Chapter Text
It’s a lovely day really but you can’t enjoy it as much because you just went through one of the worst dates on the planet. First, he was late, then he got your name wrong every single time disregarding how many times you corrected him. After the meal, he claimed he forgot his wallet and you had to pay for all the food he ate. Then he had the audacity to try to get it on with you. It ended with his cheek stinging hard from your slap and him calling you names as you left his sorry ass on the sidewalk. He wasn’t even your type at all, and you aren’t thinking of his crappy attitude when you say this. You like men on the heavier side that can talk more than video games and gym routines, but your friends always go for the 6-pack idiots to match you up with.
Something blinds you momentarily and when you turn your head you see an amulet gleaming playfully from a display window. You approach and study it. A golden circular pendant surrounded by images of the Chinese zodiac animals printed on a jade-like platform. It looks good, you have to admit.
“Come in,” a voice drifts from next to you and you jump startled.
You turn and stare at the old lady that tries to smile brightly at you but makes it look creepy.
“Oh, sorry. I was just looking. I’m pretty sure I don’t have that kind of money.”
“Nonsense! Come in, come in!” she grabs your arm and pulls you inside with astonishing strength “This is the item that interested you!” she takes from the display case the amulet and presents it to you with a flourish.
“Ah… yes…” you utter as she pushes it into your hands.
You inhale sharply when it feels like a current goes through you when you touch it. Your eyes go over the masterfully crafted animals and you shake your head when you think for a moment that the figures move.
“All my customers are satisfied with the products they buy!”
“Um… ok…how much is it?”
“50 dollars.”
Your eyelashes flutter in shock “Are you sure you didn’t forget a zero or two?”
“Nope! 50 dollars for you, dearie.”
You narrow your eyes at her in suspicion “Is this stolen? Is that the reason it’s so cheap?”
She huffs in annoyance “Pfff, no. The amulet chose you.”
“It… chose… me,” you repeat slowly, and you are certain that she is crazy.
You quickly look around the shop and see only carved wood figures and the amulet in your hand is the only thing of value among the wooden bears displayed.
“Yes! It chose you. It helps one find their true love!”
Your eyes zero on her and your eyebrows slowly climb your forehead “My true love? We aren’t in a fairytale. Next, you will tell me that I’ll turn in a pumpkin at midnight.”
She rolls her eyes “50 bucks,” she holds out her hand and you sigh in defeat, giving her the money “Pleasure doing business with you! Now off you go!” she practically pushes you out of the store and slams the door behind you.
You look at the wooden frame and take a step back to look at the sign above the door. You can’t stop the chuckle from escaping you when you read ‘Witch's Cottage’. You turn and start walking down the sidewalk and when you see a jewelry shop you go inside.
“Excuse me. Can you please tell me how much this is worth? I think I was tricked into buying it.”
“Of course,” the kind older gentleman says and starts studying it.
You know something is amiss when his eyes widen, and his mouth drops open after a few minutes.
“Miss, this is pure gold with jade stones. It’s worth at least 10.000 dollars.”
You gulp and feel faint “Oh… thank you. Have a nice day,” you rush out of the shop and go back to where you bought it.
You slam into the door, and it doesn’t open. You look inside through the window and your eyes become as big as saucers when the shop is completely empty, full of dust and cobwebs. You look above the door, and the sign is gone and a ‘For rent’ is displayed.
You go home in a daze since you can’t explain what the Hell happened today. You enter your apartment and walk to the table that overlooks the city. You stare at the pendant in complete incredulity. You take a deep breath and put the amulet on the table as you turn to gaze at the full moon outside. The whole day was crazy, and you can’t make heads or tails of it.
You frown when the table vibrates and think there’s an earthquake but when you turn you see the moon’s rays making the jade figures shine and the pendant dance on the table.
“What the Hell?” a blast of white light engulfs the room, and you cover your eyes.
“You can open your eyes,” a deep baritone and British accented voice says next to you.
Your eyelids snap open and when you whip your head to the side you stare at not one, not two, but 12 men in your apartment. You jump out of the chair, your eyes darting from one male to the other. They look remarkably alike, only a few features distinguish them from one another.
“Who the Hell are you and how did you enter my home?!” you shout, reaching for your phone to call the police.
The bearded male that spoke chuckles and with a wave of his cane, makes your phone fly from your palm to his big hand.
“You own the Zodiac amulet. We are here so you can choose one of us,” he says calmly, leaning against his cane and gazing at you with a dimpled smile.
“Choose one of you? For what? Killing me?”
Chuckles erupt from the men gathered and two step forward “Both of us…” he points a finger at himself and a blue suit-clad man “…are detectives. You are safe with us.”
“A-ha…” you mumble not believing a word that escapes his cherry-red lips.
“Allow us to introduce ourselves,” the cane-wielding man utters and stands straight “I’m Maxim Horvath, a sorcerer. I am the Dragon.”
The man that said he is from the police department steps forward “Chandler Manning, as I said, I am a detective. I am the Horse.”
The other one nods his head “Ricardo Morales, also a detective. I am the Tiger,” he says in a Spanish accent.
Another man stands up from one of the armchairs. He is the most different among them. With a longish nose, a monocle on his face, and an umbrella held tightly in his hand “I am Oswald Cobblepot, I am a former criminal and now a legitimate businessman. I am the Rat.”
You start to see a pattern. Each man declares himself as one of the symbols of the Chinese zodiac sign.
An older version of the men steps forward, and you wonder if he is related to Santa Claus “I am James Bussey, I am retired but I used to work in a library. I am the Sheep.”
Another elder gentleman smiles kindly at you “I am Harold Lindsay-Jones, I work for the Foreign Office. I am the Ox.”
You take note that his accent sounds British, just like Horvath’s but the sorcerer’s tone seems deeper and more mysterious.
You hear a crash and turn to see an auburn-haired version putting back on the table your Alexa “Sorry! I’m Dr. Otto Octavius, I’m a scientist. I am the Rabbit.”
The one dressed in a lab coat rolls his eyes behind his glasses “Please refrain from injuring yourself. I don’t have my kit with me,” his pecan eyes lock to yours and he nods “I am Dr. Harding Hooten, I am a doctor, neurosurgeon to be precise. I am the Snake,” he intones in a posh accent.
A heavier set version with silver sprinkled in his dark hair comes forward “I am Robert Aldrich. I am a director and producer. I am the Rooster.”
Well, you don’t know what crazy dream you are having but you must admit that your selection isn’t bad. PhDs, detectives, businessmen, producers, quite the crowd. You still eye the one with the cane because you refuse to believe that your mind came up with a sorcerer. Only 3 left and all seem younger than the other ones.
One comes forward and you move back when he tries to take your hand “Oh, come on, ma chérie. I just wanted to kiss your hand,” he pouts, and you note he has a French accent.
“Stop your absurd antics, Denis. She is still trying to process everything,” Hooten cuts in while with a wave of his cane, Horvath makes the man slide back a few paces.
“Fine, fine. I am Denis Brabant. I am an actor. I am the Monkey.”
Another bearded male comes timidly in front of you “I am Konstantin Dmitrich Levin. You can call me Kostya. I am a landowner, and I am the Dog,” he utters shyly in a Russian accent.
The last one walks a few steps toward you, and you notice that he is light on his feet “I am Boris Plots. I used to be an undertaker but now I am a ballroom dancer. I am the Boar,” he says with what you think is a Welsh tone.
“O…k… I would say ‘nice to meet you’, but I have no idea what’s happening here!” you intone exasperated.
Again, the one with the cane speaks and you guess he’s the ringleader “The amulet you possess is magical. It helps an individual find true love. You have until the next full moon to choose one of us that will be your partner in life.”
“Suuure, magic. Next, you will tell me that Mickey Mouse is real.”
Chuckles erupt around the room and the sorcerer looks blankly at you “Ha-ha. Then how do you explain the presence of 12 men that look almost identical to one another? You have a clear type, sweetheart.”
Your treacherous heart flutters at the endearment “Ok. Let’s say I believe you. Can’t I choose one of you now and be done with it?”
All shake their heads “You have to know us at a bare minimum before you decide,” Boris says softly.
“And how am I to do that?”
The breaded man taps his cane against his lips in thought “How about this, you go with each of us on a date.”
“Uh-huh. Not that I don’t agree with that idea, but mind telling me where you lot will stay until the full moon happens? As you see my apartment is big but not that big.”
Espresso eyes twinkle mischievously as they gaze at you, and he hits his cane to the floor. Two strong hands grip each of your arms as both Horvath and Harding steady you as your apartment seems to grow and expand until it looks like a mansion with enough rooms for all, a big dining table, and a living room that has enough sofas and armchairs to accommodate every man and yourself.
“Magic is real…” you utter incredulously.
“My dear girl, you have no idea,” the doctor utters, and you can’t believe what you got yourself into.