Chapter Text
“It’s just one kiss, man!” Stan said, sitting on his bed and looking across at the nervous Tweek who fiddled with his thumbs, still dressing as ‘Wonder Tweek’’, "Super Craigs" partner in crime even after the break up about a week ago.
“AGGH! I DON’T KNOW!” he twitched as he bit on his finger, Stan groaned and crossed his arms.
“You and Craig have been over for a week! If you wanna kiss someone else, you can! Plus, it’s only to figure out if I like guys.” Stan muttered at the end, his face flushing red a bit, Tweek looked at him, pulling at the back of his headband, Stan pushing his yellow glasses back into place “You’re the only other gay kid in town! No way I’m asking Craig!” he huffed, disgusted at the thought of kissing Craig, for some crazy reason, Tweek was a lot more appealing to kiss to him, maybe it was the fact he and Craig looked sorta similar or the fact he just hated Craig's guts.
“Ngh. . . I don’t-” Stan pushed a bundle of dollars into Tweek’s face.
“I’ll give you twenty-five bucks and take you to that really, really expensive coffee shop! I’ll buy you anything out of it and- uh- some of my mom’s brownies!” Stan yelled, trying his best to negotiate with the twitchy blonde.
Tweek gripped at the collar of his jumper, pulling it up to his face to hide his embarrassment.
“THIS IS TOO MUCH PRESSURE- A-AND- so- stupid.” He sighed “Fine.” He stammered under his breath, Stan perking up.
“Wait really?!” he said, a huge grin on his face as he moved closer to Tweek, who nodded and turned to him nervously. Stan looked at him for a moment then took a deep breath “Alright, alright. I’m ready.” He smiled. Tweek gulped as he grabs Stan’s face, Stan looked at him as Tweek bit his lip.
“C-can you close your eyes?” he asks, Stan nods.
“Sure, dude” he closes his eyes and waits for Tweek to kiss him, Tweek looks around nervously muttering to himself before taking a deep breath then letting it out. He stared at Stan who was growing increasingly impatient or nervous maybe both “Twee-” Stan was cut off by Tweek quickly pushing their lips together, Stan opened his eyes to see Tweek closing his tightly, face pink and flustered, Stan kissed back, honestly, he didn’t think he was going to like the kiss and this was just to prove he wasn’t gay but the complete opposite was happening.
Stan placed one of his hands on the back of Tweek’s head, pulling him closer, one of Tweek’s hands on Stan’s shoulder, the other resting on his chest. Stan’s other hand restTweek's Tweek arm that had set itself on his chest. Stan didn’t want the kiss to end but soon Tweek broke it and looked at him, eyes wide, not how they normally wear due to his anxious behaviour but they somewhat sparkled. Stan looked back at him, his cheeks tinted pink.
“Wow- I’ve- I’ve never kissed anyone but Craig before,” Tweek said as Stan just sat there for a moment, covering his mouth. Tweek smiled nervously as he played with the strings off his headband “I wouldn’t mind doing it again. . .” he looked down then back at Stan who stood up and rushed out of the room, Tweek sat there in confusion for a moment before yelling and grabbing his hair “Wouldn’t mind doing it again?! why would I SAY THAT- GAHH!” he rambled to himself, going on and on to himself until Stan came back into the room, wiping his mouth.
“Sorry about that Tweek, I thought that it only happened when I was still with Wendy-”
“I’M SO SORRY I DISGUSTED YOU! GAHH!” Stan paused and looked at Tweek sitting on his bed still panicked, Stan shook his head no.
“Tweek! Calm down, I liked it! I really did!” he said, rushing over and sitting next to him grabbing his hands from his hair. Tweek looked at him, his eye twitching.
“YOU DID?!” he asked, gritting his teeth, Stan nodding.
“I did! I just- it’s just some weird thing that happens to me! I swear I’m not disgusted with You!” Stan said, he sucked at comfort, he knows that but he was trying, Tweek let out some of his odd noises, Stan took a deep breath then kissed him again, Tweek was shocked by the action as he still had the lingering thought he hated it, Stan pulled away, suppressing the urge to puke “See?-”
“What- the fuck.” Stan whipped his head to the doorway to see Shelly standing there, confused.
“Shelly. Don’t” Stan said, Shelly narrowed her eyes and then began running downstairs.
“MOOOMMM! STAN’S KISSING BOYS!” Stan jumped off the bed, running downstairs after her.
“SHELLY!-” Stan yelled after her, running down and grabbing the back of her shirt.
“Let me go, turd!” she yelled, hitting him on the head.
“OW! Mom! Shelly’s hitting me!” Stan groaned, Tweek coming down the stairs muttering to himself loudly but incoherently.
Sharon sighed, walked out of the kitchen and pinched the bridge of her nose while watching the scene go down, Stan was pulling Shelly back while she was trying to pry him off.
“Stanley and Shelly Marsh! What’s with all this noise?! And in front of one of your friends? You should be ashamed Stanley!” Sharon placed one hand on her hip, the other pointing her finger at the two siblings fighting.
“How come Stan can kiss boys but I can’t?!” Shelly hissed, finally getting Stan off of her. Stan looked at her and then at Tweek who was still muttering sitting on the end of the stairs.
“What are you on about Shelly?” Sharon asked her confused “Stanley, do you want to explain yourself?” Sharon raised her brow. Stan looked at Tweek then at his mother.
“No, not really” he shrugged, Tweek groaning as he placed his head on his knees while covering it with his arms.
“Randy!” she yelled, Stan and Shelly both side-eyeing each other as their father entered the room.
“What’s going on?” he asked, his wife crossing her arms.
“Tell both your children they’re too young to be kissing boys!” she said, Randy sighed.
“Shelly, you can’t have a boyfriend- wait both?” he questioned, Sharon nodded.
“Yes both!” she exclaimed, Randy instantly turning his head around to look at Stan.
“You’ve been kissing boys?” he asked, Stan looked at Tweek again “Well, Sharon isn’t it homophobic to not let him kiss boys?” he said, Sharon looked at him angrily.
“He’s too young to have a boyfriend!” she said, Randy raised his brow.
“But he was dating that Wendy girl at one point-”
“He’s too young for a boyfriend or girlfriend!” she huffed “So tell him!”.
“What boy did you kiss- was it Kyle?” he raised a brow.
“No, I kissed Tweek” Stan pointed at the anxious blonde sitting on the stairs whose head shot up.
“WHY DID YOU TELL HIM?!” he screamed, panicked like always as he jumped up and rushed over, grabbing his white t-shit by the collar.
“My dads stupid and wasn’t going to catch on if I didn’t say anything then he’ll think me and Kyle are dating or something” He whispered, Randy standing there with his mouth wide open.
“Shame on you Stan! Kissing another man’s boyfriend!” Stan looked at his dad confused.
“They’re not together anymore, Dad, they broke up” he responded, sighing, annoyed he still has to put up with his father’s stupidity since it was common knowledge the town's first gay kids’ relationship had ended.
“Oh.” Randy responded, Sharon, sighed, giving up on relying on her husband “Well, here’s twenty bucks, you can’t kiss a guy and then not take him out, go get him a coffee or something.” Stan stared at his dad before taking the money, Tweek groaned loudly, banging his head off the wall nearby as Randy walked off while Sharon followed him, scolding him for going against her there.
“Not againnnn!” Tweek said, Stan looking at the twenty bucks in his hands.
“Again? you mean- people give you money for being gay?” he asked, Tweek rolled his eyes, Shelly had walked off mid-conversation as she didn’t care for another lecture from her mother.
“Doesn’t matter, let's get outta here.” Stan shrugged and walked into the kitchen and snatched some of Sharon’s brownies before running out, grabbing Tweek’s hand and rushing out of the house “WHY ARE WE RUNNING?!” he yelled, Stan waited till they were a bit away then turned to him, handing him the brownies.
“Here- the- brownies, as promised. My mom said they weren’t to be touched till after dinner but she’ll think it was my dad so we’re okay” he responded and kept walking, not realising he still had a hold on Tweek’s hand “You still wanna play superheroes with us? We’re playing another round at six till half seven” he said, Tweek making the noises he always makes as Stan stopped at that coffee shop he was talking about “We have half an hour before the game starts” he stated, Tweek nodded.
“Fine.” He muttered as they walked into the coffee shop, some people staring at them and whispering well- more just talking like they were trying to be secretive.
“What do you want?” Stan asked, Tweek looked at the menu, muttering the names of the drinks before choosing, Stan didn’t understand why he did it but he dismissed it. Tweek lingered on one drink.
“GAH! Too much pressure I just- uh- CAPPUCCINO!” He yelled, Stan looked at the barista at the counter.
“You sure?” he asked, Tweek paused for a moment as if he was going to lose his mind but he simply nodded “Okay then, one cappuccino and hot chocolate please, can you put cinnamon on top of the whipped cream instead of marshmallows?” he put the twenty dollar bill on the counter, the woman smiled.
“Aren’t you two just the cutest lil’ couple ever! Of course, honey” she smiled as she took the money and then gave them the change “One-minute boys” she rushed off to make the two their drinks. Tweek and Stan paused.
“Couple?” Stan questioned, then it hit him, he was still holding Tweek’s hand. He let go “Sorry Tweek” he rubbed the back of his head, Tweek didn’t say anything he just waited for their order “Twee-”
“Here you are, boys! And some cookies on the house!” the barista said as she handed them a bag of cookies and gave them their drinks, they thanked her before leaving, Tweek taking three huge gulps of his cappuccino.
“Stan, you know the towns won’t leave us alone now, right?” Tweek sighed, Stan raised his brow.
“What do you mean?” he asked, Tweek groaned and pulled him aside to a bench that was out of sight and placed his coffee down after another few gulps.
“When me and Craig were together there was so much pressure on us! They all wanted us to be gay and stuff and-” Stan choked on his hot chocolate as he looked at him confused.
“Wait, wait, wait- you guys aren't gay?!” Stan said shocked, Tweek jumped.
“NO! I AM GAY- S-so is Craig we just didn’t realise until after the town forced us together” Tweek cleared up, drinking more of the coffee then taking a bite out of the brownie in his hand, sighing.
“Oh- wait we’re not dating though?” Stan responded, biting into one of the cookies.
“Well, a lot of people think we are so we’re not getting out of this any time soon” he groaned, finishing the brownie, Stan sighed.
“Sorry” he responded, Tweek shook his head as he finished off the coffee.
“We’ll- ngh. . . figure something out!” He groaned as Stan handed him one of the cookies “Just don’t be shocked if people start giving you money and other free shit” he snickered, Stan smiled, he had never heard Tweek laugh before, it was cute.
“Alright cool” he smiled, the two kept chatting for ages, forgetting about the fact they were meant to join the others to play superheroes.
After a few hours it got dark, Stan walked Tweek home then went home himself, ate dinner and went to his room, wanting to avoid more questions about the Tweek situation. While sitting in his room scrolling through Instagram (mainly Tweek’s as they’ve been texting back and forth on the app about their current dilemma) as he got a call from Kyle.
“Hey man, what’s up?” He said, putting him on speaker and going back into his Instagram messages.
“You didn’t show up for the game today, did something happen?” Kyle responded, just checking in on Stan.
“No uh- Tweek and I got sidetracked is all.” He responded, not wanting to go into detail about the whole situation while responding to Tweek’s jumbled-up message, lots of misspellings and capitals in random spots but he could read it, no biggie.
“So, it’s true then?” Kyle asked, Stan paused.
“What’s true?” he asked, it could be many things but he had a feeling of what it was.
“You and Tweek, are you guys actually together? Are you actually gay, dude?” Kyle asked, Stan sighed.
“Uh- Yeah, it is and I’m not necessarily ‘gay’, I like boys and girls, you know?” he responded, he and Tweek discussed a break up after a small while of ‘dating’ since it all started from a misunderstanding and Shelly ratting him out.
“So, you’re Bisexual and you never told me? Aren’t we super best friends, Stan?” Kyle asked, a little bit irritated.
“I sorta only figured out recently, when I realized I had feelings for Tweek” he lied about his feelings for Tweek, well he thought he was lying.
“You know you can come to me if you need me, dude” Kyle said reassuringly as Stan hummed.
“Yeah thanks, man, I’ll see you in school tomorrow, I’m tired as fuck” he said as he yawned.
“Right, night Stan” With that Kyle hung up, Stan wasn’t really tired, he just didn’t want to keep talking he smiled seeing a text from Tweek come through with a smiley face at the end.
Maybe this fake dating thing wouldn’t be too bad.