Work Text:
Once upon a time, in some place where everyone was dying, there lived a goofy-looking dude named Gabe.
Gabe was no ordinary goofy-looking dude, he had the power to create and control inferior goofy-looking dudes.
Like all goofy-looking dudes, he was a goofy person, so he decided to use this insanely op power to slaughter all of humanity in the most gruesome and triggering way possible.
One day Gabe was observing the horrid chaos he had created. It always helped him start the day, you know. However, his peaceful reverie was interrupted by some scrawny teenage girl with dyed pink hair and cat ears squealed in his left ear. He turned around and beheld the most terrifying monster he had ever seen, something that he presumed was only a legend; a fairytale to attempt to halt his reign of terror.
It was…
A fangirl.
The creature jumped up and down, squealing and blushing, blood pouring from her nose.
Gabe stared in disgust at the creature as it wallowed on the floor giggling and hugging herself. Finally she snapped out of it, loudly reprimanding herself for being so embarrassing in front of her crush.
She stood up straight, wiped the blood from her nose, and began her poetic confession of her love for Gabe.
He was utterly terrified, unable to move. He took a step back, the simp took a step forward. Then he got up and ran.
“It followed me home, (y/n).”
“It has been days, and nobody has come to help me.”
“OH-OH-OHEMGEEEEEGA-A-ABE! I’VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU|YOU|YOU- I MADE A FANFIC- I WROTE YOU A SOOONG!”
Moral of the Story: Pink hair = instant red flag