Chapter Text
TW: indicated self harm
The train to Hogwarts was quiet. It always had been for Regulus. He'd always get on the train as soon as it arrived. That's at least an hour before people usually get on. Then Regulus walked down the aisle and found his usual compartment and sat down.
His suitcase was light. Regulus never brought much to school. Hogwarts always had enough already. He was only taking his essentials with him, and things they didn't want his mother or Father to find out about.
Regulus sat down beside the compartment window. It was raining and very cloudy outside. Regulus opened his bag and pulled out his earphones and a book of his. He flicked to the page he stopped at and began reading.
--
Two voices began yelling from the other side of the train.
Great, of course they choose to be early, Regulus was just getting to the middle of his book and now that these two have come on the train there no way he'll be able to concentrate, now that those two aren't going to shut up. Regulus closed his book and sighed as he watched the two boys walk into their carriage. Potter and Sirius, obviously. Regulus got up to close the curtains. He doesn't need to be tormented by his brother any longer.
Two missed calls from: Maman
(indicated self harm in this paragraph)
Great, now regulus has to call her. Can't he get just one moment of peace? Regulus' finger hovers over the call button. What if he didn't? Just this once, he didn't call her back. What would she do then? There's nothing she could do that she hasn't already. The scars on his wrists prove it, don't they? They prove what he's been through. Narcissa says that they show how he's gone through it all and survived it.
And Regulus is okay now, he hasn't done it in a while. He doesn't need to call her.
But what if he doesn't and she gets upset. She could do something. She could do a lot. He's already on thin ice. He must call her, just to be safe. Just this once. Regulus unlocks his phone and calls his mother.
"######?"
"Oui Maman?"
"Why didn't you call me back sooner?"
"Je suis désolé, Maman, I didn't have my phone."
"Not an excuse, that is not good enough ######."
Regulus' heart sank. "Qui, Maman, I'll do better next time."
"Good, I'll call you soon, Mon amour. Remember to take your meds, Oui? We do not need another situation, especially now that you are back at Hogwarts."
"Oui Maman."
"Bein, I will see you at Christmas?"
"Oui, see you soon Maman."
"Au revoir."
"I love yo-" the line disconnected. Regulus took his phone away from his ear and turned it off. His mothers words replaying in his mind over, over, over.
that is not good enough Regulus, that is not good enough Regulus, that is not good enough Regulus, that is not good enough Regulus,
not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good enough, not good-
Regulus slowly closed his eyes, and put his earphones in, turning his music on.
--
Regulus woke up to Barty and Pandora sitting opposite him. "Look whose finally awake." Pandora whispered.
"Hi Pandora." Regulus replied. "Why didn't you wake me up?"
"You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to disturb you from your sleep. Merlin knows we all need sleep." She was right. The sleepless nights they'd all tend to experience, purebloods families don't often care about their children's wellbeing, or just aren't around enough to notice.
Barty was sleeping. He had a black eye and a small bruise on his cheek. Pandora gave Regulus a sad smile. They all knew Barty was abused by his dad. Whenever Barty's dad was around all he'd do was take out all of his anger on him. Barty's mother died in Azkaban when Barty was 15. Barty's home life has been nothing but cruel since.
"How are you, Regulus?" Pandora asked.
"I'm alright, how are you Dora?" He replied.
She smiled at him. "I'm doing alright thank you."
"Where are Evan and Dorcas?" Regulus asked.
"Oh, Evan is in a head boy meeting and Dorcas is hanging out with Emmeline Vance and Emma Vanity," Pandora paused for a moment. I think the three are discussing quidditch."
"Oh yeah, Emma is still captain, oui?" Regulus asked her.
"Mhm, and Emmeline has been changed from beater to chaser. Emma said she has a much better chance in winning against Potter now that Zabini has graduated."
Regulus nodded. "How long do we have until we get to Hogwarts?"
"About ten minutes." She replied. "Oh, I got you a cauldron cake." She said, throwing it to him. Regulus caught it and nodded to her.
Regulus's phone vibrated.
Message from: Evvvvy
Regulus opened the message and saw Evan sent him a photo of the meeting. Regulus rolled his eyes.
Regulus: pay attention you idiot.
Evvvvy: calm down
Regulus: stfu
Evvvvy: no bitch 🖕🖕
Regulus:🙄😒
Regulus put his phone down. Pandora was trying to wake Barty up.
"Barty?" She said. "Wake up."
Barty mumbled something. but Pandora continued to try and wake him up. "Really Rosey?" He whispered.
"I'm sorry, but we are about to arrive at the castle." She whispered back.
"M'kay, I'll get up." He said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
Pandora stood up and put her phone in her pocket. "Classes tomorrow, what do you two have?" she asked.
"I've got charms first tomorrow, Evan is the same." Regulus replied. "What about you two?" he asked.
"Me and Barty both have Defense against the dark arts." Pandora said. Barty groaned. "What's wrong with you now?"
"We have the same classes as Snape all day tomorrow." He said.
Pandora rolled her eyes. "Stop being such a Baby." She said. The train stopped and Regulus stood up.
"Shall we go?" he asked. The two nodded and Barty opened the compartment door.
"I'm going to go find Rosy" Barty said, walking down the carriage. "Meet you at the sorting?" He called out.
"Okay Bart, be on time though." Pandora called back.
Barty saluted to her and continued down the corridor.
"Oh, Regulus," She went rummaging through her bag and pulled out headphones.
Regulus took them and smiled. "Thank you Pandora."
Pandora smiled. "Lets go to the feast now, yeah?" She whispered, grabbing his hand.
Regulus nodded and the two left the train.
__
After the feast Regulus found himself sitting down in the common room, alone. But they were fine being alone. It was much more peaceful when he was alone. There was only about thirty minutes until curfew so he'd have to go in sooner or later. Regulus' phone buzzed.
Message from: Evvvvy
Regulus unlocked his phone and opened his messages app. He saw three messages from Evan
Evvvvy: oi mate
Evvvvy: few mins till curfew
Evvvvy: you coming in?
Regulus replied with a thumbs up and turned his phone back off. He still has to put his stuff back in his bag anyways. Regulus turned off his headphones and put them in his bag. He only had a few things to pick up so it didn't take him long. He was down to the last thing when he heard people begin to whisper.
"Have you heard? ######'s a boy now."
"Really? Thats a shame."
"Yeah, chopped her hair off and everything."
"Wow, the Blacks really are falling apart huh?"
"Seems like it" The two voices began to fade.
Everybody's slowly finding out, aren't they? Why cant people just leave him be? Why do people need to give their worthless opinion on something that doesn't concern them. Its nothing to do with other people at all. Regulus just wants to live his life in peace. But they cant even do that.
How great.
--
Regulus got up and went into his dorm after a while.
"Look whose finally showed up." Evan said. Barty smiled at Regulus. Regulus just ignored them both and sat on his bed. "Reg? You alright mate?" Regulus just shut his eyes and stayed quiet.
Evan and Barty shared a look and Evan stood up.
Evan walked over to Regulus and crouched at the side of his bed. Regulus' eyes were still shut. Evan grabbed Regulus' headphones and put them on Regulus.
"Me and Barty will be quiet, okay?" Evan whispered. "Love you Reg, get some rest." Evan stood up and went back to Barty. The two began whispering and stopped talking after a while. It was quiet now, there was no noise at all. It was peaceful. Regulus lay down on his bed and stared at the top. Regulus had charmed it to have moving stars on the top of it. He slowly closed his eyes again, the screaming that had been circling his mind began to quieten.