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Tango lay there in his bed. It’d been a few days since he’d found out he was soulbound to Jimmy. He was obviously immediately told how much danger this put him in as Jimmy was always the first to evoke permadeath on the life SMPs. This made him nervous, but at the same time he felt equally as guilty over how he had incurred their first meeting. It was his fault. Not Jimmy’s. He had led Jimmy one step closer to death. They had got on like a house on fire, well, a ranch on fire. Jimmy had praised him for his building and even though it was nothing like what anyone else could do, he’d never forget the way Jimmy’s eyes lit up when he first saw it. The way he had turned to Tango and smiled at him. It warmed Tango’s heart, he had never been treated this way, appreciated for just doing what he can, celebrated for trying his best. It made him want this soul bonding to last forever, no permadeath, just them, for eternity.
He’d heard about a party Jimmy had attended on a different server from Joel and the image of Jimmy in his dress had stuck with him ever since. He could only imagine how beautiful he had looked, Tango wished he had been there to walk with him, dance with him, look at him. Tango would have probably messed something up and have to apologise, but Jimmy being the lovely person he is, he’d just brush it off. Say it's nothing. Tango sighs deeply, he knew he and Jimmy were soulbound but it was just for this server right? He’d never be able to truly show Jimmy how much he wanted to experience with the man.
This is how Jimmy finds Tango, lying on his bed, melancholic. Jimmy had just got home from keeping the animals and sat down in front of the mirror. “Tango?”
“Yes, Jimmy?”
“Are you ok? You’ve been there all morning.”
“Yes, it’s nothing Jim, don't worry.”
He wanted nothing more than to watch as Jimmy did his hair in the mirror and talk all of these feelings out. Maybe Jimmy would feel the same and this could become some kind of celebration, or maybe he was just putting up with Tango. Maybe he was just trying to survive and knew this relied on Tango so he was making sure they had a good relationship. Maybe it didn’t matter that it was Tango to Jimmy. Maybe Tango was the one making a big deal over their newfound bond. Maybe they were just colleagues. Not even friends and certainly not more than that.
This idea wracked Tango’s mind for the next few days. He was unnecessary, just a pawn in Jimmy’s life to help him shake the so-called curse he was under. He became more lethargic these days, life felt a little bit heavier and so he moved as such. Everything was ten times more difficult than before but every time Jimmy would look at him or smile at him, it went away for a moment. These moments were what kept Tango going. As much as it all would be easier for him if he were dead, he wanted to help Jimmy, he was going to help them survive for as long as he could just to see the glee in Jimmy’s eyes when they would narrowly escape death, or make a new alliance. It kept him going. His rancher kept him going.
One day, Tango woke up first, he rolled over and stared at Jimmy, watching him sleep, his brows unknitted, his face relaxed and Tango realised just how much he would sacrifice just to see Jimmy this unbothered, every day. He couldn’t just mope around, he needed his rancher to know how much he meant to him, even if it risked losing him. He snuck out of his bed and walked over to their shared desk, picking up a pen and paper and he started writing. There was no way he could say all he needed to say to Jimmy to his face without having a nervous breakdown and so he would write. He would write Jimmy a well crafted letter and leave it to rest on the side while he went out to meet Etho. And so he wrote:
Jimmy, I want to give you the world. I want to be able to bring you pretty little things I find around the server. I want to be able to tell you everything and never lie to you. I want to earn your trust and your affection. You deserve to be praised for your kind heart, your good taste, and your amazing skills. I want to say so much more but I don’t know how you’ll take this so I’ll stop here. But Jimmy, you are so much more than just a friend to me. You're my rancher, and I hope you stay that way forever.
Tango <3
P.s. I’ll be at Etho’s if you want to talk
The letter felt clunky and unpolished but it was a raw representation of his feelings and he wanted Jimmy to see who he truly was and what he truly felt with no filter. No practised speeches or rewritten lines. Just natural Tango, and his imperfect literacy.
He got up. It wouldn’t be long now before Jimmy woke up and he needed to get out of here. Tango found the feather he had taken yesterday on his walk home, it reminded him of Jimmy. It was a canary feather, birds that were used to warn people of the end in the same way Jimmy’s death normally signified the beginning of the end for the servers. But canaries themselves were birds of beauty, they represented compassion and selflessness and all the qualities Tango knew Jimmy held highly. It was perfect. He tucked it in under the folded letter and left silently, to make his way to Etho’s boat.
The day moved on slowly for Tango, he sat at Etho and Joel’s table just waiting for Jimmy to find him. It was agonising but he didn’t want to go to Jimmy himself in fear of rushing the man. He probably needed space. Joel helped him through the day, reassuring Tango that all would be ok, Joel knew Jimmy better than anyone and so he trusted him. Etho warned him that he would have to go back eventually, there were only two beds in the boat and Joel and Etho were not going to become his own personal hotel. It was harsh but Etho knew this was the only way to stop Tango becoming a recluse, he may have been a hermit but he didn't have to be that kind of hermit. Tango silently thanked Etho for his sternness, it gave him confidence and while he’d never tell him to his face, he valued Etho’s honesty.
He’d just picked himself up and prepared to leave when he heard a familiar voice coming from below. Jimmy. Fear spread from his heart and shot through his veins but he needed to do this, for Jimmy. If it didn’t work out, he could always be like Scott or Cleo with their partners. He took a deep breath, looked Etho in the eye, gave a nod and walked down to where Jimmy was waiting. “Hi”
“Shall we walk?” Jimmy looks over his shoulder where his eyes meet a nosy Joel who just gives him an awkward thumbs up at being caught.
“Yeah, yeah lets do that” Tango didn’t want to press anything so he just let Jimmy lead the conversation
“I read your note”
“Oh”
“Yeah”
“Um, what do you think”
“About what you were saying?”
“Yeah” The whole conversation was stilted and awkward, the gentle back and forth continued.
“I thought you didn’t even like me as a friend”
“What?”
“I mean you never really seemed… happy”
“I was, well, I was nervous. I felt like I was holding you back”
“Tango… You could never hold me back”
“Really?”
“Yes, really, you help me, I’m so useless at this and being with you I just feel, safe…”
“Oh”
“Not very talkative today huh?”
“No, sorry, my whole world view has kind of just been shifted.”
“That's ok, but Tango let me tell you that I love just being with you. I would stay up all night with you when you pull all-nighters if you wanted me to, talking or not, but if you want we can go back to the ranch now?”
“That’d be good, thank you Jimmy”
And so they did. They circled back, making it back to the ranch only to be greeted by the sight of a small canary bird sitting on the gate to the ranch… ‘fitting’ thought Tango.
They made their way inside and sat down on the bed, both cross legged, facing each other. The conversation flowed smoother this time.
“Jimmy, I know what you said before but I’m going to need full confirmation from you. Please be honest, do you actually like me as more than a friend”
“Yes! I don’t know exactly what, but what we have is definitely more than a friendship, Tango, you are my rancher and I want you to know that wherever we are, that is what you will always be” Jimmy reached out to grab Tango’s hands and when he didn’t pull away he smiled gently, trying to catch Tango’s red eyes.Jimmy said to Tango that evening that he would keep his promise and stay up with him all night and he tried, he tried so hard but eventually he let sleep overcome him. Tango, of course, just kept talking but once he had noticed he picked Jimmy up in his arms and placed him down on the bed. He was sleeping so peacefully that Tango almost wanted to join him, to forget about the contraption he was working on and just join Jimmy in a blissful sleep that nothing could wake him from.
Their time together came to an end. It wasn’t content or comfortable. It was a messy death where neither of them got to say goodbye. They were ripped from the world, from each other. Days felt longer, Jimmy cried each night before he slept, Tango stopped socialising with the other hermits. Without each other they were no longer complete but both parties had a feeling deep down that one day, they’d meet, they’d live in the same place once again.
And it did happen, the rift opened and their two worlds were connected. Their first meeting was as desperate and loving as they could make it, like a string had been holding them together all this time and when they saw each other it snapped, pulling them together. They held each other in the Tumble town tunnel for what felt like hours. The only words ever conversed were Tango whispering to Jimmy “You look insanely pretty,” While Jimmy said nothing, Tango could feel the meaning behind the hug, the days of longing and the sleepless nights all led up to this moment.Jimmy just untucked his head and smiled at Tango, the smile Tango had fallen in love with all those weeks ago.
Jimmy led Tango, by the hand, to his house and it seemed as if months of built up emotions were gushing out at once “I want to buy you pretty little things and never ever lie to you, watch you get dressed and compliment your taste” The sentiment was so familiar, for it was the same as the words Tango had once written to Jimmy. They were on the same page. They wanted the same life and they never wanted to let go. Tango finally felt the confidence to say those words he’d longed to all the way back when they first met “I wish I’d had the chance to walk with you to parties, you would wear a dress and I would say I’m sorry, for something” He shook his head, laughing at the silliness of it all. They were together again at last and both of them were spilling all their secrets to each other, there was just one that remained unsaid but they both felt it. From the warmth of Jimmy’s hand in his, to the way they walked perfectly in step, or how they made eye contact every so often because neither could take his eyes off the other. It ran between them so clearly. Love.