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to say he didn't know what to expect would be a lie, not unlike many of the ones he'd already told to people he'd come to hold dear; to burden his brother with the feeling of betrayal on an already tragic, grief-filled night and expect a response that was anything less than enraged was foolish, and kaeya alberich is many things, but he is no fool. he could never afford to be.
he tells diluc everything; about his homeland, about his birth father and the mission he's been sent to mondstadt on, about how he ended up finding a home in a place he was supposed to betray and how he can no longer even think of turning on any of the people he's met in mondstadt. although silent, diluc does not appear to believe this last sentiment, and hurt is written all across his face.
the last straw for him seems to be when kaeya removes his eyepatch to reveal an eye that, albeit gold in color as opposed to his always-visible periwinkle one, is perfectly unmarred. he snarls, and if kaeya hadn't grown so skilled at masking his emotions, he would be visibly cowering in this moment.
"is there anything i know about you that is not also a lie?" diluc spits, and there is so much venom in his voice that kaeya can't help but accept the fact that he's probably just lost the last person he could ever consider family.
they are standing in the rain during the whole exchange, and it is almost funny how cliche it all is; a scene of trust being broken set to a heavy downpour, as if the sky weeps for them, weeps because things will never be the same, because they are doomed to break down irreparably.
"luc, please just listen to me, i—"
"draw your blade."
" diluc, if you just—"
"how am i supposed to trust another word that comes out of your mouth?!" the older of the two shouts, and this time kaeya does shrink back into himself a little because he's never heard that anger directed towards him. "draw your blade, kaeya. don't make me say it again."
swallowing, kaeya calls upon his sword, and wills his arm not to tremble as he grips the hilt, preparing himself for the duel that is inevitably about to take place. he whispers an apology, unsure about whether it would mean anything to diluc even if the pyro user could hear it.
it's almost laughable, how more than a decade of building trust and growing close can be destroyed so quickly. how memories of shenanigans in the vineyard and collecting seashells on the beach can be overtaken by ones of crimson eyes filled with anger, confusion, and sadness.
the flaming blade of a claymore meets the more sleek edge of kaeya's mere steel sword, and he is thankful for the rain's consistent diminishing of the fire, the saving grace keeping his weapon from melting into something useless. kaeya may be flexible and quick on his feet but there is no denying his brother's strength; the young knight's arms strain as he blocks diluc's claymore yet again. he cries out as he barely manages to avoid a sweep at his legs when diluc attempts to kick him while their weapons are locked against each other.
—
the moment kaeya receives his vision, he can barely spare a thought to acknowledge it, focused solely on fending for himself in the wake of diluc's anger. all he can do is silently thank celestia for giving him a way to better protect himself.
they continue like this for a while, seeming evenly matched, until:
the younger's foot gets caught on a rock—slippery from the rain—and one swing of that blazing claymore makes searing contact with the dark skin around a golden eye. as much as he might want to, kaeya can't conceal the half-scream-half-sob that rips from his throat at the feeling, falling to his knees and pressing a hand to the affected area, willing the powers of his new gift —that's what a vision should be; but to him it feels more like a curse—to cool the wound and prevent it from scarring his skin any further. the pain is more agonizing than anything he's felt before, terrifyingly intense. sobs continue to spill from his mouth, interrupted occasionally by gasping breaths and pained coughs.
in his agony he does not realize how quickly diluc has run to his side, red eyes wide in horror at his recent actions and lower lip trembling with regret.
"kae— kaeya, are you—gods, kaeya, i'm so sorry, i didn't mean for it to go this far. can you—are you okay?" the older of the two blabbers, voice cracking with shame and guilt.
with the help of the cryo's soothing and slightly healing effect, kaeya's sobs die down into hiccups and small whimpers, and he manages a small nod in response to diluc, who has taken to wrapping his arms around the younger and holding him close to his chest, sputtering rapid apologies. kaeya wishes he could tell diluc that it's okay , that he expected for something of this sort to happen, that he could never hold it against him after keeping such a large, painful secret for so long.
instead he returns the awkwardly positioned embrace to the best of his ability, gripping the arm wrapped around his front and continuing to cry at the dull throb of pain. miraculously, though, most of it had subsided and he could still see out of his usually covered eye, despite things being slightly blurred.
"i'm so sorry, luc," kaeya all but heaves through his tears, and his words tremble in a way they haven't since he was a child.
diluc tightens his hold on kaeya. "i should be apologizing to you , i don't know what came over me, i—i was angry, i still am, but i never wanted to hurt you, kae, not like this. i'm so fucking sorry."
kaeya cannot tell if his brother is crying, too, now, or if those are all just raindrops rolling down his face, but he looks so brokenly regretful that nothing else matters. he turns himself to embrace diluc properly.
"it's okay," he whispers, then: "i deserved it."
"no, you didn't! you… nothing you could've done would make you deserve what i've done to you." diluc's voice breaks then, and now he's outright sobbing, and kaeya is filled with shame because he doesn't know what to do. he hasn't seen diluc cry since they were kids.
"so much has happened today. too much. i was undoubtedly taking out more anger on you than i actually felt towards you, more than you deserved , and now i've made such a grave mistake—"
"diluc." kaeya grips him tighter. "it's okay."
please, just tell me we can still be brothers is an unspoken plea, but it seems diluc cannot hear it. abruptly, he lets go of kaeya and stands, suddenly unable to look the other in his one good eye.
the rain gives way to a night sky illuminated with millions upon millions of stars as they stay there, both unmoving in their positions aside from the shake of their shoulders caused by the tears still falling from their eyes.
—
the next day, kaeya finds a letter on the desk of his office at ordo's headquarters.
to: k.
effective immediately, i am resigning from the knights of favonius and leaving mondstadt for an indefinite amount of time. i believe that time away will give me the space and the opportunities i need to grow so that events as rash as last night's never happen again.
please, don't forget to take care of yourself.
d
near the letter are familiar seashells, and though they are not as lustrous as they once were, kaeya knows immediately where they are from, and tears threaten to pool in his eyes as he stares disbelievingly at the small collection of things. carefully, he rolls the letter back up and ties it neatly with a ribbon, tucking it into a desk drawer along with the seashells.
the future is more uncertain than it has ever been, and he has never felt more lost.