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"Saburou?"
From his haze of listless dismay, having watched his prospects for the next year's joys and respites with friends fade away; the boy turned and answered. This was at least a surprise, a voice he was glad to hear. "Hack?"
The frog-clad one seemed excited, by his standards. About something? He wanted to talk. Like he had, when handing them that club flyer almost, but... more urgent? With something peculiar in his words, and in his eyes. As he walked by his side, Requiem managed to perk up a bit, and listen.
"I need your help with something, if that’s alright, if you’re not like... busy, or anything."
He explained the plan in frantic rushes, on the way over. He hadn’t exactly asked where Saburou was going, just simply followed, and they ended up at his house. As Hack explained his need for help; in gathering everyone they knew & could contact, in their circle of semi-supernatural weirdos, for a going-away party. Something to show his fellow members of Secret Society Yalluminati how much everyone cared, everyone they’d impacted, and helped, over their years together.
Hack spoke quickly, stumbling over his words a few times. Saburou had to cut in, to help untangle them, more than once. And as they walked, when Hack spouted out a name of someone who needed to be there, Saburou would write it down in his phone. By the time they reached Requiem’s house, the list was nearly complete.
"...I think that’s everyone? if I think of more I can tell you, I guess, but for now... yeah. think that’s it." The frog-clad friend said, halfway to himself, as Saburou held open the door to his room for him. Then closed it gracefully behind them.
As Hack slowed down, and gradually began to collect himself, he looked around and saw the flyer he’d drawn. The one he’d handed to Saburou, sitting on their desk. In the moment of quiet, he picked it up.
"so, did you... think about if you wanted to join, or not?"
Saburou kicked the desk chair over, turning it to face the room, and leaned back in it. With his hands behind his head and eyes closed, he smiled. "Heh. Well, I suppose with the YBT dissolved, ‘tisn’t like I have anything else, going on for the next semester. And, if we’re partners in planning their little sendoff... may as well be partners in more, no?"
Hack blinked for a moment, parsing all that. The acceptance, and the news about their erstwhile enemies. "wait what, YBT’s breaking up too??" He stopped himself from adding that’s, like, your only friends, that sucks.
Saburou looked away overdramatically. "....Yes. Tyra-san decided, now that Kirin is no longer tied down, by your society.. that she has no need, of pawns to plot your downfall." Requiem leaned one elbow against the desk, flipping his hair as he leaned against it. "...Plus, she too, is graduating. And Shabo is going with her."
"what about your stuff, the uh... dark sacrifice, or whatever you hated us for?"
Saburou glanced over, and smiled. "I don’t think you’re with them. Certainly not anymore. You may be fallen from grace, just as I, but... at heart, you are still an angel, Hack."
Hack sat for a minute, immersed in the absolute Atmosphere that was Saburou’s room, thinking about that. What he should be deeply aware, by now, he would be in for with this guy as his partner.
Partner. That was a sorta weird way to phrase it, but Hack adopted it in his head, without thinking. Hm.
There had almost been a light, something electric, about Hack’s behavior so far. Requiem had seen him excited before, and truly enjoyed when Hack had this fervor for the things he was doing. It always made them smile, at least in their heart. But... The emphasis on showing his friends his care & admiration. It was certainly admirable, and frankly a little adorable if Saburou had to pin a word to it.
But... outside a crisis, he at least had not known Hack to be so... emotionally expressive. And while again he admired it, it was... suspicious. Hack could be in some kind of crisis, and simply concealing it. And... Even the chance this could be so, filled Saburou with dread. Enough that he had to speak.
"Uh... Hack, I... Has something happened? You seem... as if a man possessed, or as if gripped by excitement's claws. Uh, compared to.. how I’m used to seeing you, I suppose."
"uhhhh" Hack went pale and froze, for a minute. Just as Requiem had feared, something had happened. Thank goodness they had asked, that they might save Hack from whatever it was.
"n-no, nothing, I just... I’m gonna miss the lads, is all. why? does... something seem weird? am I acting weird?" Yeah he was enthusiastic, but... no more than normal, right? Had what happened last night really... effected him that much, that Saburou of all people could read it just from how he was talking?
Thou’rt excellent at many things, Hack. But lying, without notice; it is not your strength. They spoke earnestly, with conviction "Whatever your hesitancy, I sympathize. But... Your struggles are mine, if you would share them. As your... clubmate. And friend."
Really getting to call Hack that, sent a bolt of joy through his heart, beneath the cloud of worry and anticipation. He’d hesitated, not wanting to push his luck, but was everlastingly glad he had. And Hack, to that at least, had not protested.
"n-no, it’s fine really. I’m fine." Hack muttered what normally would’ve been a thought if he were thinking clearly. "you might think I’m-"
He looked around the room. At the assemblage of ritual objects, grimoires. Game memorabilia, that the man seated diagonal to him insisted had their fictional powers. He looked at them, up and down, again. Nervously hesitated, averting his eyes again.
"maybe you won’t think I’m crazy..."
They leaned forward, better to listen. To whatever in hell's armies could have Hack thinking this way. "Speak, and I shall believe. Every word. ...I trust you."
Hack glanced up at them, after they said this. The sincerity of those words, was... comforting, even from someone who believed so many lies. Or, what he'd gotten used to calling lies, at least.
"I... saw someone, last night. with the fireworks. they helped me like... remember, someone I knew a long time ago. who... she sorta did some bad things, but I cared about her a lot. and the last time I saw her, I think she..." He wished he could pull his feet up onto the bed, his legs closer to his body, but in the rush to come in he’d forgotten to take his shoes off.
"I couldn’t remember her, for so long, I guess it was amnesia or something, but then... I did, and then she just.. showed up. Like... I’m explaining this badly, sorry, but she just.. when I last saw her I didn’t know if she... I didn’t know if she was alive! y’know? and then I remember, and I see a light, and... she was really there, standing in front of me, then. she wasn’t like an illusion, like a ghost or something, but she was... really there. she really showed up. it was like... like......"
"Like an angel..." Requiem didn’t mean to interrupt, but he couldn’t help but whisper the revelation.
Hack looked up at him and sniffled, with a slight smile. "y-yeah. I guess that is sorta. a way, to put it. kinda." He looked back away. "but I.. I got to talk to her, again. I guess. and say some stuff, that I really wish I'd said back then... it was.. good.
but it's... now? I can't even tell if it was even real now, or like, a hallucination? a dream? something my brain made up, so I wouldn't feel like shit forever about her. or, maybe it was an angel, fuck it, who knows! but... like, I know. I think. it.. had to be real, whatever it was. I can’t think of it as anything else, it had to be real. r-right?"
Hack was... nervous. Shaking, a little. Requiem could see tears on the corners of his cheeks, that were visible from his side. Just small traces of them, the ones that couldn’t be held back.
A million things he could say. His beliefs in manifest spirits, of afterlife, and the imperfection of its grip. A thousand cosmos he could espouse, to give his.. friend, who he loved in his deepest heart, solace in his newly-found truth. A truth that beloved had confessed, to him. The one person he knew would assure him so. The one person, who might give the dearly wanted evidence, proof; that his truth was sound, that he was sound, for calling it true.
Hack had no way to know this, of course. But the only person he knew, whose truth this was too.
Requiem was the only one who could help him believe in it. The only one who’d understand, and could help him understand; just as, years ago, they had learned to understand. The only one to keep him from falling deeper, into the depths of confusion he stood at the edge of. Put a solid ground of reason beneath him. Tell him that which he needed to hear.
Requiem stood up, and moved to his bed, and sat beside Hack. Carefully, caringly, they wrapped their arms around Hack’s shoulders, and hugged him.
Hack grabbed them around the waist, and pulled Requiem, Dirge for the Dead, closer.
Your tears on my chest, that are blessed for their flow.
Your sobs, are blessed for their sound.
Your pain now is blessed like nails and spears,
that shed blood in the name of salvation.
We can talk more later.
When you are ready for it.
Now you are here, and I am here,
and here we're both okay.
After uncounted minutes, Hack moved away, and Saburou’s arms parted to let him. He scooted away, on the bed, just a step. Though part of him regretted it, once the side that had been against the occultist’s hip felt the cold air. He wasn't far, at least; there was still someone close
They sat apart, like that, for a minute. Requiem still watching him, to gauge how he felt. Then Hack, in a sudden flurry of motion, started emptying his pockets; unzipping and pulling off the frog hoodie he had always worn. The one beside him backed away further; both to leave him space, and to flee the embarrassment felt once he saw Hack’s bare shoulders and chest revealed. Saburou almost yelped aloud.
But Hack faced them, and held out the hoodie towards them, in one hand. "Saburou, I... I want you to have this."
They peeked though their fingers, covering their face, to look. Only glimpsing at Hack, shirtless and very much with him on his bed, incidentally. "w-Why?"
"it was... hers. Natsu’s. her name was Natsu. I don't know if I said, yet." Saburou, eyes locked on the garment to avoid impropriety looking elsewhere, reached out and took the sweater in both hands.
"Natsu..." he intoned, with the reverence that name deserved. Gazing at his hands, at the raiment that was once hers, and then Hack’s. And... now his.
"when she... left, she left it for me. I always wore it, to remember her. even after I... forgot who I was supposed to remember." He sighed, and leaned forward. "but... I remember her now. so I don’t exactly need it any more, and... I don’t know. you’re the only one I’ve told any of this stuff about her, you’re the only one who knows, and..."
Really, Hack didn’t know why he’d decided to do this. Why he wanted to give them, of all people, this final physical memento of Natsu, the girl he... loved. Who he’d finally told, that he loved, even if so late.
"I..."
Hack turned his head, and before they could look away, he caught Requiem’s eyes. They looked at each other, and a soft smile curled Hack’s lips.
"I... trust you to take good care of it."
Saburou blushed, and smiled back, eyes darting away reflexively, but always returning. "Hack... Thank you. I shall guard it... with all my will, and all my power. Always."
"thanks..."
Saburou stood, and put on the hoodie gently; at least once, he’d wear it, even if it fit him poorly. His arms swam in the sleeves, like a robe whose cuffs extended in a decorative fringe. When he raised the hood, it covered his eyes. Which was useful, since Hack was still quite unclothed, and on his bed, as he stood beside. Wearing a garment that was still warm, from Hack having just taken it off. Though the occasion was somber, Saburou's heart could not help but be merry.
Hack watched him wearing it, trying to pull up the cuffs to fit his arms, and laughed. "hehehe, you don’t have to wear it, it’d... probably be better you didn’t, anyways? it’s... kinda getting worn out, anyways."
"Heh, indeed. But its wear shows the care of the wearer." They let one sleeve take their hand into it, and felt the felted lining inside. It was still soft, after all this time, and all the hardships it had seen.
Hack looked down, and finally remembered, he hadn’t been wearing anything below it. He quickly covered himself with his arms. "actually uh... I might need it, for like. a little bit longer. to go get a... something else to wear. if uh, that’s alright.."
Flipping the hood back down, while facing away, Saburou did remember something that could solve this dilemma. "Uh, wait. Wait a moment, actually." Saburou went over to his wardrobe, digging to the back of it, and procuring a large, dark grey hoodie. "I uh, Try it. I think it should be about your size. Especially as this fits me so."
"uh... thaaanks?" Hack took it, and started pulling it over his head. It was a little bit loose, but perfectly fit otherwise. Just how he liked it. But that alone, made it feel a little.. weird? "why do you... have a hoodie, in my size, in your closet?"
Saburou looked at him like a confused puppy for a minute, before the oddity of it clicked. "Oh! Ah, it was for- I bought it for a sleepover, of sorts. Stakeout. YBT business. Thus, I needed pajamas. It should be clean. Shall it work?"
Not that he hadn't thought that it might fit Hack, when he'd bought it. The precise factor of the oversizing, maybe, was aimed to match Hack's. Just in case. Too vague of a thought, for Saburou to be blamed; yet apparently, a very useful one.
"why didn’t you just wear, like, whatever you normally sleep in?" Hack asked, breezing by and accepting Saburou’s strange bullshit, as he stuffed his wallet & keys into the pockets.
"Normally, I sleep without a shirt at all." Saburou said, as he removed the froggy-themed raiment, and folded it with all due reverence to the souls it represents. Again completely unaware, of how odd the things he said & did so casually could really be, that they'd stick in Hack's head for easily the next few weeks. Like the rest of this entire, strange conversation was doomed to.
Hack stood up, as Requiem placed the folded package on his desk. Beside the invite, to join Hack’s club, now happily accepted.
They smiled at the objects, together, as they stood in the dim tinted light of the room.
"Well then, Hack-senpai, shall we get to work?"
Hack mouthed something, to himself, with only a small breath behind it. Another thing to think about for the next few weeks. Maybe the next few days. Or, even, few hours.
It felt nice to say. He had to tell his friends the same, too. And that needed to get done first. But this time, he'd say it. Before it was too late.
"yeah. let's go show my friends I love them."
Hack smiled, and went with his clubmate out of the room.