Chapter Text
Bruce sighed as left the batcave. Alfred had insisted he stayed home for Thanksgiving, yet he went out anyways. After removing the cowl and gloves, he went up to the kitchen where Alfred had promised the food would be when he returned. Bruce didn't waste time changing all the way out of the batsuit, he'd had a long night and wanted to eat.
Bruce froze when he rounded the corner to his kitchen. There was a figure sitting at the table, all the lights off. It wasn't Alfred. His mind went into action and started thinking. He'd been quiet, hopefully he could get the jump on the mysterious figure.
Just as Bruce was going to spring into action, the man stood up, seemingly unaware of Bruce's presence. Unaware until Bruce turned the light on.
"Oh! Batsy!" The Joker jumped, to say the least. "You scared me, don't do that!"
"Joker. What are you doing here?" Bruce asked, feeling exposed without the cowl, even though The Joker already knew his identity.
"Well, I figured I'd come here and not cause trouble today. Shocker! Right?" The Joker grinned, taking his plate and scooping up mashed potatoes. "That way you'd come back faster. But, then I got bored and started eating the food Jeeves left for you."
Bruce's hand curled into a fist. He wanted to punch the clown, but he'd been in a rather harmless and silly mood all week. Bruce didn't want to be the one to snap him back into a killing spree.
"The foods always so good," Bruce realized The Joker was still talking. "that's my favorite part."
"Who cooks food for you every year?" Bruce asked, unable to stop himself.
"I mostly just go around and take other peoples." The Joker shrugged and sat back down.
Bruce walked over and snatched the plate away, setting it elsewhere. The Joker looked up and pouted.
"I was eating that!"
"Leave."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want you here!" Bruce argued, getting ready to drag the clown out of his house. "How did you get in here anyway?"
"I climbed in from over there." The Joker pointed to the open window.
Bruce lifted the clown up by his shirt and dragged him to where he was pointing.
"Out."
"I'm not a dog!" The Joker argued indignantly. "I already hurt myself getting up here, I don't feel like jumping out a window!"
Bruce released his shirt. He took in what the clown was wearing. There was snow on the ground and he was in a dress shirt and dress pants.
"Since when do you care about self preservation?" Bruce argued back.
"I have feelings, you know."
"Doesn't mean you acknowledge them."
"Well I do." The Joker pouted, seemingly unbothered by the fact that Bruce was about to shove him out the window.
"Stop stalling, either climb out or I'll throw you out." Bruce growled, growing impatient.
The Joker grinned, leaned in closer to Bruce's face and reached for his hands.
"You won't throw me, because I might die, and you love me!" The clown teased.
"We're on the first floor, you won't die." Bruce remarked, shoving him out the window.
The clown landed on his back with a thud.
"You didn't deny it!" The clown giggled madly.
Bruce locked the window.