Chapter Text
Joel's brother, Ellie reluctantly admitted to herself after her first few months of living in Jackson, was not nearly as unbearable as she thought he would be.
It took her a while to warm up to Tommy, largely because when she first arrived at Jackson she refused to detach herself from Joel long enough to have a single conversation alone with him. She would feel a bit guilty about it, forcing Joel to cart her along everywhere he went when he could be catching up with his family, if Joel didn't seem equally unwilling to let Ellie out of his sight for more than a second. That didn't mean she never saw Tommy, of course, since he would visit her and Joel in their house regularly to catch up with his older brother (and how unreal was it that they actually had a house that people could visit them in?). But any time Tommy tried to include Ellie in their conversations, gently prodding her with questions like "and how are YOU settling into Jackson, Ellie?" or "wouldn't you like to come over to our house for dinner sometime, hon? I'm sure it's gotta beat my brother's shitty cooking," she would fix him with such a fierce glare that he'd always back off, giving up on questioning her for the rest of the night. A small part of her knew that it was silly, the irrational jealousy that she felt towards Tommy and his relationship with Joel, but every time he came over she couldn't stop herself from baring her teeth, sending Tommy the silent message that Joel belonged to HER, not him. He would not take Joel away from her.
But, much to Ellie's chagrin, Tommy's friendly smile and stupid endearing southern accent that sounded so much like Joel's managed to slowly wear down her defenses, and a begrudging fondness began to grow in her chest for the man. She went from ignoring his attempts at messing around with her to enthusiastically building off of his jokes, the two of them finding common ground in exchanging shitty puns until Joel was practically begging them to stop before his hair got even grayer. One month after they'd arrived in Jackson, Ellie finally cracked and reluctantly agreed to have dinner at Tommy's house, and pretty soon that turned into her and Joel having weekly dinner nights with Tommy and Maria and letting Tommy affectionately ruffle her hair and call himself her "Uncle Tommy." She had never called him those words herself, despite their newfound closeness (because accepting Tommy as her uncle came with obvious implications about what that made her relationship with Joel, implications that she's not too sure he'd be happy with, if their fight the last time they were at Jackson was any indication), but the fact that she was allowing Tommy to say the words at all showed that somehow Tommy had managed to wheedle his way into the small group of people that she was willing to place her trust in. Damn that stupid Miller likeability.
It was that stupid Miller likeability that made her agree to help Tommy in the stables that day when he asked her. He knew that horses were her favorite out of all the animals that lived in Jackson, and he knew that she wouldn't pass up an opportunity to spend time with the animals, that sneaky bastard.
"Morning, Tommy!" Ellie yelled as she practically barreled into the stables, throwing the door open with so much force that it slammed against the opposite wall and made the whole structure faintly rattle.
"Slow down, you little terror. You're gonna slam that door right off its hinges if you do that one more time," Tommy said in reply, but he had a fond smile on his face as he walked away from the horse he was brushing and ruffled Ellie's hair affectionately. "Morning, darlin'. You're certainly energetic. You that excited to see your Uncle Tommy?"
Ellie swatted his hand away. "You wish, old man. I'm excited to see the horses. I'm just willing to put up with you."
Tommy snorted. "Come on. Shimmer misses you. If you're not feeling too rabid, you can come brush her."
"Fuck you, I don't have rabies," Ellie protested, but she was already snatching the brush from Tommy's grasp and running up to Shimmer as fast as she could without startling her. She gently ran the brush down Shimmer's back, delighting in the way the horse snorted and sniffed her in response. "Hello, beautiful lady," she said, patting the horse gently on the neck. "I missed you." Shimmer turned her head to aggressively sniff Ellie's hand, and she giggled.
"Damn, kid, you really do love that horse more than me, don't you?" Tommy said, shaking his head.
Ellie shrugged unapologetically. "Yep. I would sacrifice your life for Shimmer's in a heartbeat. No offense."
"I wouldn't expect anything different."
Tragically, the horses didn't need much tending to besides giving them their usual food and water, so Tommy handed her a broom and told her to sweep up some of the excess straw littered around the stable. She argued playfully over the request for a bit ("I'm not letting you pawn all your manual labor off to me, old man") but she eventually complied, too excited to be spending time with the horses to really complain about being assigned chores.
And yeah, okay, maybe she was just as excited to spend time with Tommy. Not that she would ever admit it out loud.
"So, how's your week been, Els?" Tommy asked as she dumped a dustpan full of straw into a garbage bag. That was one thing she noticed about Tommy that was different from Joel: he was always calling her nicknames. Besides the occasional "baby girl" when she was really distressed (which always made her tear up a bit for reasons she couldn't really explain), Joel usually just called her plain-old Ellie. Tommy, however, called her just about every nickname and pet name under the sun, grabbing her attention with words like "darlin'" and "honey" and "sweet-pea" that always came out especially molasses-dipped in his southern twang, as if it was second nature to him. The pet names made Ellie much happier than they should, another thing she would never, ever admit.
Ellie jerked one shoulder up and down. "Kinda shitty. I got sick a few days ago and had to be confined to the couch."
Tommy frowned. "You okay now?"
" 'Course. It was just a virus or something, I'm fine now. But I think Joel would have let me leave the house even if I wasn't, cause he was getting pretty sick of me watching The Phantom Menace."
"Ah, you a Star Wars fan?"
"Dude, are you kidding? Star Wars is fucking awesome! It's a movie that takes place in space! It's the coolest fucking shit ever made!" She waved the broom around excitedly as she spoke, accidentally smacking its handle into the wall. "But Joel thinks it's unrealistic sci-fi bullshit." She dropped her voice and did her best impression of Joel's thick southern drawl.
Tommy laughed. "He's always had shit taste in movies."
"Thank you. He just doesn't understand good cinema. Anyway, I don't think he was too annoyed the first time I made him watch it with me, but around replay number five his eyes started to get all twitchy."
"You made Joel watch The Phantom Menace five times?"
"Seven. I thought if I kept making him watch it he'd eventually be worn down and give in to its greatness, but I think I just accidentally inflicted a medieval torture method on him instead. I guess having to watch a movie you hate seven times starts to do things to your mind."
Tommy laughed again, shaking his head fondly. "You're really something special, kid, you know that?" He said, reaching forward and giving Ellie's hand an affectionate pat.
"You're really something special, kid, you know that?"
Ellie's smile dropped, her entire body going cold as if she'd been submerged in ice water. The happy, floaty mood she'd been in all day started to crumble to dust, leaving pure, cold dread in its wake. Her hand, covered in burning pins and needles from where Tommy's hand made contact with her, started to shake, white-knuckling the broom handle she was clinging to. She wasn't in Jackson anymore, wasn't in the safety of the stables with Joel's brother. She blinked, her vision swimming dangerously, and she was back in Silver Lake, trapped in a dark, metal cage, her fingers resting against the bars, inches away from his.
"You have heart. You're loyal. And you're special."
A hand on top of hers. His thumb skidding across her knuckles. Caressing her. And calling her special. And she knew, in that moment, exactly what it was that he wanted from her, and just how far he would go to get it.
"You're really something special, kid, you know that?"
The thick, black, suffocating smoke billowing up all around her.
You're special.
A foot colliding with her stomach. A hand pinning her wrists above her head.
You're special.
Him telling her that the fighting was the part he liked the most. That there was no fear in love.
You're special.
"Ellie?" Just barely registering above the ringing in her ears, Ellie heard a voice speak behind her. A man's voice. "Everything okay, kid? You look a little pale-"
A hand came to rest gently on her shoulder, and she felt fear shoot through her like lightning. "Don't-!" she gasped, jerking back so violently that she nearly toppled over, the broom falling from her hands onto the dirty floor with a distant clatter, because she had to get away, she had to run, David was going to hurt her, she had to get AWAY. "Don't touch me, get off-"
"Woah, woah, easy, there." The voice - it was so close, TOO close to her - made her jump once more, and her head whipped around wildly, her surroundings blurring and flickering in and out of focus, like static on the shitty TV she and Joel had in their living room. The bars of the cage started to fade from her vision, the stable swimming back into focus, and she turned around and found herself face to face with Tommy, worry clear in his furrowed eyebrows and downturned lips. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. You alright?"
Tommy had his hands up beside his head, palms open and fingers splayed out, a clear attempt to indicate that he posed no threat to her. She knew the sight of it should have made her feel safer, but all she could think of when she saw his hands was how those hands had touched her wrist, just like he had, and how he'd said she was special-
"-lie. Ellie! Can you hear me? You're scarin' me a little bit, hon-"
David - no, not David, Tommy, just Tommy - still had his hands up high in the air, and he took several steps away from her as he spoke, giving her much-needed space. He sounded worried, Ellie thought, but it was hard to tell because his face was blurry, the past and the present still scrambled up in her mind. It's just Tommy, she repeated to herself internally, as firmly as she could. She forced herself to focus on his eyes, deep brown eyes that were so similar to Joel's. Tommy is safe, Tommy won't hurt you.
But, another, more frantic part of her brain said, he could if he wanted to. He could hurt you, and nobody would care, because he's been here longer and everyone likes him more than you. Not even Joel would care, because Tommy's Joel's BROTHER, and there's no way Joel would take her side over Tommy's-
"I, u-um…" After several attempts, Ellie's voice finally came back to her, trembling and barely audible. She had no idea what to say, but she could see stars start to wink in the corners of her eyes and she knew that she had to leave, now. "I- sorry, I just realized I forgot to… I-I have to go to, um…"
Whatever mangled, feeble excuse that Ellie tried to concoct as to why she had to leave so quickly died on her lips as Tommy continued to stare at her, nothing but worry and kindness in those warm brown eyes, and suddenly she felt guilt start to rise in her chest along with her rapidly-growing panic, creating a sickening cocktail that bubbled in her chest and clawed its way up her throat . God, what was wrong with her? Why was she thinking about Tommy like this? Tommy, who had shown her nothing but kindness and patience for as long as she'd known him? What would Joel say if he knew that she thought his brother was capable of something so despicable?
Feeling tears start to prick at the corners of her eyes, Ellie pushed past Tommy and walked from the stable as fast as she could without another word.
***
A few days passed since the incident at the stables, and Ellie hadn't spoken to Tommy since then, nor had she told Joel what happened. When he came back from patrol that day and asked how her morning with Tommy had gone, she'd plastered a smile onto her face and told him that everything went great, not wanting to see the look in his eyes if she told him the truth. If she told him that she was scared of being around his brother.
She knew it was so, so stupid to feel scared around Tommy. Not once had he shown even the slightest desire to hurt her, and he'd shown her nothing but good-natured humor and patience from the moment she arrived, even during the weeks when she was a dick to him and tried her damnedest to push him away. All of the logical parts of her brain knew that Tommy, the man who swapped shitty puns with her at the dinner table and told him embarrassing stories about Joel and ruffled her hair called himself her Uncle Tommy, would never even dream of hurting her.
But he could, said the small voice in her head, the voice that always seemed to trump her common sense no matter how irrational its claims were. Tommy COULD hurt you, if he wanted to, and nobody would do anything about it, because everybody trusts him more than you.
The fact that Joel had complete trust in Tommy used to reassure her, if only a little bit, that she could trust him too, but now that fact only made the ball of anxiety in her chest pull itself even tighter. Joel trusted Tommy, and that meant that Joel would never in a million years suspect Tommy of hurting her. Hell, Joel probably wouldn't even believe her if Tommy did, because he'd known Tommy his whole life, and there's no way Joel would take her word over his own brother's.
Right now, the fact that Joel trusted Tommy the way he did made Tommy the most dangerous person in Jackson to Ellie.
He's not dangerous, she tried to convince her stupid brain, repeating the phrase to herself over and over again. He's just Tommy. Not dangerous. Just Tommy. He won't hurt me.
But he could, her brain replied back infuriatingly, if he wanted to. He could.
"Ellie?"
"Huh?" Ellie jolted from where she was seated on the couch, too distracted by the voices in her brain waging war against each other. Joel was standing just a few feet away from her, hand on his hip, staring at her expectantly. "Sorry, what'd you say?"
"I said let's get a move on, kid. We're having dinner with Tommy and Maria tonight, and you're not dressed yet."
Ellie felt her stomach lurch, beads of sweat already forming on her palms. Fuck. She's completely forgotten that tonight was their designated "family dinner night." Usually the prospect was something that she looked forward to all week, but now the idea of having to see Tommy again after the Stable Incident filled her with cold, sickening dread. Not safe, the voice in her head insisted. You can't go. It's not safe.
Ellie wishes she could tell the voice to shove it, that there was nothing unsafe about Tommy and that she wanted to go to dinner with him tonight, wanted everything to go back to normal between the two of them. But the anxiety that was in her chest and constricting her breathing was only worsening as the seconds passed, and she knew that going to Tommy's wasn't an option.
"Um, actually, I-I've been feeling kinda sick again today," Ellie lied, guilt flooding her stomach. "I was thinking maybe tonight I'd just stay home-"
Ellie hadn't even finished her sentence before Joel was kneeling in front of her, brows furrowed, pressing the back of his hand to her forehead. She jerked back, momentarily startled, before remembering that this was just a way for him to check her temperature without a thermometer. "You don't feel warm. Do you think it's the virus you had before?"
"Nah. It's just… my stomach. I feel nauseous." It wasn't exactly a lie; her stomach had started churning uncomfortably the moment Joel mentioned going over to Tommy's, but she knew that the nausea deep in her gut was not caused by any illness Joel could treat. "You can go to Tommy's without me, I don't think I'm up for it."
Joel frowned, moving his hand from her forehead to her cheek. "If you're feeling sick, then I should stay here with you. I don't wanna leave you here all alone."
"No! No, don't do that." Despite her complicated feelings surrounding Tommy at the moment, she would only feel guiltier for making Joel miss out on a dinner with his brother that he was so clearly looking forward to. "I can handle myself for a few hours without you babysitting me. It's just a bit of stomach pain, really. It's probably just cramps or something, I think my period is about to start."
Her last comment was definitely a lie, she wasn't due for another two weeks, but she hoped it would make Joel feel awkward and uncomfortable enough to back off and leave her alone.
But his expression of gentle concern didn't waver. "Do you need me to get you anything? Hot water bottle? Tea? Maria sent over some nasty herbal shit that's supposed to help with that."
Ellie bit back a sigh. Damn Joel and his stupid lack of squeamishness over periods. Makes sense, you're not the first teenage girl he's lived with, her brain supplied unhelpfully, adding a twinge of jealousy to the discomfort-fear-guilt soup bubbling in her stomach. The jealously settled like acid in her throat, and she forced the feeling down.
"You don't need to get me anything, I'll be fine," she insisted. When Joel's expression still remained the same, she forced a grin onto her face and playfully shoved Joel towards the door. "Get out of here. I need to start planning the sick rager I'm gonna throw while you're gone."
That earned her a snort and an eyeroll, but Joel finally conceded, taking his jacket off of the hook by the door and shrugging it on. "Come get me if you need me, okay?" he asked, the worry not quite leaving his eyes. "I'm right across the street."
"I know. I will," Ellie said, knowing that she wouldn't. "Now get out of here. I'll be okay."