Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Getting a new student in May was hardly the usual, so of course Aone’s homeroom was buzzing. 

They’d gotten back from Golden Week yesterday and that was when they were informed of a transfer student joining their class.

Aone didn’t have any friends in his class – he didn’t have any friends, period – so he contented himself with staring at his open English textbook. He wasn’t absorbing any of the information, but it made for a good cover. He was just at interested as the rest of the class in the transfer student.

The door slid open and the room fell silent as their homeroom teacher entered, followed by the new student. 

He was tall, possibly nearing Aone’s height, with brown hair and a scowl. He had a bandage on his cheek and what looked like the remnants of a black eye.

“Introduce yourself,” Yamamoto-sensei commanded. 

“I’m Futakuchi Kenji. I’m from Tokyo.” 

A murmur ran through the room, but it was cut off when Futakuchi glared at them.

“I wanted to put you in the front, but you’re too tall,” Yamamoto-sensei said. “Why don’t you sit next to Aone-kun? Aone-kun, raise your hand.”

Aone did as he was told and Futakuchi started to make his way over to Aone. As he got closer, Aone was able to tell that he looked even rougher than he thought, with almost-healed cuts on his face and neck as well as still-healing knuckles. 

Standing, Aone started to move his things to the rightmost desk. 

Aone sat alone in the last row of the center desks. There were three desks in his row and he typically sat in the center one, allowing him more room to spread out. With his new deskmate, however, he thought it would be rude. It seemed pretty obvious that he should move over, not just because he took up a lot of room, but because his new deskmate was just as tall and would probably appreciate the extra room.  

“Don’t wanna’ sit next to me?” Futakuchi sneered as he took his place at the leftmost desk.

Aone looked at him quizzically, surprised that this stranger would care. Most people didn’t want to sit next to him and would probably be glad to see him move a seat away. 

Aone wanted to explain himself, but the familiar feeling of anxiety stopped him so he just shrugged. This only seemed to make Futakuchi look angrier, his sneer turning into anger. 

“You have a problem with me?”

Again, Aone wanted to answer, but he could feel the way his throat had closed up, making it impossible to speak. He simply shook his head and sat down in his new chair.

Futakuchi was obviously caught off guard by Aone’s response, but after a moment his scowl returned and, with a huff, he just turned to face the front, crossing his arms and leaning slightly back.

The entire morning, Futakuchi maintained that same position. He likely didn’t have any textbooks yet, but he also didn’t take out a notebook or something to write with. Aone wanted to ask if he needed a pen or something, but decided against it. How would he ask when he couldn’t speak?

At lunch, Futakuchi put his head down and promptly fell asleep. He didn’t wake up until the end of the day, only waking up when the final bell rang. 

Even when he woke up, however, he didn’t move, just staring crossly forward. 

Just as Aone finished putting his stuff away, the door slid open to reveal a student Aone knew by sight, but whose name he couldn’t recall. He thought he was a second-year, but even that he wasn’t certain of. 

“Futakuchi,” he said, his voice harsh and clipped. “Come on.”

Futakuchi rose and headed to join him, not speaking as he followed him out of the room. Everyone left in the room was similarly quiet, though they began to talk as soon as the door closed.

“How does the new guy know Kamasaki-senpai?” Someone asked. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” One of their friends said. “Just look at the two of them. New guy’s definitely a thug or something.”

“Kamasaki-senapi isn’t a thug,” a third replied. 

“How can you think that? Have you even seen him? Bleached hair? And he obviously works out a lot.”

“He does sports! If course he works out.”

“Either way,” the first person cut in. “The new guy is definitely here because he’s in trouble with the law, right?”

“Probably yakuza,” the second friend said, only for his friends to shush him loudly. “What? I’m not afraid of him. He’s a long way from whatever gang he was in in Tokyo.” 

Aone turned to glare at the group. Futakuchi’s business was his own and Aone wasn’t a fan of speculative gossip. Or really any gossip, but when it was so mean-spirited, it rubbed him the wrong way. 

One of the friends noticed Aone staring and shushed his friend, gesturing for them to leave. Only when they had left the room did Aone hike his bag onto his shoulder and head out. 

---

Futakuchi continued the same routine for the rest of the week. No pens or pencils, no notebook, and certainly no textbook. He slept from lunch onwards and, for some reason, none of the teachers seemed to care. They never tried to call on him or talk to him in any way. They mostly seemed to ignore him. The teachers here weren’t the best, but this was more negligent than usual.

On Monday, Aone got to school early, slipping into their classroom to leave a notebook on Futakuchi’s desk. He’d gone to the 100-yen shop the day before and picked it up. It took him a long time to decide because there weren’t any plain notebooks left, but he thought the one he picked would be fine. It had a small, cute bear face on it, but surely was better than the even cuter notebooks that had been the other options. 

Looking at it for a moment, he rummaged through his bag to find a marker and drew a pair of angry eyebrows on it, hoping that would make it seem less cute. 

Leaving the notebook along with a pen, Aone slipped out of the room, not wanting to be there when students started to arrive. He hung around the sports building, pretending like he belonged there until he thought it was late enough to go to class.

Despite trying to arrive later than usual, he arrived at the same time as Futakuchi, nodding to him and letting him enter the classroom first. Futakuchi gave him an odd look but didn’t say anything to him.

Aone hadn’t even made it to his desk before Futakuchi was talking.

“What the hell?” He asked the room, picking up the notebook. “Is this some kind of joke?” 

The room was deathly quiet as everyone looked on, some confused and others fearful. Aone didn’t know what he’d expected to happen when Futakuchi saw the notebook, but he hadn’t expected anger. 

“Who put this here?”

Nobody moved, a few friends glancing at each other and some eyeing the door as if they needed to escape. 

“Nobody’s gonna fess up?” 

After a moment of wondering if he should say nothing, Aone decided that would just make things worse and raised his hand. Futakuchi wasn’t facing him, so it took until everyone else turned to look at Aone for Futakuchi to notice.

“You? He sneered. “What’s your problem?”

Aone shook his head, not able to speak with so many eyes on him. Maybe if it were just the two of them talking, he would’ve been able to explain himself, but he doubted that.

“No? What does that mean?” Aone shook his head again. “You makin’ fun of me?”

With another shake of his head, Futakuchi’s anger seemed to dissolve into confusion as he just looked at Aone, eyes narrowed. 

“You’re a weirdo,” he finally said, sitting down with a huff.

The rest of the class went by as usual, though this time Futakuchi took notes.

---

On Tuesday, Futakuchi didn’t come to class. 

Surprisingly, Aone felt a little lonely without his seatmate even though they’d only been sitting together for a week. 

None of the teachers asked if anyone knew where he was. None of them asked for someone to bring Futakuchi the day’s notes. They all but ignored his absence in the same way they ignored his sleeping.

At the end of the day, Kamasaki arrived as usual, hands in his pockets and a bored look on his face.

“Futakuchi, let’s– Where is he?” 

Aone looked up from packing his bag to see Kamasaki walking towards him, annoyance plain on his face. He felt nervousness already growing in his chest and he hoped Kamasaki wouldn’t ask anything too complex. Well, he really hoped Kamasaki didn’t ask anything, but he knew that was probably a lost cause.

“You sit next to Futakuchi, right?” Aone nodded. “Was he in class today?”

Aone shook his head, Kamasaki’s look of annoyance turning to concern for a moment before it went back to irritation.

“I’m supposed to walk him home so he doesn’t get lost,” Kamasaki explained for reasons Aone didn’t understand. “He’s my cousin, so I’ve gotta look out for him.”

Aone nodded, not sure what to say, but hoping others in the class were listening. It made a lot of sense that they were related and that should stop a lot of the nastier gossip Aone had heard. Then again, it might just make the gossip worse, since in Aone’s experience, more information didn’t necessarily make people nicer. 

“What’s your name?”

Aone opened his mouth to speak – it was just his name – but no sound came out. Kamasaki continued to look at him, waiting, until one of the few people left in class spoke.

“He doesn’t talk.”

“Huh?” Kamasaki looked at Aone with the same quizzical look Futakuchi had given him. “Well, okay, then. I’m Kamasaki Yasushi. Please take care of Futakuchi. Also, have you ever considered playing volleyball?”

Aone blinked at Kamasaki, not sure how to respond to any of what he said. Take care of Futakuchi? He could try, but he was pretty sure Futakuchi didn’t like him, so it didn’t seem possible. And volleyball? He’d given up on team sports in junior high school. How could he possibly play a team sport when he couldn’t even tell someone his name?

Aone decided on shaking his head, hoping Kamasaki knew his no was in reference to volleyball.

“You should think about it,” Kamasaki told him. “You might be good at it.” 

Without waiting for a response, Kamasaki turned and left the classroom and all Aone could do was watch.

---

Futakuchi was back in school on Wednesday, wearing his winter uniform despite it being time for summer uniforms. He wasn’t wearing the jacket – he might have passed out if he was because even in Miyagi the summers were hot – but he was wearing a tie and long sleeve button-down.

Aone didn’t comment. None of their classmates commented. The teachers didn’t comment.

There was something else different today and that was that at lunch, Futakuchi didn’t put his head down and fall asleep. He didn’t move, either, and only now did it hit Aone that Futakuchi never ate lunch.

A few minutes into lunch, Futakuchi turned to look at Aone, an odd expression on his face. He turned and looked around the room before turning back to Aone. 

“You eat alone?”

Aone nodded, taking a bite of his fish. He paused for a moment and then reached into his bag, pulling out an extra onigiri and holding it out to Futakuchi.

“What?” Aone didn’t move. “Are you seriously making fun of me again?”

Aone shook his head and put the onigiri down on Futakuchi’s desk before going back to his own meal. 

“I don’t need your pity if that’s what this is.”

Aone shook his head again, swallowing a mouthful of rice and forcing himself to speak, the word low and rough.

“Eat.”

“So you can talk,” Futakuchi responded, smirking. 

Aone nodded, looking around to see if anyone heard him. Luckily, it seemed like nobody had, which would be for the best. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to his classmates, he just knew he couldn’t. If they started to think he could talk but didn’t want to, things would only get worse. 

“This is a weird school, ya know?” Futakuchi commented. “They don’t make you talk and they don’t get me in trouble for sleeping. I don’t get it.”

Aone shrugged because he didn’t totally understand it either. He was pretty sure at this point it was because their teachers didn’t expect much of them. They were kids at a vocational high school in the countryside of Northern Japan. It would probably be weirder if their teachers cared. 

Futakuchi opened his notebook and pushed it towards Aone.

“If you don’t want to talk, then just write.” 

Thanks, Aone wrote.

“As much as I like to hear my own voice, it would be pretty boring for both of us if I was the only one who could talk.” Futakuchi smirked, taking a bite of the onigiri. “What was your name again?”

Aone Takanobu.

“That’s an old man's name,” Futakuchi informed him, his mouth full. 

Aone shrugged, Futakuchi laughing at him. 

“You’re a funny guy,” he said. 

Why are you wearing your tie? Aren't you hot? Aone inquired.

“I am pretty hot, aren’t I?” Futakuchi said with a smirk. It was a clear deflection of the question and Aone thought about pushing him but reminded himself that this was the first time they’d really talked, so he shouldn’t push things. “Why’d you get me this notebook?”

You never used a notebook.

“Ever think I’m just a bad student?”

Aone didn’t know how to respond to that, his hand hovering above the paper as he tried to understand Futakuchi. One moment he was aggressive, yelling at anyone who looked at him wrong. And the next, like now, he was making jokes and acting like he didn’t have a care in the world. 

You don’t look like a bad student.  

At that, Futakuchi laughed loudly. Aone ducked his head as other students turned to look at them, though Futakuchi didn’t seem to care.

“You really are a funny guy,” Futakuchi told him. 

That was the first-day Futakuchi didn’t sleep through afternoon classes. Instead, he spent most of the time passing notes to Aone.

Aone was wary of what seemed to be interest from Futakuchi. He’s had enough bad experiences to know that outward kindness wasn’t always sincere. He knew that what might seem like friendship could quickly turn bad, assuming it was ever actually good, to begin with.

Even so, he thought that maybe, maybe , this was real.

Chapter Text

Every lunch was the same now. Aone would write notes and Futakuchi would eat the food Aone gave him. Aone wondered if maybe Futakuchi was just talking to him because of the food but even if that was the case, he didn’t really care. 

It was the third week since Futakuchi came to Dateko and today Aone had brought him some inarizushi. 

“Do you need glasses?” Futakuchi asked between mouthfuls of his lunch. “You squint at the board a lot.”

Kind of. But it’s not that bad.

“You should get glasses, you’ll get wrinkles if you keep squinting. And it makes you look scarier.”

Aone hadn’t considered that his squinting could make him look scarier than he already was. 

“And you should ask the teacher to sit closer to the board. It’s not fair for you to sit all the way back here if you have trouble seeing.”

I’m too tall . 

“So what? There are plenty of desks not being used. They could move the class around so you can see and you wouldn’t be blocking anyone.” Futakuchi scowled. “If anyone around here gave a damn about the students, they’d do it. I didn’t go to a great school in Tokyo, but the teachers there at least acted like they cared.”

Most of us just need a diploma.

“And what if you were a super genius or something? They could be totally wasting your talents.”

The door to the classroom opened and the room got quiet as Yamamoto-sensei entered. Not only was lunch not over, but their next class was math, so there was no reason for their homeroom teacher to be there. 

He took a moment and then walked over to Futakuchi and Aone.

“Futakuchi-kun, your father is here to bring you to your appointment.” 

Futakuchi went stiff, the scowl from before bleeding away and leaving an expression Aone hadn’t seen on Futauchi’s face before. 

He looked afraid.

“Did he say what appointment?” Futakuchi asked.

“No. You don’t know your own plans? You’re old enough to know.” 

“Sorry,” Futakuchi said, ducking his head. “And sorry, Aone-kun, I can’t finish lunch today.” 

Futakuchi stood and packed his bag quickly, leaving his half eaten lunch behind and following the homeroom teacher outside.

Aone didn’t know why Futauchi was so afraid, but he wanted nothing more than to help him. He thought they might be friends and he wanted his new friend to be okay.

Aone wished he could’ve said something to Futakuchi, but fear had kept his mouth shut, his last note left unfinished. 

---

The next day, Futakuchi wasn’t in class and the teacher didn’t seem to care. Their homeroom teacher didn’t even ask if anyone knew where he was despite having seen Futakuchi and Aone hanging out at lunch.

Aone felt angry and frustrated in a way he hadn’t before. It wasn’t like he expected the teachers to be better, but they should be. Futakuchi might be a little rough around the edges, but he was still a student who should be taken care of. 

Aone raised his hand as homeroom was ending. The look of shock on Yamamoto-sensei’s face was obvious as he froze before finally acknowledging Aone.

“Yes, Aone-kun?”

Aone stood, feeling too big in his skin, and mustered up as much courage as he could. He could already feel his throat closing, but he knew he was the only one who cared about Futakuchi.

He pointed at the empty seat next to him.

“I’ll bring the handouts.” 

“What? Oh, for Futakuchi-kun?”

Aone nodded, hoping he wouldn’t be asked any clarifying questions since the eyes of all his classmates made him feel like he was going to be sick. 

“Oh, alright…” Yamamoto-sensei looked at a girl in the front row. “Nakada-san, can you ask the teachers to give handouts for Futakuchi-kun to Aone-kun?” 

Aone bowed first to Yamamoto-sensei and then to Nakada-san before sitting back down. 

---

Aone’s grand plan had been to wait for Kamasaki and give the handouts to him, but Kamasaki never showed up. Obviously, he’d been told Futakuchi would be absent today, meaning he wouldn’t be showing up.

He remembered how Kamasaki asked him if he played volleyball and decided to go find volleyball practice. It made sense to him that Kamasaki would be on the team if he was telling Aone he should play.

Not wanting to bother anyone during practice, Aone crouched near the gym doors and waited, hoping the practice wouldn’t run too late. Just to be safe, he texted his mom to tell her he was trying a club today, something he knew she wanted him to do. 

He didn’t know how long he'd been waiting when he heard people inside starting to clean up. The doors to the gym opened and someone stepped outside, turned in his direction, and then screamed. 

Aone froze, looking at the girl who’d just noticed him, uncertain what to do. She was soon joined by another girl, who looked like a third-year.

“Mai-chan, are you okay?” Seeing Aone, the older girl glared at him. “Did he do something?”

Aone stood up, bowing deeply to both of them as way of apology, knowing he wasn’t going to be able to voice his thoughts. 

“I’m alright, Chiba-senpai,” Mai said, smiling as she took a deep breath. “I was just surprised. He didn’t do anything.” 

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.” Mai looked curiously at Aone. “Oh, you’re a first-year, right? I think I remember seeing you at the opening ceremony.”

Aone nodded, guessing Mai was a first-year also. 

“I’m Nametsu Mai,” she introduced. “One of the managers of the boy’s volleyball team.”

“I’m Chiba Saki,” the other girl said, still looking suspicious of Aone. “I’m a third-year. What do you want? Why were you waiting out here?”

Aone opened his mouth even though he knew no sound would come out. The girls watched him try to speak before Chiba finally sighed. 

“Are you here for the volleyball team?”

Aone didn’t know how to respond to that. He wasn’t here for the team, but he did want someone on the team. He wished he could just talk, but then remembered his phone. Typing a quick note, he showed it to Mai and Chiba.

I need to give these to Kamasaki-senpai.

“Oh,” Mai said with a smile. “I guess you didn’t want to bother us?”

Aone nodded and Mai stepped back into the gym.

“Kamasaki-senpai, someone’s here to see you,” she called.

“Who is it?”

“A first-year student.” 

“Futakuchi is sick, though," was the confused response.

“It’s not Futakuchi-kun.”

Footsteps followed that statement and Kamasaki appeared in the doorway.

“Oh, Aone-kun, right?” Aone nodded. “You need something?”

He held up the papers in his hands, uncertain what else to do. 

“What are those? Oh, are those for Futakuchi?” Aone nodded again. “Wow, thanks, that was nice of you.”

“Who is it?” Someone asked, coming to stand in the doorway.

“Is Kamasaki-kun being confessed to?”

“No way, who would confess to him?”

“Shut up,” Kamasaki snapped back at the two people in the doorway. “He’s a friend of Futakuchi’s. He came to give me their class papers.”

“Aww, that’s so nice,” one of them said, sounding genuine as he stepped outside. “Oh, wow, you’re tall!”

Aone bowed to the new-comer, straightening out only to bow to the other new person who stepped outside. 

“He’s polite,” the first one said. “I’m Moniwa Kaname.”

“And I’m Sasaya Takehito,” the other greeted. “You know, you should join the volleyball team.”

“Already told him,” Futakuchi said. “Aone-kun, give me a few minutes and we can go over to see Futakuchi.”

Aone waved his hand in front of his face, trying to show that he didn’t need to go to Futakuchi’s home. He thought that might be stepping over the line of their friendship. 

“Don’t be like that, he’d love to see you. Maybe you can start walking him home insead of me. He’d probably prefer that.” 

Aone wanted to disagree, but between his inability to speak and the fact that Kamasaki was his senior, he found all he could do was nod. 

---

The apartments where Futakuchi lived were near the station which Aone was glad for. There was one bus that went between the school and the train station and it only ran every hour and a half. Since it was getting late, he’d been worried he would end up going in the opposite direction, forcing him to walk to the station – it was a fifty minute walk – or he would be at risk of missing the last train, then he’d be stuck and he’d have to ask his dad to come pick him up and he didn’t want his dad to think he was irresponsible.

It wasn’t that his dad wouldn’t gladly pick him up, Aone just knew his dad liked his siblings better and he didn’t want to add more fuel to that.

“The elevator is broken,” Kamasaki informed him as they approached the building. “But he’s on the fourth floor, so it shouldn’t be too bad.” 

Aone nodded and they made their way upstairs. The fourth floor corridor was dim because of some burnt out lights and Aone was starting to feel like Futakuchi wouldn’t have wanted him to come to his home. 

Kamasaki and he waited for a while after knocking on the door to apartment 409, the door eventually swinging open to reveal a man who looked like he was either 35 or 65. It was clear that he was related to Futakuchi as they looked very similar.

“What the hell do you want? I already told you he’s sick.” 

“Good evening Uncle,” Kamasaki greeted. “Aone-kun and I just came to drop off Kenji’s school work from today.” 

The man glared at them, looking between Kamasaki and Aone like he was trying to decide who he was going to be angry at. 

“Yasushi-kun, tell my sister I don’t need her sending you to spy on me.”

“Uncle, I’m really just here to drop off the papers.”

“School papers? For that idiot? What’s the point?” He turned his gaze onto Aone. “You his classmate?” 

“They sit next to each other,” Kamasaki explained.

“He can’t talk for himself?” 

Kamasaki stopped short and looked at Aone. Aone bowed, knowing there was no way he’d be able to speak at this point. He hadn’t expected much from Futakuchi’s father, but he was even worse than expected. 

“Is Kenji feeling alright?” Kamasaki asked quickly, obviously trying to change the subject.

“He’s fine. He’s faking, anyway.” 

Kamasaki looked lost for words so Aone held out his bundle of papers along with the extra notebook he’d copied today’s notes into. 

“What the hell is this?”

“The class papers.”

“It’s a waste of space to give those to an idiot like him. Get out of here.”

Futakuchi’s father slammed the door, nearing catching Aone’s hand and making him drop the papers. Kamasaki bent down to help pick them up, speaking quietly to Aone.

“Sorry about that… I didn’t think he’d be home. Usually he’s out at this time.” 

“It’s fine,” Aone responded, his voice strained.

“Oh, so you can talk?” Aone nodded. “I guess it doesn’t really matter either way.”

It was strange, the way that both Futakuchi and Kamasaki simply accepted both his silence and his ability to talk. They didn’t question why he only talked sometimes and didn’t seem bothered by his silence. They didn’t act offended that he didn’t ‘want’ to talk to them. 

He didn’t understand them, but he found he might just like them. 

“You take the notebook,” Kamasaki said. “I’ll give the handouts to Futakuchi tomorrow. Do you take the train?” Another nod. “Then you better get going, I don’t want you to miss your train.”

Aone bowed to Kamasaki before turning to leave, truly feeling like he shouldn’t have come here, but also like he might actually have a friend or two.

---

"So, how was your club?" Aone Tomoko asked over dinner. 

"Huh?" Aone looked up before remembering his text. "Oh, yeah, it was fine."

"What club was it?"

"Volleyball."

"Oh, volleyball!" Tomoko's smile widened. "Are you going to keep going? You had so much fun in elementary school!"

"I don't know…"

"Don't push him," Aone Goro said, not looking up from his meal. 

"I'm not pushing, I just think it would be good for him."

"Taka-chan," Aone Mari, the younger of his two older sisters, smiled, looking so much like their mom. "Volleyball sounds cool."

Aone Mari was in the art club at her school – a much better school than Aone's – and had always pushed Aone to join a club after he quit volleyball in Junior High School. Their oldest sister – Chihiro – was at university in Tokyo now, but in high school she'd been on the soccer team. She also pushed Aone to join a club, but in junior high school he was too afraid of his classmates to join any clubs. 

"How are the other boys?" Tomoko asked. "Are they nice?"

Aone thought about Kamasaki's acceptance of his silence. He thought about how Kamasaki's two friends hadn't acted like he was scary. He thought about how Mai had remembered him. 

"Yeah," Aone said, a small smile on his lips. "They are."

---

Futakuchi was absent the next day too. 

At lunch, Aone found he didn't want to eat alone so he headed out in search of someone he wanted to talk to. 

He found Mai eating lunch in class D with two boys. 

"Oh, hi Aone-kun," Mai greeted. "Did you need something?"

Aone nodded, feeling nervous in front of three strangers. He'd gotten up enough courage to ask Mai his question, but hadn't considered that there might be other people with her. 

"I-" he began, only for his words to get caught in his throat. He felt like he was choking on them, the sharp angles of each letter cutting him. 

"It's okay," Mai said, turning to rummage through her bag before returning with a pad of paper and a pen. "Here."

Aone bowed his head in thanks and began to write. 

Is it too late to join the volleyball team?

"No!" Mai exclaimed, smiling wildly. "It's never too late! Right guys?" 

She looked at the two people she was sitting with and they stared back at her, confused. Neither of them had read Aone's note, so he was certain that's where the confusion was coming from. 

"This is Obara Yutaka-kun and Onagawa Tarou-kun. They're on the team." She looked at them again. "Shouldn't he join the team?" 

"Sure," Obara nodded. "We're the only two first years who joined. The team is hurting for players." 

"I'll get you the papers and everything tomorrow!" Mai said. "You can start after that. It would probably make sense for you to start next week, so let’s shoot for next Monday." 

Aone nodded. Next week would give him time to rethink this decision and he thought that might be a good thing. He hadn’t played volleyball since he was 12 and it was probably a silly idea to join in high school.

"Oh, and one other thing," Mai frowned before smiling again. "Can I ask you a favor?"

Aone nodded. 

"Try and convince Futakuchi-kun to join the team. Apparently he played volleyball back in Tokyo." 

Aone didn't think he'd be able to convince him, but if he only had to try, he didn't think it was so bad. 

---

Aone knew he should’ve just given Kamasaki the day’s papers and left it at that, but he found he wanted to see Futakuchi. Even if it was overstepping the bounds of their friendship – was this friendship? – he couldn’t stop himself. 

Knocking on the door, Aone gathered his courage. If Futakuchi’s father was there, he would be sure to speak up this time and show him that Futakuchi was friends with someone interesting, smart, and friendly.

Then again, even if he spoke, he probably wouldn’t seem like any of those things, but he could hope. 

It took a while for anyone to come to the door. When the door finally swung open, Futakuchi was standing inside, looking shocked. Aone immediately noticed the athletic tape wrapping Futakuchi’s wrist and the only slightly faded black eye. He wondered what had happened. He worried what had happened. 

He had a few guesses and didn’t like any of them.

“Aone-kun, what’re you doing here?”

“I brought your school work.”

Futakuchi was looking at him like he’d grown a second head, which maybe it seemed like he had. From his memory, Aone had only spoken a single word in front of Futakuchi, so this probably was strange for him. 

“Are you okay?” Aone asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Futakuchi said, looking around anxiously. “Why don’t we go talk somewhere else? We can go to the cafe down the street. Or, wait, have you eaten? There’s a yakitori place nearby.”

“Aren’t you sick?”

“Nah, I’m fine,” Futakuchi said with a smile. “I need to get out of the house anyway.” 

“It’s just…” Aone bit his lip, worried that if they ended up in a crowded restaurant, he’d be unable to speak again. It was nice to be able to see Futakuchi somewhere less stressful than school. It was nice to talk to him. “I want to talk.”

“Oh,” Futakuchi paused, seeming to put the pieces together. “Well…”

They both fell silent, at an impasse. Futakuchi obviously didn’t want to invite Aone inside, but Aone just wanted to be able to talk to Futakchi. He didn’t really mind if they continued standing in the doorway like this, but he doubted Futakuchi wanted that either. 

“I’m sorry,” Aone said, bowing. “I shouldn’t have come.”

“No,” Futakuchi sounded panicked. “It’s not that, it’s just…”

He sighed and let out a single, loud curse as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“It’s a shitty apartment, okay? You don’t need to see it.”

“I don’t care what your apartment looks like.”

“I know, but I do.”

Again, there was silence and Aone didn’t know what he thought he could do. Did he think he could help Futakuchi? Did Futakuchi even want help? 

What was he doing here?

“I’m joining the volleyball team,” he blurted out. 

“Really? I didn’t know you played any sports.”

“I played in elementary school,” Aone explained. “I quit during my first year of junior high school.” 

“Makes sense. It was either volleyball or basketball for you, I guess.”

“You should join.” 

Futakuchi snorted, crossing his arms. “Did Kamasaki put you up to this?” 

“The manager, Nametsu-san, did. She wanted me to ask you.”

“Hmm, a cute girl wants me on the team,” Futakuchi said, smirking. “Why didn’t you lead with that?”

Aone thought about it and then nodded, “I guess you’re right, she’s pretty cute.”

“What are you, appraising a painting?” Futakuchi laughed. “Whatever, I’ll think about it.” 

“I’m starting next Monday.”

“Yeah, sure, maybe I’ll join.”

Aone held out the paper bag he was carrying, handing it to Futakuchi. It had the papers from the day as well as the notes. It also had miso soup, an onigiri, and a kit-kat for him to eat. 

“You should rest,” Aone told him. “Will you come to school tomorrow?”

“Maybe,” Futakuchi said, looking in the bag, but not commenting on the contents. “Coming in looking like this will really get everyone talking, huh?”

“Who cares?”

“I don’t want you to get caught up in my bullshit.”

“Who cares?” Aone reiterated. “Are we friends?” 

Futakuchi looked at him oddly for a moment before laughing as he shook his head. 

“Yeah, I guess we are.”

“Then, I don’t care.”

“What if someone starts bullying you?”

Aone almost laughed at the idea. 

“Everyone in school is scared of me,” Aone told him. “They already ignore me.”

“You have a point there,” he said, smirking. “Well, maybe I’ll be there tomorrow, but probably not. I’ll come in Thursday, though.”

“Okay,” Aone nodded.  “Take care.”

“I will.” Futakuchi’s smirk turned to a smile. “Get home safe.”

Aone nodded again and turned to leave, the warmth of happiness rising in his stomach as he realized he actually had a friend.

---

True to his word, Futakuchi came back to school on Thursday. He and Aone filled out the form to join the volleyball club, much to the shock of Kamasaki who evidently didn’t actually think either of them would. 

When Monday rolled around, Aone found himself standing with Futakuchi in front of the volleyball team. He forgot they’d need to introduce themselves and already he could tell he wouldn’t be able to do so. If Futakuchi wasn’t standing next to him, he would’ve left already. 

“I’m Futakuchi Kenji. I’m a wing spiker. I’ve played for 9 years. Nice to meet you.”

Everyone turned to look at Aone and he froze, his frown deepening despite his best efforts not to make himself look any scarier. 

“This is Aone Takanobu,” Futakuchi said, his face placid. “He played volleyball in elementary school and for a year in junior high school before he quit. He played…” They hadn’t discussed his position, but after Futakuchi gave him a momentary glance, he continued. “He was a middle blocker, obviously.” 

Aone guessed that was probably obvious thanks to his size, but he was still impressed by the correct guess. 

“Well Futakuchi-kun, Aone-kun,” the captain said with a smile. “Welcome to the team.”

---

Since his house was in the opposite direction from Futakuchi’s apartment, Kamasak had apparently gotten permission from someone to let Aone and Futakuchi walk home together. 

Really, Futakuchi was walking Aone to the train station more than Aone was walking him home, but apparently that was good enough for whoever had mandated Futakuchi have an escort. 

They also met in the morning at the train station before walking to school for morning practice. 

Aone liked walking to and from the train station with Futakuchi as it was one of the few times he was able to speak with Futakuchi. Being out of school and also outside of earshot of strangers made talking much easier and Aone liked talking to Futakuchi. 

Recently, they’d started eating lunch with the other first year members of the volleyball club, so any chance of talking to Futakuchi at lunch was lost. Luckily, none of them minded when he wrote things down. Also, lately Futakuchi had gotten much better at predicting what Aone wanted to say, though he wasn’t sure how he did it. 

High school had quickly gone from a lonely responsibility to something he actually looked forward to. Futakuchi had become someone he was comfortable with pretty quickly, though his comfort level still changed day-to-day. But even with that fluctuation, his comfort only increased as time passed. By the time they reached the spring tournaments, Aone didn't know how he would have survived high school without Futakuchi. 

With the third years' retirement after the interhigh, he and Futakuchi ended up in the starting lineup, much to his surprise. Then again, their height alone made them an asset to the team so it shouldn't have been a surprise. 

His family came to watch their game against Karasuno. Even his oldest sister came back to watch. They hadn't won Interhigh, but he felt pretty good in the end.

"You seem to get along with your team," Tomoko commented. "Especially that other tall boy. What's his name?"

Describing a volleyball player by calling them tall didn't narrow things down much, but Aone could decipher who she mean  

"Futakuchi Kenji," he said. "He sits next to me in class."

"Hmm… I wonder if he's related to Futakuchi Yumiko-san," Goro said. After a look of confusion from Tomoko and Aone, Goro explained, "I went to school with her."

"He has an aunt in town," Aone told him. "Her son – his cousin – is on the volleyball team too. Kamasaki Yasushi-senpai." 

"I think I remember her having a younger brother," Goro added, nodding to himself. 

"You'll have to invite Kenji-kun over." Tomoko smiled, obviously happy Aone had made a friend. "Or any of them, really."

Aone hadn't considered inviting Futakuchi over, but that made a lot of sense. And it would be easy to invite him since they needed to study for exams. 

"I'll ask him," Aone said, looking at the table to avoid his mother's wide smile as much as the raised eyebrow from his sister. "We can study." 

"Taka-chan, since when do you study?" Mari asked, smirking. 

Aone had no response so he said nothing, but even his sister's teasing couldn't take his mind of the excitement of asking Futakuchi to come over. 

Chapter Text

“Really?” Futakuchi asked as they ate lunch. “You want me to come over for dinner?”

“And to study,” he replied.

Today they were eating alone outside, the knots loosening from Aone’s tongue and letting him speak to Futakuchi. Despite all the changes that had happened since they joined the volleyball team, there were still some things they always did, like eating lunch without their teammates at least once a week. 

“I’ll have to ask,” Futakuchi admitted. “But if I can, that sounds fun. Dinner, not the studying.”

Futakuchi bit into the onigiri Aone had given him, not having even asked what the filling was. He never asked things like that, just taking the food from Aone and eating it without question. 

Aone’s worry about Futakuchi’s lack of lunch had been increasing over the weeks and months that they knew each other, but he was still uncertain if it was something he was allowed to ask about. After having met Futakuchi’s father and having seen the injuries that kept him from school, Aone could guess what was happening. He wasn’t the smartest person in the world, but it didn’t take a genius to put the pieces together. 

Still, he wanted to ask Futakuchi about it because he wanted to be there for Futakuchi, even when he knew there was nothing he could do. 

So he did what he could. He brought extra food and when they ate with their teammates, he gave it to Futakuchi before lunch started, so nobody else would question him. He ‘lent’ him pens and pencils as well as other stationery. After getting in trouble a third time for his shirt being wrinkled, Aone searched all the stores in town until he found a cheap steamer. It didn’t work all that well, but it did enough to stop Futakuchi from getting in any more hot water. 

When Kamasaki told him to take care of Futakuchi, he wasn’t sure if this is what he meant.

That was not to say the relationship was one-sided. Futakuchi was adept at reading Aone’s expressions and was able to speak up when Aone couldn’t. He’d managed to turn around people’s opinions of him and Aone. The people in their class didn’t even seem to be scared of Aone anymore, which was a bit of a miracle. 

“Don’t worry if you can’t,” Aone said, unable to keep himself from couching his invitation. 

“Aone-kun, stop that,” Futakuchi said before letting out a snort. “I can’t believe anyone ever thought you were scary. Moniwa-senpai is way scarier than you.”

“I don’t want you to feel pressured if it’s too hard.”

He still didn’t know why Kamasaki had been tasked with walking him home for so long, but it hadn’t seemed to be just to make sure he knew the way. Even now, if Aone couldn’t walk Futakuchi home, Kamasaki would step in. Something was going on that Aone didn’t understand, but like with many other things, he didn't feel like it was his place to ask about it.

“We’re friends, okay? You don’t need to worry about things like that.” 

“Okay,” Aone said with a nod, already impatient for their first study session.

---

The day before Futakuchi was going to come over for dinner, something strange happened. 

During lunch, they’d gone to Nametsu’s classroom to eat with the other first-years, only for someone from their class to appear. 

“Aone-kun,” the girl said, surprising him. He never would’ve guessed she was here for him. “Can you come with me?”

Aone looked at her, confused, not even trying to speak the questions on his tongue. As usual, though, it was Futakuchi who managed to speak for him.

“Is a teacher calling for him?”

“No,” she said, looking impatient. “Nakada-chan wants to ask him something.” 

Nakada Hanako was their class rep and also the girl who’d helped get the handouts for Futakuchi while he was absent. Aone had never really interacted with her outside of her normal class rep duties, but she seemed nice enough. 

Aone looked at Futakuchi, giving him a small nod before standing and following the girl. 

She didn’t speak to him, just leading him down the stairs and towards the sports building. He was trying to remember her name, but couldn’t come up with it. By the time he saw Nakada, he had given up on guessing her name and began to wonder what they were doing in such a secluded area.

“Thanks, Yamano-chan,” Nakada said to the girl. “And thanks for coming, Aone-kun.”

Yamano left them and Aone realized they were alone. He didn’t know what to make of this situation so he stood still, watching Nakada with hopefully kind eyes. 

“Aone-kun…” Nakada swallowed, looking nervous. “I was wondering… I know we haven’t talked much, but after you helped out Futakuchi-kun, I thought you must be a really nice guy. And lately, you’ve been helping the class more, which is nice. You just seem… You seem really nice and you’re also really handsome,” she was starting to blush and a realization was coming to Aone. It was a wholly unwelcome realization because he had no clue what he was going to do about this situation. “I like you, Aone-kun, and I wanted to go out with you.” 

Aone had hoped that because it was just one person, and a kind one like Nakada, he’d be able to speak. But, the stress of this situation was like a punch in the throat, making it hard to breathe, let alone speak. 

He didn’t want to date her. He also didn’t want to hurt her and so didn’t know what to do. 

If only Futakuchi was here to interpret his thoughts. 

But Futakuchi had done one thing for him, which was make sure he always carried a pen and paper. Taking it out, he wrote out his words as carefully as possible, knowing he wasn’t great with words in any context, but especially not this one. 

He never thought he’d be in this situation. 

He handed over the paper and watched her read, wanting to look away, but knowing he shouldn’t.

 Nakada-san, you are very nice and cute, but I don’t like you like that. I am terribly sorry. I hope you find someone better. 

“Aone-kun… Thank you for being honest.” Her voice was strained, but she smiled at him. “And I don’t know what you mean by someone better. You seem like a pretty great guy.” 

Aone bowed to her, hoping it would be enough to explain his apology. When he straightened up, she was still smiling sadly. 

“You really are too nice, you know that?” She sniffled and turned her head away. “You go ahead, I’ll be fine.”

Aone froze for a moment, wanting to do something. But he knew that would be stepping over a line so, after another bow, he turned and headed back to lunch.

When his teammates asked what happened, he just shook his head, not wanting to say anything that might hurt Nakada.

The look Futakuchi gave him told Aone that he knew exactly what just happened. 

---

“I can’t believe you turned her down,” Futakuchi said as they walked home together. “She’s really cute.”

“She is cute,” Aone agreed, though even he could tell how flat his words sounded. 

“That sounds just like what you said about Nametsu-chan,” Futakuchi told him, raising an eyebrow. “I guess they’re not your type?”

Aone didn’t know what to say because he knew the answer to that question, but for as much as he was comfortable with Futakuchi, he didn’t think he could say it. He trusted him, he did, but there were lines that couldn’t be uncrossed. There were words that couldn’t be taken back if they landed badly.

Telling Futakuchi he wasn’t interested because he didn’t like girls was something he couldn’t find it in himself to say. 

Futakuchi continued to look at Aone and Aone suddenly became terrified that Futakuchi would know exactly why he wasn’t responding. He had become adept at reading his mind, so why wouldn’t he be able to figure this out too? 

“Not my type,” Aone finally forced himself to parrot. It wasn’t really a lie, after all. It was just that no girl was his type. 

Futakuchi looked at him quietly for a beat longer, something contemplative on his face. He looked almost like he was going to push, but then it passed and he snorted. 

“I guess I don’t know what my type is, either. I dated a couple of girls in Tokyo, but it never lasted very long.”

Aone nodded, lost for words and wishing he could explain why he didn’t know what to say. With his lack of friends, he hadn’t even learned how to pretend he was interested in girls.

“Dude, it doesn’t really matter,” Futakuchi told him, smiling. “I don’t care that you don’t have a type or that you rejected Nakada-san. And, hey, if word gets out that it’s impossible to date you, that just means more girls for me.”

Aone smiled slightly, the statement such a strange one. It was obvious Futakuchi was trying to assuage his fears, even if Futakuchi didn’t know what those fears were.

“I don’t think I’m why nobody’s asked you out,” Aone said.

“Fucking rude,” Futakuchi replied, laughing. “Now, come on, we better hurry up or we’re going to miss the bus.”

---

Walking into their classroom, Aone immediately noticed the change in environment. He was well-tuned to the feelings of those around him and this was an unfortunately familiar sensation. He remembered being in junior high school and feeling the atmosphere change when his homeroom classmates realized he wasn’t mute.

Aone and Futakuchi took their seats, Futakuchi continuing to talk to Aone like nothing had changed. Aone wasn’t sure if he didn’t notice or if he just didn’t care, but Aone couldn’t focus on the conversation, too aware of the glances being thrown in his direction. 

The looks continued even when class started, sweat beading on the back of Aone’s neck as he tried to figure out what he was going to do. He didn’t know for sure, but he guessed it was about Nakada’s confession. He could only imagine the rumors swirling around at the moment, each imagined piece of gossip worse than the last. 

Lunch didn’t come fast enough, Aone nearly forgetting to give Futakuchi his position before exiting the classroom. They didn’t make it to Nametsu’s classroom, though, because she was already headed towards theirs, grabbing them both by the wrists and dragging them outside and away from prying eyes. 

“What did you do?” She asked, crossing her arms as she looked at Aone. 

Aone opened his mouth, but no sound came out. 

“What exactly are you accusing him of?” Futakuchi asked, already sounding annoyed. 

“Everyone is gossiping about Aone-kun and some girl from your class.”

“Nakada-san?”

“Yeah, her,” Nametsu said with a nod. “I’ve heard ten different rumors already and I want to know what happened.” 

“She asked him out and he turned her down.” Futakuchi looked at Aone, holding out a hand. “Give me the notebook.”

Aone obliged and Futakuchi found his note from the day before, showing it to Nametsu. 

“See, he was very nice about it.”

Nametsu sighed, handing back the notebook and shaking her head. She looked tired and worried, more so than Aone would have expected. They were teammates, more or less, but he hadn’t been sure that they were close enough for her to worry so much about it. 

“I don’t know how the rumors started so quickly.”

“What even are these rumors?” Futakuchi asked. 

“There are three big ones,” Nametsu told them.

“And people still think they could be true?” He huffed. “People are idiots.” 

“People like to gossip,” Nametsu corrected. “First is that Aone was rude when he turned her down-”

“Stupid,” Futakuchi interrupted, looking unimpressed.

“Next that Aone was the one to ask her out and get rejected-”

“That’s even less believable.”

“Futakuchi-kun, are you going to let me talk?” Nametsu asked, glaring at him. “I’m not the one spreading these rumors.” 

“Fine. What’s the last one.”

Nametsu glanced at Aone apologetically. 

“That Aone-kun is gay.”

“Does nobody have something better to do than gossip?” Futakuchi asked, looking more and more annoyed with each passing second. “First, I’m a thug, and now this? Can’t they leave people alone?” 

“Don’t ask me,” Nametsu said with a shrug. “It’s what people do. That girl in your class is well-liked.”

“Did she spread the rumors to make herself look better?” Futakuchi asked, glancing at Aone. Even though there was no way for Aone to know, he doubted it had been her. “Aone-kun, just because she seems nice doesn’t mean she didn’t do this.”

Aone shrugged. He knew that someone being nice to him didn’t mean they couldn’t be mean behind his back, but he really didn’t think Nakada was the type.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Futakuchi grumbled. “Fine. She probably didn’t do it.”

“What about the girl who came to get Aone-kun?” Nametsu asked. “She must be Nakada-san’s friend.” 

“Maybe… What was her name? Yamato?” Aone handed him a note. “Yamano? Oh, yeah, that sounds right.” 

“Futakuchi-kun, don’t do anything stupid,” Nametsu said, saving Aone from writing the same note. “It won’t change anything if you go after her.” 

“I was thinking that the best way to fight fire is with fire. We start some rumors about her–” Aone put a hand on Futakuchi’s arm, shaking his head. Futakuchi clicked his tongue, looking away from Aone. “Fine. We won’t do that. We have to do something!” 

Aone wrote another note, this one taking him a little to write. 

 It’s fine, Futakuchi-kun. We don’t need to do anything, really. Just ignoring the rumors will be better than trying to fight them. They’ll die down eventually, trust me. 

Futakuchi didn’t look happy, his grimace turning into an angry frown. When he turned that look on Aone, though, it no longer looked angry. It looked… sad.

“This isn’t the first time you’ve been gossiped about?” Aone didn’t respond, but as usual, he was an open book. “Fuck that, you’re too nice to deal with this shit.” 

Futakuchi handed back Aone’s notebook then turned and headed back into the school, ignoring Nametsu’s calls. Aone didn’t know what he was planning, but he didn’t think it could be good. 

“Aone-kun, what is he going to do?”

Aone shook his head and then took off running after him, hoping he was about to do something sensible like find a teacher. 

He doubted that was what Futakuchi was going to do.

Aone was able to catch sight of Futakuchi going back into their classroom and he sprinted after him. He didn’t get to the classroom in time, though, because he could already hear Futakuchi’s voice.

“Hey, everyone, listen up. I’ve heard the stupid rumors you’ve been telling about Aone-kun and I think there is something I need to clear up.” 

Aone burst into the classroom, but Futakuchi had the class’ attention. He didn’t spare a glance toward Aone, instead looking at Nakada. If he could, Aone would shout and stop Futakuchi from speaking, but there was no way a single word was coming out of his mouth right now. 

“Aone-kun didn’t ask Nakada-chan out and he wasn’t rude to her either. The reason he turned her down was because he knows I like Nakada-chan and wanted to ask her out.” 

Aone wasn’t sure what he expected Futakuchi to say, but it hadn’t been that. He found that there was little about Futakuchi he was able to anticipate. At this point, he should’ve already known that, but he managed to be shocked every time Futakuchi did something else surprising. 

After a long pause as the people gathered digested the information, someone laughed.

“Okay, Futakuchi-kun, sure. Definitely not just making that up to help Aone-kun, right?” 

“Why the fuck would I announce something so embarrassing if it wasn’t true,” Futakuchi asked, raising his eyebrow. “Especially now that I know my crush is such a gossip.”

“Hey,” Yamano stood up, looking angry. “Don’t talk about Nakada-chan like that. She’s not a gossip.”

“Then how did everyone find out about something so personal?” Futakuchi asked, smiling at Yamano. “The only other person who knew was– Oh, wait, you didn’t tell everyone about your friend’s failed confession, did you?” 

“I– You don’t know what you’re talking about!” 

“Well it wasn’t Aone-kun or I and, according to you, it wasn’t Nakada-chan, so who else could it be?” 

“Why couldn’t it be you or Aone-kun?”

“Well, I like Nakada-chan. And Aone-kun is my friend so why would I spread such mean rumors about him.” Futakuchi raised an eyebrow. “And who exactly do you think Aone-kun is going to gossip to?” 

“Yamano-chan, did you really do this?” Nakada asked, looking hurt. 

“They’re lying! We all know he’s no good even if everyone pretends he’s so great now!” Yamano said, looking like a cornered rat and making Aone nervous. 

“Stop,” Aone managed to say, but his voice was too quiet.

“My mom knows his family and she said his dad–”

“Stop!” Aone shouted, the room turning to look at him and making him freeze up. He wished he could just keep talking and explain everything, but stop was all he was able to say. He wasn’t even sure how he’d been able to say what he had. 

“Aone-kun, you don’t need to protect me,” Futakuchi said. “Yamano-san can say whatever she’d like about me and my family. Let’s hear what she has to say about my father.” 

“That’s enough,” Nakada said, standing up and looking around the room with fire in her eyes. “This has all gone too far. I asked out Aone-kun and he turned me down. He was a perfect gentleman about it. Yamano-chan, I don’t know why you would spread rumors about someone I like, but quit it. And, Futakuchi-kun…” She looked at him for a moment, smiling. “You’re a really nice guy, but I don’t like you. I think you should find a better girl. And it would be a little awkward to go out with you after asking your friend out.” 

“Ah, I understand,” Futakuchi said. “It would be weird for me too, so I get it.”

Now Nakada turned to look at Aone, smiling sadly at him.

“I’m really sorry, Aone-kun. I hope you don’t think badly of me.”

Aone shook his head, giving her a faint smile. He could feel Futakuchi’s eyes on him, still looking unsatisfied, but remaining silent. 

And with that, something Aone expected to be dealing with for the rest of the year was solved.

---

Futakuchi was silent as they headed to Aone’s house. Aone had almost forgotten about Futakuchi coming over, surprised when Kamasaki reminded Futakuchi when he needed to be home. 

Aone didn’t try to strike up a conversation, able to feel Futakuchi’s annoyance as they waited for the bus. Even on the bus, he still seemed annoyed. It wasn’t until they were sitting in an empty train car that Futakuchi finally spoke up. 

“You don’t need to protect me.”

“You’re my friend.”

“I don’t need you to protect me.”

“You were protecting me first.” 

“That’s because you don’t know how to stick up for yourself.”

“It had gone too far.” 

Futakuchi pursed his lips, leaning forward to look at the ground and letting out a long sigh. 

“Anyone with parents who grew up around here probably knows my family. My mom was… Popular. And my aunt was too.”

“I think my dad knows your aunt,” Aone admitted. “He might ask about her.”

“Are you going to shout at him too?” Futakuchi asked, snorting out a small laugh. “You can’t talk to Nametsu-chan, but you can shout at our class. I don’t get you.”

“You… I didn’t want her to say anything bad about you.” 

“It wouldn’t have mattered. Nobody was on her side anymore, so she would’ve looked worse if she dropped some gossip about my father. And what was she going to say? My parents are divorced. My father is an alcoholic? Who cares?”

It was pretty clear to Aone what the answer to that was. 

“You care.”

Futakuchi sat up, surprised as he looked at Aone. After sharing a long long, he laughed, this laugh much happier than his previous laughs, though there was still something bitter about it. 

“God, you’re a weirdo,” Futakuchi told him. “You tried to tell me not to do anything about the rumors about you, then when someone is about to tell people the truth about me, you speak up. That’s weird, you know?” 

Aone shrugged, not sure what to say. Most people considered him weird, but he knew it wasn’t the same as when Futakuchi called him weird. Aone didn’t know why it was different, but it was. 

Futakuchi was different and Aone didn’t know why. 

He wasn’t sure he cared.

Chapter Text

“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Futakuchi Kenji,” Futakuchi greeted when Aone’s mother met them at the door. “Sorry for the intrusion.” 

“I’m just so happy Taka-chan has such a good friend,” Tomoko told him with a smile, ignoring Aone’s blush. “Did you meet on the volleyball team?”

“Oh, no, we sit next to each other,” Futakuchi explained. “Aone-kun is the one who convinced me to join the volleyball team, actually.”

“We should go study,” Aone cut in. “We can talk at dinner.”

“Okay,” Tomoko said with a laugh. “I’ll bring up some snacks, okay?”

Upstairs, they were easily intercepted by Mari, who had a wicked look on her face already. 

“Oh, Taka-chan, you’re home. This is your friend?”

“Hello,” Futakuchi said. “I’m Futakuchi Kenji.”

“Aone Mari,” she replied. “How did you and Taka-chan become friends, Futakuchi-kun?” 

“He was really nice to me when I moved here,” Futakuchi explained, unfazed by her questioning. “I’m from Tokyo, so it was a big adjustment, but Aone-kun was a big help.” 

“Tokyo? Wow,” Mari lost her mischievous look, seeming to be intrigued by this new piece of information. “Where in Tokyo?” 

“Setagaya.” 

“Really? That sounds so cool! Our older sister goes to university in Sendai, but she almost went to Tokyo.”

“Sendai, really? Where does she go?”

“Tohoku University,” Mari said, unable to stop herself from looking proud even as she tried to sound flippant. “She’s an engineering student.”

“Wow, Aone-kun, you didn’t tell me your older sister was so smart,” Futakuchi said. “How about you, Aone-san? What university do you go to?”

Mari giggled, though whether it was at being called a university student or having Futakuchi called her ‘Aone-san’, he wasn’t sure.

“Futakuchi-kun, you’re funny. I’m only in high school. And I’m only two years older than you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I just didn’t think someone so pretty could be a high schooler,” Futakuchi said, making Aone want to groan. 

“Oh stop it,” she said, laughing again.

“We should go study,” Aone cut in, grabbing Futakuchi’s arm and dragging him away from Mari.

“See you at dinner,” Futakuchi said to her, Aone not giving his sister any time to reply. 

“Really?” Aone asked when they got to his room. 

“I wanted them to like me.” 

Aone didn’t respond, simply sitting on the edge of his bed and watching Futakuchi as he walked around, looking at Aone’s honestly quite boring room. He paused and picked up a stuffed turtle that was on Aone’s dresser, smiling at it. 

“You like turtles?”

“They were my favorite animal.”

“Not anymore?”

“I don’t have a favorite animal.”

“Oh, come on, you have to have a favorite animal,” Futakuchi insisted, putting the turtle back down. 

“Why?”

“Everyone has a favorite animal.”

“I don’t think everyone has a favorite animal.”

“Well, most people do.”

“What’s your favorite animal?”

Futakuchi paused, surprise clear on his face. Aone didn’t know why it would be so shocking for him to throw the same question back at him, but he smiled slightly seeing the look. It was nice to know he could surprise Futakuchi as much as Futakuchi surprised him. 

“Never mind,” Futakuchi told him, his cheeks turning a little pink. “Let’s study.”

---

Aone’s father arrived home just before dinner. By the time they went down to eat, Futakuchi had already turned the charm back on, making Aone want to scream a little. He didn’t know why it made him feel that way, but it was the only way he could describe the mixed-up feelings in his chest and stomach. 

“I’m Aone Goro, it’s nice to meet a friend of Takkun’s.” 

“Aone-san, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Futakuchi said with a bow that hid a small smile at hearing Goro call Aone ‘Takkun’. Or, at least, it hid it from Goro. Aone saw it plain as day. “I’m just sorry I didn’t have time to get a gift.”

“Oh, don’t be silly,” Tomoko cut in. “You’re just a friend of Taka-chan, you don’t need to act so formally.” 

“I wouldn’t want Aone-kun’s parents to think he’s friends with a bad influence.”

“There’s no reason we’d think that,” Tomoko laughed, the sound almost a giggle. Aone expected everyone to be charmed by Futakuchi eventually, but he still couldn't believe how quickly it had happened. “Why don’t we eat?”

---

It didn’t take long for Goro to bring up the topic of Futakuchi’s family.

“So, Takkun said Kamasaki Yumiko-san is your aunt.”

“That’s correct,” Futakuchi said with a nod. “Do you know her?”

“We went to school together,” Goro explained. “She was a little younger, though.” 

“You must have known my mother, then,” Futakuchi smiled, but Aone noted that it didn’t reach his eyes. “Sasaki Rina.” 

“Oh, yes, I remember her. She was popular even as a first year. Did your father go to our school?”

“No, he went to a different high school. He met my mother because she was friends with my aunt.”

“So, how did you end up back here?”

“My mother was worried I wasn’t well-rounded enough, living in Tokyo. We used to spend summers here, but since junior high school, we stopped coming and I think she was worried I didn’t see enough nature.” 

Even though he was pretty sure that was a lie, Aone found Futakuchi’s words easy to believe. He wondered how many times Futakuchi had lied and Aone hadn't caught it.

“So is your mother back in town too or are you living with your aunt?”

“Well…” Futakuchi’s smile dropped as he looked at his plate. “You see, my parents got divorced a few years ago and my father moved back here, so I’m living with him.”

“Oh, I’m sorry for prying,” Goro said. “That must have been tough.”

“It was harder for my little sister, I think. She was still only in elementary school.”

The table fell silent and Aone racked his brain for something he could say. He needed some sort of distraction to stop his father from prying further. 

“Futkauchi played volleyball in Tokyo,” Aone finally said, remembering what Kamasaki had told him about Futakuchi’s school. “His school made it to the Interhigh Nationals Tournament last year.”

“Wow,” Mari said. “Who knew Taka-chan had such an accomplished friend.”

“When’s your next big game?” Goro asked. 

“March, right?” Futakuchi asked, looking at Aone, who nodded. “But we have a local tournament coming up next month.”

“We’ll have to come watch,” Tomoko said, smiling. “It’s so nice to see Taka-chan playing volleyball again. I know you said he convinced you, but I’m sure he wouldn’t have joined without you. It might not seem like it, but Taka-chan is very shy.”

“ Kaa-san ,” Aone said, his face turning red.

“It took me a while to realize, but I did notice,” Futakuchi explained. “I thought he didn’t like me at first, but then I realized he just didn’t talk at school.”

Tomoko turned to look at Aone, her face concerned. Aone understood why, realizing he should’ve told Futakuchi not to mention his mutism. 

“Takanobu-kun, are you not talking at school again?” 

Aone opened his mouth and found he couldn’t speak. It had been a long time since that happened at home and he could already hear his parents talking about him and how he needed help. That there was something wrong with him.

He’d always been different, both at home and at school. His maternal grandmother and paternal great-grandfather had both had light hair, which was where he got it, but everyone else in his family had dark brown hair. 

They were all tall, but he was the tallest. He’d already grown taller than his mother and sisters in elementary school. By the second grade of junior high school, he was taller than his father, too. 

His sisters and his parents were talented and intelligent. His father was an engineer and his mother a nurse. His sisters were both destined for greatness, but he was left as a completely average, if not below average, student.

And then there was his mutism that nobody seemed to have an answer for other than he was shy. But when it didn’t go away by junior high school, he knew his parents started to worry. But worry turned quickly into frustration and so he stopped telling them about it. His high school teachers didn’t care enough to tell his parents, so he’d let them assume he’d gotten over it.

“Sorry, sorry,” Futakuchi interrupted with a small chuckle. “I was exaggerating a little. I didn’t realize I’d cause such a misunderstanding. I just meant that Aone-kun is pretty quiet at school. Even so, he asked the teacher to collect schoolwork for me when I was sick. Honestly, he’s the first person to ever do that for me.” 

“That’s sweet,” Tomoko said, her concern clearing even if Aone wasn’t sure he was out of the woods. “I’m glad you two are such good friends.”

Futakuchi turned to smile at Aone. “Me too.”

The soft honesty in his voice was a shock to Aone’s system and, despite his best efforts, he felt himself blushing.

---

His family didn’t end up coming to the local tournament, but Aone didn’t mind. If he was honest, he felt a little awkward when they came, feeling like people were wondering why he didn’t fit in with them. 

They’d done well, making their way to the semi-finals before losing.

As they chatted together afterward, Aone was surprised to see a high school girl from another school making a beeline for them. Aone didn’t recognize her or the uniform she was wearing, but it was clear she was around the same age as them. 

His response to Futakuchi died on his lips as the girl got closer, making it more and more clear to him that she was coming to talk to them. It took Futakuchi only a moment to realize what had happened, turning to look in the direction of Aone’s eyes. 

“Kenji-kun, is that really you?” The girl asked as she reached them, smiling widely at Futakuchi. 

“Umm…” Futakuchi looked confused for a moment before something clicked. “Wait, Katsumi-chan?”

“The one and only,” she said with a laugh. “I can’t believe it took me this long to find out you moved here!”

“How did you find out? And how did you know I’d be here?”

“My mom has lunch with your aunt the other day and she mentioned you’d moved back here. How could you not have contacted me?”

“What are you talking about? I thought you were still in America.” 

Katsumi laughed again, “Kenji-kun, that was only for junior high school! I told you that!” 

“I don’t remember that…” 

Katsumi finally turned to look at Aone, smiling sweetly at him.

“I’ve been rude. I’m Maeda Katsumi. Kenji-kun and I used to hang out together in elementary school.”

“When I came in the summer,” Futakuchi added. “My aunt and her mom are friends, so we were pretty much forced to spend time together.”

There was a long pause before Futakuchi turned back to Katsumi.

“This is my friend, Aone.”

Aone bowed to her, but it was obviously too stiff because she just giggled.

“No need to act so formal, you’re older than me, aren’t you?”

“He’s the same age as us,” Futakuchi informed her. 

“Seriously? No way! I thought he had to be a third-year.”

Before Aone could get out of this conversation, feeling embarrassed, Futakuchi reached over to punch Katsumi lightly in the shoulder.

“That was rude, Katsumi-chan. How would you like it if I said you looked like a junior high schooler?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Aone-san,” Katsumi said, looking surprised for a moment before bowing to him. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Aone shook his head. He gave Futakuchi a look and then bowed to Katsumi, heading back to the rest of the team while trying to figure out the source of a sudden bout of nausea. 

He was afraid he knew the reason. 

---

They didn’t have volleyball practice on Thursdays. It was mostly because a lot of students went to cram school on Thursday. Even at a school like theirs, there were plenty of students who went to cram school at least once a week. 

Aone wasn’t one of those students and neither was Futakuchi, so they usually went somewhere to hang out. When the weather was nice, they went to the park or the riverbed, but during winter that was a no-go. They’d usually end up at a karaoke place simply because they could get a private room, making it easier for Aone to talk. 

Recently, some of the other first years on the volleyball team had been coming with them and Aone was starting to get comfortable with them. Nametsu, in particular, was nice enough that Aone was finally starting to be able to talk to her. 

Today, it was just going to be Aone, Futakuchi, and Nametsu, for which Aone was glad. He liked the other first years, but he still felt a little uncomfortable with them. He liked them, really, but he couldn’t get a good read on them, so he found it hard to be open with them.

He wanted to trust them all, but it was hard after the last time he was on a volleyball team. 

“Kenji-kun!” 

It was more than a little shocking to find Maeda Katsumi waiting at the front gates, looking cold but happy. 

“Katsumi-chan, what are you doing here?” Futakuchi asked, obviously worried. “You’re going to freeze.”

“I totally didn’t realize how close our schools were. I walk to the same bus stop a lot of the students here use. Yasushi-kun told me you didn’t have practice on Thursdays, so I thought I’d walk you home.”

The nausea was back, making Aone more sure of its horrible reality.

“Aone-kun, Nametsu-san, and I were actually going to karaoke,” Futakuchi said, looking back at Nametu and Aone. “I can’t just flake on them.”

Aone shook his head and gave Futakuchi his best smile as he waved him off. 

“Aone-kun–”

“We go almost every week,” Nametsu said, looking at Aone. “One day won’t hurt. Aone-kun and I can go.”

“Well…”

“Actually, my mom wanted to see you again,” Katsumi said. “Maybe you could come over to my place today.”

Futakuchi was still looking at Aone, so he forced himself to smile wider. Futakuchi didn’t look convinced, but he sighed and nodded.

“Alright, alright, I get it. But we’ll go next week.”

“Thanks, Aone-kun. Thanks, Nametsu-san,” Katsumi said as the two left Aone and Nametsu behind. 

“So,” Nametsu said with a smile. “Still want to go to karaoke?”

---

For the next month, Katsumi showed up on Thursday after school, asking to walk Futakuchi home. Each time, Futakuchi would try to turn her down, but Aone and whoever was with them would tell him to go with her. After all, they hadn’t seen each other in years and the rest of them saw Futakuchi every day. What right did they have to monopolize Futakuchi even on days without volleyball practices?

Today, it was once again just Aone and Nametsu left on Thursday, the cold air still making it impossible to hang out outside. They also didn’t really want to go to karaoke again, so Nametsu suggested finding somewhere to study together.

After learning that they both lived in the same town, Nametsu ended up coming back to Aone’s house. His mother had a look on her face that let Aone know she thought there was something more going on between the two of them, but he didn’t have the energy to convince her otherwise. 

They both studied quietly for a little while, Aone’s mother bringing them snacks and seeming almost disappointed that they were actually doing schoolwork. It was only after almost half an hour of working that Nametsu put down her pen and looked at Aone.

“Aone-kun, you like Futakuchi-kun, don’t you?”

Aone’s pen stopped, but he didn’t look up at Nametsu, fear turning his blood to ice. It was one thing for his teammates to think he was choosing not to talk to them. It was another for them to think–to know–he was gay. He could deal with the former, but the latter?

“Aone-kun, it’s okay,” Nametsu said, her voice soft and kind. When he looked up, she had a small, comforting smile on her lips and her eyes looked more understanding than anything else. It wasn’t the look he’d been anticipating at all. “I don’t care if you’re gay.”

Aone opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to force the words out, but his fear had already strangled him. 

“It’s okay, I should’ve been gentler,” she said with a laugh. 

How? Aone wrote in his notebook, pushing over to Nametsu.

“I started to suspect after your reaction to the rumor that you were gay. You didn’t seem upset like most guys are. You seemed… scared. It was different than what I’d expected, so I started to suspect. And then… I don’t understand how Futakuchi-kun can basically read your mind, but then can’t see how much you care about him.”

What do you mean?

“You look at him differently than everyone else… And you smiled when you told Futakuchi-kun to go with Katsumi-san, but it seems pretty obvious to me you didn’t want him to go. Are you jealous?”

Aone thought for a moment about that. Was he jealous of Katsumi? Maybe he was, but he wasn’t sure if it was because she seemed to have such a natural rapport with Futakuchi or if it was because he knew she had a chance with him. 

“Yes,” Aone said, his voice barely more than a whisper. 

“Why not tell him?”

Aone snorted, the idea seeming so silly to him. 

“Why would I?”

“You don’t know that he’s straight.”

“I’m not risking our friendship.”

“And what if he starts dating Katsumi-san? Then what?”

“I’ll be happy for him.”

Nametsu let out a long sigh as she looked at Aone, frowning. She didn’t say anything for a long time, only speaking after sighing again. 

“You’re a handful.”

Aone didn’t know what to make of that so he just nodded, going back to his homework and trying not to think about Futakuchi dating Katsumi. 

---

The New Year break came and went quickly. Aone and Futakuchi had gone to a shrine with the other first years to pray for the new year, but other than that, Aone hadn’t spent much time with his teammates. 

“Aone-kun,” Futakuchi greeted as Aone waited for him at the train station in the morning. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Aone said, turning to say something more only for the words to dissolve at the sight of Katsumi next to Futakuchi. He swallowed dryly and bowed to her, not sure what else to do.

“Good morning, Aone-kun,” Katsumi greeted as well. “I hope you don’t mind the company.”

Aone looked at the two of them, his eyes glued on their interlocked hands. After a moment of forcing his emotions back down his throat, he looked up at Futakuchi, tilting his head slightly. 

“Ah, yeah, sorry to spring it on you,” Fuakuchi said. “It only happened yesterday, but… Well, Katsumi-chan and I are dating.”

Aone tried to force out any words, but his words were just ash in his lungs, drying out his throat and making coughing more likely than speaking. After too long, he pulled out his notebook and wrote the only thing he could think of. 

Congratulations.

“Thanks, man,” Futakuchi said. “Why don’t we head out?”

Aone nodded as he tried to remind himself of the promise he made: he would be happy for him. 

He wasn’t happy for him. 

Chapter Text

In many ways, nothing really changed. In other ways, everything had.

Things that hadn’t changed: on days they had practice, Aone and Futakuchi walked home together. They ate lunch together and sometimes they ate with the other first years. Futakuchi was still his friend. 

Things that had changed: Katsumi walked Futakuchi to school most days and the two of them spent time together after school on Thursdays. A lot of weekends, Futakuchi spent time with Katsumi as well. 

Aone hated the way it hurt when he saw Futakuchi with Katsumi. It felt like a betrayal of their friendship to not be happy for Futakuchi when he seemed so happy. At first, Aone tried to pretend he didn’t know why it hurt so much, but he wasn’t very good at fooling himself. 

Somewhere along the line, he’d developed a crush on his first friend since elementary school. His best friend. It was so wrong, so terrible, but he couldn’t exactly force himself not to have a crush on Futakuchi. It turned out hearts didn’t work that way. 

So, instead, he tried to put some space between them. He tried not to spend too much time alone with Futakuchi without making it obvious he was doing so. He tried to hide it by making a show of being friendly with the other members of the volleyball team. Futakuchi never questioned it, so Aone guessed he’d somehow fooled his friend.

The only thing that Aone couldn’t give up was bringing lunch for Futakuchi. At some point, what had started as a small snack had turned into a second lunch. His mother didn’t question him when he asked for more and more food, probably assuming he was just hungry. That was normal for teenage boys, he was pretty sure. 

Even when they ate with other people, that lunch was what made Aone feel like he still had a special connection with Futakuchi. It was, in many ways, the thing that started their friendship and he wasn’t quite ready to give it up. 

School lunches were one of the few things Katsumi couldn’t take and Aone hated how happy that made him. 

“Aone-kun,” It was February when Nametsu came to his classroom at lunch, worry in her eyes. He knew why, looking at the extra lunch he packed that would go uneaten. “I thought you were eating with us today.”

Aone could tell that wasn’t the real reason she’d showed up at his classroom. He did his best to speak, the words coming out in almost inaudible form. 

“Kamasaki-senpai?”

Nametsu sat down in Futakuchi’s empty seat, looking at Aone expectantly. 

“I guess he knows we eat together most days. He came to my classroom looking for Futakuchi-kun. I told him I’d ask you.”

Aone looked at his desk, gritting his teeth. He had a guess as to what had happened, but he hated the idea. Gossip was something Aone knew how to deal with. Adults doing bad things? He didn’t have a single clue what he was supposed to do about that. 

“I’ll go,” Aone told her. “I have class papers.” 

“Oh, that’s right, Kamasaki-senpai showed you where his apartment is.” Nametsu bit her lip, her face still creased with worry. “Why do you and Kamasaki-senpai seem so worried? He’s just out sick, right?”

Aone didn’t even open his mouth. He didn’t know what he could say that wouldn’t give away secrets that weren’t his to tell. 

“He’ll be okay, right?”

Aone nodded slowly because, really, what else could he do? 

---

When he arrived at Futakuchi’s apartment building, Aone began to second-guess himself. Was he really the right person to be doing this? It was one thing for him to collect the day’s papers and notes for Futakuchi, but should he be delivering them? Kamasaki had said last time that Futakuchi would be happy to see Aone, but he wondered if that was true. He wondered if maybe he should’ve found Katsumi and given her the papers. Wasn’t that something she should do instead of him? 

He shook his head hard enough for it to hurt, trying to get rid of his negative thoughts. He only partially managed that, but the slight clearing reminded him that girlfriend or not, he was still Futakuchi’s friend. 

Aone knocked on apartment 409 and waited, praying that Futakuchi’s father wasn’t home. He didn’t have a plan for what to do if he was, so all he could do was hope. 

Like the last time he came with notes and handouts, it took a little while for the door to open, but when it did, Aone was met by a shocked-looking Futakuchi. Aone was sure the look was mirrored on his face because Futakuchi looked worse than he expected. 

Aone had almost expected him to have a black eye, but this was a lot worse than when he’d had them previously. Maybe it was just because it was more recent than the others, but the bruising was so bad his left eye was barely open. 

Other than that, he had a fresh cut on his forehead that looked like Futakuchi had hit his head on a table or door. He was wearing a sweatshirt, but it didn’t quite hide the marks on his neck that Aone guessed were in the shape of two hands.

“Futakuchi-kun,” Aone said, his shock fading into concern as he tried to figure out what to say. 

“I guess I should’ve known you’d come,” Futakuchi said, his shock also fading and leaving a grim smirk in its place. 

“You’re not okay,” Aone said, his mouth dry.

“Huh? I guess not, but it’s really not so bad.”

“No,” Aone shook his head. “This isn’t okay.”

“So what? What do you want me to do?”

Aone didn’t want Futakuchi to do anything. He wanted everyone else to do something. He wanted someone around them to care for once.

“Does your aunt know? Does Kamasaki-senpai know?” 

“Kamasaki does,” Futakuchi said. “My aunt doesn’t, though she probably suspects something.” 

“Why don’t they do anything?”

“There’s nothing to do,” Futakuchi said with a shrug. “What are they going to do?”

“Tell the police?” Aone wasn’t totally sure if that was the right answer, but it seemed better than doing nothing. “Let you live at their house.”

“I guess there’s no point hiding it anymore,” Futakuchi said, still smirking bitterly. “The court said I had to live with my dad, so there’s no getting out of that. And the police don’t care. When I was little and we came here in the summer, my aunt tried to report my dad because she saw him hit me. They told her it was a parent’s right to discipline their child. Even in Tokyo, a teacher went to the police once and they told her it was a family issue. Nobody will do anything. All I need to do is make it to 18, then I’ll be okay.” 

Aone felt like he’d been left with more questions than answers, but he also didn’t think now was the time to get into questions of why Futakuchi was actually in Miyagi. 

“This isn’t okay,” Aone said again, quieter, before adding a question. “Why me?”

“Huh?”

“Why let me know?”

Futakuchi’s smirk dropped as he frowned, looking thoughtful before shrugging. 

“You’re my friend and I trust you.” 

Aone didn’t think he was a very good friend, not one deserving of so much trust. What had he done to gain that trust? In the last month and a half, he couldn’t even muster happiness for his best friend getting a girlfriend. 

“I don’t understand.”

“Aone-kun, you don’t give yourself enough credit,” Futakuchi told him, stepping out of his doorway and into Aone’s space. Aone held his breath, not sure what Futakuchi was going to do until he reached out and threw an arm around Aone’s neck, pulling him into a hug. “You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met.” 

Aone returned the hug, knowing he needed to put more space between him and Futakuchi before he got his hopes up. 

“How much does Katsumi-san know?”

“Huh?” Futakuchi stepped back, looking surprised by the question. “About this? Nothing. I told her I was sick.” 

“What if she comes over?”

“Why would she?”

“I did. She’s your girlfriend.”

“Eh, I doubt she’d come over. We haven’t been dating that long. And we’ll probably break up soon.”

“What?”

“All my past girlfriends broke up with me after two or three months.” 

Aone shook his head, not able to understand that. He knew he wasn’t thinking about it objectively, but to him, there was no reason to break up with Futakuchi. What could he have done so badly in such a short time?

“It’s true,” Futakuchi responded, starting to count out his exes on his fingers. “My first girlfriend said I spent too much time at volleyball club. My second said I wasn’t romantic enough. My third-” Futakuchi stopped short, blushing and he muttered. “She wanted to sleep together, but I wasn’t ready. My fourth…”

This time, Futakuchi trailed off, his eyes on his hand. After a moment he swallowed dryly and shook his head. When he looked back up at Aone, he was smiling an almost convincing smile. 

Aone wasn’t convinced.

“Well, that’s a story for another day.” Futakuchi reached out and took the day’s papers from Aone, looking through the notebook quickly. “You take good notes. When do you even have time to copy them over so soon?”

“Lunch.”

“When I’m not at school, you should eat with the volleyball team,” Futakuchi reprimanded. “You shouldn’t eat alone. At least ask Nametsu-chan to eat with you.”

Aone didn’t respond, not wanting to say that sometimes he felt like eating alone was better than eating without Futakuchi. 

“Don’t give me that look,” Futakuchi said. “I thought you were able to talk to Nametsu-chan now.”

“I like talking to you better.”

Futakuchi sighed, frowning as he looked at Aone. 

“You’re a weird guy,” Futakuchi told him fondly. “You should get going. You’re going to miss the next train.”

Aone didn’t ask how Futakuchi knew the train schedule well enough to be right about that, but he just nodded. He wanted to give Futakuchi another hug but worried that would be a step too far. If Futakuchi knew that Aone had a crush on him, he wouldn’t have hugged him in the first place, so it was a bit much for Aone to initiate it. 

“Anything you need,” Aone said, his voice hoarse as his dark thoughts made it hard to speak to Futakuchi.

“I know,” Futakuchi responded, smiling at him. “Now hurry up. The next local train isn’t for an hour.”

---

When Aone showed up at Futakuchi’s house again the next day, Futakuchi just sighed and held out his hand to take the papers from Aone.

“I don’t know why you keep bringing me these. Do you really think I’m studying?”

“You should.”

“Do you?”

“We studied together.”

“And I think I remember your sister making jokes about you never studying.” Aone looked away and Futakuchi snorted. “I guess I have to study if you’re coming all this way to bring me the papers.”

“Nametsu-chan is worried,” Aone told him.

“She doesn’t believe I’m sick, does she?” Aone shook his head. “Yeah, she’s too smart. Tell her whatever you want.”

“I’ll tell her what you want me to.”

Futakuchi laughed, shaking his head, “You’re too nice.”

“They’re your secrets.”

“If you tell her a lie, she’ll just come here herself.” He was right about that. She already tried to come with Aone today. “Even if you could tell a convincing lie, she’s smart enough to figure it out. Just tell her the truth.” 

Aone wasn’t sure if he’d be able to do that. It felt wrong, not just because it wasn’t his life, but also because he felt like he’d done something wrong. He knew what was happening and he hadn’t done anything to help Futakuchi. Wouldn’t Nametsu dislike him after realizing how bad of a friend he was? 

“You’re going to give yourself wrinkles if you keep making that face,” Futakuchi commented. “You need to stop worrying so much. Not everything is worth worrying about.” 

Aone wanted to explain to Futakuchi that he was worth worrying about. That for as much as Aone didn’t want to have to worry, he also wanted to worry about Futakuchi. 

But he didn’t say any of that because he had no idea how to. Instead, he sighed and nodded, wishing he could do more.

---

On Thursday, Futakuchi agreed to come down to a park near his apartment to see Nametsu and Aone. Aone hadn’t been able to explain anything to Nametsu, not only his voice failing him but also the written word. 

The worst of Futakuchi’s black eye had started to fade from red and black to yellow and green, but it still looked bad enough to make Aone wince. 

“Futakuchi-kun, what in the world?” Nametsu exclaimed upon seeing him. “What happened to you?”

“Would you believe me if I said I tripped?” 

“Into what? A rock?” Nametsu stepped closer to him, probably doing the same check that Aone had the first day he saw Futakuchi. “And what about your forehead?”

Futakuchi was wearing his school uniform, the collar buttoned up to conceal his neck, saving him from some of Nametsu's questions. 

“You look like you got in a fight,” Nametsu told him, glancing at his hands. When she continued, her words were slower and more deliberate. “Or like you got beat up.” 

“Maybe Kamasaki beat me up for skipping practice.” That only earned him a raised eyebrow from Nametsu. “Nametsu-san, what do you want me to tell you?”

“I want you to tell me what happened.”

“I got beat up.”

“Who did this?”

Futakuchi didn’t respond, the smirk on his face falling away and revealing first a grimace and then blankness. 

“Futakuchi-kun, tell me.”

“There’s nothing you can do, so why do you want to know?”

“How do you know there’s nothing I can do?”

“Nobody else ever could.” 

“Aone-kun–” She started to turn to look at Aone for help, but Futakuchi cut her off.

“He’s already said the same shit, okay? I only let him bring you today because he seemed to think you were going to worry yourself to death over me.” 

“Fine,” Nametsu said, grimacing. “Then I’ll go. And I’ll stop worrying about you.”

She turned and began to walk away, leaving Aone to look back and forth between her and Futakuchi, rooted to the spot.

“Go with her,” Futakuchi said, stepping over to take the day’s papers. “I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Aone wanted to argue, but Futakuchi looked tired, so, he nodded and followed Nametsu back toward the train station.

She didn’t say anything and by the time they arrived at the station, she was quietly crying. In the station, Aone pulled out a pack of tissues and handed it to her, waiting quietly until she finally spoke.

“Is there really nothing we can do?”

“I don’t know.” 

“It’s not fair.”

Aone didn’t respond, but he didn’t think he needed to.

---

Aone hated the way everything went back to normal after that. Back to the normal of Futakuchi having a girlfriend. The normal of them all being high school volleyball players. The 68th Prefecture Sporting Competition Volleyball Tournament happened in March with Futakuchi and Aone as starters. Futakuchi bragged for almost a week about how he and Aone had ‘broken’ Karasuno’s ace. 

And then they were second years. 

It had almost been a year since Futakuchi moved to Miyagi and on one hand, Aone couldn’t believe how much had changed in that time. On the other hand, he felt like he’d known Futakuchi for much longer. 

It was all so normal and Aone had gotten used to it even though a year ago, he couldn’t have imagined this being his normal. He got used to being on the volleyball team. He got used to having friends. He got used to being jealous of his best friend’s girlfriend. The good and the bad, he got used to it. 

But, just when Aone had more or less made peace with Futakuchi having a girlfriend, another shift occurred. 

He caught Futakuchi and Katsumi fighting a few times, though once they noticed him, they would always end their fight, greeting him with a smile. When Aone asked Futakuchi about it at school, he just said they were just fighting about silly things. 

At the end of April, Futakuchi came to school with a black eye. Katsumi hadn’t walked him to school that day, but it was a Thursday, so she was waiting when they left school. The moment she saw him, so much concern blossomed on her face that it almost hurt Aone to see. He could tell how much Katsumi cared about Futakuchi and it broke Aone’s heart to know that she was still in the dark about so much. 

Aone didn’t know why Futakuchi still refused to tell her the truth, but Aone thought the truth might be better than letting her imagine her own scenarios. 

“Kenji, what happened?” She finally managed to ask. “Is this why you told me not to come today?”

“Katsumi-chan, it’s nothing,” Futakuchi told her, smiling.

“Nothing? You have a black eye! And just last month you had one too! What is going on?”

“Katsumi-chan–” 

“No,” she interrupted. “I’m not letting you ignore me. I’m worried about you.”

“It’s really nothing,” Futakuchi told her. “I’m just clumsy sometimes.”

Katsumi looked past Futakuchi at Aone and Natsume. “He told you two about this?”

Natsume looked at Futakuchi and Aone just continued to stare at Katsumi, terrified of even moving. 

“Don’t bring them into this,” Futakuchi said. 

“You’re the one bringing them into it,” Katsumi countered. “You obviously tell them what’s going on, but you don’t tell me. Who exactly are you dating? Me or them?”

“Katusmi-chan, that’s not what’s going on at all. I just don’t want you to worry.”

“I’m going to worry whether or not you tell me what’s going on.” Katsumi’s concern had fully turned into frustration. “Tell me what’s going on. Please.” 

“I– I don’t want you– If you knew–” Futakuchi didn’t seem able to make a sentence, his smile finally dropping. He looked like he was in complete despair. Or like a baby deer cornered by a predator.

But that wasn’t fair to Katsumi. Futakuchi didn’t have to tell her anything, but she just wanted to help. He was hurting her, that was clear. 

“If this is how you’re going to act, maybe we should stop seeing each other,” Katsumi said, her voice strangled. “I love you, but I don’t think you feel the same way about me.”

“That’s not true. I just don’t– I can’t–” He was floundering and Aone was starting to feel like he and Natsume shouldn’t be listening. Or, really, that this argument shouldn’t be happening at the school gates. 

“You wouldn’t tell me what happened last month and now you won’t tell me about this. You wouldn’t even tell me why you moved her without your mom and sister!”

“I was sent here, I told you that.”

“Why? What happened? Why is Yasushi-san always worried about you?”

“I got expelled from my school in Tokyo, okay?” Futakuchi said, his voice too loud. “Some kid said some shit to me and I beat him up and I got expelled. The judge said I had to come live with my Dad until I graduated high school. Are you happy now? Is that enough for you?” 

“Futakuchi-kun. Maeda-san.” Natsume was the one to speak up. Aone was glad for it because for as much as he wanted to stop these two from fighting in front of their school, he couldn’t find his words. “This isn’t the place for this.” 

“She’s right,” Futakuchi said with a deep sigh. “Katsumi-chan, why don’t we go talk at your place–”

“Kenji, I meant what I said,” Katsumi interrupted, her voice a near whisper. “I care about you a lot and I want to be friends, but I don’t think we’re very good for each other.”

Katsumi sniffled and wiped away some tears but she slowly raised her head, looking at Futakuchi with hard eyes. 

“It’s been a good few months, but I can’t do this. Maybe in a few more months, we can be friends again.”

“Katsumi-chan, wait!”

Katsumi shook her head slowly and then turned, heading in the direction of the bus station and leaving Aone and Natsume to watch Futakuchi. Aone had expected him to run after her, but he just stood there, watching her go. He wasn’t crying, but the look in his eyes was enough to make Aone want to cry. 

“Sorry you had to see that,” Futakuchi said, laughing awkwardly. He didn’t turn in their direction, still looking in the direction of Katsumi’s retreating figure. “That must’ve been awkward.”

“Futakuchi-kun, are you okay?” Natsume asked, 

When Katsumi turned a corner Futakuchi finally turned in their direction. He smiled at them, but his eyes were blank. 

“It’s not my first breakup, I’ll be fine. I wish it hadn’t been so public.” 

Looking at Futakuchi, Aone felt guilty that he ever wished for Futakuchi and Katsumi to break up, even if that wish had been one that had only surfaced in his mind when it was 3 am and he couldn’t fall asleep. 

Even at 3 am, this isn’t what he’d wanted. 

“I’m sorry,” Aone said, meaning it. 

“Thanks, Aone-kun,” Futakuchi said. 

“Let’s all go get something to eat,” Natsume said, her tone leaving no room for argument. 

“Okay,” Futakuchi nodded. “I guess we’ll be doing this a lot more, huh?” 

And, so, as easily as they had become second years, Futakuchi and Katsumi broke up. 

Chapter Text

After a week, Futakuchi seemed to be okay, but Aone knew better. It seemed obvious to him that Futakuchi wasn’t okay and he couldn’t understand why everyone was acting like it was no big deal.

The news of his fight and breakup spread fast thanks to it happening on school grounds. Surprisingly, it didn’t seem to have negatively affected Futakuchi’s reputation. That was probably due to the lack of details about the argument he’d had with Katsumi. Mostly, the guys in class joked around with him that she’d been too pretty for him and the girls seemed interested to know he was available and that, apparently, he was over his crush on the class rep. 

It seemed like Aone and Natsume were the only two who’d heard Futakuchi admitting what happened to lead him to Miyagi, which was for the best. Even if he hadn’t given details, Aone was pretty sure he didn’t want people to know about that. For as much as he acted like he didn’t care what people knew about him, Aone wasn’t sure that was completely true. At the very least, he didn’t think Futakuchi wanted people to know the truth about why he left Tokyo. 

Golden Week came and went and only then did Aone start to believe that Futakuchi was over Katsumi, at least mostly. Aone knew that he should’ve asked Futakuchi if he wanted to talk about the breakup, but he’d never been able to find the right words, so they didn’t talk about it. 

“I can’t believe it’s only been a year,” Futakuchi commented as they studied at Aone’s house. “It feels longer than that.”

“Yeah,” Aone agreed. His first month of high school had dragged on so slowly, but after meeting Futakuchi, a year had passed in the blink of an eye. 

“I never thought I’d be happy to move here, but I’m really glad I did,” Futakuchi said with a smile. “Imagine never meeting you.”

“I–” Aone paused, swallowing in an attempt to keep his throat from closing. “I’m glad I met you. But I wish you hadn’t moved here.”

“Huh?” Futakuchi’s smile dropped. “What?”

“I’m glad I met you,” Aone repeated. “But you should’ve stayed in Tokyo.”

“Aone-kun, what’d you mean by that?”

Aone couldn’t tell if Futakuchi was pretending not to understand or not, so he continued forward. 

“You shouldn’t have to live with your father.”

“Oh,” Futakuchi looked at the table. “I wasn’t thinking about it like that.” 

The silence was painful. Aone didn’t know what Futakuchi had wanted him to say, but he felt like he’d said the wrong thing. Did Futakuchi really want him to pretend he didn’t know? That he hadn’t seen what his father did to him? 

“You know, Aone-kun,” Futakuchi spoke quietly, his tone vulnerable. “You’ve never asked me about why I moved here.”

“You didn’t want to tell.”

“I guess you’re right. But anyone else would’ve asked.”

“The volleyball team hasn’t.”

“I’m sure Kamasaki told them not to.” Futakuchi paused before adding, “Aone-kun, it’s different with you. You’re my best friend.”

Aone was quiet, trying to figure out if there was anything he could say that wouldn’t give away too much.

“You don’t ask about me,” he pointed out. 

“What would I ask about?”

“Why I can’t talk.”

“You can talk.”

“You know what I mean.” 

“Okay,” Futakuchi said. “Why can’t you talk?”

“I don’t know,” Aone admitted, earning him a snort from Futakuchi. “I’ve always had trouble talking to strangers. In elementary school, it got worse and I stopped being able to talk to anyone by my family, my teachers, and the kids in my class. By the end of elementary school, I stopped being able to talk at school.”

“Your parents didn’t do anything?”

“They didn’t know what to do. The doctor said I’d grow out of it.”

“But you didn’t.”

“They don’t need to know that.” 

Futakuchi looked at him thoughtfully. There was something in his eyes that seemed to want to ask a million different questions, but he stayed silent, just watching Aone.

“It went downhill in junior high school,” Aone continued. He didn’t know why he was telling Futakuchi, but it felt right. “I stopped talking completely. At a volleyball game, though, my teammates heard me talking to my family. People started saying I could talk, I just didn’t want to. I quit the volleyball team because nobody would play with me. By third year, I was so big… The rumor was that I would beat up anyone who spoke to me.”

“Why’d you talk to me?” Futakuchi asked, looking genuinely confused. “I was mean to you as soon as I met you. Why would you trust me?”

Aone thought about their first few interactions, not for the first time trying to find a reason. He’d asked himself this question more than once over the months they’d known each other, but he didn’t have a good answer. There had been no reason for him to trust Futakuchi, but he had. It had turned out alright, but there was no good reason for it to have been okay.

“You weren’t scary,” Aone told him. “You were like… an injured animal. Or a stray cat.”

“Thanks,” Futakuchi snorted. “Glad that’s how you saw me.”

“The first time we really talked, you asked me if I ate alone,” Aone reminded him. “You were the first person in years who cared. And when you learned I could talk, you never made me talk. You worried that I couldn’t see the board. You acted tough, but you only ever said mean things when you felt threatened. Once you stopped feeling threatened, you stopped saying mean things.” 

Again, Futakuchi looked like he had a lot of questions he wanted to ask, but he didn’t say anything. The silence was no longer deafening, though, and felt comfortable for the first time since this conversation started. 

“I got in a really bad fight.” Futakuchi didn’t blink, staring at Aone as he spoke quietly. He was incredibly still and it seemed like only his mouth was moving. Even Aone felt the need to be still, barely breathing as he listened. “It wasn’t even really a fight, to be honest. It started that way, but… I really hurt the other kid. He didn’t die or anything, but he was really bad off and his parents were angry. And wealthy. Because I was a minor, it was handled in family court, but the judge said I couldn’t stay in Tokyo. He basically blamed my mom for everything and said I needed a father figure.” Futakuchi let out a humorless breath of laughter at that, grimacing. “Maybe I should’ve told him that fighting was the only thing my father had ever taught me.” 

Once again, Aone didn’t know what he should say. Should he ask why Futakuchi got in a fight? Should he ask more about his father? Should he insist again that Futakuchi tell someone what his father was doing?

“Do you miss Tokyo?”

“Yeah,” Futakuchi admitted, “I do. I miss my mom and my sister. Have I told you I have a little sister?” Aone nodded. “She’s in her second year of junior high school now. I haven’t been able to see her or Mom since I left. We talk on the phone sometimes, but it’s not the same.”

Aone wondered how it would feel to be separated from his family. For as much as he felt out of place in his family, he would hate to not be able to see them for so long, especially his sisters. It was hard enough that now both of his sisters were in university, so they weren’t around often. Mari was still living at home, but she spent most of her time at school or with friends, so sometimes it felt like she’d moved out. 

“I’m sorry.”

“You weren’t the one who beat a kid up.”

If he’d been there, Aone thought he would’ve done just that. Not because he would do anything that Futakuchi asked–he would, but that was beside the point–but because he was sure Futakuchi had had a good reason. 

“Futakuchi-kun?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you want me to ask why you beat him up?”

Futakuchi blinked at Aone, his mouth opening only to close without saying anything. After a few more times trying to speak, though, the shock wore off and he laughed. 

“You’re a weirdo,” Futakuchi informed him, not for the first time. 

And, so, the conversation ended there.

---

He’d talked too much about number 10 again. He knew that was true because Nametsu was giving him shit about it.

“I guess you’re over Futakuchi-kun, huh?” She smirked.

“It’s not like that.”

“Come on, you don’t have even a little bit of a crush on him?” 

“No, I don’t.” 

“It seems like it.” 

“I don’t have a crush-”

The door to their karaoke booth opened as Futakuchi returned with their drinks faster than expected, Aone nearly jumping out of his seat. He hoped Futakuchi didn’t hear their conversation, but couldn’t be sure. 

“Aone has a crush on someone?” Futakuchi asked, his eyes sparkling as he set down their drinks. “Who?”

“It’s not like that,” Aone insisted. “Nametsu-san is teasing me.”

“About who?” Futakuchi begged. “I need to know.”

“No way,” Nametsu said when he looked at her. “I might like teasing him, but I’m not going to give you ammunition.” 

“I would never tease Aone-kun!” 

“You definitely would.” Nametsu rolled her eyes. “New topic! Who was your first celebrity crush.”

“What?” Futakuchi raised an eyebrow. “Are we having a sleepover now?”

“Shut up.” 

Futakuchi and Nametsu continued to bicker while Aone listened, feeling more at ease now that the topic of his possible crush had passed.

---

Sweat dripped down the back of Aone’s neck as he waited for the train. He was supposed to be meeting Futakuchi and Nametsu for lunch, but he was kind of wishing he’d just stayed in his air-conditioned bedroom instead. He wanted to hang out with Futakuchi and Nametsu, of course, but he really wished he could’ve stayed inside to do it. 

The train finally came and he made a point to give the low air-conditioned car a wide berth as if even the adjacent cars might not be cold enough. 

The doors slid shut, muffling the scream of the cicadas and making the train car suddenly seem too quiet. 

He didn’t take a seat, instead finding a spot where he could stand directly under the air conditioner, using his handkerchief to wipe the sweat off of his neck and forehead. 

He hated summer. His sisters always asked him how he could hate summer when his birthday was in August, but he thought it was pretty obvious why. He just wasn’t built for hot weather. He couldn’t understand how anyone liked summer unless they lived far enough North for the humidity to break slightly. He couldn’t imagine living in Tokyo in the summer let alone the Kansai and Kyushu regions. He really just wasn’t made for the heat.

And it wasn’t like his birthday meant all that much to him when the only people who cared about it were his family members. 

As he was leaving the station, Aone got a text from Nametsu saying her younger brother had gotten sick and she needed to stay home with him. Her parents had gone to look at a university with her old brother, so she was the only one there to take care of him. 

“Yo.” Futakuchi was waiting for him outside the station. “Guess it’s just us today.”

Aone nodded, unsure if he was happy about that or not. He liked spending time with Futakuchi, of course, but he also liked hanging out with Nametsu. She was nice and made him less self-conscious about his crush.

“So, where should we–”

“Kenji-kun, what a surprise!” 

They both turned to see Kamasaki and a woman–Aone guessed it was Kamasaki’s mother and therefore Futakuchi’s aunt–leaving the station. Kamasaki didn’t look much like his mother, with Futakuchi resembling her more. 

“Hello, Aunt,” Futakuchi greeted, suddenly nervous. Aone couldn’t understand why he was so nervous, though, since as far as he knew, Futakuchi liked his aunt. “Hello, Yasushi-san.” 

“Hello, I’m Kamasaki Yumiko,” she said, turning to look at Aone. “You’re on the volleyball team, right?”

Aone nodded before bowing to Yumiko. He could feel the fear of screwing up this interaction starting to creep in. He didn’t even try opening his mouth, worried that if he couldn’t speak it would make him look even stupider than his silence would. 

“His name is Aone Takanobu,” Kamasaki and Futakuchi said at the same time, making Yumiko chuckle. 

“Where are you two off to?”

“We haven’t decided yet,” Futakuchi explained. “We were going to meet another friend, but she had to cancel last minute. She usually makes the plans.” 

“You should come back to our place and have lunch, then,” Yumiko told them with a smile. “I haven’t seen you in a while, Kenji-kun, and I’d love to get to know Aone-kun. Yasushi-kun was always saying he was worried you wouldn’t be able to make any friends when you first moved here, but I guess he was wrong.” 

Futakuchi glanced at Aone, seeming like he was hoping Aone would either accept or refuse the invitation. But Aone had no idea what to do in this situation. Turning her down might be rude, but even if he went to lunch, Aone wouldn’t be able to say much, assuming he was able to speak at all. It seemed like an impossible choice.

“Aone-kun can’t speak,” Futakuchi said, still looking at Aone like he was trying to judge if he was saying the right thing. “He’s a singer and needs to rest his voice for an upcoming show.” 

Kamasaki made a face that reflected what Aone was feeling: it said ‘what the fuck?’ Yumiko was obviously not buying this story either, an amused smirk on her face as she shook her head.

“Alright, alright, I know when kids want to hang out without an adult. You should really both come over sometime, though.” 

“Okay, Aunt,” Futakuchi agreed. 

“See you later.”

“See you later,” he repeated, both he and Aone bowing to Kamasaki and Yumiko. 

Once they were gone, Aone turned to raise an eyebrow at Futakuchi.

“I thought you were good at lying.” 

“Shut up,” Futakuchi grumbled, trying and failing to push Aone. “Let’s just get some lunch.”

Aone smiled, bursting out into low laughter that earned him a startled look from Futakuchi. 

“What?”

“I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh,” Futakuchi told him, his shock turning to a smile that made the back of Aone’s neck burn. “I’ve heard you chuckle, but never laugh.”

“Don’t make fun of me,” Aone mumbled, looking at his feet.

“I’m not,” Futakuchi said, his voice soft. “It’s a nice laugh.”

Futakuchi was someone who had a lot of sharp edges, both in his body and his expressions. Everything–from his shoulders to his knees, his smiles to his frowns–was sharp. Aone liked that about him. He liked the sharp edges that never cut him, the bristles that didn’t hurt. 

But when Aone looked up now, Futakuchi had lost his edges. His smile wasn’t cutting and his shoulders looked rounder. He was like a hedgehog laying his quills down.

Aone didn’t know what to do, his heart flip-flopping sickeningly in his chest.

“Futakuchi-kun,” Aone’s voice was too soft, Futakuchi leaning in closer to listen. “What happened in Tokyo? Why did you get into that fight? Why did you beat that kid up?”

How could someone so soft do that? How could someone who was only sharp to protect himself beat someone up so badly that he was sent away? 

Futakuchi was caught off guard, his eyes wide as he looked at Aone. Even without the smile on his face, Futakuchi was muted in a way Aone had never seen him. Not in a bad, stifled way, but in a warm, hazy way that made it almost seem like Aone was looking at a stranger. 

But he wasn’t looking at a stranger. He was looking at the person who, in a year, had become one of the most important people in his life.

“Let’s go to my place,” Futakuchi said, looking away.

“Are you sure?”

“My Dad is on a business trip. We’ll be alone.” 

Aone thought he should say no. He didn’t know why, but it felt like the right thing to do. Even so, he didn’t want to. He wanted to know everything he could about Futakuchi.

“Okay.”

---

“Sorry about… well, everything,” Futakuchi said as he opened the door to his apartment. 

"Don't apologize," Aone responded, following him inside. 

The genkan was small and messy, with a few pairs of shoes piled to one side. From here, Aone could see into the main room of the apartment. To his left was a single, small door that looked like it was for a bathroom, and on the far wall were two doors, probably Futakuchi and his father's bedrooms. 

In the main area, there was a TV, couch, and floor table. The floor table seemed to be serving the purpose of a coffee table, with too many papers and empty bottles to be useable for much of anything. 

There was a pile of magazines next to the couch, looking like the smallest touch could knock them over. As he followed Futakuchi into the apartment, Aone saw that to the left, past the door that he guessed was for the bathroom, was the small kitchen. It was messy, but also looked like it was not used for cooking very often. The recycling bin was full of empty convenience store meals and the only well-used appliances seemed to be the electric kettle and the microwave. Even the rice cooker was pushed into a corner, obviously not having been used in a while. 

"This is my room," Futakuchi told him unnecessarily, pushing open the right-hand door and letting Aone step inside. 

Futakuchi's bedroom was incredibly small, barely able to fit even his bed. The room also had a small floor table that he seemed to use as a desk. Futakuchi's uniform jacket was hanging on a hook and it seemed like he was using a large suitcase as his dresser. There was a volleyball in the corner along with his worn sports bag, but other than that the room was bare. There was nothing on the walls and not even a single comic or book outside of the small pile of textbooks next to his table.

"Sorry it's so small," Futakuchi said, closing his bedroom door and walking to sit on the edge of his bed. 

Aone walked over, hesitating before sitting down next to Futakuchi.

"It's not a problem," Aone said, wondering if this bed was actually long enough for Futakuchi. "And it wouldn't be your fault if it was."

Futakuchi was quiet, looking at his feet with pursed lips. He was obviously thinking hard about something, though Aone wasn't sure if he was thinking about Aone's words or the conversation they'd been having that led them here. 

“What made you ask?” He finally asked, still refusing to look at Aone. “You said before that you didn’t need to know. What changed?”

“I didn’t understand why you would get in a fight. You’re too nice.” 

“I don’t think there are many people who agree with you,” Futakuchi informed him. “I’m not often described as nice.”

“So what?” Aone furrowed his brows. “How would you describe me?”

“You?” Aone nodded. “Nice. Friendly. A big softie.” 

“I don’t think there are many people who agree with you,” Aone retorted, making Futakuchi laugh.

“Point taken. Still, that’s the only reason you want to know? Because you think I’m too nice to get in a fight?”

Aone nodded because that was the best explanation he could come up with. 

“You’ve only ever been mean to protect yourself. Why would you beat someone up?”

“In junior high school, I had three girlfriends,” Futakuchi told him, smirking. “In my second year, I dated Mari-chan and Kana-chan. In my third year, I dated Nana-chan. I told you about the three of them and how we broke up. In high school, before I came here, I dated Miho-chan. Those are the four girlfriends I had, but… But they weren’t the only people I dated. 

“In the summer between junior high school and high school, I dated Arata-kun. We only dated for a month or so, breaking up because Arata-kun moved to Yokohama to go to high school. It wouldn't have been that hard to see each other, but… I guess it just didn’t seem worth it. 

“Then I started high school and pretty quickly started dating Miho-chan. She saw pictures of me and Arata-kun together and asked why we looked so close. I told her I was bisexual because I thought she would be fine with it, but she wasn’t and she broke up with me before spreading rumors about me being gay. I’m not embarrassed about being bisexual, okay, but I didn’t really want everyone to know.

“Some assholes wouldn’t leave me alone about it. At first, it was easy to ignore them, but they just kept it up. I was hanging out with Arata-kun one weekend and ran into one of them and he wouldn’t stop harassing us and–”

Futakuchi cut himself off, letting out a long sigh. He shook his head and laughed bitterly. 

“Beating him up was stupid. I shouldn’t have done it, but I was at the end of my rope and couldn’t stop myself. I was asked if I beat him up for lying, but I refused to pretend to be straight just to get out of trouble. If I’d been willing to, they would’ve said he was bullying me, but because I said what he was saying was true, I guess they didn’t care. It felt like everyone thought it was my fault I was being bullied.” 

The entire time he was talking, Futakuchi refused to look at Aone. Aone wondered if it was because he was afraid of the expression on Aone’s face. Aone wished he’d look at him, though, because he wasn’t sure was to say, but he was sure if Futakuchi looked at him, he’d understand. 

“Futakuchi-kun,” Aone said, his voice coming out louder than he meant it to and seeming to surprise Futakuchi into looking at him. “I’m gay.”

Futakuchi looked at Aone for a long time, seeming uncertain about something. Aone was afraid he might think Aone was making fun of him or that he was lying to make Futakuchi feel better. 

“Really?” He finally asked. “Fuck, what am I saying? I know you’re not lying. I just never would’ve guessed…”

“Really?” Aone echoed because if he was honest, he always thought–maybe feared was a more apt word–that Futakuchi knew but didn’t say anything to protect their friendship. Don’t ask, don’t tell and all that. 

“I thought there was a chance, but I wasn’t going to assume,” Futakuchi told him. “What evidence did I have? That there were two girls you didn’t like? That would be a crazy jump to make.”

Aone shrugged. That was more than most people had to go on when they called him gay. 

“By the way, does anyone else know?”

“Nametsu-chan figured it out last year.”

“Last year? Seriously? How’d she even figure that out?”

“Umm… well…” Aone could feel a blush creeping onto his face. “There were a couple of reasons, but she said that my reaction to the rumor that I was gay was different than most people’s reaction.”

“She’s sharp. I just assumed it was because you’d been bullied before.” 

“That was part of it, too.” Aone smiled. “But she is sharp.”

“Your family doesn’t know?”

“Chihiro might suspect, but that’s it.” 

They were quiet again, Aone suddenly wanting to reach over and cover Futakuchi’s hand in his. But that would be too much. Way too much.

“Thanks for not being weird about it,” Futakuchi said quietly. “Like, in the end, I guess I didn’t have to worry, but… I’ve lost a lot of friends after coming out and I was really scared I’d lose you.”

“Me too,” Aone told him honestly, his throat tight, but not in the way it was when he had trouble speaking. “Sorry for not trusting you.”

“Hey, trust me, you don’t need to apologize. I get it.” 

They stayed in Futakuchi’s room for a while longer, not talking. Only when Aone’s stomach growled did Futakuchi laugh and suggest they get something to eat, the spell broken. 

Part of him was afraid that Futakuchi knowing he was gay would make his crush more obvious. But a much larger part of him couldn’t stop smiling. 

Chapter Text

Two weeks after their discussion, Futakuchi came out to Nametsu as well. She, of course, took it in stride and telling him that of course that didn’t change anything. She then promptly made fun of him for getting dumped by not five, but six people. 

Not long after that, Aone went to practice only to find nobody was there. He hadn’t been told that there was no practice that day, so he was more than a little confused. Futakuchi had said he needed to ask Nametsu something and that he’d meet him in the gym, so obviously he didn’t know anything about this. And they weren’t the only people not told because one of the first years, Koganegawa Kanji, arrived not long after Aone.

“Oh, Aone-san,” he said, jumping a little as if he hadn’t expected to see Aone. “You’re the only one here?” 

Aone nodded, looking around the club room before shrugging. He didn’t have any idea either.

“Wait!” He exclaimed, surprising Aone. “I forgot! Onagawa-san told me someone was coming to give us a talk about tactics! They’re in the third year’s classroom. The classroom Moniwa-san is in, I mean.” 

Aone blinked at Koganegawa, finding something about his cadence strange, not to mention how strange it was that this talk would be in Moniwa’s classroom despite the third-years having retired already. 

It all seemed very strange, but then again, everything about Koganegawa was a little strange. 

“Come on, let’s go,” Koganegawa said.

With a long, tired sigh, Aone followed, wondering what in the world was going on.

---

“Here we are.”

“This isn’t Moniwa-san’s classroom,” Aone pointed out. “It’s Kamasaki-san’s.” 

“Oh, really? Umm… This is the room they told me, though.”

“I don’t hear anyone.”

“Why don’t you just check?” Koganegawa was starting to look nervous. 

Aone shook his head, unsure why Koganegawa was acting so strangely, but accepting that there was only one way to find out what was going on. 

“Happy birthday!” 

The shout nearly sent Aone to the floor when he slid open the door to find the entire team, including the retired third years, waiting for him.

“Wh–” Aone couldn’t finish his sentence, surprise keeping him quiet instead of fear. 

Futakuchi stepped forward, smiling widely at Aone. Behind him on a desk was a cake with unlit candles. 

“Kamasaki-san wouldn’t let us light the candles,” Futakuchi told him. “But the cake should still taste good.”

“How?”

“I asked your sister when your birthday was. We didn’t celebrate last year and I felt bad. Especially after Mari-chan told me you didn’t even like summer.”

Aone paused for a moment, wondering when Futakuchi became so close to his sister, but he pushed that away because it didn’t really matter. What mattered was that this was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him and it was not just Futakuchi, which would’ve been more than enough to make him happy, but the entire team. 

“Aww, come on, don’t cry,” Futakuchi said when Aone sniffled, rubbing at his eyes. “You’re making me feel like I did something wrong.”

Shaking his head, Aone wiped away his tears, smiling widely at the group.

“Thank you.” 

Futakuchi looked caught off guard for a moment before he returned the smile. Like so many times before, it was a soft smile Aone didn’t often see on his face, but one he’d come to treasure. That smile alone would’ve been a good enough birthday present.

“Well, you deserve it,” Futakuchi told him. “Now, come on, let’s eat some cake.”

---

“Hey,” Futakuchi looked up from his homework, obviously having thought of something. 

They were at Aone’s house doing homework. It was early September and lately, the two of them had been spending more time alone because Nametsu always seemed to be busy. 

“What?”

“A while ago, Nametsu-chan was teasing you about a crush. Who was she talking about? She knew you were gay at that point, right?”

“Huh?” Aone felt a little panicked before he remembered Nametsu teasing at karaoke. “Oh. She was asking if I had a crush on Karasuno’s number ten because I talked about him a lot.”

Futakuchi laughed. “If I’d known you were gay, I would’ve thought the same thing.”

“I don’t have a crush on him,” Aone said, blushing. “He’s just a friend.” 

“I know, I know,” Futakuchi said, still smiling. “He doesn’t really seem like your type.”

“You don’t even know my type.”

“Still.” 

Aone frowned, wondering what Futakuchi could possibly mean. Aone barely knew what his type was, so there was no way Futakuchi could know. 

“I’d think your type would be more like the Karasuno ace.”

“Excuse me!” Aone felt like he was going to have a heart attack. 

“What? He’s not?”

“I don’t have a type!” 

Futakuchi laughed as Aone pouted, looking away even when Futakuchi tried to apologize.

“Come on, Aone-kun, I’m just kidding. You don’t have to have a type.”

Aone pouted for a little while longer before finally caving to Futakuchi’s apologies because he knew there was little chance he could stay mad at Futakuchi. 

---

October was cold, but Aone wasn’t about to say he missed the summer. This summer had been better than most, but that didn’t mean he liked the heat. 

They’d been bored with all their usual activities, so Aone and Futakuchi ended up in a park. They were still bored, but at least they were somewhere new.

“There isn’t much going on around here, is there?” Futakuchi said with a sigh.

“Tokyo must be more exciting.”

“I hope you don’t want me to disagree with you,” Futakuchi laughed. “Of course Tokyo is more exciting. But just about anywhere would be more exciting than here, I think.”

“I don’t think it’s that bad,” Aone said despite also being bored out of his mind. “But we could go to Sendai sometime.” 

“Oh, that would be fun. I haven’t really been to Sendai.”

“It’s small compared to Tokyo.”

“Obviously.”

“But it’s fun.” 

“Your sister goes to school there, right?” 

“Yeah,” Aone nodded. “She likes it.”

“Both your sisters are really smart, huh?”

“Yeah.” This time, Aone looked at his lap. “My parents too.”

Futakuchi was looking at Aone intently, but Aone couldn’t bring himself to look up. Aone was expecting him to say something about Aone being smart too, but instead, he sighed and looked away from Aone.

“I think my father hates me because we’re similar. I’m just as much of an idiot as he was in high school. Bet he expects me to knock up some girl too.” 

“You’re not stupid.”

“Neither are you.”

“You tricked me,” Aone grumbled, realizing he was caught in Futakuchi’s trap. 

“Getting bad grades doesn’t make you stupid. You don’t even get that bad of grades. And who cares if we’re both stupid? Getting the best grade in the class wouldn’t make us better people.” Futakuchi reached out and poked Aone’s cheek, making him look up. “You’re a good person and that’s enough.”

Maybe it was because they were getting older, but Aone had a hard time stopping himself from considering the future. And all that thinking had led him to the conclusion that just being a good person wasn’t enough. 

But when Futakuchi said it, he almost believed it.

“Aone-kun, we’re only second-years,” Futakuchi continued. “We have time to figure it out, okay?”

Aone frowned, but in the end, he nodded.

“Okay.” 

---

This time it was just a bruise around his wrist.

But, no, it wasn’t just because there shouldn’t be any marks. Aone hated that his mind had already started trying to minimize it. He didn’t want that to happen. He wouldn’t let that happen. 

“Aone?” Futakuchi was looking at him like he’d lost his mind. And maybe it seemed that way since Aone had asked Futakuchi to wait in their classroom until everyone left at the end of the day only for Aone to stare at him silently. “You good?”

“Yeah,” Aone said with a nod, pulling a package from his bag and hanging it over to Futakuchi. “Happy birthday.” 

“Oh,” Futakuchi blinked at the package before looking up at Aone. “Thanks.”

“They’re just sour gummies,” Aone mumbled. “I didn’t know what to get.” 

“Did you ask Kamasaki-san when my birthday was?” Aone nodded. “You didn’t have to…”

“Why not?”

“Huh?”

“Why wouldn’t I? You planned a party for me.” 

“What was I supposed to do? Your sister said you hadn’t celebrated your birthday with anyone but family since elementary school.”

“Futakuchi-kun,” Aone frowned, feeling self-conscious about the twisting sadness in his gut. “Do you just feel sorry for me?”

“What? No! I mean, I feel bad that people have been mean to you because you don’t deserve that, but I don’t pity you or anything.” Futakuchi reached out and touched Aone’s arm, his sleeve falling slightly and making it clearer that the bruising on his wrist had to have been made by someone grabbing him. “Do you pity me?”

“No,” Aone said resolutely. He felt a lot of things about Futakuchi and about his father, but pity wasn’t one of those things. Anger was the main emotion when he thought about what his father did to him. 

“Then you understand,” Futakuchi continued. “I just want you to be happy.” 

Futakuchi’s hand lingered for long enough that Aone felt a blush creeping up the back of his neck. It lingered for long enough that Aone finally had to break the silence between them.

“We should go to practice.”

“Yeah,” Futakuchi agreed.

It took him another few seconds to drop his hand and Aone was surprised how cold his arm felt without Futakuchi’s hand. 

---

It was 11:30 pm on Christmas Eve and Futakuchi was still at a family restaurant while they talked on the phone. 

They’d been on the phone together for almost 3 hours at this point and even though Aone felt himself drifting off, he couldn’t bring himself to hang up. 

“I think the workers want me to leave.”

“It’s pretty late.”

“They’re supposed to be open until midnight.”

“Are you the last person there?”

“Yeah.” 

“They were probably hoping to leave early.” 

Futakuchi didn’t respond, the silence deafening. It felt so loud that it woke Aone up a little. 

“If you don’t want to go home, you can come here.”

“I–” Futakuchi paused, swallowing. “I would, but the trains aren’t running anymore.”

“I’ll wake my dad up. We can pick you up.”

“I couldn’t do that.”

“Go to your aunt’s.”

“Aone-kun, I can’t.”

“You should be able to,” Aone told him, wanting to cry or scream. 

“It’s fine, Aone-kun. I can go home.”

“Will you be okay?”

The pause on the other end was too long for Aone to believe anything Futakuchi was about to say.

“I’ll be fine.”

Aone didn’t know how to help. Didn’t know how to fix this. 

“Futakuchi-kun–”

“I’ll really be okay.” Aone could imagine the placating smile on Futakuchi’s face. It was a smile that never reached his eyes. “It’s late. I’ll let you sleep.”

“You don’t need to hang up.”

“Good night, Aone-kun.”

Aone wanted to protest, but he knew that he was being a little irrational by thinking that if he stayed on the phone with Futakuchi, things would be okay.

“Good night, Futakuchi-kun.” 

It was nearly Christmas, but Aone fell asleep before the day changed over, all while thinking that it didn’t feel much like Christmas to him. 

---

“This is why Nametsu-chan thought you had a crush on him,” Futakuchi teased as they walked home. 

Aone didn’t respond, partially worried about Hinata and partially not wanting to engage with Futakuchi’s teasing. 

“It was too bad, though,” Futakuchi commented. “That had to suck.”

“Yeah,” Aone agreed. He couldn’t imagine that happening to him. 

“Just one of the things you can’t control, though.” Futakuchi smiled at Aone. “Having a crush is the same way.”

“Don’t.”

“Oh come on, I’d stop teasing you if you’d tell me who you like.”

“What if I don’t like anyone?”

“There has to be someone.”

“Kimura Atsushi,” Aone said, the name popping into his mind after having seen it in the credits of a show his sister had been watching. 

“I don’t even know who that is.”

“An actor.”

“You’re messing with me, aren’t you?” Aone didn’t respond and after looking at his for a bit, Futakuchi laughed. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop if you answer a yes or no question.”

“What?”

“Is there someone you like?”

Aone swallowed and looked away, strangely not anxious.

“Yes.”

---

“These are for you,” Nametsu said when Aone and Futakuchi arrived at lunch. 

“Thanks,” Futakuchi responded, taking the small bag of chocolates from Nametsu. “You sound so excited to be giving these to us.” 

“Why would I be excited to give chocolate to the entire volleyball team? Do you know how long it took to make all these?”

“You’re just trying to make sure you get a lot of chocolate on White Day,” Futakuchi retorted, raising an eyebrow when Nametsu handed Aone a different package than everyone else.”

“Playing favorites?”

“Of course,” Nametsu smirked. “Aone’s my favorite, so he gets a chocolate cupcake.” 

“Watch out, Nametsu-chan,” Onagawa said with a smirk. “People will start saying you and Aone-kun are dating.”

“What was that Onagawa-kun? You want to give back the chocolate I gave you?” She asked sarcastically as she glared at him. 

“Wait, no,” Onagawa pulled the back away from her, making everyone else laugh. 

“As if they’d be dating,” Futakuchi said. “Aone-kun is obviously too good for Nametsu-chan.” 

“Do I have to take back everyone’s chocolate?” Nametsu asked, turning her glare onto Futakuchi. “Maybe I should give all your chocolates to Aone-kun.” 

Obara started to complain, saying he had nothing to do with their teasing. Futakuchi turned, still smirking, to look at Aone.

“Aone-kun, you’d tell me if you were going to ask someone out, right?”

Aone gave him a look that he hoped showed just how insane he thought this line of questioning was.

“I’m serious! You said you had a crush on someone and I just want to know if you’re going to ask them out.”

“Like you can request that,” Nametsu said, having obviously been listening even as she tried to grab the chocolates back from Onagawa. “You didn’t tell any of us before you started dating your last girlfriend.”

“Well…”

“Nope,” Nametsu said, successfully grabbing Onagawa’s chocolates and placing them on top of Aone’s box. “You don’t get to make demands of poor Aone-kun.”

Aone smiled, shaking his head and handing the chocolates back to Onagawa. 

Once they’d all sat down and started eating, the conversation having drifted to the topic of volleyball, Aone leaned over toward Futakuchi. 

“I’d tell you,” he said, his voice only loud enough for Futakuchi to hear. 

Futakuchi glanced at him, the surprise in his eyes clearing and. after a moment, a soft, vulnerable smile replaced it.

“Thanks. That means a lot.”

Aone wondered if it was about time he told Futakuchi who his crush actually was. 

---

They had a week off before the new school year would begin. It was strange to think that they were about to be 3rd-years and that, after not that much longer, they’d graduate from high school. 

Soon, Aone would have known Futakuchi for two years. It felt like so much longer, but also it was strange to think how recent 1st-year felt. 

Futakuchi was excited because before the new school year started, his aunt was going to take him to Tokyo to see his mother and sister. In two years, that would be the first time Futakuchi would be seeing them in person and that made Aone immensely sad. 

But, that wasn’t until the end of the month. Today, he and Futakuchi were going to hang out like usual. Even though there was more to do in the town where Futakuchi lived and where their school was, Futakuchi insisted he was going to come to Aone, so now Aone was waiting at the train station for him to arrive.

He was late but hadn’t sent any messages to Aone, so Aone continued to wait. When the second train that he could’ve been on left without anyone getting off, Aone started to feel anxious. 

Recently, Aone had been researching what to do about abuse but hadn’t found much online that would be of much help. There was so much conflicting advice that he didn’t know what to do. A lot of people had recommended going to a teacher, but he didn’t trust any of their teachers to care enough. Next, they’d usually suggest the police, but Futakuchi had said the police wouldn’t help. 

What was he supposed to do? 

Another train arrived and after a minute or so, Futakuchi appeared, his appearance confirming Aone’s fears.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said, his fresh black eye no surprising Aone this time. “I was thinking about not coming, but I knew you’d guess why.”

All he could see was the black eye and the smallest bit of a bruise poking out from Futakuchi’s sleeves, but Aone was sure there was more. He was sure it just got worse. 

Aone reached out, grabbing Futakuchi’s unbruised wrist lightly, worried there might be more injuries hiding out of sight.

“Aone-kun?”

He seemed fine, so Aone turned and began to drag him back towards his house, Futakuchi not struggling much, though he stumbled a little and Aone realized he had a limp he hadn’t noticed before. 

“Aone-kun, what are you doing? Where are we going?”

“My house.”

“Wait, what? Why don’t we just go to a restaurant or something? We don’t need to go to your place.”

“This stops now.”

“Aone-kun, come on.”

“No,” Aone looked back at him. “I’m not helping you keep this secret.”

Futakuchi made a weak attempt at pulling away before giving up and letting himself be pulled along. Aone slowed down so that Futakuchi wouldn’t lose his footing, but he was single-minded in their destination. 

He opened his front door, almost going inside without taking his shoes off only for Futakuchi to tug him back.

“ Kaa-san ,” Aone called into the house. “Are you home?” 

“I’m in the kitchen,” Tomoko responded. “Are you and Futakuchi-kun going to hang out here?” 

Aone pulled Futakuchi into the kitchen, stopping just inside the doorway and waiting for his mom to turn around. 

“Taka-chan,” she said, turning to face them. “Did you hear– What happened?”

“Please help him,” Aone said, his voice rough as his throat closed not from stress, but from holding back tears. “Nobody will help him.” 

Tomoko rushed over, practically pushing Futakuchi into a chair before leaving. It only took a few moments before she returned with a first aid kit.

“I don’t think there’s much I can do about your eye,” Tomoko said. “I’ll get some ice when I’m done. What other injuries do you have?”

“Aone-san, it’s okay, really. Aone-kun just overreacted–”

“Futakuchi-kun, he didn’t overreact,” Tomoko interrupted. “This is very serious. What happened?”

Futakuchi remained quiet and, much like Nametsu had done previously, she looked at his hands for a moment before the serious look on her face turned sad. 

“You weren’t in a fight, were you? Someone did this to you.” Futakuchi was looking at his lap, his muscles taut. “Kenji-kun, who did this?”

When he still wouldn’t speak, Tomoko looked at Aone. He swallowed, trying to push down the part of him that was about to cry.

“Taka-chan, has this happened before?” Aone nodded. “Do you know who did this to him?”

“His father,” Aone said, hating the way the words made Futakuchi flinch. He knew Futakuchi didn’t want this, but Aone was certain they couldn’t keep ignoring it. “In the past two years, Futakuchi-kun has had a lot of black eyes. I’ve seen hand marks on his neck and wrists. He had a bad cut on his forehead once. I think he hurt his wrist once, too. And this time, he’s limping. And nobody does anything. The teachers never ask. He’s absent a lot and they don’t ask. His aunt tried telling the police when he was little and they didn’t do anything. A teacher tried telling the police when he was little and they wouldn’t do anything. Why won’t anyone do anything?” 

Aone rubbed his eyes, having started to cry. He didn’t mean to cry, but it was all too much. Suddenly, everything that he’d been keeping in needed to come out.

“Nobody cares about any of us. Why don’t they care? I can’t see the board but they make me sit in the back. I still can’t talk most of the time, but everyone just ignores me. I gave up on me, but they gave up on Futakuchi-kun too and it’s not fair. Why don’t they care about us?”

Tomoko looked at Aone, her mouth open slightly for a moment before she came back to her sense. She patted Futakuchi on the hand and stood, walking over to pull Aone into a hug. 

 “I’m sorry, Taka-chan. I forgot that you’re still a kid no matter how much you’ve grown up. I’ll do my best to help you both.”

“Aone-san,” Futakuchi said quietly. “You really don’t have to do this.”

“Kenji-kun,” Tomoko said, walking back over to kneel in front of him. “This isn’t okay and I’m going to make sure it stops.”

“I–” Futakuchi still wouldn’t look her in the eyes. “Okay… But can you at least wait until April? I’m going to visit my mom and sister soon and I’m afraid– I don’t want him to take away permission because he’s angry with me.” 

Tomoko looked pensively at Futakuchi before sighing deeply and nodding. 

“I don’t like it, but I’ll wait until April. Do you trust your aunt?” Futakuchi nodded. “Okay. Let’s talk to her in April. She’ll be able to do more than I can.” 

“Okay,” Futakuchi nodded solemnly.

“Stay here tonight. I’ll get our futon and you can stay in Taka-chan’s room.” 

Futakuchi looked like he was going to argue for a moment but, in the end, nodded again. 

“Good. Now, take off your jacket and let me patch you up.”

---

“Futakuchi-kun,” Aone said into the silence of his dark room, unsure if Futakuchi was asleep or not.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Huh? Why?”

“I know you didn’t want– I did something you didn’t want.”

“Yeah, but I guess you had to,” Futakuchi said with a humorless laugh. “I’m sorry I was making you… I’ve never seen you cry.”

“Oh.” Aone was a little embarrassed about his breakdown. It made him feel childish and like he’d made the situation about himself. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize… I think I needed to see how upset you were, yah know?” 

“Really?”

“Yeah.” 

They were quiet for another long stretch of time, but Aone could feel that there was something Futakuchi wanted to say even if they couldn’t see each other. 

“I asked you what your favorite animal was,” he said slowly. “And you said you didn’t have one because you were too old.”

More silence. More waiting. 

“I don’t think I had a favorite animal in junior high school. But once I moved here… I do now. I like bears now.”

“Bears?”

“The notebook you got me… It felt like the first time in a while that anyone had cared about me. I know my mom and sister and aunt care about me but at the time… It felt like I was alone. I felt like I was on my own and that I was the only one who’d care about me. My dad didn’t care. The judge didn’t care. My friends turned against me when it got out that I was bi. Here in Miyagi, the teachers didn’t care. Some of them already seemed not to like me. Then you left that notebook on my desk. You weren’t making fun of me or even judging me. You just… You just did it. Then you just kept being nice to me and I didn’t really understand why, but I knew that you meant it.”

Aone didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what he could say, so instead he simply reached his hand down toward Futakuchi. He wasn’t totally sure why he thought that made more sense than just thinking of something to say, but he’d done it before he could consider that.

After a few moments, Futakuchi took his hand, holding it tightly. 

“I’m afraid,” Futakuchi said, his voice only audible because of the complete silence surrounding them. 

“I’m here,” Aone responded. 

“I know.” 

Aone was tired, but he made himself stay awake until Futakuchi’s grip loosened and his hand fell back onto his futon. 

“I promise,” Aone murmured into the quiet room, “you won’t be alone ever again.” 

Only then did Aone let himself drift off to sleep, his hand still hanging off the bed.

Chapter Text

When Futakuchi returned from Tokyo, he called Aone and quietly told him that his aunt was willing to meet with Aone’s mother sometime soon and to pass along her phone number. That meeting was set up quickly on a Friday afternoon not long after classes started. 

Aone and Futakuchi headed for the Kamasaki house, with Aone assuming he’d drop Futakuchi off and go. He didn’t think this was something he should be involved in. 

“I don’t think this is what my aunt meant when she invited you over,” Futakuchi joked on the way, though it was obvious he was trying to hide his nervousness. 

“Huh?”

“Remember she said I should bring you over?”

“Yeah…” Aone wasn’t sure what to say, but unsurprisingly Futakuchi understood. Or, partially understood.

“Do you not want to come with me?”

“Huh?” He felt like an idiot, repeating the same thing over and over. “I mean… I thought you wouldn’t want me to come.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Futakuchi raised an eyebrow, pausing as they arrived in front of his aunt’s house. “I trust you.” 

Aone nodded, the words making him feel warm. He’d come to trust Futakuchi implicitly and he knew Futakuchi cared for him, but hearing those words felt good. 

“I trust you too,” he responded because he didn’t know what else to say. 

“Well then,” Futakuchi said with a humorless laugh. “Guess we have to go in now.

---

Aone’s mother was already there when they arrived, drinking tea at the dining table. Yumiko sat across from Tomoko, gesturing for them to take their seats. Aone sat next to his mother, but Futakuchi paused, looking uncertain about sitting next to Yumiko. 

After a few long moments of silence, Aone stood and move his chair so it was on the end of the table, letting Futakuchi share a corner with him. 

Futakuchi smiled at him as he took a seat, Yumiko looking at them strangely as they did.

“I’ll be honest, I’m a bit confused,” Yumiko said. “I assumed something had happened between the two of you, but obviously you’re on good terms.”

“I guess it would’ve seemed that way,” Tomoko admitted. “I wanted Kenji-kun to explain, though.” 

“Thank you, Aone-san,” Futakuchi said, bowing his head. 

The room was silent for a long stretch, everyone looking at Futakuchi, while he kept his eyes on his lap. 

“Futakuchi-kun,” Aone said, his concern for Futakuchi outweighing the nervousness of meeting his aunt. “It’s okay.”

“Yeah, okay,” Futkauchi sighed. “Aunt… I need your help.” 

“Huh?” Yumiko’s confusion quickly switched to concern. “What’s wrong?”

“My father… I convinced Yasushi-san not to tell you, but he– my father has–”

Futakuchi stopped, looking sick. Aone could understand the feeling that the words wouldn’t come out. 

“His father hurts him,” Aone finished, his hands shaking and his throat tightening. But he could do this. Just this once, he could do it. “He’s had black eyes and cuts and hand marks. His wrist and ankle too.” 

“Kenji-kun, really?” Yumiko asked, her face falling. “He didn’t stop?”

“No,” Futakuchi said, shaking his head. “It just got worse. When I was little he really only slapped me. Since I came here, it’s been a lot worse.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Yumiko looked hurt and Futakuchi flinched. “I mean, why did you have Yasushi-kun lie to me?”

“You already tried to stop him once. And a teacher in Tokyo too. Nothing came of it, so what was the point? If I told you and you told the police and he found out, it would just get worse.”

“Kenji-kun…” Yumiko trailed off, lost in thought for a while before she continued. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” he mumbled. 

“I should’ve–” She stopped, shaking her head. “Forget that. What do you need now? I won’t let them keep ignoring this.” 

“I don’t need him to get in trouble,” Futakuchi said. “I just don’t want to live with him anymore. But I don’t want to go back to Tokyo right now.”

“Okay,” she said, nodding. “We can do that. We can move you in here today. Yasushi can sleep on the couch.”

“Wait, what? He doesn’t need to give up his bed.”

“He should be moving out soon anyways.”

“He just started working!”

“Exactly,” she nodded, smiling at Futakuchi. “Kenji-kun, I’ll fix what I can. You don’t need to carry this on your own anymore.” 

“Thank you.” Futakuchi was so quiet, Aone almost couldn’t hear him. 

“And Aone-kun.” Yumiko turned her eyes to Aone. “I’m guessing you’re the one who asked your mother for help with this. Thank you for caring.” 

Aone shook his head, finding himself unable to speak. It was as if the only thing that had made him able to talk was Futakuchi’s earlier difficulty. Now that Futakuchi didn’t need to speak, Aone didn’t either. 

“If you ever need anything,” Tomoko said, “we’re willing to help. Kenji-kun has been a good friend to Taka-chan.”

Futakuchi looked up at Aone and smiled in the soft way that made Aone’s heart skip a beat. He smiled back, wondering if this meant things would actually be okay.

---

Just before Golden Week, much to Aone’s embarrassment, his mother went to Dateko to give his homeroom teacher an earful about not looking after his students. She also brought him to get glasses and while Futakuchi made fun of him a little bit, in the end, he told him they looked good. 

June was coming up quickly, the realization that soon they’d retire from the volleyball team hitting him hard.

It was the very end of May when he got home from school to find both his parents waiting for him.

“Taka-chan, come sit with us,” Tomoko said, making Aone’s anxiety instantly spike. 

He took a seat at the dining room table, waiting for someone to explain what he’d done wrong. 

“Takkun,” Goro said, his voice too serious. At least at home, his father wasn’t a particularly serious person, so the tone made Aone feel worse. “Your mother and I have been talking.”

“You make it sound so scary,” Tomoko said. “Taka-chan, you’re not in trouble. We’ve been talking about your… issue. We’re sorry we made you feel like you needed to hide it.” 

Aone didn’t know what to say, but that was probably fine since his ‘issue’ likely wouldn’t let him say anything even if he tried. 

“We found a doctor in Sendai who has experience with, umm… with selective mutism.” Tomoko seemed to be able to tell what Aone was going to say as she continued. “We’re not just going to let this go. We should’ve done something about it when you were still little. It might be harder to… Now that you’re older it’ll probably be harder to overcome, but we want you to be able to be successful when you graduate.” 

Aone still didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what he could say. 

“Takkun,” Goro’s voice had softened and he smiled at Aone. “We’re not angry at you. We’re sorry we didn’t pay more attention.” 

Aone looked away and nodded, smiling because high school had really turned out to be a strange ride. 

—

Getting to the Interhigh Nationals Tournament had been incredible. Losing 0-2 hadn’t felt as incredible, but Aone honestly didn’t think he could complain. 

Tokyo was hot in July and Aone wasn’t sure how anyone managed to live here. Even nighttime on the roof of the building where they were staying was still too hot. 

Aone and Futakuchi had ended up on the roof after they both snuck out of the sleeping room. Nobody was even pretending to sleep, their adrenaline still not having simmered down completely. Even with the disappointment of losing, everyone was in pretty decent spirits. Futakuchi and Aone weren’t nearly as spirited so, not wanting to bring everyone down, they’d slipped out. 

“I don’t think they really believe we’re all going to retire,” Futakuchi said after they’d spent some time staring into the night. 

“We didn’t say we were.”

“It’s what Dateko does, though.” Futakuchi didn’t sound happy about it. 

“I don’t know if I want to.”

“Me neither.” Futakuchi let out a long sigh. “I think we have to. It’ll be a cleaner break, I guess.”

Aone didn’t respond, having nothing to say. There wasn’t much he could say that they didn’t already know. They were going to graduate in around eight months. 

Eight months. That was all they had left.

“What’re your plans?” Futakuchi asked, his mind in the same place.

“My uncle in Sendai works for a construction company and recommended the job since I won’t need to talk much.” 

Futakuchi laughed. “Guess that’s a good enough reason. I can’t imagine you as a construction worker, though.”

“What about you?”

“I don’t know,” Futakuchi said with a shrug. “I’m not going to university, so probably electrician or plumber or something like that.”

“Are you moving back here?”

“To Tokyo?” Futakuchi glanced at Aone as he nodded. “Nah, probably not.” 

“Really?”

“I like Miyagi,” Futakuchi said quietly. 

“Wouldn’t Tokyo be better? Your family is here. And it’s easier… Well, if you wanted to date a guy…”

Futakuchi laughed again, turning to face Aone.

“Even a year ago I can’t imagine you saying something like that to me. You’ve gotten more confident.”

“It’s only with you,” Aone grumbled.

“Why is that?”

“I’ve already told you.”

“No, you’ve told me why you talked to me. Why are you comfortable with me?”

Aone opened and closed his mouth, not expecting that clarification. He hadn’t really thought about there being a difference between why he talked to Futakuchi at first and why he was comfortable with him, but he guessed there must be a reason. Even people like Nametsu were still not on the same level as Futakuchi. 

It could be because of his continued crush since he was surprised that didn’t make it harder to talk to Futakuchi. It wasn’t just his acceptance. The whole volleyball team accepted him as he was. 

After a long time of thinking, Aone just shrugged.

“Because you’re my best friend.” Aone snorted. “Besides, you can read my mind. What’s the point of not telling you things?”

“I can’t completely read your mind,” Futakuchi told him. “When you look at me… I can’t tell what you think of me.”

“What I think of you?”

Futakuchi nodded slowly. Thanks to the light pollution of Tokyo, Aone could see Futakuchi well even though it was night. As he looked at Aone, he was frowning slightly, his eyes clouded with thought.

“I think you’re funny and nice. I think you’re smart. I think you’re sarcastic and a little mean sometimes.” Futakuchi laughed at that. “I think you’re a good brother and a good person. I think you’re…”

Handsome.

But he didn’t think he could say that without throwing up, so he trailed off, looking away as Futakuchi looked directly at him with expectant eyes. 

“Aone-kun,” Futakuchi said, his voice tight. “I was thinking… I actually have already been looking at apartments in Sendai to move into after graduating. I found a building that’s affordable, but not awful or anything. There are a few open apartments and I thought it might be cool if we lived in the same building. I don’t know anyone in Sendai, but I hear there’s a community volleyball team in the area, too.” 

Aone opened his mouth. Why was he always lost for words? It was one thing when his throat closed up and he just couldn’t speak, but it was a whole other thing when the words themselves wouldn’t come. So often lately, he’d felt speechless just because he was caught off-guard by so much happening around him. 

“I hope I’m not being pushy,” Futakuchi mumbled, looking uncharacteristically shy. 

“I think you’re handsome,” Aone blurted out. “I could never understand why any of your exes would break up with you because I’d never be able to.”

“Wh–?”

“When you started dating Maeda-san I felt like a terrible friend because I was so jealous. Of her.”

This hadn’t been what he meant to say. 

“You asked me if I had someone I liked and I said I did but that I didn’t want to tell you and that’s because it was– it is you.” 

Aone stopped, all the words he’d not meant to say now out in the open. He’d been so afraid of what might happen if he told Futakuchi the truth, but somehow he didn’t feel anxious at all. Maybe it was the realization that their friendship was strong enough to handle one rejection. Maybe his nerves were just so shot from the tournament that he had no nervousness left. 

“How long?” Futakuchi asked, his voice quiet and hard to read. 

“Since first year.”

“And you never told me?”

“I don’t think I would’ve ever told you if you weren’t bisexual,” Aone admitted. “Or at least not until I could’ve figured out if you would be okay with me being gay. And even if you were okay with me being gay, some people feel differently when someone has a crush on them.” 

“I would never– Well, I guess there’s no way to know what I’d be like if I weren’t bisexual.” Futakuchi let out a long sigh. “I wish you told me sooner.”

“Why?” Aone asked, suddenly worried even though it seemed pretty clear that Futakuchi wasn’t grossed out or scared by his crush.

“Because I’ve liked you at least since second year.” 

The way he said it so casually made it hard for Aone to completely understand the words he’d just heard. Even though his own words had managed to tumble out of his mouth without much anxiety or resistance, he’d still felt a little self-conscious saying them. Futakuchi, though, seemed unfazed and Aone felt like he must have misheard. 

“You know what, it might have even been first year, the day I first went to your house. You told me the reason you wanted to stick up for me was because you could tell that people knowing about my dad bothered me. I’d never said anything and I think I’d told you a few times that I didn’t care if people knew, but you could still tell. But I didn’t think I had a chance and then Katsumi-chan showed up and… I think I liked you while I was dating her. I feel bad about that.

“But I know for sure that the moment I really realized it–or, I guess, accepted it–was that day we ran into my aunt and I heard you laugh for the first time. You were laughing at me, but there was something about your laugh that… I knew I wanted to make you laugh more often and I wished I could hear you laugh every day. Maybe that’s why I told you the truth that day, about my fight. Maybe I was hoping if I told you that, then confessing would be easier.” 

Aone opened his mouth, but no sound came out. After all, what could he say to all of that? He wasn’t exactly a master of words. At the moment, the only thing he could think was that Nametsu was going to tell him off when she found out. 

“I don’t know why I didn’t tell you then, to be honest,” Futakuchi continued. “You told me you were gay and that… Fuck, it scared me more. I guess the idea that I might have a chance made the idea of being rejected even scarier.”

“I was afraid it was obvious,” Aone told him quietly. “I thought you’d realize.”

“I never imagined…” Futakuchi laughed, shaking his head. “I never thought I had a chance.”

“You didn’t have a chance?”

“Of course not, you’re great,” Futakuchi told him. “You’re nice and thoughtful. You’re empathetic and caring. You work hard when you set your mind to something. When you smile and laugh, your entire face lights up. If you lived somewhere other than Miyagi, you’d have been breaking boys' hearts left and right.” 

Aone shook his head. That was a bit of an exaggeration, but it made him smile. 

“Hey, Aone-kun,” Futakuchi’s voice lowered as he stepped closer to Aone. “I was wondering… Could I kiss you?”

When he started high school, Aone thought it was going to be the worst three years of his life. Instead, he’d ended up here, with friends and teammates and, it seemed, a boyfriend. 

“Yeah.”

High school really had turned out to be very strange.

---

Nametsu was the first person they told. It only made sense since she was the one who knew the most about them. 

She spent what felt like five minutes berating them for taking so long before congratulating them and telling Futakuchi he better be a good boyfriend. 

Later, while they were out with the other third-years, Futakuchi spoke up casually.

“I’m dating someone. A guy.”

Onagawa and Obara paused, Onagawa dropping the french fry he’d been about to shove in his mouth. 

“One more time,” Onagawa finally said. 

“I have a boyfriend. Do you have a problem with that?”

“My only problem is with you being the only one here who can get a date,” Onagawa told him. “You! I don’t get it.”

Futakuchi tried to look offended, but he ended up laughing. 

“Obara-kun, we okay?” He asked and Obara nodded. 

“Yeah, I don’t care.”

“Do we know him?” Onagawa asked.

Futakuchi’s eyes flickered to Aone for only a second and that was long enough for him to get his answer.

“It’s Aone-kun.” 

“What?” Onagawa shouted. “Were you just going to leave that out?”

“Aone-kun was nervous about telling you guys,” Futakuchi said with a shrug. “It’s not like it’s your business.” 

“How do you always date people out of your league?” Onagawa grumbled.

That launched him and Futakuchi into a playful argument and Aone smiled, the twisting anxiety in his stomach loosening as he realized that his worst fears weren’t going to be realized. By some miracle, he’d managed to make friends with some great people. Maybe it was the universe apologizing for all the shit from the past or maybe it was just good luck. But he didn’t care, because he was happy.

---

Aone was finished getting ready to leave, still a little dazed by this whole trip. 

He couldn’t believe he was going to go see Hinata play in the J-league. It just seemed so insane to him that not that long ago, they’d all been high schoolers just trying their best.

“Kenji-kun,” Aone said, leaving the bathroom of their hotel room. “We’re going to be late.”

Futakuchi groaned from his futon. They liked to stay in Japanese-style hotels since there would never be any of the bullshit that came with trying to check-in to a room with one bed. They just said they needed two futons and it would end there. Nobody needed to know that those two futons touched or that Futakuchi often ended up half on Aone’s futon. 

“Do you want to get something to eat or not?”

“No,” he groaned, pulling himself to a sitting position. “Why is it so early?”

“It’s not that early,” Aone countered. “And we’re going to get something to eat before the game.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Futakuchi grumbled, groaning as he stood. “I’m too old for this.”

“You’re 23 and I don’t know why getting up at 9 in the morning would be affected by your age.”

“How come you only talk like that when we’re alone? You know, nobody believes me when I say you’re always sassing me.” 

Aone shook his head, gesturing to the bathroom. 

“I’ll put away your futon. Go get ready.”

“Okay,” Futakuchi snorted, pausing to kiss Aone on the cheek. “Only because you asked so nicely.” 

Aone turned his head to give Futakuchi a quick kiss on the lips before pushing him gently toward the bathroom. 

It hadn’t been that long since they met, only 7 years and a bit, but Aone couldn’t imagine a world without Futakuchi. His first friend, his best friend, his boyfriend. 

Getting a new student in May had hardly the usual, but neither were Futakuchi or Aone, so it fit. 

“Kenji-kun,” Aone called after him. 

Futakuchi stuck his head out of the bathroom, already brushing his teeth. 

“Yeah?” He asked through a mouthful of toothpaste.

“I love you.”

Futakuchi smiled, a little toothpaste dripped down the side of his mouth that he quickly whipped away. 

“Love you too.” 

They’d been bruised. They’d been broken. They’d been alone.

Now they were happy. Together.