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“What are you doing.”
Tatsumi snaps his gaze up. The morning is cold, evident by the breeze and the breath. HiMERU’s gaze is even colder.
“Good morning. Just taking a rest like you see.” He swings his legs to the side to make room with his hands on his lap.
HiMERU doesn’t sit down. Instead his eyes squint even more and his arms fold maturely into his chest. “HiMERU meant, what are you doing out here.” He eyes the left leg crossed over the other. “As far as HiMERU knows, idol dorms aren’t this far out.”
Tatsumi smiles, the corner of lips automatically tugging into a type of grin he hates the most. “I was merely seeing off Alkaloid to their vehicle. Unlike me, they attend Yumenosaki, but I find joy in walking with them every morning. It is a wonderful morning today, yes?”
Hm, HiMERU lets it settle in for a moment. It’s a bit funny.
That Tatsumi, the one from first year, still hasn’t changed at all. He really doesn’t see it? HiMERU is dubbed stoked. And he’s mad too. Mainly mad. Who were those idiots following, all this time? This grand idiot? Tatsumi cares and he cares and he still constantly cares even now. An idiot, left alone in the end.
Is he like this because of his faith? Because of the past? Does he not realise that he is bound to repeating it, if he continues to be this selfless?
It’s hilarious. It makes HiMERU remember. And it makes HiMERU sick.
“I know what you’re thinking about,” he speaks, “and it’s none of that.”
HiMERU scoffs, eyes stone cold and dead set on him. “And what is HiMERU thinking about?”
Tatsumi breathes. The exhale is long and drawn out to the point where HiMERU can see it. “You have not been watching, but I too, have changed, HiMERU-san.” He rubs his neck meekly. At the gesture, his tone is still set firm. “These people do care. And I am not the one being used anymore.”
He smiles weakly to the ground and silence hangs in the brittle air as the wind dances around them in a quiet wisp. HiMERU had no intention of bringing up their history on a Monday morning, as much as Tatsumi loves to do, all the damn time.
So HiMERU lets the silence answer instead. He’s not really willing to give him the empathy of a kind answer, but he’s not in the mood to say anything unprovoked either.
“And what of your leg.” HiMERU glances at the wrinkled ball of fabric gathering at Tatsumi’s fist.
“Hm?“
“Your leg. You are clearly resting because you have overdone it again.”
He upholds his grin. “But I am fine.”
It only makes him grit. “Do not play HiMERU for a fool.”
Tatsumi’s lips press into thin lines. After a moment, his head decides to drop low in defeat. He still laughs though. “It is nothing out of the ordinary. After a bit of meditation, the pain will surely go away.”
HiMERU feels heavy. Silly, even, that he believed his whole speech for even a second.
But he’s not going to bring it up again. Let Kazehaya Tatsumi bring ruin to himself again. Who is HiMERU to interfere. Why does he even care.
After a heavy matter of thinking, HiMERU lets himself walk, turning around and crouching with a heavy grunt. This is a good thing, HiMERU tells himself. At least this way, Tatsumi won’t be able to see what kind of face is on him right now.
“E-er, what are you doing?” Tatsumi looks down on him with a look of surprise. It gives him the tiniest amount of satisfaction.
“Get on and do not get the wrong idea.” He mutters to the tile. “Idols should have discipline, which means knowing your limits. Don’t try to push them.”
He doesn’t see what kind of face Tatsumi makes. HiMERU imagines grin, wide and beaming or for his eyes to be crinkled shut in joy.
But when he speaks, his voice is so much softer than the two hypotheticals combined and there’s a hint of amusement that makes HiMERU feel the incoming regret already.
“Thank you, HiMERU-san.”
His hands slip onto shoulders and his legs end up locking with HiMERU’s arms. His weight is almost nothing, compared to the weight of his breath on HiMERU’s neck.
…
“Stop breathing so loud.”
Wind blows on the sidewalk and HiMERU has only just grown used to his heartbeat, pounding against his own back with loud thuds. His breath is crawling down his nape. HiMERU has to crane his neck at the lack of response from the other.
Strands of teal fall onto his shoulder as if almost on cue. Tatsumi is asleep.