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It wasn’t exactly Honami’s idea to have Shiho come along on her shopping trip after school. In fact, she didn’t think Shiho would be interested in trivial matters such as looking for clothes or browsing around a boutique. All she’d really done was casually mention to her band that she was planning on going to the mall district when classes ended, and surprisingly enough, Shiho was the first to volunteer to come along.
“You… you’re going to come with me?”
Shiho gave her a look, one that was a bit confused and maybe even hurt. “Is there a problem with that?”
Honami inhaled sharply upon realizing the initial rudeness in her tone. “No, no—! Not at all.”
The peculiarity in the situation wasn’t the fact that Shiho was going in general, but the fact that she’d volunteered herself this time. The bassist hardly ever went with Honami unless the majority of the band happened to be coming along. When Ichika and Saki had declined politely, saying that they had to deal with things in the Sekai, the last thing Honami would have expected was Shiho to offer her company.
Despite her initial reaction, there wasn’t anything wrong with Shiho’s presence; additional company wasn’t too bad, actually. (Sometimes Kanade would accompany her, and Emu was always rather enthusiastic about dragging Honami to buy candy after school on occasion.) The two girls had taken a bus from school to the district and Shiho seemed unbothered by Honami’s head on her shoulder, or their knees touching occasionally. They were friends, after all. They’d been friends for years, and frankly, Honami was starting to believe that Shiho was actually a fan of physical affection.
Why is it so different, though? The girl can’t help but find herself (over)thinking, and chews on her bottom lip. What makes Shiho-chan coming along with me any different than Yoisaki-san, or Emu-chan?
She doesn’t realize that her thoughts had started to wander until Shiho taps her shoulder, now standing in front of her. “Hey, you there? Honami.”
“Shiho-chan!” Thrown off by the words, she jumps back and fumbles to readjust her purse strap, clearing her throat. How embarrassing. “Ah— yes?”
“You’ve been staring at that store’s window for a while.” Shiho raises her eyebrow and tilts her head. “If you want to go inside, we can.” Her hair was getting longer, just barely going past her shoulders; she always had nice hair, but recently, she’d been expressing an interest in growing out a wolfcut or a mullet. Right now, the layers were cut somewhat artistically, fitting her in a mature sense, but still embracing the masculine look Shiho’s always shot for. It suits her well.
“If you don’t mind!” Honami smiles, her eyes momentarily flicking to a summery dress through the window. Summer break was coming up, and the Tenmas had a particular interest in holding elaborate parties with both Saki and Tsukasa’s friends. She didn’t know if Shiho found these sorts of things subjectively ‘interesting’ or not, but maybe she’d be able to find something she liked, too.
The bassist answers with a simple jerk of the head, and delicately takes Honami’s wrist in her fingers to pull her along to the store. Honami feels something — a feeling, maybe, or the subconscious pounding of her heart — in her chest shift.
When they do step inside the establishment, however, the pounding in her chest disappears, replaced by a heat on her cheeks as she sheepishly averts her eyes to the side. Normally this — the store, everything about the store — wouldn’t be a problem if Honami were by herself. Somehow, everything changes once Shiho makes her presence known beside her.
It’s a dress store. Not just any dress store, but a dress store focusing on formal dresses, complete with lace and ribbons and pearls and everything that Shiho very clearly did not enjoy. (Don’t tell her, but Honami had heard it in passing. Upon being asked about taste in dresses, the bassist had only visibly winced and looked away.)
She swallows down her nerves and gives her another smile. “We can go into a different store, if you’d like—”
Shiho cuts her off pretty easily, shaking her head. “You seem like you want to look around. Y’know that you don’t have to try and look for things that I like too, right?” Her hold on Honami’s wrist loosens, fingers trailing downward until they’re completely intertwined. A familiar feeling, but one that Honami hasn’t felt in a long while. “I came here with you because I wanted to.”
“Oh,” Honami says. That’s really all there is to say, what with Shiho having rendered her speechless.
They stare at each other until Shiho’s lips turn upwards in a small smile. “Are you going to…?” Her voice trails off, eyes looking at the large variety of dresses surrounding them.
“ Oh! Right, I’ll just…” Hand in hand, she starts to drift in one direction with Shiho following silently behind her.
It feels odd. Not odd in an unwelcome sense, but odd in a way that breaks goosebumps onto Honami’s skin. Even though she’s gone shopping with other people before, having Shiho here had to be some sort of enabler to a bigger purpose. All of it —Shiho reassuring her that she’ll be there while Honami looks around, Shiho initiating their current handhold — felt domestic.
As if she were my girlfriend, Honami thinks, then feels her face burn up and busies herself with browsing a rack of skirts.
Shiho is quiet for the few moments that Honami is going through the skirts and examining them, her eyes concentrated on something just in the vicinity. Curiously, Honami looks up and taps her shoulder to get her attention. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just,” Shiho starts, and reaches out into a different line of skirts to pull out a blue one, with white ribbon near the waist and white lace layered underneath. It’s pretty. Honami can’t imagine a skirt so beautiful being worn by someone like her. “I think this one would suit you, maybe.”
A beat passes in the conversation, and Honami lets out a small laugh. “Oh. Blue’s not my color.”
“Why?” Shiho raises an eyebrow, hanger still swinging from her fingers, calloused fingertips from playing the bass and all. She’s different like this, with her decorated bag strap over her shoulder and her head tilted to the side almost cutely— a drastic change from the Shiho that’s been playing the bass since she could learn how to.
“A while ago, I wore something to a party and one of my classmates told me that it doesn’t look good on me. That’s all.” Trivial matters, really. Honami knows full well that she could’ve just ignored them, but she’s already had enough conflicts with her classmates to speak against it. At the time, it didn’t mean much to her.
Based on the way that Shiho’s eyes had suddenly narrowed, perhaps it should mean something more.
“Is that why you’ve avoided the blue skirts on the rack?” the other asks, her eyes flitting back to where Honami’s hands are split between a black and a red skirt, and— oh, how long has there been a blue denim skirt in the middle? Shiho was right. She’d been skipping over the blue choices subconsciously. “Honami. You look great in the color blue, you know that, right?”
Her chest tightens as she tries to get the words out, “I just…”
“I know that you won’t believe me, Honami. But it’s true.” Hesitantly, Shiho looks down at the skirt in her hands and then carefully holds the hanger out. “I really do think that this skirt would look amazing on you,” she adds with a firm nod. Honami looks at the stubborn look on Shiho’s face — one of her many charms — and back at the hanger. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to fight Shiho on a matter such as this one, because the seed of doubt had been planted in Shiho’s head and wouldn’t be uprooted any time soon.
Their fingers brush when Honami takes the hanger into her hand.
It’s a pretty thing, really, it’s even prettier knowing that it’d been picked out by another with Honami in mind. “I’ll try it on later,” she whispers to no one in particular, but Shiho pleasantly hums and everything seems to be alright. “Well, let’s go look at the other sections of the store, then…”
Honami makes a point to start walking away, but Shiho reaches out and tugs the end of her sleeve, “Is it— it’s fine if we hold hands, right?”
“Oh,” Honami breathes, feeling her heart skip a beat in her pounding chest. “Oh, of course it is, Shiho-chan. We’ve been friends for longer than I’ve known.”
At her word, Shiho smiles a little and links their fingers; her palm is warm and weighs against Honami’s, a familiarity that Honami can’t help but embrace. She squeezes their hands and then they’re off.
There are a few bathing suits Honami looks at, some with ribbons and some with stripes and others with more eccentric designs that she’d imagine Saki would wear. She and Shiho pick out some knee socks for Ichika and leg warmers for Saki; Honami expresses interest in buying Shiho a new blouse, but Shiho rejects it almost instantly.
“It’s okay. I don’t want you to spend that much money on me,” she insists, shaking her head. Her bangs swing and frame her face almost perfectly. Truthfully, Honami has always been jealous of Shiho’s hair, for the way that it always seems to look perfect— whether it was styled or feathery and natural, under a beanie or adorned with cute clips.
Honami sighs in disappointment, but reluctantly puts the blouse away. She’ll keep it at the back of her head for Shiho’s birthday when it rolls around, alongside a bass guitar strap that she wanted to crochet.
Only when they reach the back of the store does she find a dress that takes the air out of her lungs, practically calling out to her. A bow sits prettily near the waist, the skirt itself layered with ruffles and an elegant design of flowers and ribbon, the top half being rather modest with its design. A dress that Honami can imagine wearing in the springtime, surrounded by the trees in bloom and the smell of sweet flowers.
She lets out a sigh that Shiho happens to hear. “Oh, that’s a nice dress.”
“It is! I’ll come back and buy it next time we’re here. I hope it’s still here when I return,” Honami responds wistfully. She turns away, but feels the pull of Shiho’s hand again and looks back; Shiho is still staring at the dress, standing in front of it. “Shiho-chan?”
Shiho looks at her with a bewildered expression, “Why don’t you just try it on now?”
“Ah, that’s…” Her voice trails off. Honami trains her gaze down to the floor. “I’m afraid that it’ll ruin my image of the dress if I see myself in it. It’s just a personal issue of mine, that’s all, sorry.”
The silence is rather deafening, even alongside the fact that they were the only two people in the dresses section of the store. Honami glances up again and sees Shiho studying her with an unmistakable look in her eyes: the same look that she had whenever she was trying to piece things together in her mind, like a sheet of new music or a problem that she’s trying to solve. In fact, it’s a bit embarrassing. Honami feels the need to change the subject when her cheeks burn up.
“I think that,” Shiho starts, bashfully tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Honami can tell that her words are careful, like treading on cracking ice. “You should try it anyway. You shouldn’t have to apologize for living, you know? And—” She clears her throat, shoving her hands in her pockets. “I’d be willing to try it on, too, if it makes you feel better.”
Honami blinks, trying to sort out the mess of thoughts in her mind. Shiho, who despised wearing clothes like frilly dresses, was offering to wear the dress if it made Honami more comfortable. She did really want to wear the dress, but was afraid of being repulsed by her mirror’s reflection. And then comes Shiho.
Her mind sets itself right, and she smiles.
“It’s okay.” Honami reaches up to take the hanger with the dress on it, and nods determinedly. “You don’t have to wear it too, Shiho-chan. I’ll be fine trying it on myself.”
“Are you sure?” The bassist doesn’t look entirely convinced, and her brows furrow. It’s sweet to see Shiho so worried. “It’s not a bother to me if you want me to.”
With an air of hesitation, Honami reaches and squeezes Shiho’s hand gently. “Really, it’s alright! Just stay out here and wait for me to get dressed,” she says, and scurries into the dressing rooms before her face warms up too much.
The feeling is something she thinks about while she’s getting ready. Has she felt this way for her close friend for a while, and left it to be something unacknowledged until now? It would make sense, given the context of… well, other situations where Honami’s cheeks have gone pink around Shiho. Just as the rest of Leo/need means absolutely anything and everything to Honami, Shiho means the same.
She pulls on the waistline of the dress, observing the way the layers bounce in the mirror. I wouldn’t be bothered, having a crush on Shiho-chan, Honami thinks, and— ah. It really was worth it trying on the dress. It looks much better than she’d expected.
Honami pulls her hair out of her ponytail, gives herself one last lookover in the mirror, and steps back into the boutique where Shiho is waiting.
Shiho’s sitting in a chair, browsing through one of her social media apps when Honami steps outside. Honami’s movements are quiet, almost tentative as she takes a step forward and gives her friend a little twirl. “How does it look?” she asks, crossing one leg over the other in an attempt to hide her shaking limbs. “I didn’t really think it’d be this lovely, but I’m pleased with it, though I’d like to hear your opinion too, Shih—”
Honami gets cut off when Shiho immediately says, “You’re pretty.”
“Ah?” It wasn’t as if she didn’t believe one of her closest friends, but out of surprise; Shiho had said it so quickly, naturally if she were to be truthful, for it to be ingrained in her thoughts.
Shiho flits her gaze to the ground for fear of embarrassment. “There’s nothing else to it.” Her words are calculated and slow, as if she were testing out the waters herself. Honami is far out in the sea, watching her break the coastline. “You look like a dream.”
Behind her fragile chest, Honami’s heart skips to the rhythm of rocks across the surface of water.
“You think I’m pretty, Shiho-chan,” she echoes, her words coming out in delicate breaths.
The other hums with an air of nonchalance, shoving her hands in her pockets. “Why wouldn’t I?” she says, and for a brief moment in time, Honami believes that Shiho has felt this way for longer than she’s assumed.
♪
“Would you like a receipt with that?”
Ultimately, Honami had decided to buy the dress after all, alongside the skirt that Shiho had picked out for her. It’s a nice skirt, one that Shiho was sure about from the moment she laid eyes on it. In terms of the dress, she was worried that the other girl would decline buying it at all— those words they’d shared were terrifying, it’d be a lie to say that they weren’t. Thankfully, in the end, it leads up to the cashier carefully bagging the garments and Shiho patiently waiting.
“Um,” she mumbles, glancing over to where Honami was walking towards the cafe next door. She’d asked Shiho to do her a favor and retrieve the bags after paying, while she set off to buy them both a taiyaki parfait. “I think she’d want one, just in case.”
Her thoughts process to the sound of the receipt printer. Shiho didn’t exactly know why she’d asked to go with Honami in the first place, yet now it seems as if it all made sense. For a while, her own feelings had been tied into a knot, like the one at the base of her shoelaces.
The cashier slips the receipt into the bag and laughs, clearing their throat. Shiho hadn’t realized that she’d been staring and jumped to take the bag into her hands with a hurried apology. “It’s very sweet of you to carry her bags. You two are a nice couple,” the cashier says.
Couple. Well, from an outsider standpoint, Shiho could see how it’d be interpreted that way; she’s known Honami longer than she’s known her own dreams. Did she really mind the title at all?
Her eyes find their way back onto Honami— the drummer is now speaking to the barista with a smile on her face. Her hair is still down, sweeping across her back. It’s been a while since Shiho has seen her with her hair styled in such a way, and finds herself speechless at the sight of it. Honami was kind, skilled with her instrument, passionate, and sweet. A whole list of words that suit her come to Shiho’s mind in an instant, so suddenly that everything fits into place.
“Yeah,” Shiho agrees, feeling more certain of this than anything in her life. “Yeah, she’s amazing, isn’t she?”
