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Sirius laughs as Bill hands him another note from Harry after the lesson with Snape. He already heard all about it from Harry, but Bill’s still in the dark about the mirror, thankfully.
“Was it bad?” Remus asks as Sirius opens the note.
Dear Pads,
It just occurred to me that Valentine’s Day is so much worse when you have a girlfriend. What am I supposed to do or get her? She keeps hinting that if I buy the right thing, it’ll go perfectly with her plans for the evening – what does that even mean? She hinted about bubbles?
Send help.
Love, your kid, Harry
Sirius snorts. This kid is a mess with dating and it’s hilarious.
“Care to share?” Remus asks, breaking off his focus from Bill who was sharing the way Snape had started to belittle Harry and mock him for letting him get in and see his memories of snogging Cho in various places around the castle. Bill had stepped in, but Snape found ways to mock Harry anyway.
Sirius grins, “Harry’s girlfriend wants to have a sexual relationship with him in what I could only assume is the prefects’ bathroom based on the comment of ‘bubbles’ as a hint if he gets the date right. Send help he says.”
Bill and Remus burst out laughing.
“You sure he’s ready for that?” Remus asks. “I mean, they’ve been dating for months, but he’s kind of behind…”
Sirius shrugs. “To be honest, are we ever really ready for it?”
“No, but – but I think there’s a big difference here,” Remus counters. “You literally just gave him the sex talk.”
“Fair point, but the twins were there, too, and they’ve definitely had sex,” Sirius retorts.
Bill frowns. “I always assumed they knew everything.”
“I think they did,” Sirius states. “Just wanted in on the conversation, maybe to help ease things along for Harry. I mean, Harry was pretty quick to let them in and seemed relieved that they’d make jokes whenever he looked particularly embarrassed.”
“Ah, maybe they were trying to make up for what happened at the start of the holidays – even since they got banned from quidditch,” Bill offers. “I know they haven’t reacted well to Harry’s defense of you over mum and dad.”
Sirius nods. “Most people don’t understand, but Harry’s my kid and I’m his parent – your parents are nice people, they gave him jumpers and food, but it’s just not the same…”
“You don’t have to explain,” Bill offers. “I know – I see the two of you together and it’s obvious. Plus, you’re the one that has constantly supported him.”
Sirius smiles. “Thank you. It’s been hard to deal with people who state otherwise, and I appreciate the help now.”
“Good.”
“So, what are you going to tell him?” Remus questions.
“Er – I don’t know.” Sirius frowns.
He knows that Cho’s been leading the entire relationship, and that Harry’s definitely a bit unsure about things. He could tell Harry that he shouldn’t do it, but his kid might just do it because Sirius tells him not to. He could suggest that Harry’s not ready (because Sirius isn’t sure that he is), but that would just make Harry want to prove that he is ready – even when he isn’t.
“I suppose that I could just advise him on what the bubble comment means,” Sirius shrugs. “Ultimately, it has to be his choice and he wouldn’t be the first person to have a first time he’s not ready for.”
“True,” Bill states. “Still, since it sounds like your first time might not have been something you were ready for – maybe you could…”
Sirius clears his throat. “Nope, can’t do that.”
“Why not? It’s not a big deal – obviously, he’s okay talking about sex with you…”
“Nope – nope. Just trust me. I can’t tell him – it would be … just awful.”
Given that Harry has no idea about Sirius’ relationship with James and the awkwardness of explaining the way they tumbled into bed that first time, Sirius absolutely could not tell Harry about his first time.
Remus is giving him a look, “Was it…?”
“Yes, and that’s exactly why I can’t tell him,” Sirius says, giving him a look. “And given he’s the only one…”
“Damn, you’re always so lucky. The only person you’ve been with is the love of your life,” Remus says, jealously.
Sirius gives him a disgruntled look. “Yeah, I’m so lucky.”
“Oh, right, sorry,” Remus grimaces and goes silent.
Bill’s frowning across from them, “Okay, one of you has to explain.”
Sirius shakes his head, but Remus says, “Just tell him – you know that he won’t judge you.”
“Oh, fine,” Sirius sighs, when he sees Bill nod. “It’s kind of a unique situation. See, Lily and I were as close as James and I were – so, she knew that I fancied him, even though I didn’t tell her, and she saw us a few times while we were hiding our relationship in sixth year. In seventh, when it was clear that James did still fancy Lily, too, I – I told him that he should give it a try when she asked him out. That he had to date her to know that it was me he wanted to be with –”
“How could she do that to you?” Bill asks, appalled. “You said she was your friend.”
Sirius is taken aback; he hadn’t even considered what Lily had been thinking trying to get James to herself if it wasn’t for the fact that she always wanted to share him. She’d only asked knowing that she intended to share the whole time.
“Er – well, she – er – she always planned for what happened,” Sirius states, noting Bill’s frown. “Which is that she knew that I’d give James my blessing to find out and if everything went well that she’d be able to tell us her master plan.”
“Master plan?”
“To share him,” Sirius states, thinking about that moment when Lily pulled them both up into the dorm and said that they needed to talk.
Sirius had been avoiding even looking in either of their directions for two weeks and had immediately told her that there was nothing to talk about.
“Don’t lie to me, Si. We both know that you’ve been heartbroken ever since I asked James out,” Lily states, plainly.
“Not true,” Sirius chokes out. “It’s just – I’ve had a lot going on. Wanted to catch up on homework.”
“Please, I’m not stupid. You’ve been my best friend for ages – I know you. I know that you’re in love with James,” Lily states, crossing her arms as she stands in front of the door.
Sirius coughs. He couldn’t deny it and one glance at James says that he’s still in love with Sirius, too.
“And I know that James is in love with you, and yet, he still went out with me because you’re some sort of self-sacrificing masochist,” Lily states.
“I am not – I just – I couldn’t hold him back. He’s fancied you for ages – and yeah, we’ve … had fun together, but if he’s happier with you – I just I want him to be happy. That’s how this works, right? I love him, a lot, and they say when you love someone – all you want is for them to be happy. I love James,” Sirius states, giving him a loving look, before turning to look at Lily. “And I want him to be happy – and if that’s not with me, if that’s with you… well, he found an amazing girl. He’s got great taste. You’ll take great care of him.”
Lily’s got tears in her eyes, obviously touched. “You’re such a dunce. Didn’t you think that there’s a reason that I’m confronting you right now?”
“Yeah, to warn me that you know about our past and –”
“No because I want to share James,” Lily states.
“What?” Sirius and James ask together. Evidently, Sirius isn’t the only one that is being thrown for a loop here.
“You – you want to share me?” James asks, speaking quickly. “Like I could – have both of you?”
He looks eager at the possibility, and Sirius could admit his own eagerness.
“Well, yeah,” Lily chuckles. “What kind of best friend would I be if I stole your boyfriend away and didn’t consider your feelings on the matter?”
“I – well, I – you knew?” Sirius questions.
“Oh, come on, like all those times you talked him up to me and I’m meant to believe that I shouldn’t have picked up that you were mooning over him,” Lily smiles. “I know you pretty damn well, Si. And I know that this won’t be easy, but I also know that I really fancy James and I love you, platonically. And I know that you love James and love me – differently, obviously. And I – I really think James wants to make a go of it with me, but he’s totally gone on you, so…”
Sirius wipes away his tears. “Yeah – I mean, I’m game.” He looks at James and opens his mouth to ask him what his thoughts are when suddenly James is kissing him.
He missed kissing James over the last two weeks, so he doesn’t hesitate to kiss him back.
After several moments, he hears, “Guess I’ll leave you two alone now – you can have him tonight, but tomorrow, he’s mine.”
He breaks away just long enough to say, “Deal,” before refocusing on his boyfriend. Now, his again.
“Earth to Sirius,” Remus says, waving a hand in front of his face.
“Er – sorry,” Sirius shakes his head. “Anyway, ‘bout two weeks of dating James and she offers to share him with me. Something about how James and I were gone on each other, but James also fancied her – Lily and I were best friends and – and it just made sense. I mean, if I weren’t gay, she’d probably of tried a true threesome, but I am – so sharing was the best she’d get.”
“Why – why doesn’t anyone know?” Bill questions, clearly accepting the different relationship.
“Because I’m a Black or I was … well, I never got to marry him, but I always considered myself a Potter.” He clears his throat. “With being in the Order, Lily as a muggleborn and me as a Black – they were targets because they were my friends. If anyone knew about the situation – I just couldn’t take the chance.”
Sirius shakes his head, looking down at his locket. “Not that It matters – they became the biggest targets in the war anyway.”
He doesn’t have to finish with what happened. Obviously, the war ended in devastation and that’s the end of their story.
“I’m sorry,” Bill states. “I thought it was bad before, now…” He pauses, and gets a confused look on his face, “Harry doesn’t know?”
Sirius shakes his head. “I don’t really know how to tell him, and they aren’t here so, he doesn’t need to know, but yeah, I can’t tell him that the only person – not just our first time – that I had sex with is his father.”
“Fair,” Bill states. “Maybe I could try talking to him. You know, I regret my first time – I was inexperienced, I barely knew her, but I had been interested because I heard all about how great it was – so I rushed into it.”
“I’m sure teenage hormones helped,” Sirius teases.
“Oh, definitely,” Bill jokes. “But yeah, I definitely rushed, and I wish I’d waited somewhat. The second person that I slept with was much better. At least I had a connection and had discovered more about myself to be comfortable.”
“Well, you do see him every week. Maybe you could talk to him?” Sirius offers. Obviously, Sirius’ll try to talk to Harry about gifts, and the special date since it’s also their six-months ‘anniversary’ and Valentine’s Day.
“Of course. You going to write a note back?” Bill asks.
“Of course.”
Dear Kid,
First things first, I might suggest that bubbles means that she likes to get clean, maybe even with you.
Second, you don’t need help. You’re going to be just fine. Plan a date, make her something nice, buy her some candy and flowers, and remember that it’s also been six months on the fourteenth. Just try and be romantic, but also be yourself.
Don’t focus on being the perfect boyfriend or whatever plans that she may or may not have, just do your best and if things happen and you’re ready for those things… then, let things fall where they may.
Love, your Pads.
“There – some basic advice. Hopefully, it helps.”
“I’m sure it will.”
***
Sirius had spoken with Harry extensively about his preparations for his Valentine’s Day and hoped the day would go well for him. Given that he knows of Cho’s after date plans, Sirius figures that Harry will be busy all day and thus, pours himself a drink since he’s alone today.
Sirius hadn’t expected to hear from Harry today, given the holiday, he quite expected that Harry would sneak off and be a normal teenager with his girlfriend, and he’d hear about how it went tomorrow, instead, just after dinner, he hears his mirror going off.
“Hey kid, thought you’d be busy today,” Sirius states, peering into the mirror uncertainly.
“Yeah, well, it must’ve been the worst date in world,” Harry states, looking miserable.
“Why? You and Cho have been getting along splendidly. She liked your Christmas present, and I told you about the romance and stuff… she clearly had a plan…”
“Yeah, well, apparently, Hermione had some bright idea to force me to talk to Rita Skeeter about what happened in the Graveyard. Only she didn’t tell me that. She just told me that it was really important, and I had to meet her at noon at the Three Broomsticks. Wouldn’t take no for answer.”
“Oh, no, Kid,” Sirius groans. “Didn’t she think we would’ve come up with that idea on our own if you were ready to talk about it? And in the middle of your date, too? A very special date that she would obviously know about?”
“Of course she didn’t. Or she did and just didn’t care – she’s not a fan of Cho, so it’s probably the second option. Especially given that she’s not exactly known for caring about all that. She has an idea, and you have to agree, or she’ll badger you about it.” Harry shakes his head, furiously. “Apparently though, that wasn’t the worst part. The Slytherins were determined to cause grief by seeing Cho and I together and bringing up Cedric, who we haven’t exactly talked about in a while, and I thought we were doing okay, and suddenly she wanted to talk about him…”
“And because of what happened and all the stuff with the Azkaban breakout and what not, you’re not exactly anxious to talk about that on a date,” Sirius finishes for him. Maybe Cho isn’t as ready for next steps with Harry as she thinks.
“Exactly. So to distract from that situation, I bring up meeting Hermione and – and I don’t even know what happened. Next thing I know she’s talking about her and Cedric dating and then she mentioned Roger Davies asking her out and we’re at this horrid tea shop and she’s crying and then she just took off all upset.”
“Aw, kid, she was trying to make you jealous because she’s jealous of Hermione,” Sirius states. That much he’s absolutely sure of. Cho has been jealous of Hermione since the beginning of term, as evidence by all of the arguing, and Harry bringing up meeting her in the middle of their special date probably provoked those barely hidden jealous feelings.
“What? Why? She’s just my friend. And we’ve talked about it – I mean, I’ve been with her since September…”
“She’s a girl who’s been by your side for years, and you literally told her that you would cut your date short so you could go see her,” Sirius explains. “A very special date, I might add.”
“It wasn’t like that!”
“I know, believe me – I do. It’s just to her, she doesn’t get it so… that’s where her mind jumped to.”
Harry sighs, “So, what do I do?”
“Get her a present, some flowers and sweets, and write her an apology note explaining what happened. Send it with Hedwig and give her some time to accept it.” Sirius pauses, “Your dad always used to make these glass flowers that would start as a seed and grow into her favorite flower until Saturday when it would start all over again. Since it’s glass, it can’t die – maybe I can tell you how to do that?”
Harry smiles, “That – that would be great.”
“But before I do that – do you want to talk about what’s going on with what Hermione did?” Sirius questions. Given Harry’s reaction to the other kids eavesdropping on Christmas Eve, it would make sense that Harry’s not exactly thrilled about Hermione trying to force him to talk – it’s like she learned nothing from Harry spending days as Snuffles to avoid talking to any of them.
“It was fine.”
“Kid, don’t lie to me. It can’t have been easy to deal with Skeeter, let alone answering all of her probing questions about the most traumatic event in your life. One you barely want to talk to me about let alone anyone else.”
“I don’t know why I bother to try and downplay things to you,” Harry mutters.
“I don’t either – we both know I know you well enough to read between the lines.” Sirius would chuckle, but this isn’t exactly the right time.
Harry sighs. “Fine, it was awful.”
“That’s better. Go on.”
“I was reeling from the Cho thing, and I show up – there’s Hermione with Skeeter and Luna. Apparently, she had decided that the only way that we could get people to understand what happened last year and be on my side was for me to tell Skeeter everything and let her question me about every last detail of what happened.”
“Go on, tell me what everything.”
And he does. Harry explains how he reiterated everything that he’d been through – naming names and giving the excruciating details of everything he’d been through. He’d spent hours being grilled with Skeeter making jokes about how she’s really better off writing an article people want to read – ie, him having some sort of psychotic break from reality due to being in the tournament and wanting to kill for the win and then, reacting badly to being able to follow through.
Hermione had been blackmailing Skeeter with being an Animagus, which caused her to agree to writing the story with the truth and only the truth. It still put Harry in a position to tell everyone everything he’d been through when he didn’t want to talk about it and with zero support. Absolutely no consideration about Harry’s feelings at all. It makes Sirius absolutely furious.
“You know, I don’t even know how I feel about any of it – I don’t feel better. I don’t think I even care if those who haven’t believed in me all this time believe me because I had to relive the worst night of my life – and it is the worst night because it’s replaced the moment of hearing my parents dying for me when I was a baby when I ran into the Dementors this summer.” Harry’s angry – rightfully so.
“I am so sorry, kid. I wish that I could help you – do something, anything, but I can’t.”
“I know – I just … what am I going to do when people react to what I went through? And did Hermione think about how I’m affected by this? Or how Cho might be affected? I – I haven’t even been able to work up the nerve to tell her and now, it’s like I’m saying I don’t care about her feelings on the situation, and she deserves better than that.”
“I agree.”
“I just – I feel devastated that my best friend thought this was an okay situation to put me in. That she thought the greater good of everyone knowing was more important than my feelings on the matter. I already told the DA and my friends more than once that I didn’t want to talk about it, and she goes and does this?” Harry shakes his head. “I thought we were friends, I thought I mattered more to her. It just – it feels like I don’t.”
Sirius aches to be able to reassure Harry and give him a hug. Take him away from everything, but before he could think of something that would help, he and Harry hear a knock on the door. Harry hides the mirror in his bag, but it’s still activated, so Sirius can hear everything.
“Harry?”
“Cho, and Luna, what are you –”
“I brought Cho here,” Luna, obviously, states. “It became very apparent to me that you had no idea what Hermione had planned, and I felt it was very unfair, so I wanted to apologize and give you the opportunity to explain to Cho what happened when I saw how upset she was. I assumed neither of you knew.”
Harry clears his throat. “Thank you, Luna, I had no idea. She just told me it was important and made me promise, which I shouldn’t have done, and if I had known what it was for – I wouldn’t have.”
“What was it for?” Cho asks, icily. Clearly still upset.
Harry takes a deep breath. “Hermione has been keeping Skeeter from writing bad articles about us due to discovering that Skeeter is a beetle Animagus, it’s how she obtains her information illegally by spying on them.”
“Blackmail? Wow, when I thought she couldn’t sink any lower,” Cho scoffs. “Why does that matter?”
“Because after the breakout at Azkaban, Hermione had the bright idea to make Skeeter write everything that happened honestly after the third task – and have Luna’s father publish it in the Quibbler. She reached out to both and then this morning insisted that I meet them (well, her) at noon at the three broomsticks so I could…. Tell my story…”
Harry trails off and there’s silence for several moments.
“You mean, she blindsided you with woman who has ruined your reputation and is the reason no one believes you in the first place to force you to tell the world about one of the worst nights of your life?” Cho demands. Obviously, Harry nods because the next second, Cho yells, “I’m going to kill her!”
Clearly taken aback, “You can’t kill her, but yes, I am angry with her.”
“Not angry enough. She ruined our date and anniversary to force you to relive your trauma to the one person that is the reason you’ve been going through such hell this year. Skeeter started this and – and Hermione – no, no this is not okay.”
What follows is a clearly angry Cho storming out of the room, And Luna offering, “I thought I could set you up with a make-up date and give you the chance to approve the article…” she obviously hands him something, “let me know if you approve. Sorry, again.”
And silence reigns.
Harry clearly shoves the prewritten articles into his bag and pulls the mirror back out. “Er – I don’t know how much you heard, but I – er – I need to intervene. Talk to you later?”
“Of course, later kid, good luck.”
***
Sirius would have loved to have been a student in the Gryffindor common room that evening when Neville, upon hearing what Hermione had done, had given Cho the password into the dorm allowing her to berate Hermione about the situation in front of everyone. Of course, Hermione hadn’t taken it sitting down, meaning that there had been an all-out row smack dab in the middle of the common room.
Harry had arrived fairly quickly afterward, and so had McGonagall when another prefect felt it was their responsibility to do something but didn’t agree with Hermione enough to speak up for her. The row had ended when McGonagall insisted the three of them accompany her to her office.
According to Harry, many students and even McGonagall had been appalled by Hermione’s lack of concern for Harry’s feelings on the matter and ambushing him with the idea despite the fact that many of them wanted to know what happened that night (and felt that Harry should tell everyone what happened, clearly not caring about his feelings, either). Hippocrates.
Although she didn’t condone Cho’s behavior, either, she could understand where they were both coming from. Hermione had wanted to help the greater good, while Cho had been solely focused on her boyfriend. The end of the discussion resulted in detention for both (for causing a scene), and McGonagall reminding Harry that it is his choice to do the article, but there are pros and cons to both options and to truly consider it.
Harry had spent the better part of the next three days debating back and forth (and not speaking to Hermione) before he admitted to Sirius, “I think I should do it, but I don’t want Hermione to feel vindicated.”
Sirius nods, “You’re worried that it will affect the public’s perception and as a result, she’ll feel that she did the right thing – that it is okay to sacrifice your feelings and to do things that greatly affect you without consulting you.”
Harry nods. “But I – so many people have come up to me asking if those rumors were true, that I spoke to a reporter to tell all, and that they’ve all been wondering and that it would help them believe me.”
Sirius frowns, “And what have you said to these nosy gits?”
“Nothing because Cho immediately took points and the twins or Ron and Neville declared that they’re the next target of the twins’ pranks for daring to even approach me about the situation.” Harry states, trying not to laugh. “Seamus has literally asked every day and has been pranked every day. I don’t think that’s helping.”
“It does make you feel a bit better, though, doesn’t it?” Sirius questions with a smile.
Harry nods. “It does, but it also helps me feel like it’s going to help our side. I’d really like to do anything that hurts Voldemort and given that I – you know, I already did the hard part…”
“It’s your choice. I support you, no matter what.”
Harry smiles. “Best Pads in the world.”
“Helps that I have world’s best kid,” Sirius grins.
“I should go, I love you.”
“Love you, too.”