleyball still felt like ecstasy, while the court felt like paradise, while every win felt like a sip of ambrosia; there was an empty space in his heart and every thing tasted a bit bitter.
Tobio had never felt anything other than respect and rivalry for Oikawa Toru. But the moment he saw the photo of a certain orange haired boy next to him, it all flew out the window. All he felt for the brunette right now was jealousy, for getting to play with his partner before him. And not for the first time nor the last, he longed for his best friend to be by his side. The first two years of his professional career felt like the longest two years of his life and Tobio had no idea about how he got through it without a break down.
What finally snapped his last string of sanity had been the orange haired boy himself. Or rather it was the setter who claimed Shoyo his spiker, when Tobio had been waiting for the spiker for two whole years which felt like an eternity. While he desperately wanted to hug the boy, Tobio felt forgotten flames of anger rising within him once again. Has his partner improved without Tobio? Was everything worth it? He so desperately needed to know.
Shoyo didn't disappoint Tobio's expectations he exceeded them like he has always done so. No matter how much Tobio disliked Shoyo's decision, he couldn't deny the fact that his little partner had indeed improved a lot. He felt excitement bubbling inside him just from thinking of the future matches they were going to play. His heart felt full in a long time. Shoyo of course hadn't escaped his bone crushing hug after the game. Later that day at the Karasuno reunion he found out that a drunk Hinata Shoyo was not good for his heart.
Toboi kept counting the number of games he played against the human tangerine without missing a single one. Victories and defeats stacked up at a steady pace and his irritation towards the team's setter kept growing day by day. While he enjoyed playing against Shoyo, he preferred to play with him and the setter that actually got a chance to play with him kept rubbing it all over his face.
Volleyball fans began to increase all around the world at a rapid pace and they became known as the "Monster Generation." Tobio got an offer to join the Japan Olympic team in what he could describe as the peak of his career. But what had him curling his toes in excitement wasn't the big stage many dreamed play on. It was the knowledge who his spiker would be.
At the international stage, under the watchful gaze of people, standing side by side with Shoyo as his partner, he felt at home in a long time. His heart was at ease and he felt like a wandering ship finally reaching it's destination. He felt like he was on top of the world looking at his partner's grin with adrenaline pumping through his veins.
For all the times Kageyama Tobio felt lost, he felt like someone had finally found him.
"As long as I'm here, you are invisible"