Chapter Text
“Sooo, a skinwalker, then.”
“What? No – I”
“Creepy not-quite-animals, intelligence of a human, evidence of weird blood magic. Skinwalker”
The bewildered stare makes it clear we are starting from the bottom up.
“You came to me because you were having trouble with something you couldn’t explain, and even though you personally think I’m a quack, your people are scared, and you called me to make them feel better.
“You tell me the descriptions you have gotten from witnesses, describe the states the bodies have been found in, and other odd occurrences, and I tell you that what you are dealing with is a skinwalker. A former human being who, through blood magic, usually a specific animal sacrifice, has given themselves the ability to disguise themselves as animals, to walk in the skins of animals, so to speak. They are different from other ‘human-turned-monster’ things in that they retain almost all cognitive function post transformation. It is just that they require continuous blood sacrifice to maintain their state and the only people crazy enough to try to change themselves into monsters via blood ritual are power hungry maniacs willing to do anything and everything to keep said power.”
“You,” a pause, the Uchiha patriarch was obviously collecting his thoughts “Ok, say I believe everything you said is true, how exactly would someone do that to themselves and how do I get rid of them.”
“I, regrettably, actually have no idea on the specifics of how one attains that sort of power other than it involves a lot of blood and an intense degree of meditative focus. It’s specific to some very old cultures who both didn’t keep many written records and aren’t willing to share any information they do have. However, I do know how to kill them. And that will be the only way to get rid of it, crazy power-hungry maniacs do not generally stop otherwise.”
“This shit is crazy.” The younger brother murmurs, almost to himself as if it weren’t for the fact he obviously wasn’t trying to be quiet. The older one gives him a glare.
“Continue.” An order.
“But of course,” a bow of the head “fire is usually the first step with these things, which is, as I understand, something of a specialty of yours. Instincts are another part, most people are fully capable of picking out the unnatural from the natural, if they simply listen to their gut instincts. As far as my knowledge goes skinwalkers choose one animal and one only. So, assuming there is only one, you should be able to identify what they are hiding as. And moreover, if your people see an animal that doesn’t look quite right, or just an animal that when looking at them makes all their instincts stand up and tell them to run. They should listen because those instincts are usually right.
“Unfortunately, they do retain the intelligence of a human, so your average hunting traps won’t work, often times their senses are enhanced as well, night vision, hearing, that sort of thing. So, it’s very unlikely you’ll be able to trap it. They are also, usually, incredibly fast, and far stronger than most humans. This one has been able to kill fully trained shinobi, so.”
“So, what your saying is, it’s a person, disguised as an animal, and that anything that kills any normal human or animal, will kill it.”
“More or less, yes. I don’t know how good their ability to heal themselves is but like, cut off their head, maybe burn their body for good measure, you should be good to go.”
“Great, we’re hunting after a murderous, magical dear.” Petulance, from the younger again. Which is fair if a bit annoying.
“Hey, listen, you asked for my advice, I’ve given it, whether or not you take it seriously, is entirely your own decision.”
“Right, of course. Will you be staying the night?” The question is only polite courtesy, I’m not actually welcome to stay the night. Part of me wants to say yes just to be annoying, but being on the bad side of the local shinobi is generally how one gets murdered.
“No, thank you, I’ll be heading out.” We all stand up, the Uchiha clan – compound? Base? Camp? – the Uchiha clan residences are rather impressive in a militaristic, less is more, sort of way.
The layout is obviously very deliberate, neat rows of buildings, straight rows, but still little bits of artistry, not just straight edges, and square buildings.
We reach the gate, and I bow politely, keeping my senses trained on my surroundings and the shinobi to my back as I head into the woods to find a place to sleep for the night. Best not to let myself be followed, polite interaction of not.
Really, they probably would have caught the maniac killing them sooner or later even without my help, whoever they are they were stupid to go after a group of assassin-mercenaries for hire. I keep my sixth sense out for what was probably a skinwalker, though you never know with shinobi. Could be some weird new fucked up technique of one of their enemies, rather than anything that would fall under my purview.
It was rather surprising they would come to me, usually I only get village elders from out of the way towns not even on any map. They must have some rather superstitious people among them, though their leaders clearly weren’t. Neither really believed me, though the elder, Madara I think, was at least listening. Not sure why people turning into animals to better kill would be so unbelievable to a people who can spit fire but so it goes.
Ah, there it is. Still a way off, but distinctly unnatural. A presence, it hasn’t noticed me, and it won’t. I have gotten very good at being unnoticed, unremarkable. Couldn’t say for certain it’s a skinwalker, could be something else, but it’s got more intelligence than say a wendigo or werewolf. Though I despise using that name for it, even if here it lacks the cultural context of being the subject of numerous shitty romance novels and is actually a very real threat that can kill an unsuspecting farmer. Weird, still so weird.
One would think being in the warring states period of Naruto would be bad enough but no, I had to get dropped in someone’s shitty au where fictional monsters are also real on top of the all-encompassing shinobi bullshit.
At least my teenage hyper fixation on horror and monsters was finally doing some good. Even if all that meant was telling farmers to stab werewolves with silver or warning against stepping inside fairy rings. Odds are still up in the air as to whether the fae exist here but there’s an alien sealed in the moon so like it isn’t exactly the craziest thing here.
I spot a decent looking hollow in the roots of a very large tree and judge it good enough for a night’s rest. Only slightly less comfortable than rundown inns and the floors of whatever poor sap has offered a place to stay as payment. I would have insisted that they didn’t need to pay me but that makes people uncomfortable, being indebted, and all that.
Digging through my bag yields the menagerie of edible plants I have, village elders and wise grandmothers are excellent sources of easy to find foods and spices. I had saved up a couple years back to buy two notebooks, one of which is now filled with drawings of specific plants and their uses, edible, medicinal, for spices, that sort of thing. The other is the notes on everything I could remember on the lore and mythology of various spooks. As well as any first or secondhand knowledge I have gained since waking here.
Dinner of some seasoned leaves, a salad fit for royalty, now over. I rolled out my aptly named ‘ground tarp’ then my slightly tattered but very precious blanket. It was soft, animal fur on a cotton backing, or something like that. It had been payment, something I had tried to refuse given it had come from people who were clearly down on their luck, but they insisted. It was probably one of my most prized possessions.
Sleep came fast, but light, as it always had. I don’t think I’ve had a truly restful night of sleep in the last, almost 2 decades I’ve spent here.
And I just had to go and get involved with important story characters, didn’t I. The thought was something, I had been thinking since I got the request, but I couldn’t exactly refuse to come, that would have been equally as stupid. Really the best outcome is that they dismiss me as a quack, and a weirdo, and never think of me again. Lord knows the one group of people I do not need in my life are the Uchiha’s, of all fucked up groups.
Really, I’d blame the crazy on inbreeding if it weren’t for the fact they were all way to pretty to be inbred. Though maybe the chakra means the inbreeding doesn't result in the usual ugliness.
A change in smell wakes me, smoke. It clicks after a moment of bleary confusion.
Guess they took my suggestion of fire pretty seriously. Though I only really said it because I knew it applied to wendigo’s which fall into the same vague category as skinwalkers.
Well, if I’m near enough to whatever inferno they’ve started to smell it I should probably move. Disgusted that my sleep has been interrupted but nonetheless resigned to my fate. I rise –
Only to be immediately bowled over by something slamming into my back with enough force to thoroughly knock the wind out of me. I wheeze on the ground for a moment before doing my best to look around. See what the fuck is going on and if it’s safe to move.
It is very obviously not safe to stand up, at least, judging by the very angry looking shinobi at my back and what looks like a very fucked up wolf-bear-big cat-thing that had clearly been what slammed into me.
I flip from my stomach to my back, keeping my eyes on the skinwalker, judging it to be the greatest threat to my life, if the Uchiha kill me it will be because I am in between them and the thing they are trying to kill.
Slowly so as not to draw too much attention I inch my way back, both parties are locked in some sort of stare down and I am perfectly happy to leave them like that. Though I’m sure they all knew I was there.
Well, I think hysterically, isn’t this just my fucking luck, of all the places in the forest they could have come at all the perfect moments, of course it had to right now. Fucking anime’s man, if I ever figure out what god shoved me here, me and them are going to be having words.
Shink – splat, the wolf – creature lets just go with creature – the creature’s head falls from its body. I stared at it for a second, unfortunately not the first decapitated head I’ve seen. Then look at the form of Madara Uchiha, perfectly silent, despite the fact that he’s the size of an industrial refrigerator.
Shit shit shit he’s looking at me shit.
Madara bows, a part of my mind falls into increasing hysterics, “I thank you for your advice, before. It likely would have been much more difficult to find and get rid of this threat were it not for you. You have thus saved the lives of an unkown number of my people and for that I thank you.”
God, ok, he’s thanking you, murder god Uchiha is thanking you, say something you insane little lunatic.
“No problem, just doing my job…” I stand, doing my best not to look like I was just bowled over by a bear, “Sorry, I was asleep a couple moments ago, not entirely awake. The pleasure is of course mine, though your thanks is appreciated.” There, not entirely terrible, look at you go, putting words in order. Gods but these people talk so old fashioned, I’m fairly certain I’ve offended dozens of people purely because I don’t take a full paragraph to get my point across.
Not the point, focus, literal assassin right in front of you. Several of them in fact.
Madara rights himself, thank God, and nods “Of course, we will be off then.” He signals to his men, one grabs the limp corpse, Madara himself grabs the head, gross. And they leave, just – poof – gone.
A sigh, right, shinobi. All the dramatics of batman, that lot.
Well, I’m certainly not getting back to sleep in this spot, I could feel a rush of water near, though I would likely spend most of the distance there doing more tripping than walking.