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It had been an average day in the city of Townsville. All of the citizens running about, fulfilling their daily tasks and responsibilities. Some people had more than others, but all the work everyone did was appreciated.
However, two residents of Townsville were currently having a difficult time understanding that. Supervillains HIM and Mojo Jojo had just settled down for the night, ready to relax after a long day of work. But then the bickering started.
“I’m absolutely exhausted. What a day!” HIM had said, resting his head on his husband’s chest.
Mojo must’ve been in a bad mood because he replied, “How could sitting on a throne and ordering lesser demons around all day be exhausting? You do not even grasp what it is like to truly work and have obligations to complete.”
HIM immediately sat up and glared at his husband. “Excuse me?! I do so much more than just sit on a throne all day! I cook all the meals so our family has delicious food to eat, I clean the house so the lesser demons can have more vacation days, I take the boys to and from school every day, I fix your shoddy world domination plans, I inspire every villain in Townsville, I rule an entire realm, and I look fabulous doing it all. Don’t even start with me!
You know what you do all day?! You sit around in your observatory playing with your little gadgets while I take care of you and our kids!” The demon concluded angrily, out of breath.
Mojo scoffed. “That is ridiculous, my love. I do as much for our children as you do, and my brilliant inventions are not ‘little gadgets’ as you so rudely and incorrectly insinuated. My creations are awe inspiring, unique, innovative, and astounding! They take hours upon hours of careful and deliberate planning, and require the utmost precision when executing! Cooking a meal three times a day is a most simple endeavor compared to what I do! It is clear that I, Mojo Jojo, am the busiest and most responsible being.”
“Really? Have you ever ruled an entire realm by yourself? Have you ever been to a meeting with the boys’ teacher and made sure you knew every single detail about how they’re doing in school? Have you ever cooked a good quality meal for your entire family even though you’re tired from dealing with bumbling lesser demons? No, you haven’t! I think it’s clear that I’m the busiest and most responsible of the two of us!” HIM snapped back.
“No, you are not!”
“Yes I am!”
“NO YOU AREN’T!”
“YES I AM!”
“NO. YOU. AREN’T.”
“YES. I. AM.”
The two were now giving each other death glares. They hadn’t fought like this since their informal ‘custody battle’ for the boys.
“Fine! Because of your infernal stubbornness, I now have to prove that I am the busiest and most responsible partner in this marriage! I propose that you and I switch roles tomorrow. You will do what I do every day, and I will do what you do. Does that sound reasonable, dear?” The evil genius said that last word mockingly.
“It sounds perfectly reasonable, darling.” HIM harshly replied. “I’m sure I’ll have no problem playing with your little gadgets.”
“And I am sure that I will have no issue sitting on a chair bossing others around all day.” Mojo rolled his eyes.
“Whatever. Goodnight.” HIM turned away from his husband and closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep.
The villainous chimpanzee just scoffed again and turned away from the other as well.
“Honey?”
“What?”
“I still love you.”
“I still love you too.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning, the couple awoke with a newfound determination. They were going to prove each other wrong once and for all. Mojo was awakened by little kisses being peppered on his cheek.
“Good morning honey!“ HIM had a huge smile on his face and looked almost overjoyed.
“I was under the impression you were angry with me.” Mojo said, nonplussed.
“Oh darling. Let bygones be bygones! Once I prove how much more I have to do than you, we’ll kiss, make up, and be back to our normal routine in no time!” The imp giggled.
“Really? Well, once you realize and acknowledge that I am the busiest and most responsible, you will be begging for my forgiveness, as well as my attention.” The primate gave his wife a haughty look.
He jumped out of his skin when his wife laughed, loudly and wickedly. “That will never happen! By the end of the day, you’re going to regret ever challenging me.” He concluded with a low, menacing tone.
“You’d better move along honey. The boys have school soon and they’ll be expecting their breakfast, which I would have done by now.” HIM slid out of bed languidly and went to go get ready for the day.
“Pestilent creature.” Mojo grumbled under his breath. He quickly showered, dressed, and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. He cooked the meal with a smug look on his face, thinking he had this challenge in the bag.
A short while later, HIM strutted into the kitchen with two long scrolls in each claw. “Here you go darling! I made you some lists detailing everything I do in a day.”
Mojo unfurled one of the scrolls and read it quickly. “Ha! If this is everything you do on one day, this will be most simple!” He laughed confidently.
“No no no! That’s just the list of royal duties. The second one has all the domestic work on it.” HIM gave a chesire like grin.
“Again, this will not be a problem.”
“Alright dear, if you say so. Do you have a list for me?”
Mojo pulled out a manila envelope and handed it to his wife. “This envelope has all the plans for the machines and weapons I am currently working on. Be warned, these plans are lengthy, complex, and nearly impossible for a non genius to comprehend.”
HIM gave a cute little laugh. “How hard can it be? All I have to do is follow the directions! I can do that in my sleep!”
“If you say so.”
A few moments later, the Rowdyruff Boys came downstairs to the dining area, fully dressed and backpacks on.
“Morning dad. Morning mom.” They sat down at the table and looked at HIM expectantly.
“Oh my dear boys! We forgot to tell you, your father and I are doing things a little differently today.” HIM informed them.
“Differently? What are you talking about?” Butch questioned, confused. His brothers Boomer and Brick raised their eyebrows.
“Well honey, we’re trying to prove who's the busiest and most responsible so we’re doing each other’s jobs. So your dad will be making all the meals and taking you to and from school today.”
“Um, ok.” The boys blinked. “Is this going to turn into another dumb contest where we fly away at the end?” Boomer silently asked his brothers.
“I don’t think it’s gonna be that simple.” Brick predicted. His brothers nodded in agreement.
“Why do I need to provide the boys with transportation? They can fly!” Mojo questioned incredulously.
“Because darling, that’s how the boys like to spend time with me. Since you’re doing my work, that’s one of your many tasks for the day. Think you can handle it?” HIM raised his eyebrows challengingly.
“Absolutely.” Mojo narrowed his eyes. “Boys, finish your breakfast, you have school in ten minutes.”
Ten minutes later, the boys and Mojo were off to school, using one of his giant fighting robots as transportation. “So my sons, are you ready for school?” He asked casually, as if they weren’t slowly and menacingly heading toward the school in a giant robot.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Sure, whatever.”
“Maybe, I don’t know.”
The rest of the trip was filled with either silence or awkward small talk. When they finally arrived at Pokey Oaks Elementary School, the boys scrambled out of the robot as fast as they could.
They spotted the Powerpuff Girls staring at them and immediately flushed with embarrassment. “Dad, did you have to bring the 50ft robot to drop us off?” Brick groaned.
“Of course I did my son. What did you expect me to use?”
“A normal car like mom does.” Butch said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Let’s just go.” Boomer suggested. The boys said goodbye to their father and walked into school.
Mojo suddenly felt a pang of doubt. What if he underestimated the responsibilities that his wife undertook every day? He brushed it off right away, however. He would prove HIM wrong if it was the last thing he did.
Half an hour later, it was time for HIM to go to the observatory to do Mojo’s job. He grabbed the manila envelope and sauntered to the door. “Bye honey, I’ll see you later! Have fun drowning in those to do lists!”
“Have fun not being able to complete my machines!” The chimp retorted.
HIM immediately appeared in the observatory and began looking around. “This will be so easy! I just have to follow the directions.” He opened the envelope and his jaw dropped. Mojo was right about his plans. There was so much jargon and crap written all over them that HIM didn’t understand.
“Oopsie. Perhaps I got in over my head”. He was doubting himself now. He shook his head. “Absolutely not! I’m going to win.”
He studied the plans as much as he could and began working.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mojo was struggling. He had been trying to complete all these royal duties for hours. The lesser demons were not much help either. They were either very vague about what he needed to do or gave way too much detail and not enough time to process it all.
He had been arguing with the soul of one man for half an hour. The man was apparently angry that he had to spend eternity in the Underworld, but neglected to mention to Mojo that he had sold his soul. He had not upheld his promise in the soul contract so he was taken to the Underworld.
“You must fulfill your end of the deal! You may not just waltz into the Underworld and do whatever you like!”
“That’s ludicrous! I want to speak with His Infernal Majesty!”
“He is not available at the moment. You will have to deal with me.” Mojo sighed. He wanted to bang his head against the wall.
“What?! I don’t want to talk to you! I want to speak with HIM now!”
The villain put his head in his hands and groaned. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take. He then glanced at the clock and noticed it was almost time for the boys to get out of school.
“Curses!” He cried, realizing he hadn’t gotten to any of the housework. Lunch was still not made and the boys would need to be picked up any minute. He ran from the throne room, ignoring the disgruntled soul who was still complaining.
When he reached the kitchen, he ripped open the freezer and grabbed a frozen pizza. He threw it on the counter to heat up when he returned and scrambled to the giant robot to go pick up his sons.
The house was a mess, none of the royal duties were done, and lunch was going to be a mediocre frozen pizza. He wondered if his wife was doing better than he was.
When he arrived at Pokey Oaks Elementary to get the boys, he let them know that lunch wasn’t ready yet and they’d have to wait a while. He pinched the bridge of his nose when he saw his sons’ annoyed expressions. What else could he fuck up?
Back at home, Mojo and the boys had to wait 25 minutes for the damn pizza to cook. Thinking he could use that time to complete some more items on the to do lists, the evil genius left the kitchen to start some of the housework.
However, he must’ve lost track of time because when he came back, the bottom of the pizza was completely burnt. “Curses! Can this unfortunate day become any more unfortunate? Look at this revolting burnt pizza! We will not be eating this rubbish!”
“Dad, we really don’t want to wait until mom gets home to eat. We’ll just have the pizza.” Brick rolled his eyes and grabbed a slice, Butch and Boomer following suit.
They slowly started eating the pizza, looking unsatisfied the entire time. It definitely wasn’t the best, being burnt and all. Mojo was not only at his wits end but ready to throw in the towel.
I hope HIM is faring better than I at this moment. He thought to himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HIM was having the worst time. He had no idea he could fuck something up so royally. The observatory was a mess, papers strewn everywhere, along with empty cups of coffee. Some of the machines were noticeably banged up and smoking slightly. HIM’s hair and makeup were in disarray, and his dress was stained with various chemicals and mixtures and singed from several explosions.
“I can’t do this.” He said aloud. “I mean, look at this place! What have I done?” It was now clear that he had woefully underestimated the amount and difficulty of his husband’s work. HIM just wanted to go home.
He decided to call it a day and leave. He cleaned up the observatory and repaired any damage the best he could with magic. He teleported home, exhausted and ready to admit defeat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When HIM arrived home, he saw his husband and sons at the table, eating lunch. The boys were picking at their slices of pizza on their plates, looking a little grossed out. Mojo looked like he had been run ragged, slouched in his chair with bags under his eyes.
“You are back early my dear. Rough day?” Mojo commented tiredly, noting his wife’s disheveled appearance.
“What gives you that impression?” HIM said sarcastically, stiffly walking to the table and sitting down. Mojo slid a plate with a slice of pizza to him and he took a bite, grimacing.
“Honey, this pizza is burnt.”
“What did you expect from me, my dear? Did you want a gourmet meal, the finest cuisine of Townsville? I tried my best!”
“So was this whole stupid challenge worth it?” Brick interrupted.
His parents blinked at him. “What? You guys were doing so well not fighting and then you argue over stupid stuff!” He continued.
“He’s got a point. You guys both do a lot for us, and even if you don’t see the value in each other’s work, we do.” Butch added.
“So now do you see why all this fighting is so ridiculous?” Boomer finished.
The two parents gaped. “Those were the most articulate, mature statements I have ever heard from you boys!” Mojo beamed with pride.
“Oh boys! I’m so proud of you!” HIM pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed at the tears forming in his eyes.
The three boys looked embarrassed. “Ok, it’s not that big of a deal! Sheesh!” Brick grumbled as HIM placed several kisses on his and his brothers’ foreheads. They groaned again when their father grabbed them and hugged them tightly.
Then Boomer got an idea. Since their parents were in such a great mood now, they could convince them to get McDonald’s so they could have those happy meal toys they saw on TV.
He winked at Butch and Brick and put his plan into action. “Can we have McDonald's since the pizza sucked?” Boomer requested.
“I don’t see why not, what do you think dear?” HIM asked Mojo.
“That is quite alright with me. I do not want to cook anymore today! I am done, finished, completed, which is to say I no longer have any energy to prepare any more food, and would much rather have other people prepare food for me.”
The boys blinked. “Whatever, let’s go!” After a few cleaning spells, HIM and Mojo were good as new and the family left to go eat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That night, after the boys had gone to bed, the couple were in their bedroom, recounting how their days went to each other.
“My love, I owe you an apology. I did not realize just how difficult it is to fulfill all of your obligations. Trying to manage an entire realm and maintain a household is quite the undertaking.” Mojo apologized, feeling a bit ashamed.
“It’s not so easy being me now is it?” HIM smirked. “But in all seriousness, I’m sorry too. I thought you just played with gadgets all day but I was wrong. I had no idea what I was doing, I got things blown up in my face, and I didn’t finish any of it! I didn’t think being an evil genius was so complicated.” He also looked remorseful.
“It is not so simple being Mojo Jojo, correct?” The villain said jokingly, and HIM laughed sweetly. He kissed his husband’s cheek lovingly and snuggled up against him.
“I love you Mojo.” He said, grabbing his left hand and looking at the silver band on his ring finger fondly.
“I love you too HIM.” Mojo’s hand moved to HIM’s neck, where a beautiful diamond choker sat, glittering in the dim candlelight of the room. It was what the demon wore instead of a wedding ring, since he preferred to keep his claws instead of transfiguring them into hands.
He played with it gently, relishing the sound of his wife humming contently. Mojo looked down to see his partner lifting his chin and fluttering his lashes. He knew exactly what HIM wanted. He kissed those gorgeous lips heatedly, watching those catlike eyes slowly close.
As they kissed, the couple thought about how fortunate they were to have each other and how their boys had helped to remind them of that. They may bicker and forget the importance of each other’s contributions sometimes but at the end of the day, HIM and Mojo truly loved and valued each other. And that’s all really mattered anyway.