Chapter Text
Gepard’s been called many things over the course of his life:
Quote, “ ever-scrupulous ” by Serval. The so-called “ savior of Belobog ”, by his charges.
But he’s never been called a traditionalist .
If you asked him in the absence of his parents, he’d muse to you the object of his confusion:
Why, if so many ancient relics and customs were left to be forgotten by the endless march of time, were ancient traditions so ridiculously important to the Landaus?
Logically, they should’ve been left to the past like everything else, and yet―
“Every Landau needs a ruling companion. You are no exception.” Echo the words of his parents like an endless hymn. He groans, to nobody in particular, as he flashes a charming smile toward another girl he doesn’t even know the name of, let alone hold any interest in.
Oh, the blessings of nobility.
Sampo Koski is a man of many faces.
A mercenary. A businessman. A friend .
The bane of one Gepard Landau’s existence .
Really, he finds the fourth title a little offensive .
After all, without his continuous and obviously desired presence― he shakes another guard off his tail, with an infuriating smirk all the while― what entertainment wouldGepard have ? All the fun criminals were in the Underground, the Overworld teeming with nothing but petty thieves and scam artists.
He dips into an alleyway, wiping accumulated sweat off his forehead with a frankly unnecessary amount of flair. His eyes quickly flit toward the sharp corner he’d turned, breathing a sigh of relief as a puff of smoke appears to further obscure his presence.
“ Koski .”
Ah. He’d know that tone anywhere .
“ Gepard! ” Sampo grins, noting the stark lack of amusement against the captain’s features. “To what do I owe the pleasure ? ”
“There is no pleasure .” Gepard groans. “You’re exhausting .”
Sampo scoffs, pouting in a way that looks borderline offended. He takes a cautious step backwards, allowing himself a painless exit when the time comes. “Mm, really?” He taunts. “Admit it. You’d get bored without me.” He quickly crouches to avoid the blow Gepard aims at his head, the blonde growling under his breath.
“ Bored is a strong word.” Gepard finally manages to catch Sampo off guard, and the mercenary silently laments how easily he left himself open. “More like I’d finally get some peace .”
Sampo grunts as Gepard presses him against the brick wall of the alley, slipping a familiar pair of handcuffs over his wrists. “You seem more pent up than usual, and I didn’t think that was possible.” He teases. “What’s got you all in a twist, hmm ?”
“You.” Gepard says, voice laced with a tired note as he hauls a chuckling Sampo forward.
“I just don’t see the point.” Gepard laments, having been harried by some of his own guards back to his living quarters. “I have duties to attend to―”
“Your family, might I remind you―” Gepard fights tooth and nail not to roll his eyes, “is of your utmost priority.”
A bolt of confidence runs through Gepard. “And not our people, father?”
“Enough of your quarreling .” His mother huffs, voice domineering within the small space they occupied. “You can still maintain your position while holding a spouse. But until that time comes , you’ll have to dedicate your time to finding one. Stall all you like: it only hinders you in the end.”
Gepard grits his teeth, lamenting the trueness of his mother’s statement. But what good is finding a spouse going to do him when he does not harbor any semblance of affection toward any one of his prospects?
He doesn’t acknowledge his parents verbally, refusing to let them win more than they already have. He merely assents with a nod, before turning on his heel.
“Regrettably,” he starts sarcastically, “I have an interrogation to do. And I assume you’re going to line up some more bachelorettes.” He seethes, double doors swinging shut behind him.
"You’re going to get the same answers you always do, you know.”
Gepard doesn’t open his mouth, only rolling his eyes into what’s damn near the back of his head as he sits down across from Sampo, still handcuffed. “And I’m going to ask the same questions. So let’s just get to it.”
“You know,” Sampo leans forward. “It’s funny that you don’t just put me in front of the grand jury. No, no― just you. I’m almost starting to think you like me.”
“Don’t get your hopes up.” Gepard scoffs . “It’s a matter of efficiency. For some reason, I’m the only one you’ll talk to with a semblance of honesty. Are you sure it's not you who likes me , Koski?” Gepard indulges himself with a smirk.
“You know,” Sampo’s tone is suspiciously even, “it’s not professional to encourage entanglements in the workplace, is it? I should have you reported.”
“I have no room for entanglements.” Gepard groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m being arranged with a million different bachelorettes, haven’t you heard? I have to make a choice .”
“So why not choose me?”
Gepard’s eyes narrow. “And what would I want to do with a wanted criminal?”
Sampo leans forward again, grinning. “ Ah ― allow me to rephrase, then. A version of me.” A look of confusion meets his eyes once again. “Oh, please . Do you think I’m not well-versed in fake identities? What’s another one to me?” He waves his hand dismissively.
Dangerously, Gepard finds himself beginning to consider the offer. “And what’s in it for you?”
“Getting out of these handcuffs, for one.” Sampo states, clanking the metal for effect. “Nothing more than a bit of leniency, I assure you. After all, a man has to make his profits somehow, and the constant threat of being arrested is a bit of hindrance.” He sighs exasperatedly.
Gepard goes silent in thought.
The world was no stranger to arrangements such as this one anymore. While in years past such romantic endeavors were frowned upon, relationships of all types were openly celebrated nowadays― one that came to mind for Gepard was that of Bronya and Seele. And, it wasn’t as though Sampo had made a bad offer . The perks of having such a silver tongue, he supposed.
He looks at Sampo incredulously, before offering a terse nod. “Fine. But, only until my parents forget the matter entirely― and then this ends , got it?”
Sampo grins, and Gepard agitatedly notes he’d slipped out of his handcuffs long ago.
“Then ‘till death do we part , Gepard Landou.”