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As I watch the blood drip from my hand, darkening as it hits the cool grey stones, I look up. My father is staring at me, relief evident on his face. I couldn’t make him lose both his children. My mother is smiling too, but for some reason it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. They call the next name, breaking me out of my trance and leading me to walk over to the other Abnegation Initiates. One by one, the final students get called and go to their factions, their new families. Faction over Blood, most of the transfers will never see their family again. As me and Susan (the only other one that stayed in Abnegation) begin to walk towards the stairs the Dauntless burst past us and again I question my decision. I could have been free, I would finally have been good enough. I look again at my mother, at her humble posture and bowed head. No, Caleb left them. I will be better, more selfless than him. I will stay for my parents even if I lose myself.
Three months have passed since the choosing ceremony, which means that it is time to bring out the mirror. My mother, selfless as always, offered to help but I asked to do it myself. I stand in front of the mirror longer than necessary, hair that falls long down my back and grey dress covering all the way up my neck proving that I have become an Abnegation woman. Today I will head out into the factionless sector to bring them food and other necessities, and remembering these duties I slide the door shut. I breathe deeply and put my hair into a bun, my fingers completing it on their own with the familiar movements. Grabbing my wagon I shut and lock my front door, although I don’t know why as I have nothing to steal. If they were willing to steal, they probably needed it more than I did anyways.
I am about halfway through the supplies in my wagon when a man approaches quietly. His head is bowed, a square set jaw that looks especially defiant when paired with his full dark lips. His muscles strain against the shirt that he wears, Erudite blue combined with tight black Dauntless pants, making him seem like a man that's been fighting or running all his life. I realise I’ve let my eyes wander and hurriedly look up to meet his. “How can I help you?” I stutter a little when his dark blue eyes meet my own light-grey.
“Well some food would be nice.” He gestures towards my wagon and I hurriedly serve him a meal of chicken, green beans, and rice. Humble fare but standard for the Abnegation. When I hand him the plate his hand jostles mine slightly, but he quickly stabilises the plate. His fingers feel warm against my own, and his deep voice rumbles inside my chest. “Maybe some conversation could help too.” Looking around I see that all the factionless nearby have been fed, so I follow him over to a bench that hasn’t yet crumbled under the elements. What am I doing, don’t I fear the factionless? Mom always said they were just lost people, still deserving of kindness, but my heart would still jump up to my throat whenever we would pass by the people in their multicoloured clothes. My heart is bouncing around my stomach now, but for a different reason. I do not fear this man, instead I feel drawn to him in a way I can’t place. His face speaks of a history I cannot know, and his hands twitch against his thighs. It’s almost as if he is reaching for something he knows he should not grab, hands hovering above a flame then pulling away before they can burn.
“I haven’t seen you here before,” the man’s comment pulls me out of my reverie and a heat climbs up my neck as I realise I was staring again. His lips pull up a little, but he doesn’t smirk. This I see as a measure of good morals, and I wonder what Faction he was born in. It can’t have been Dauntless, who flirt recklessly, or Candour, who constantly display casual affection because it is their “truth.” Amity so rarely develops Factionless, only kicking out people who become too violent, and this man doesn’t seem to be cruel. I think that also disqualifies Erudite, though Caleb was never cruel.
Remembering his question I smile gently, “I only had my choosing ceremony three months ago, and had not yet served in this sector. How long have you been here?” Turning the questions back towards him, talking only briefly about myself. This is the Abnegation way of conversation, always caring first for others. It was hard for me when I was younger, but I think it is coming to me in time.
The man does not look surprised at my question, and takes his time with the piece of chicken he placed on his tongue. “I first joined the factionless two years ago. Why did you choose Abnegation?” He looks at me, eyes focused and with genuine interest visible on his face. Definitely an Abnegation born. I wonder why I don’t recognise him, he can’t be more than two years older than me.
“I couldn’t leave behind my family, why did you join the factionless?” The question slips out, one that my mother would have said is selfish curiosity. Before I can take it back and apologise for my rudeness he answers.
“The Dauntless Initiation asked for more than I was willing to give.” Silence rings over us for several minutes. After finishing his plate of food, he turns to me and I realise I do not even know his name yet. “Thank you for your generosity miss, I hope to see you again.”
“Wait!” I see him moving to stand up and cannot help but call out. “Would it be too selfish of me to ask your name? Mine is Beatrice.” He turns back to me with that same quirked lip smile.
“Matthew Prior’s daughter? We once knew each other.” My eyebrows raise at this statement, but I stay silent in the hope that he will explain. “My name is Tobias.” With that the mysterious man, Marcus Eaton’s son, Tobias walks away.