Work Text:
“A guinea pig?”
Dean turns a dubious look towards his roommate, who stares back with puppy eyes in his stupid bee sweater. He must be the only human in the world able to pull off that horribly garish yellow.
“Yes. I had one when I was a child, and I have dreamed of having another one ever since.”
The hopeful grin on Castiel’s lips is enough to tear down all of Dean’s protest. They’ve been roommates for only two months, but already Cas knows how to play Dean like a fiddle. It’s his stupid innocent cute puppy full-of-rainbows face. For a dude, he’s pretty damn adorable, and Dean always finds himself yielding to all of his demands.
“Fine,” he sighs. “Let’s go get you a guinea pig then.”
Castiel beams, and Dean can’t help but smile a little bit too.
Of course, Cas wants to go to a rescue. No way he’s going to the corner pet store like a normal person. And of course Dean has to drive him, because the rescue is out of town. All of that just so Cas can get some old second-hand guinea pig to fulfil his hero complex. Rescuing a dog, Dean can understand, since they can live like ten years, but a guinea pig?
“Don’t guinea pigs live like, 2 years?” he asks as they pull into the highway.
Cas is looking outside the window. He hasn’t stopped smiling for a week, and spent all of his slim free time (which means nights) building a gigantic cage that takes up most of the spare room he uses as an office/art studio. He also bought a bunch of guinea pig stuff to put in it, like the best quality pellets, the best hay - that has already started spreading all over the apartment – and has been watching youtube videos of guinea pigs until the wee hours of morning.
“They can live up to 7 or 8 years old.”
“You mean we’re gonna to be stuck with this thing for the next 8 years of our lives?”
Cas turns away from the window and tilts his head, squinting at him thoughtfully. Dean returns his eyes on the road, feeling a ridiculous blush creeping on his cheeks. He just basically said out loud that he planned to live with Cas for the next 8 years, which is pretty much the closest he ever came to asking someone to marry him.
Dean Winchester is not exactly the kind of dude who thinks about the future, and most of his roommates have only stayed around for a few months before he, or them, moved on. But Dean realizes that he’s actually hoping Cas will hang around for longer than that, annoying and smelly rodents included. He grumbles and tightens his hands on the wheel, ignoring Cas’ smirk.
“Oh,” Cas says as they’re about to step into the building. “Maybe I should have mentioned, we’re not only getting one guinea pig. We need to take two.”
“Excuse me?” Dean grabs Cas’ sleeve to turn him around.
“They can’t live alone or they get depressed. We have to take at least two.”
Dean can’t believe his ears.
“Do you know how much those things poop? How much they eat?” he exclaims. (He has some knowledge of that himself, as he once babysat a kid who had one. That thing was a freaking poop machine, and it smelled all over the house.) “Cas, you can barely afford clothes!”
Castiel crosses his arms over the distorted kitten pattern of his home knit sweater.
“I can’t live without guinea pigs. And I told you, you won’t have to do anything. But if you refuse, I will have to find somewhere else to live.”
Dean sighs and shake his head. He should probably kick the dude out, especially since he’s late on rent every other month, but as he looks over at Cas, ridiculously adorable with his determined face and his grumpy cat shirt, he realizes that once again, he’s been rendered powerless. He never thought anyone could ever have this kind of toll over him, apart from half naked chicks requesting another drink.
“Fine. Guinea pigs it is, then.”
Dean wrinkles his nose as they step into the tiny, overcrowded room that the rescue has elected as the rodents corner. There’s cages everywhere, and the minute the volunteer who guides them walks in, a thousand little squeals echo from all around. Dean doesn’t think he’s ever seen Cas quite as happy and excited as he is right now, going from one cage to another and greeting every animal through the little bars.
“So, what are you guys looking for exactly?” the amiable woman asks. “We got males, females, groups, all races and colours.”
Dean shrugs and looks at Cas, who is already crouched on the floor, petting one with his finger through the cage. His sweater is a bit too short and Dean can see all of his lower back, including the dimples just above the hint of an ass. He clears his throat.
“There’s just so much choice,” Cas finally says when he gets back up. His cheeks are cherry red and his eyes are sparkling.
Dean leaves them to talk (Cas has a lot of questions, he wants the best for their situation) and walks towards a retired cage. A eye is glistening from deep inside a little wooden house.
“Is that a guinea pig too?”
The woman walks up to him, and sighs as she crouches down.
“Yeah. That’s Benny. We’re having some problems with him.”
“What kind of problems?” Cas asks. He kneels next to Dean, their thighs and shoulders brushing.
Dean puts a finger through the cage. He’s strangely fascinated by the dark eye that is glaring back at him.
“We can’t pair him with any companion. He’s extremely aggressive.”
Suddenly the eye disappears from sight, and a white nose peaks out. A guinea pig slowly slides out of hiding; his messy, colourful hair sticking in every direction. Dean can’t define the exact shade of his fur. It’s a mix of grey, white, black, brown, and red. From afar it mostly looks dirty, but with a closer look he reminds Dean very much of what himself looks like in the mirror when he just got out of bed.
“He almost never comes out of his shed,” the woman says, impressed.
“Is he aggressive towards humans?” Cas questions.
“No, I mean, he doesn’t really like being touched, but he just needs someone to spend some time with him alone. We’ve had him for almost a year, no one wants him cause he’s got a bad eye and he looks dirty.”
Dean leans on his side to look at it better. If one of the guinea pig’s eye is big, wide, deep dark and lively, his other one looks completely dead. It’s like an old, scratched marble that has lost its transparency and clarity. There’s even a scar going through it.
“What happened to him?”
“We don’t really know. We found him on the street, which is pretty rare. From the look of him, he must’ve been out there for days.”
“Who would do such a thing?” Cas’ voice breaks.
He slips his finger between the bar next to Dean’s. The pig stops, hesitant, then turns his good eye towards them. Finally, after a long exchange of gaze, he seems to decide that they do not pose an immediate threat. He leans closer, one little step at a time, until his nose delicately brushes on the tip of their fingers. It tickles. Cas is beaming with adoration.
“What d’you think?”
Cas turns towards Dean, dreamy blue eyes like pools under the sun. He nods and nudges Dean’s finger.
“You can only take him,” the woman says as she leans inside the cage (Benny ran back into his hut the moment they got up). “He’s bitten every pig we’ve tried introducing to him, and pretty badly. He hisses and rattles his teeth at them through the bars if they get too close. Does any of you stay at home during the day?”
“I’m a freelance artist,” Cas explains. “I work at home.”
“Good. Try to spend as much time as possible in the same room as him.” She puts the squirming and squealing pig into the transportation box. “He’s a fiery one,” she laughs. “But I think you guys'll like him. I’m glad he’s finally found a home. Plus, he’ll be a good baby practice.”
She winks at the both of them. Dean’s cheeks colour.
“We’re not – we don’t-“ he stutters.
“We are not a couple,” Cas clarifies in a much calmer voice. “We’re just roommates.”
“Right.”
But the look she gives Dean as Cas is terminating the transaction indicates that she clearly thinks otherwise.
Benny spends his first few weeks hidden in one of the many houses in his cage, while Cas sits at his desk and draws all day long. Dean can hear him talking to the guinea pig (“I want him to get used to my voice”) and sometimes he just sits on the floor next to the cage and gives him bits of the vegetables Dean brings him with his meals twice a day (if Dean doesn't feed him, Cas engulfs nothing but PB&Js and take out hamburgers). Then they both watch Benny chew from the depth of his caverns, and Dean really wonders why Cas is so damn fascinated by that thing.
Cas promised that Dean wouldn’t have to take care of Benny, that he wouldn’t even know he was there, but of course that’s not how it works. Sometimes Cas is forced to go out, either to a reading, a social gathering, or to do some errands, and then it falls on Dean to hang out with the pig.
“He needs as much human contact as possible.” Cas patiently explained when Dean complained about it. “Since he cannot have a companion of his own specie, he needs to understand that we are not a threat, and that he is not alone.”
And if Dean was reluctant at first, he has to admit that the little guy isn’t the worst to hang out with. He can bring his laptop and sit at the chair or on the floor and do his own things, while Benny does the same, like in a mutual agreement. Sometimes, from the corner of his eyes, Dean sees him dare out, hair dressed on top of his head, sliding towards the food bowl, the hay, or the water bottle, but the moment Dean moves to look at him Benny has rushed back to safety.
Dean finds out that it’s pretty damn hilarious to give the guinea pig a big chunk of vegetable, - either a whole carrot, a salad heart or a pepper - and to watch Benny sneak up to it, stick his big teeth in it and quickly drag it back to his shed. Dean’s favourite moment is when the vegetable inevitably gets stuck in the door, and he hears Benny’s surprised and disappointed squeak. It’s always followed by a few seconds of silent humiliation, as the guinea pig must realize he wasn’t sneaky at all, followed by a short battle to fit the oversized food through the frame. Finally Benny gives up, and starts chewing the food on his front porch, and Dean can’t help but laugh wholeheartedly.
Laughter seems to be one of the scariest thing for a guinea pig. One of the most memorable moments was when Dean snorted as he was watching AFV on Netflix. Immediately he saw Benny startle and rush backwards, until he hit the wall with his butt, jumped, squealed, and violently snapped at it with his teeth. He even squirted pee at the wall before running at full vim back into his house, towels all rumpled on the floor and smelly liquid dripping down the walls of the cage.
Dean laughed until he couldn’t breathe, and then at dinner when Cas explained him what had happened, he barked even louder. Apparently Benny, since mostly blind, couldn't see what he had hit with his ass, and in his panic thought it had to be an enemy. Dean cries into his pork chops as Cas explains that he was trying to intimidate the wall, and the poor traumatized guinea pig stays hidden for the rest of the evening.
After that, Dean notices that every time time Cas laughs while in his office, it’s immediately followed by a rattle of claws and the thud of a guinea pig bullet through a tiny door. Inevitably Cas laughs even harder, and Dean doesn’t understand how Benny can be afraid of such a beautiful sound.
Of course, having a pet, even if it’s just one tiny ball of fur like Benny, has a lot of repercussion. If the cage hasn’t been cleaned and the towels washed in two or three days, the house starts to smell; the cost of groceries jumps with all the vegetables and fruits Cas insists on buying (“It’s not because he’s a guinea pig that he doesn’t deserve good and diverse food, Dean, and he’s had a tough enough life. I want him to be as cosseted and happy as possible with us”) not to mention the occasional expense of the hay, the pellets, and the doggy pads to put at the bottom of the cage to absorb the impressive amount of urine and feces this little excrement factory produces on a daily basis.
And Cas, as a freelance artist, doesn’t exactly have a stable income, which means that Dean, whether it’s accepting rent two weeks late or paying for the groceries, quickly starts to see the effect it has on his wallet. But he’s also never seen Cas so happy, so cheerful, so passionate about anything, except maybe his art. Once Benny is used to them and not as shy, Cas begins to take him out of his cage almost every day. He even purchased a few water-resistant pads to put on his lap to hold him (after Dean, swearing profusely, had to wash his clothes and the sofa cushions because Benny peed all over them during a “bonding session”).
Cas finds it immensely funny when Benny eats half of the article he was correcting for a magazine, but Dean finds it a lot less hilarious when Benny nibbles on their electricity bill. When the naughty pig escapes his cage (because the smartass found out that if on top of his cabin, he can jump over the edge) and chews on the electrical wire to his state-of-the-art wireless wi-fi station, Dean throws a fit. Not only does he have to pay for reparation, but Cas almost has a panic attack at the thought that the poor thing almost electrocuted itself. Dean has to abort his crisis before Cas starts crying, and they’re on cold grounds for a few days after that. But Dean can’t stay mad at Cas for saying that it’s not Benny’s fault, and he can’t stay mad at Benny either, especially not when he notices how the guinea pig has gone from nibbling on his fingers when he puts them close to his nose to licking them, as if aware that Dean isn't a danger anymore.
Benny becomes a TV regular, replacing the popcorn bowl between them on the couch, and Dean finds himself blushing way too often when they both try to pet his crazy hair at the same time. It’s always awkward to accidentally caress your male roommate’s hand in an affectionate manner. Dean thinks he should come up with a I was trying to hit his petting G spot not sensually caress your fingers version of no homo.
He likes Cas a lot, and they’re very good friends, but Cas is gay and Dean isn’t, and he’s not exactly trying to use Benny to make moves. Thankfully, Dean seems to be the only one thinking about that kind of thing.
Not that he’s thinking about it.
When Cas isn’t with Benny, the guinea pig becomes all he rambles on about. It’s like new parents after they’ve had their baby, and all they can talk about are boring details of everything their baby does; how cute they were when they were drooling over their onesie, what adorable sound they make when they fart, how impressive is the constant growth of their excrement.
Cas talks about Benny in a very similar manner. He wonders at how “widespread his poops are now that he feels safe enough to run around the whole cage.” He takes pictures of Benny all the time, especially when he’s sleeping in one of the beds for small dogs or one of the special guinea pig items Cas purchased from England. (And Dean has to admit, Benny looks pretty damn cute with his squished little face, snuggled into one of the colourful cushions.)
Castiel also meticulously monitors Benny’s appetite, his physical exercise, and his favourite things to eat (that apparently change along with his mood). He notices how Benny likes to take a bit of pellet and then a sip of water and mix in his mouth, and can spend hours going back and forth between the pellet bowl to the water bottle, and reports all of these observations to Dean whenever he gets a chance.
If they weren’t such good friends, Dean wouldn’t be able to listen to everything Cas has to say about the damn guinea pig. But on the other hand, it’s also kind of fascinating how much Cas knows and notices, and Dean realizes that it makes him appreciate Benny much more when he notices a behaviour Cas has previously explained to him.
For example, Cas tells him one night that even though Benny is at least two years old (so a fully grown guinea pig) he often acts like a baby. Sometimes (and Dean can hear that from his own bedroom), Benny gets really excited for no reason and starts sprinting around the cage, squealing with glee. Other times he does those little jump-and-squirm things, hopping into place and shaking his booty in the air, along with a cooing; Cas tells Dean that this behaviour is called “popcorning” and that young guinea pigs do that when they’re excited. Cas says it’s strange but very endearing how Benny still behaves that way despite being a fully grown adult.
More recently, Benny has also developed the habit of letting out a loud shriek every time he thinks something will happen that he’s not okay with. A hand reaching to grab him, or being lifted off the ground, or force-fed C vitamin; even just being pet in the wrong way will make him scream bloody murder even though no harm is actually done to him at all. Dean grumble and calls him a big baby, but Cas is very fond of Benny’s childish behaviour, and thinks it makes him special.
Castiel talks a lot about how happy he is that Benny’s found such a good home with two loving dads. At first, Dean would remind Cas that not only are they not Benny’s “dads” but they aren’t a couple at all, and Dean isn’t anything to Benny since it’s not his pet after all. But as it goes on, Dean realizes he doesn’t have the heart or the desire to correct him every time, and ends up nodding as Cas affectionately calls them Benny's "daddy and dad".
Dean feels something moving around him, and opens his eyes to find Cas’ face inches from his own in the dark of room.
“Wha -?”
“Don’t move,” Cas whispers.
Dean realizes that they’re in the living room, and he suddenly remembers getting a bit sleepy in front of the TV. He looks down to his stomach to see Benny, comfortably napping as his own hand gently lays over him. Dean moves slightly, brushing between the tiny shoulders and Benny purrs, opens his eyes, stretches out and yawns with delight. Guinea pigs yawns are both terrifying and adorable, all in little pink tongue and big sharp teeth.
“What time is it?” Dean mumbles, sitting up slightly. “How long you been sitting there?”
“It’s late,” Cas gives as an only answer. Dean gently slides Benny down to his lap and rubs his face. “You were petting him in your sleep.”
That’s when Dean notices the fondness in Castiel’s eyes and the softness of his smile, an expression he usually reserves for when Benny does something particularly adorable. Dean turns away, trying to contain the storm inside his chest.
It’s not the first time he catches Cas gazing at him like this, with what could be considered "lovey-dovey" heart eyes. If a girl looked at him like that, Dean would probably be all over her, although he’d also be slightly scared she’s going to stalk him for the rest of his life. He doesn’t really know how to react to Cas looking at him that way. Castiel never flirts or comes on to him, or even invite him when he goes out to gay bars, which Dean appreciates. But there's the faces he makes at him sometimes, while he stands a little too close, smelling a little too good.
And it makes Dean uncomfortable, because he's straight. Heterosexual. 100%. Loving the ladies.
But Dean never considered himself a homophobe, and always got angry at people having judgemental or negative opinions about queer folks. Yet he gets so weird and kind of angry every time Cas looks at him like he’s the freaking Arkenstone (which he does way too often). This uncontrollable panic rises inside of him, sweat on his palms, heart hammering up his throat.
And it’s not like he doesn’t like Cas. Cas is awesome. Dean wants to be around him all the time and they have the best time being roommates. But sometimes he also wants to push him away and he can’t pinpoint why, which emotion is making this weird mess inside his heart.
Dean shoves the guinea pig in Castiel's hands and rushes back to his bedroom, head in a storm, the panic threatening to take over. That damn guinea pig is making Cas look at him all weird and Dean hates himself for feeling that way, for being angry at such an innocent creature, and for acting in a way he despises in others. The only person he can't seem to get angry at is Castiel, the cause of all his troubles.
“Dean!”
Dean groans in his sleep and turns away, sinking deeper into his pillow.
“Dean!! Wake up!!”
Something is violently shaking Dean’s shoulder, breaking through his numbness. He very reluctantly lifts an eyelid and grumbles when he catches a flash of blue eyes. His roommate’s voice, usually low and rumbly like a waterfall, is now shrieking high.
“He’s hurt!! Wake up!”
“What? Who?” Dean sits up, limbs heavy from the deep sleep he was sunk into just a few seconds ago. He rubs a hand on his face, his eyes stinging. The light coming from the window indicates that it’s way too early to be up on his only day off.
“Benny.” Cas’ voice breaks. “I woke up very suddenly, I had this feeling, and I went to see him and he hasn’t eaten since last night and his eyes are all swollen and infected-“
The words slowly make their way into Dean’s brain, along with the panic he sees in his roommate’s eyes. He’s never seen Cas look so scared.
“Alright, let’s go see what’s going on…”
Dean gets up heavily, hoping that this is just some ridiculous parent-type freakout. He follows Cas, who has run back into the office.
When he takes a tensed up Benny in his hands and brings him up under the light, Dean has to admit that something is wrong. His dead eye, usually dull and dark, has swollen; the scar around it is red, and there’s blood in his other, terrified, wide open globe. He’s breathing fast, Dean can feel his little heart is hammering through the delicate ribcage, and the tomato and cucumber they gave him last night have remained untouched.
Dean shakes himself up, feeling the panic reaching inside of him as he looks at the poor little guy, so obviously in pain. Dean understands something now, something about how terrible it is to watch such an innocent animal suffer.
“All right, make me some coffee while I call the veterinarian to tell them we’re coming.”
“They’re not – they won’t be open…”
“I know a 24 hour emergency hospital,” Dean replies, going to his bedroom and sliding in his pants.
“Not every veterinarian knows guinea pigs it has to be one specialized in-“
“Small exotic animals, I know, Cas,” Dean cuts, coming back to the kitchen. He stands in front of his panicking boyfriend- wait, no, roommate, what was that word doing in his mind? - locking his own calm eyes into the teary blue ones. “I found one when we got Benny, in case something happened. It’s out of town but we can make it in 45 minutes.”
The expression on Cas’ face brings a new rush of blood to Dean’s cheeks. He's doing that thing with his face again like Dean is an angel or a God of some sort and he would mildly freak out about it, but they definitely do not have time to work that out right now. “Get dressed, get the coffee, I’ll put Benny in the transport bag and call them, alright? And stop looking at me like that.”
Dean drives as fast as possible without being dangerous. Cas’ face is distorted by fear, and he has both his hands around Benny, set in a box on his knee. Dean can hear him sniffle and sees him wipe a tear from the corner of his eyes. He knew Benny was important to Cas – he realizes it more every day – but he’s still stunned by how much Cas cares about this tiny fur ball that doesn’t even weighs three pounds. And how how much himself cares, too. He definitely doesn’t like seeing either one of them like this.
Cas is so scared that he accidentally squeezes the guinea pig a little too tight, which causes Benny to squeal with indignation. Immediately Cas lifts his hands, and starts apologizing profusely, cut up words between choked sobs.
“Relax, Cas, it’s fine,” Dean reassures, “you know Benny’s a drama queen, I’m sure you didn’t hurt him.”
He reaches out a grabs Cas’ left hand, lacing their fingers together and pressing reassuringly as he keeps his other hand on the wheel. Cas’ palm is wet with tears but he doesn’t mind, and he’s thankful when Cas takes a deep breath and nods, his other hand safely laid in the box next to Benny, who snuggles against it.
Once at the emergency clinic, they make them wait for some time, which is spent on Cas’ side by letting out an uninterrupted flow of concerns and worries.
“Do you think he hurts? How long will it take? Should we get him some water? He must be so hungry. He isn’t napping. Even the petting doesn’t work. Dean, what should we do? Can you go ask them again? Do you think it he’ll need surgery? Maybe it’s not that bad. Do you think it’s bad? They wouldn’t make us wait so long if it wasn’t-“
“Cas, it’s going to be fine.”
Dean realizes he’s put his arm around Cas’ shoulder and is nudging him closer, in an attempt to reassure him. Cas doesn’t react much, and since Dean has no better response to offer than “I don’t know” and “I’m sure everything will be okay,” Cas keeps on blabbering until they’re in the examination room.
“The dead eye is infected,” the doctor explains after a short examination. “It could have happened from many sources, maybe he scratched himself and accidentally hit it or maybe it’s something else. To be certain that it doesn’t spread to his other eye, we should remove it altogether.”
“Surgery?”
The blank in Castiel’s voice makes Dean’s eyes jump up. He knows Cas can’t afford an operation. Actually, he doesn’t even know if Cas has enough money in his savings to pay for this appointment.
“Yes. It’s risky, of course, especially on such a small animal. But drops won’t be enough to get rid of this. He risks losing sight completely, if not worse. If you can’t afford surgery, we can put the animal down, to avoid any further suffering.”
“I don’t…” Cas shakes his head and wipes his nose on his sleeve. He’s crying, and Dean just wants to wrap his arms around him and kiss his pain away. (What? Kiss? No. He meant hug. Hug the pain away.)
Seeing Cas like this physically hurts Dean for some reason. Maybe because he knows how rough of a childhood his roommate had, and how good of a man he still became. He knows Cas makes very little money and works very hard, and has no savings because every time he makes extra, he gives it away to animal preservation organization. And he also knows that Cas loves Benny to bits, and that somehow the furry little thing loves him back with all his little guinea pig heart. After all both of them have been through, finding each other was like a miracle.
“We can afford it. Go ahead,” Dean says, putting his hand on Cas’ arm.
Cas turns towards him like Dean has just promised him the Earth, the Sun and all of the stars, but this time it doesn’t make him angry. Before Cas can say anything the veterinarian congratulates them on being such good owners and tells them Benny is very lucky to have found such a wonderful family.
Cas smiles and looks at Dean with so much adoration that Dean feels like his skin is on fire. But he realizes that he doesn’t want to take his hand off Cas’ arm, he doesn’t want to push him away, and something inside of him clicks. Suddenly he feels nothing negative, nothing angry from how Cas is looking at him, because Cas just looks so happy, and it’s all that matters. Dean nudges him closer, tangling their fingers as they take Benny away.
Now Castiel looks like they’ve just ripped away from his arm the cadaver of his only child, and he turns silent as they walk out of the emergency room without the guinea pig. Dean realizes he doesn’t like this either, he doesn’t like leaving the fate of their little guy into the hands of strangers. Cas makes a gesture to hand out his credit card at the register but Dean stops him, and gives his instead. He’s got a good amount of savings, which is why he can afford a roommate who pays rent two weeks late every month. 700 dollars is a big chunk, but as Dean looks over at the man standing next to him, ruffled hair sticking out of the ugliest sweater in the world, he thinks it’s more than worth it.
“You really didn’t have to do this,” Cas tells him once they’re on their way home.
He’s stopped crying and seems calmer now, but Dean knows him enough to know he’s probably feeling even worse. Himself isn’t exactly glad about this either. He planned on hanging out with Benny today; they’ve started bringing him in the living room on a large towel and teaching him tricks, and Benny is great at it.
Dean has discovered lately how smart that tiny thing is, how quickly he can learn new things when there’s food involved. Cas showed him videos of guinea pigs jumping obstacles and spinning in rounds and whatnot, and it’s really impressive. Dean wanted Benny to learn to roll a thread barrel like in the Green Line.
“I’ll pay you back, I can take an extra job-“
“It’s fine.” Dean reaches out and places a hand on Cas’ thigh. He was going for the arm, but his aim isn’t great while he’s looking at the road. “Believe it or not, I care about the damn thing too. You already pay for almost everything, and I finally found someone who doesn’t make fun of me for watching Dr Sexy. I want him back.”
Dean takes away his hand, and realizes he wishes he hadn’t. “Plus, I dunno, I like having him around. I’m happy to do this, alright?”
Dean keeps both his hands on the wheel and his eyes on the road after that, but he can feel Cas’ burning stare on the side of his neck.
When they get home the sun is high in the sky. Cas has to work, but Dean knows he won’t have the mind to it, so he suggests helping him. Cas often works several contracts at a time to make enough money, doing some designs jobs and correcting articles for magazines. Dean knows he really wishes he could write and illustrate his own children books; he’s seen some of his work and was blown away by how imaginative, how clever it is, how pretty his drawings look. He doesn’t understand why Cas keeps getting rejection letters from editors, because he’s read a lot of children’s books when he was raising Sammy, and none of them were half as good as Cas’.
Dean has to bicker with Cas to force him to eat something, and ends up declaring a mandatory sappy movie night. Cas is less than enthusiastic, even when Dean puts on his favourite gay flick, but he’s gained back some colour by the end. And the movie is pretty good, Dean has to admit.
The awaited phone call comes around 9.
“He made it through the surgery,” the receptionist tells Dean. “He’s a tough little guy.” Cas is inches from him, staring at him with big, begging blue eyes. Like moons. But… Sad moons. “The next challenge will be making it through the night. If everything goes well, we’ll call tomorrow morning and you can come pick him up. If he can push through it he’ll be out of danger.”
Although Cas is relieved – and proud – that Benny made it through surgery, he’s just as anxious for the night to come, and when Dean says they should both get some sleep, Cas declares that he probably won’t be able to. He wraps himself in their huge white blanket and puts on another movie, and Dean, with a sigh, sits back on the couch next to him. He can’t let Cas to stay awake alone all night, dwelling on dark thoughts and anxieties. He knows how Cas gets, even with his meds.
Halfway through the next movie Dean hears Cas trying to conceal a sniff. He turns towards him to find him tearing up, enfolded in his cover, his adorable face popping on top of a white fluff ball. Dean moves closer and takes him in his arms, nudging him until Cas rests against his chest with his head on his shoulder. He’s a little wet against his neck but Dean doesn’t mind. He kisses his forehead. He never noticed before how good Cas smells. Or maybe he did, but never realized how much he likes his scent, and having it all over the apartment. Cas’ arms wrap around his chest and throws the cover over them both, and Dean thinks that cuddling a dude is definitely not that bad after all.
“’M sorry,” Cas mumbles, his voice stifled in his shoulder.
Dean turns towards him and kisses his forehead again, longer this time.
“Hey.” He braces his arms tighter around Cas and lets his cheek rest on top of his head. “I’m really worried about him too.”
When the movie ends Cas has fallen asleep, deep breaths against Dean’s chest. Dean puts on season one of Dr Sexy, just to pass the time. He could carry Cas to his bedroom, but it’d probably wake him, plus, without wanting to explore that thought further, Dean has to admit that Cas feels pretty damn good so close to him. Like the equivalent of putting on clothes fresh out of the dryer. Warm, comforting, and smelling like a dream.
A few minutes into the second episode Cas starts to slide off, squirming in his sleep, and Dean has to position him on his lap to avoid moving him too much and waking him. The downside is, he’s wearing nothing but a very thin pyjama bottom, and Cas’ heavy head is resting directly on his dick, putting just the right amount of pressure to create sensations it shouldn’t.
It worsens when Cas turns around and nuzzles into Dean’s stomach. His breath is heavy and warm, right against his pelvis, the heated air invading his most private parts. Cas’ cheek is chubby and soft in places it really shouldn't be. Dean doesn’t know what to do, and he desperately tries to pretend that the only reason arousal is spiking at such a speed in his body is the late night and the fact that he hasn’t jerked off today. And not due to Cas’ warm body spread on the sofa, and to the rumple of his shirt that shows a hint of his sharp hipbone.
Dean feels tickles in his fingers at how much he wants to lean over and touch it, wrap his hand around that hip and caress the offered skin, slipping his fingers down to… No. Of course not. Dean doesn’t want to touch a dude like that, he just... hasn’t had sex in a while. That’s the only reason why he’s feeling so damn turned on from his sleeping roommate, while they wait for news of their possibly dying beloved pet.
Dean whimpers every time Cas moves, especially when his roommate’s fingers clench around his waist, digging in his lower back as Cas presses himself closer against his stomach. Heart throbbing, face so heated he’s literally sweating, Dean feels like he’s near completely losing his mind. Which is why he has no control over his hand reaching and slipping into Castiel’s soft hair. His cock twitches, going from getting there to so fully hard it hurts in a split second, and he can feel his sensitive head pressed against the chubbiness of Cas’ cheek.
Dean should wake Cas up right now. He really should. And it’s not like he’s attracted to Cas, it’s just, it’s a person, with a mouth, a mouth very near his dick. A very, very beautiful mouth. Actually, the most beautiful mouth Dean has ever laid his eyes on. A mouth that makes his whole body shiver every time he thinks about it, that makes him ache with how much he wants to touch it with his fingers, or with his lips, or with- but it’s just a mouth. Right? A sexual feature. It’s not like he craves dick or anything.
Dean shoots a side glance at Cas’ body. He doesn't remember when the white duvet fell off from him and onto the floor. Damn it. Cas is wearing plaid pyjama pants and a grey shirt, that brings out the colour of his eyes. Dean’s eyes lingers on the bump between Castiel’s open legs. He can almost distinguish the shape of… His fingers tighten in Cas’ hair, and he bites his lips to the blood to keep himself from spilling into his own pants. There’s freaking tears in his eyes at how hard the need is hitting him, his mind filled with a billion thoughts he forgot he ever had, that he locked away in that tiny chest in his mind. And now it’s fucking pouring out like Niagara Falls.
Okay, maybe it’s not just the mouth. It’s also the eyes. Cas’ eyes. Cas has the most beautiful eyes Dean has ever seen. And face in general. Adorable and so freaking sexy at the same time. And not only as “I recognize that another male can be attractive” kind of way. In a “I want to come while I look at you and possibly while touching you and maybe also while fucking you” kind of way. Everything that Cas has is the most beautiful Dean’s ever seen, because Cas is the most beautiful person in the world, end of story. He’s the most gorgeous human Dean’s ever met, and he thought he loved him like a friend, like a brother even, he knew he had deep feeling for him but… It’s much, much more complicated than that.
Dean is submerged by a wave of guilt when he realizes what he’s doing right now. He’s angry at himself, he’s shocked, like he’s been hit by a baseball bat (it did happen to him before, he knows the feeling) and he gets the urge to push Cas away, not only because he can’t deal with those thoughts right now, but also because an unconscious Cas is sleeping over his rock hard boner, and that’s just wrong on so many levels.
Cas groans as Dean pushes him off and gets on his feet, and he only stays long enough to make sure that he won’t fall off the couch before he rushes to his bedroom.
He doesn’t even have to force himself to think about something else – like three really hot chicks getting it on – before he spills all over his hands. As is he was a fourteen years old watching porn for the first time.
Dean sits on his bed, head in his hands. It’s too much. He can’t deal with this. And now he just wants Benny to be back, he wants this to be over, and for everything to go back exactly the way it was. He realizes he’s crying too. He doesn’t know what he’d do without that stupid guinea pig. Or without Cas in his life. It's all such a freaking mess.
Dean comes home with his heart hammering against his chest and his hands shaking as he opens the door. He’s carrying a big bag from the pet store, and smiles wide when he sees Cas tilted over the kitchen table, drawing, with Benny on a pad besides him. The guinea pig has nibbled on the corner of the page, and Cas has traced pretty flower patterns around it.
“Great, the whole family’s here!”
“Welcome home, honey,” Cas teases in an unctuous voice, shooting him a filthy glance through his eyelashes.
Since Benny’s surgery, the dynamic between them has slightly changed. Cas doesn’t know anything of the gigantic boner-gay-freak-out incident of that night, of course, but Dean notices how he has been acting slightly different since then. Sitting a bit closer, looking at him even more often, and not just when he thinks Dean doesn’t know. Dean likes to think that maybe it’s because he sensed a change in him, too.
In the last few weeks, Dean has had to rethink his whole life, and his whole self, and it hasn’t been easy. It was a lot of sleepless nights, storms of emotions and ruthless thoughts, and also several long secret talks with Benny. But he’s come around now.
Which is why he’s so freaking stressed out right now. The back and forth kinda flirting thing that’s been going doesn’t guarantee the success of what he wants to ask at all.
“I got presents.” He announces, to get Cas’ attention again.
His roommate gives him one of his adorable, cheek dimples smile.
“What’s the occasion?”
“Well, y’know, it’s been a year this Friday since you moved in, and Friday is also the day Benny will be officially cleared by the doctor-”
“We don’t know that,” Cas cuts, worry line between his bushy eyebrows.
“He will be. And I thought we could celebrate. Make it his birthday or something.”
Cas’ eyes sparkle, and Dean’s confidence is renewed.
“So, I went by the pet store to get him something, but I couldn’t decide…”
Dean takes the gifts out of the bag, and Cas gets up to look closer, shoulder brushing against Dean’s.
“Now that he’s getting better I figured he could use some new stuff for his cage, y’know? I got this ‘cause he’s always nibbling on his wooden box and this is like special fancy wood, plus you can like, put treats in it. I got him a couple of treats, but only ones made by the brands you trust ‘cause he deserves the best. Also this thing, I think you can put food or hay in it and they have to like roll it around to get it out. I think he’ll like that, it’ll help him not get so bored when we aren’t here.”
Cas looks so amazed that Dean thinks one of them is bound to start crying again. His roommate looks like he’s trying to contain something, although it certainly isn’t his smile (it’s big and like a sunshine, flamboyant as he looks at Dean.) Dean feels himself blush, and he realizes, as he glances at all the colourful items on the table, that he went a bit over the top. But Benny has stepped off his pad and is already excitedly sniffing out the new things, and Dean can’t help but smile fondly at their brave little buddy. With his eye patch, he looks like a dishevelled pirate.
“I also thought that maybe I could take sewing classes? Or just find some videos on Youtube. Cause Benny likes those specially made guinea pigs items you bought from England so much I figured maybe we could make him some ourselves, y’know? And he’s doing much better now and he’s warmed up to us and I thought maybe we could find another little guy like him and they’d become friends. I mean we’re not always here and I’m sure he’d like to have someone-“
Dean is brutally interrupted by Cas, who grabs him by the front of his shirt and plants a kiss on his mouth.
Dean is too disconcerted to react to the warmest, smoothest kiss he’s ever been given. But when Cas leans back, beginning to apologize, Dean lets out a dissatisfied sound and wraps his arms around his waist. He brings him closer again, responding to his kiss, stifling a moan as he lightly bites on that perfect, perfect mouth.
“You kinda stepped over the second part of the surprise,” Dean murmurs a minute later as they both catch their breaths, forehead against forehead.
Cas laughs. Dean decides that this is definitely the most beautiful sound in the world.
The second part of the surprise is Cas’ gift, which Dean presents after leading Cas outside by the hand. His stomach is twisted in happy knots, his mind is full of the kiss they just shared, and he’s not so scared anymore.
It’s much easier then to open the trunk of the car and show Cas its content, ten meters of high safe-for-babies fence, and a cooler. The gift comes with a proposal for their very first official date, a picnic near the river, with Benny of course, who will be able to enjoy the date with them in complete safety.
Friday afternoon, after a very successful visit at the vet, Benny runs around his new playground with a lot of popcorning and excited squeals, while his dads enjoy a wonderful meal, followed by a not very safe-for-children make out session. It goes down in Dean's history as the best first date ever.