Chapter Text
The strength of the full moon courses through every fibre of Enid's muscles. She runs long strides between the trees, faster than she ever has. If Wednesday hadn't been in danger, the feeling would have been exhilarating.
As she approaches Crackstone's crypt, she notices the wind changing direction, thick with the stench of blood.
She catches a familiar scent, but it's almost covered by the smell of death. The two are so deeply entwined Enid barely recognises Wednesday's scent.
No no no, please no.
She refuses to think of the implications. It just can't be.
Still her heart races, adrenaline floods her veins. She runs faster.
Because of the Blood Moon floating high in the sky, her senses are pushed to overdrive. She can hear every rodent scurrying away, every twig crack under their tiny steps, the wind whistling through the leafless trees… and a voice.
"Flattery will get you nowhere."
Enid's heart grows warm, but the relief is short-lived. Deep beneath the venomous deadpan, so characteristic of the girl she's dead worried about, she notices an unusual shakiness.
Before she can process this, a horrible shriek echoes through the forest. This is the scream of a predator. For the first time in her life, her wolf is afraid.
But the scream is not the worst part. The worst part is: it comes from the exact same location Wednesday's voice did.
As she homes in on her roommate's position, the stench of death fills her nostrils, drowning out everything else.
But it was her voice. That means she's alive, right? She has to be.
Enid jumps over a rock in one long leap, crosses a dead tree as though it had been a mere twig, she ignores the bite of low branches slashing her legs. Forming behind the trees, she makes out a large bulky silhouette and in front of it, standing proudly, Wednesday Addams. She has never looked so small . Her wolf growls at the sight, wanting to curl around the tiny girl and never leave her unprotected again.
She is alive, and so she will stay.
The Hyde is massive . He is towering at 7 feet high, and even if she were able to shift, the grotesque knots of muscle covering his long arms could snap a grown wolf in two. He has long claws that could shred her to pieces, huge unnatural eyes she could never escape.
Yet she does not hesitate, yet she jumps between him and Wednesday.
"Enid?"
She sounds incredulous.
"What? Did you think I'd let that creep mess with my roomie?"
Enid can swear she sees a flash of gratitude pass in the goth's eyes, but she immediately goes back to utter determination.
"Enid, I need to get back to the school."
Her tone is grave, almost sad. She knows what she's asking. For once she is not using Enid against her will. No manipulation, just the plain cruelty of the situation: if Enid doesn't throw herself at a deadly foe with all odds stacked against her, the whole school is in danger.
"Go, I will hold him back."
Wednesday plants her black eyes into hers, clenching her jaws. She doesn't move an inch.
Damn it Wednesday, the one time I wish you didn't care about me.
With her werewolf metabolism, she knows she can endure so much more than a human being, even an Addams. Enid is a failure anyway. Not even a real werewolf, barely the girl she pretends to be, no one in their right mind would want to stand by her side, saving her rather than the entire school.
Yet Wednesday doesn't move. Her gears are visibly turning, and if she can't come to the only logical decision by herself, Enid will have to push her.
Why does she even care anyway? I've only ever let her down.
Her roommate's words flash back to her mind. 'Enid… the mark you have left on me is indelible.'
Enid's heart tightens. With more time, this could have worked. For once she could have belonged . But the stakes are too high. She knows what she has to do.
"I'm about to shift Wednesday. I can feel it, I'm about to wolf out." For someone usually so honest, Enid thinks she does a decent job at lying. Perhaps enough to fool Wednesday Addams. "Trust me, just go!"
Her throat tightens, she can feel the tears building up, ready to reach her eyes. But she steels herself. If she falters now, Wednesday won't leave.
It's for the better anyway, at least with this sacrifice my life will actually mean something.
Wednesday casts her one last glance–literally, Enid thinks bitterly. Her eyes say 'I believe in you Enid.' and it shatters the werewolf's heart.
She can't even look at Wednesday's back as the girl leaves.
* * *
Now that she is alone–when hasn't she been–Enid can turn her full attention to the Hyde. In a futile attempt at putting up a fight, she draws her rainbow claws out.
The monster wants to run after Wednesday but making good use of her reinforced muscles, she prances and slashes at his back. She feels her claw run deep in the corrupted flesh, but the Hyde barely winces.
"You stay with me!"
He tries another leap in the raven's direction, but this time Enid's claw strike his ankles, destabilising the creature. She had hoped he would stumble, giving her a shot at a fatal blow, but he remains steady on his feet. He does turn back to her however.
Well, here come the troubles.
As he turns to Enid, the Hyde launches his disproportionate arm in a large swipe. The Lycan did not expect such a massive creature to move so fast and she reacts an instant too late. The heavy fist sends her tumbling to the ground in a deafening thump. Under the force of the impact, air deserts her lungs, and she distinctively feels three ribs snapping.
A black veil is quickly forming before her eyes, clouding her vision, and she can feel her consciousness fade away. In an instant she will black out, and the murderous creature will just crush her for good. A final thought forms in Enid's mind.
That was the last time I saw the black of Willa's eyes.
These eyes that watched me with utter trust.
These eyes who saw me. Who cared about me…
Enid holds to this thought like a rock in the middle of the ocean. She will not drown so easily. Not under a full blood moon. Through sheer willpower, she claws her way out of the haze engulfing her mind. Adrenaline flows back through her body, giving her an eerie sense of clarity.
Pain is just information. Fear a mere warning. She registers them. Dismisses them. Overrides them.
I will not yield.
And suddenly, for the first time in her life, Enid feels perfectly attuned to the full moon. She feels the wolf inside her, within reach. She raises an arm, reaches for him. He's just an inch away. She could give in, surrender her sense of self in exchange for power. She retracts her hand.
No.
Not like that.
I'm not that person anymore. I'm done begging a wolf I never wanted. My body is mine, not His.
When Enid opens her eyes, she knows. She hasn't shifted and never will, but she did not turn her back to the moon, she harnessed Her. Traded the brute force of the wolf for the terrible grace of the tide.
Her senses are heightened to a point she could never have dreamed of. She sees the sheen of humidity in the air. She feels the slightest variation in atmospheric pressure on her skin, and underneath she feels the vivid itch of her lightning fast healing. When she hears the loud treading of the Hyde coming her way, she notices how the soundwave is bouncing off a rock he will have to step over. And she knows with full clarity this will be her moment.
The clawed foot rasps against the uneven stone surface, betraying the slim change of balance. That is Enid's cue. She catches the very moment he shifts his weight forward, losing momentarily his mobility. She rolls effortlessly and jumps to her feet, lurches under the beast's arm, lifted to balance his absurd mass, and she unleashes a flurry of claws on his flank. As he shrieks in pain, she lands on one foot and spins to face his back, cutting deeply with her claws again.
Enid's jubilation doesn't last long however, for the pain drives the Hyde into a frenzy. He lashes out at random with humongous arms. Enid feels a slight movement of air bristling against the thin skin of her neck, and ducks just in time for the razor sharp claws to miss by a hair.
The Lycan's reflexes work wonders, she ducks and she slides, she rolls and she jumps, she dances between the strikes like water beneath moonlight, but she is overpowered. With each fatal blow she barely dodges, the Hyde traces blood red lines on her pale skin. And soon, she finds her energy is draining. As for the Hyde, he is a tireless beast. No matter how many times Enid slashes him, he never slows down. She is bound to lose this fight. Soon, she starts dodging split seconds too late, and the deadly claws bite her flesh more deeply. She takes a first full on strike to the flank, then a nasty stab to the thigh, damaging the femoral artery. When she takes a deep scratch to the forehead, it has time to bleed enough to cover her left eye with a red veil.
She realises how dire the situation is: her werewolf metabolism has stopped healing minor injuries because it has to focus on repairing the lethal wounds.
You put up a good fight Enid, Wednesday would be proud.
She takes another blow to the back, barely avoiding the claws, and the blunt force alone cracks her ribs again, this time damaging her lungs. She feels the ribs snap back into place thanks to what's left of her healing power. When her lungs are repaired, she is almost certain that her body has exhausted its resources. She won't be able to recover from another full hit.
Now you just have to endure. Every second you survive is a second the Hyde stays away from the school.
Exhausted from the fight and the blood loss, the blonde girl drops to her knees. She's bruised and battered, her skin covered in cuts, and as the adrenaline begins to recede, an acute pain overwhelms her. The Hyde is limping towards her, a ruthless look in his grotesquely large eyes. At least she gave him a good round for his money. He raises his arms, ready to strike down the Lycan.
So long, Willa…
A gunshot echoes through the trees.
"Tyler? Son, is that really you?"
* * *
The walk back to Nevermore is tedious to the extreme, as Enid struggles even standing on her feet. She's on autopilot, her mind completely shut down by exhaustion. One foot, and then the next. A name tries to form in her thoughts. When she reaches the main gate, a group of students are gathered, among which a certain Gorgon boy. She was so worried. About him? He immediately comes to her, and as he wraps her in his arms, Enid feels a blissful relief wash over her. Well, she's about to feel it that is. She's gonna be relieved, any time now…. Her heartbeat is about to get faster too. Soon. Yet her mind wants to think about someone . What's the name?
She tries to ground herself in Ajax's scent, but she can barely register it. And the knot in her chest doesn't melt in the embrace. And the more she tries to understand why she doesn't feel what she's supposed to feel now that she's in her boyfriend's arms, the more the knot tightens. Why does she feel so restless? Her wolf never liked him, but now it shouldn't be a problem anymore. And who is it she's trying so hard not to worry about.
Someone hands her a cereal bar, she doesn't even say thank you and eats it with Ajax's arm weighing uncomfortably on her shoulders. As the sugar kicks in, the state of shock begins to dissipate slightly. A clear thought finally forms in her brain, escaping her mouth at the exact same time.
"Where is Wednesday?!"
A heavy silence settles over the group of students.
Enid suddenly finds herself short of breath, heart racing.
Why isn't anybody answering?
Why isn't she with the others?
A stench of blood and death flows from inside the gate, the same stench she smelled at the crypt. As she tries to locate its source, she sees three silhouettes emerging from inside the castle. One of them is about the same size as the others, and still the person feels so small .
Instincts take control and the Lycan runs as fast as her sore legs allow, rushing to Wednesday.
Terrified by the smell of death lingering over the raven, she can't help but throw herself in her arms in a moment of weakness.
Immediately, Wednesday pulls away, staring at Enid with eyes unreadable as ever.
Damn it Enid. She's probably dealing with massive trauma right now, she needs her boundaries more than ever.
A moment passes, and Wednesday is still looking at her, and she's staying at arms' reach. And all of a sudden, the unthinkable happens. Wednesday pulls her back into the tightest hug. And she's burrowing her face in the crook of Enid's neck!
The Lycan squeals internally. She takes it as permission to do the same, and buries her nose in the smaller girl's shoulder.
First, the smell of death and decay is unbearable, but as she presses in, she can discern a more familiar scent: freshly dug earth, impending rainstorm, and, indiscernible to a human nose, a hint of cinnamon.
This fragrance becomes Enid's world, nothing exists anymore outside the warmth of the embrace.
After several minutes, or maybe several days, Enid can't tell, Wednesday begins to softly pull away from the hug, and Enid braces for the loss of physical contact. But to her surprise, the smaller girl stays close, and without ever breaking the touch, she tugs her shoulder under Enid's arm to support her weight.
"Come on, let's get you to the dorm." Wednesday's voice is… caring?
Enid gasps, her answer stuck in her throat. At the moment she blames it on her injuries, she knows she's fooling herself.
If she leans into the Raven slightly more than she needs to, that's a secret she will take to the grave.
At some point during the hug, people had gone back inside to give the girls some privacy, and Enid hopes that from where she is, Wednesday can't see her blushing at the thought. They walk in silence through the corridors, and even the few times someone walks by, the goth doesn't give the slightest cue that she wants to let go of her. If fighting a Hyde is what it takes to allow Enid into her roommate's intimate bubble, she's willing to fight one every other day.
When they reach their dorm, Wednesday opens the door with her free hand and leads the two of them to the bathroom, and then kneels slowly to effortlessly lower Enid onto the floor. As she removes the arm supporting her, the sore Lycan tries to lean against the wall, but her muscles falter and she almost collapses on her side.
Enid swears she can see worry flicker deep in the dark and expressionless eyes of her roommate before she turns her back to her.
"Oopsie, I think I'm really tired." Enid tries to laugh.
Wednesday doesn't answer.
Not a word… So she just carried me there out of duty, she doesn't care.
Before the blonde can process how much she misses the touch already, Wednesday comes back with a first aid kit. Her brow is knitted in concentration, as when she freezes behind her typewriter, hands hovering above the keys, thinking about the best way to conclude a chapter. She has a job to do.
As black eyes inspect the cuts on her face, Enid finds herself unable to look back, so she looks at the floor. She focuses on the cold feeling of the tiles under her thighs. In her peripheral vision, she sees Wednesday damp some sterile gauze with rubbing alcohol.
"You're usually very sensitive to physical pain for a Lycan. I suggest you brace, this will sting."
Enid closes her eyes and clenches her jaws, expecting a cold, mechanical rub to her forehead, so she can't hold back a gasp when she feels a touch so gentle and intimate she almost doubts it is Wednesday's hand.
"I warned you."
Yeah it was the alcohol. Definitely the alcohol.
As she relishes a bit too much in the soft rubbing along her cuts, Enid begins to realise she's in deep, deep trouble.
Wednesday raises to her feet, and grabs a glass, fills it up and shoves it in Enid's hands.
"You need rehydration, drink. I asked Thing to fetch some sustenance for you, he should be back soon."
Despite the exhaustion, Enid can't resist a bit of teasing.
"Aw, that's adorable. Who knew you could be so considerate? Are you going soft on me, Wens?"
"Alas, I'm afraid I am. I've hardly wanted to murder you at all since we reached the dorm." The goth deadpans.
Did Wednesday just flirt back? And why does Enid feel so confused at the thought? It probably does not mean anything anyway, she's just shook by the chaotic night. It's not like they're gonna go on dates and stuff. Can you imagine that? Ridiculous. But maybe if she comes back next semester, Enid could maybe ask her out? As friends. Her expulsion cannot be still holding after all this, can it?
"Now get undressed Enid. Or do you need assistance with that?"
Enid chokes on her water, her face takes a deep red. Did Wednesday read her mind?
"W-wait, I'm not sure." Enid blurts out. "It's not that I don't want to–I mean I could want to… But aren't we rushing it? And–"
"Enid. I meant for the shower. We need to get you cleaned up."
"Oh."
The adorable blush on her roommate's face makes it almost worth it that Enid dumped her own pride down the drain.
"... Please kill me now." Enid deadpans, burying her face into her knees.
"I would take you up on that offer, but I'm afraid your demise has lost some of its appeal to me. For now. So? Are you disposed to settle for a mere shower?" The teasing tone will haunt Enid until she draws her last breath.
Not only Wednesday just openly flirted twice in a row, but now Enid could swear the blush on the raven's face has deepened. Yet the Lycan can feel a panic attack looming in the form of a dilemma. If only she had been like every other teenage girl. If only she could just trust the butterflies in her stomach and accept, follow her crush–what a timing to realise she has a crush on Wednesday, really–in the shower for a sweet, intimate moment she would probably remember her whole life. But she can't, otherwise Wednesday would see . She would know what a creep Enid is. She'll probably puke just by remembering she let Enid hug her. And she will of course never want to be her roommate again, let alone her friend.
You never belonged here anyway.
"I can't accept Wens…" Enid's voice is suddenly dead serious.
"I must insist. You cannot go to bed covered in blood and dirt, and you can barely stand on your own. The conclusion is self-evident."
"I c–I can't."
"I did not take you for shy. But I will obviously not pressure you, your boundaries are sacred in this matter."
"It's not because I'm shy." the blonde answers in a shaky voice.
"Do you care to explain then?" Wednesday asks, visibly confused. Her tone is not even a veiled injunction, she genuinely wants to know whether Enid would be okay with explaining.
"I can't." Enid answers through gritted teeth, holding back her tears. She could scream in frustration. After all she went through earlier, not only is she robbed of the comfort she craves, she also has to repeatedly deny the person she most definitely does not want to deny.
"It's fine, I understand. I have never been one to elicit trust." Her tone is flat, but there is a sort of tension to her voice. "Do you wish that I go to Yoko so she can assist you in my stead?"
Enid's heart shatters. Wednesday is being so considerate, she's going out of her way to take care of her, and yet Enid is forced to hide once again. To remain silent, like when her mother calls her… something she doesn't want to be called.
Fuck. Fuck this. I'm done hiding.
"I can't, because I'm not supposed to be here. I'm disgusting."
"You are refusing a shower because you are not clean. I do not understand your logic."
"Ugh, no, I didn't mean literally. I… I was not born a woman Wednesday." Her voice breaks.
Well, now she kno–
"Nonsense. No one is. 'One is not born a woman, but rather becomes one.' Have I told you Simone de Beauvoir and her husband used to be my idols? But then I learned about their behaviour with students, sickening, really, and not in the fun way, trust me… Anyhow, wom–"
Uuuuurgh.
"Wednesday, stop, I'm not talking feminist theory." Enid interrupts more harshly than she wished to. To the Lycan, Wednesday's matter-of-factly approach to conversation has always been endearing, and so have been her soliloquies about her niche interests. But right now, she's trying to spill some really sensitive tea and it's not helping. "What I mean is: I have nothing to do in a girl's dorm, let alone in a girl's bathroom."
Wednesday looks at her with visible confusion, gears turning hard in her head.
If only the Addams girl had not been raised in a near-mediaeval environment, Enid could have used some explicit vocabulary to rip this bandaid, but since she barely understands phones …
"Oh." the Goth says flatly. "Are you trying to tell me that you are transgender?"
"Wait you know that–Urgh, whatever. Yes Wednesday, I'm trans."
"Of course I know what that word means. Do you think I have been raised in a mediaeval environment?"
Busted…
Then, something appears to click in Wednesday. Suddenly, her eyes ignite with cold wrath.
Here it comes…
"Who told you you did not belong in a girls' dorm?" Wednesday spits. "Give me a name Enid, they will not see the sun rise."
Wait what?!
A wave of relief washes over Enid, perhaps even more potent than the one she felt when her best friend emerged from the castle alive. The Lycan never thought she would shed tears of joy at hearing threats of murder, but she is now positively a sobbing mess. The mark Wednesday has left on her is indelible as well.
"Nobody in person, just people on the internet."
"Hmm." Wednesday acknowledges, probably making a mental note to learn how to track down people through social media. "Should this be the reason for your worry, needless to say that this affects in no way how I think of you. I equally despise you as I did prior to your coming out." How can this last sentence sound so sweet is a mystery to Enid.
"Now, can we proceed to this shower?"
"D-do you mind looking away while I get und–ready."
Wednesday looks at her with a slight twitch in her lips that Enid would swear constitutes a comforting smile by her roommate's standards.
"Of course, tesoro."
Was that Italian?
Without further ado, the Raven turns away and Enid proceeds to remove her torn and bloodied clothes. Her pink jumper and white tank top are absolutely ruined, and her leggins are in no better shape.
Once completely naked, the blonde's heart begins racing. The situation is so surreal, she is standing naked in their bathroom a few feet behind Wednesday's back, Wednesday who ostensibly fixes the wall on the opposite side.
"Wens? I think I'm freaking out a bit."
"That's… understandable. May I suggest a course of action?"
"Yes please."
"Do you feel strong enough to walk a few steps?"
"I think so, yeah."
"Then just walk to the shower, and wait for me there, facing the wall. Once you're ready, just call me. That way I will only see your back, this should give you time to get accustomed to the situation."
"Yeah, I think this could work…"
"Take all the time you need."
Since when are unveiled displays of consideration for someone's feelings a Wednesday thing?
Once safely in the shower, holding to the railing on the wall, Enid gathers her courage.
"O-okay, I think you can come."
Without a word, her roommate joins her, the sound of her steps echoing timidly on the glass panels around them. Small hands with black nail polish emerge from behind Enid's back, brushing past her arms to reach the faucet, and an instant later, warm water rains over her. Over them .
After a few minutes, Enid feels gentle fingers land tentatively on her shoulders, barely touching her. The raven is waiting, leaving her all latitude to retract should she feel uncomfortable. When Enid doesn't move, Wednesday's palms come resting on her skin. After an instant, understood as silent agreement, her hands start to move. They slide softly up the sides of her neck, and soon enough the goth is shampooing her head, fingertips massaging her scalp. Enid doesn't even bother hiding a sigh of satisfaction. The touch is so soothing, so intimate, it simply mesmerises the blonde girl, her mind goes blank. It's when she notices the muscles in her back relaxing completely that she realises Wednesday's hands have left her head for her back.
When her roommate reaches her flank, she pauses, silently asking for permission to touch her stomach. It is known that Lycans are very sensitive about their belly, the most vulnerable part of their body. For some, even lifelong partners are not allowed to so much as brush against it, but Enid is basking in complete trust to the point she doesn't even flinch from full on rubbing.
When Wednesday's hand reaches her waist, she pauses. Enid's heart is thumping in her chest. For the first time since they got into the shower, her roommate breaks the silence.
"May I?"
How will it feel when Wednesday's hand reaches between her thighs? Terrifying? Humiliating? Arousing?
"Y-you may."
It feels nothing of the three. It just feels… natural. This is part of her body, and Wednesday treats it as such. Nothing more, nothing less. With that same gentle touch she's been giving her, with a softness nobody would suspect she's even capable of. For once, her body feels like a whole, not a sum of parts. The tear Enid sheds at this simplicity runs on her cheek and is lost in the streaks of hot water.
When she touches the large scar on her right thigh, where the Hyde stabbed Enid with his claw, Wednesday freezes.
"Enid… would you mind turning around? I need to inspect this wound."
Enid doesn't really hesitate. If anything, she almost wants Wednesday to see her. Slowly, without a word, she turns to face the other girl. She can't hold a gasp when she sees her roommate. Never in the world did she think she would see that much of her skin–well, all of it.
"What?" Wednesday asks raising an eyebrow. "Did you think I showered in full uniform?"
Without further ceremony, Wednesday crouches to inspect her lower thigh.
Don't think about where she is Enid. You know what, don't think at all.
"It pierced right through the femoral artery. That's beyond even Lycan regeneration." Wednesday sounds shook. "You should be dead."
"It's because… It turns out I was not a late bloomer. I'm just not a shifter. And–"
"You faced him in human form?!"
The smaller girl jumps to her feet. Her black eyes are open wide, pupils dilated in terror. "You're not a shifter… I left you there to your death."
"Oh Willa. You didn't know."
Before she can add anything, Wednesday hugs her tightly.
"You should be dead." She repeats against her shoulder, obviously grounding herself in the contact of their skins.
"Don't worry, I'm safe now. I don't exactly know how, but I know the moon protected me. I don't shift, but She still lends me power. And I didn't take you for a girl to be afraid by something so mundane as a near-death-experience."
Maybe joking was not the thing to do, because all of a sudden, Wednesday retreats from the hug. She seems to realise how much she revealed herself.
"Please forgive me for this outburst of emotion. I shall blame it on the intense exhaustion."
"You know it's fine, right?"
"It's beneath me."
Ugh, why did you make that joke you moron?
The moment has passed, Wednesday's walls are back up.
"Wens, can I take care of you the way you took care of me?"
Wednesday pauses. Enid fears she's pushed her further away, but the raven looks like she's actually considering the question.
"I would rather do it myself, I think this would be a bit too much for me Enid."
Enid can't help but pout in disappointment. She knows it's Wednesday's right to have boundaries, she's not mad at her or anything. She just wished she could give back some of the precious affection she just received. But of course she wouldn't push.
"Yeah sure, of course. It's totally–"
"You may wash my hair, however. But please don't–"
Enid squeals in anticipation.
"...squeal. Never mind."
"Should I... unbraid them?" Enid asks, mortified as if she just spoke blasphemy.
"Yes Enid, obviously…"
Freeing Wednesday's hair is an almost spiritual experience, it's like seeing a secret facet of her roommate. With her hair down, she looks so… fragile.
"Enid. Less staring, more washing, it's getting late."
"Oh yes, yes sorry, it's just the first time I see you without your braids."
The blonde's heart is fluttering as she combs her fingers through the pitch black hair, letting it cascade low down Wednesday's back. She could swear when she started massaging her scalp, the raven leaned ever so slightly into the touch, but Enid knows better than to mention it. This moment is too precious, too delicate, to risk breaking with some silly teasing.
Enid decides to let the moment drag a bit, not removing her hand from Wednesday's hair even once she's cleaned it thoroughly. The goth probably notices, but she says nothing. After a while though, Enid decides that to keep going would be pushing it.
"I'm gonna get into my pyjamas, let you finish your shower!"
Wednesday takes ten seconds before answering.
Was she that relaxed? Cute.
"Thank you. Your cleaning of my hair was… adequate."
Admitting you liked it would kill you, wouldn't it?
* * *
While Wednesday is still in the bathroom, Enid puts on her most comfy winter pyjamas, but contrasting with the shower, she still feels very cold. She is about to grab a pink sweater from her wardrobe but a very, very bad idea comes to her mind.
Nope. No way.
She can't get it out of her mind. On Wednesday's bed, the black zip-tie hoodie she wears at night lays neatly folded.
She's gonna kill you Enid.
And yet, the scent of fresh soil, of impending night rain and of cinnamon sounds so tempting right now. A cheeky part of her can't help but think she could maybe get away with this if she makes her pleading eyes to Wednesday. So she wraps herself in the black hoodie, relishing in the familiar fragrance.
"That garment belongs to me, Sinclair."
Speak of the devil.
Enid's bravery melts somewhat when she sees her roommate's hair is still down. Now that it's dry and flowing perfectly behind her shoulders, she simply is breathtaking. Still, she holds on.
"I know, but I was freezing." She pouts.
"Don't you own a myriad of abominable, multi-coloured sweatshirts anyway?"
"I do, but yours is more comfortable… Pleaaase."
A short silence.
"Fine, you may keep it for the night."
YES! Knew it, pleading-eyes Enid for the win!
As both girls sit on their respective beds, an awkward silence settles between them, filling the room. Neither of them is ready to go to sleep yet.
Enid is swinging her legs over the edge of her bed in silence, until she remembers she's never been good with silence.
"Willa? Can I ask you something?"
"If you must." Apparently Wednesday doesn't know how to deal with the amount of proximity they have shared since The Hug™ , because her flat, dismissive answer lacks the usual grit.
"I know it might be a lot, so please feel free to not answer, okay? But could you tell me what happened before I found you?"
"I knew you would ask at some point, and knowing your feeble inclination for patience, I did not expect from you the common decency of letting me sleep before." Again, the acid answer feels forced in the raven's mouth.
"So, is that a yes or a no?"
"Fine. Nothing very interesting, really. Ms. Thornhill, who was secretly Laurel Gates had gathered organs which she used to revive Joseph Crackstone thanks to my blood. Then said pilgrim killed me, my ancestor Goody Addams revived me, shared with me the secret to kill Crackstone but Tyler was waiting outside, and that's when you arrived. Same old same old."
The Lycan's heart skips a beat.
"Said pilgrim did what ?!"
"Killed me. I was clinically dead for approximately five minutes." the goth answers flatly.
She is kidding, right?
But deep down, Enid knows she isn't. The foul smell of death was unmistakable, and it is now engraved into her mind for the rest of her life. On the one hand, she's worried sick about her roommate, but on the other hand, right now she's furious at her. Why?
"How can you say that like it's nothing? You were dead Wednesday. Dead ."
"Yes. I just told you that."
"Don't you care one bit?"
"It was a rather enjoyable experience actually. I do, however, resent Goody's intervention. Deprived of its definitive character, death is not nearly as appealing. But I take comfort in the fact that I will be able to enjoy it a second time."
Wednesday's words feel like a cold silver blade sinking right into Enid's heart. The mere idea of losing Wednesday makes her sick to her stomach, but hearing it so casually mentioned is down right infuriating.
Deep down, she cares about herself, right? She has to.
"You've gotta be kidding me. How can you say such things?"
"I do not mind. I have craved a violent, untimely demise my entire life."
Wednesday is back behind her armour, her hair down the last proof of her earlier vulnerability. Or is it? It might have escaped anyone not knowing Wednesday as Enid does, perhaps it escaped Wednesday herself, but the raven has tells. The slight twitch in her lips, the way her eyes took a split second too long to become iron clad in provocation. And that underlying tension to her seemingly flat voice, the very same Enid noticed earlier. She's now deflecting with fake death wishes, but it's her way to stay in denial about her recent trauma. Yet she mentioned the incident herself. Against her own will, she's desperate to vent. So Enid decides to apply pressure on Wednesday's walls where she knows she has sensed an opening.
"Maybe you don't mind but I do." Wednesday's pupils are dilated, she is averting Enid's eyes. This will be painful, but she needs to realise she needs help. "Do you have any idea how heartbreaking it is to hear you say that about yourself for people who care about you? After everything we've shared…"
"Oh I'm not about to shift the entire paradigm of my existence just because a needy puppy stole my hoodie, Enid." the smaller girl spits venomously.
Ouch, that one hurt really bad…
Wednesday lashing out is a terrifying sight, a storm is brewing in her eyes, she's set on a warpath, overcompensating for the sense of control she's losing. She's about to march on anyone who makes her feel vulnerable, ready to burn any relationship to the ground and salt the earth. Yet, Enid can't repress the need to close the gap between them, physically and emotionally. So, she rises from her bed and walks towards the dark side of the room, under the threatening glare of her roommate.
Now the only strategy is to be as open as possible, hoping she likes you half as much as you hope she does.
"You wanna know why I wear it? You really wanna know? Because you, my bestie, smelled of death . Do you have any idea how traumatic that is for a Lycan?! I need your scent around me to remind me of the fact that you're still alive, because, God forbid, I care about you Wednesday Addams." Enid stands a few inches from Wednesday, her eyes deep into the black gaze. "And you know what? I think that deep down you want people to care about you. You want me to care about you. But what I need, Wednesday, is for you to care about yourself. "
I weakened the walls you've trapped yourself into, now only you can tear it down and break free.
"What do you want to hear Enid?" Her shaky voice is a first, promising crack. "Do you want me to tell you how terrified I was to feel my blood slowly spill out of my body? To venture into the shadow of death to discover it was of no comfort? That with what I believed was gonna be my last thought I, Wednesday Addams, begged? I begged Enid, that's the depth of my incurable weakness. I begged internally, in a desperate attempt to postpone the cold embrace of death I have longed for my whole life. Because even though I knew–I know–Goody was right, I am going to die alone, I wanted y–I wanted someone by my side. And I didn't want to leave this world knowing you despised me, and rightfully so. For once in my life, I wanted to make amends, and yet it was too late. I'm toxic, I have pushed everyone away, and I'm terrified of dying alone."
"Yes, it is what I want to hear Wednesday. I need to know you want to stay alive, and I want you to know that you can open up to–" Enid pauses, incredulous. "Wens, are you crying?"
"Nonsense, I'm physically incapable of lacrimal secretions." Enid knows occasions like this won't happen often, she needs to tread very carefully. To someone like Wednesday who's always clad in impenetrable armour, such vulnerability must be terrifying. One misstep and she will forever retreat into an emotionless dungeon. The blonde girl kneels in front of Wednesday so they are seeing eye to eye, and she takes her softest, most comforting voice. "It's okay Willa. I won't judge you. Not now, not ever. You can cry as much as you want to."
"I don't do crying–" Wednesday attempts. But her voice breaks into a croak that wrenches Enid's heart, makes her want to burn the whole world to the ground for putting her roommate in such distress. The goth looks at her with wet eyes wide open, like a doe in the headlights. Enid knows it's risky, but Wednesday needs to feel she is safe if she's going to let go. So Enid raises her hand, very slowly, and reaches for the raven's face, letting her all the time to recoil if she feels like doing so. As she doesn't move, Enid tenderly cups her cheek. "It's okay Willa."
At that, Wednesday gives up any pretence and starts sobbing uncontrollably, fisting at her comforter in a desperate attempt to find an anchor. So Enid wraps her free arm across the smaller girl's waist, guides her so her face rests against her shoulder and gently kisses her forehead. Soon, they are sobbing together.
The position is slightly uncomfortable for Enid but she doesn't move, she's afraid if she does, she will scare Wednesday away. The raven is immobile, melted against the Lycan's body. She has stopped sobbing, but given her occasional whimpers, she is still crying quietly. With her legs folded awkwardly beneath her, Enid soon has a cramp. And as she tries to discreetly shift her weight to her other leg, Wednesday stirs.
"Oh I'm so sorry, did I startle you?"
"It's fine, don't worry." Wednesday's voice is still coarse but it is a bit more steady than earlier. "You must be exhausted, I should let you go to sleep."
Enid can't hold back a yawn. She is exhausted.
"Yeah, it's getting pretty late. You sure you're gonna be alright though?"
Please ask me to stay. Please.
"Yes, I am."
Reluctantly, Enid rises to her feet and begins walking towards her bed. Very slowly. Just in case.
"Enid…"
YES!
"Yes?" she asks calmly.
"Would you mind… if I maybe slept with you?" Her voice is so small and imploring, barely stronger than a whisper. So this is what shy Wednesday sounds like. This is positively the most adorable voice Enid has ever heard. "Just so I can make sure your injuries don't get infected during the night." she quickly adds.
"Hmm, of course."
Without another word, Wednesday crosses the room, eyes fixed on the ground, and slips under the pink comforter of Enid's bed, like it's nothing. Like Wednesday Addams surrounded with pink sheets and flashy plushies isn't the most surreal sight to see. Enid swears she will do whatever it takes to see it as many times as possible. The raven scoots to the edge of the bed, lies flat on her back and crosses her arms over her chest.
"Good night Enid." she says a bit too quickly to make for a convincing careless tone. Enid lies on her side, right next to her but without getting too close so Wednesday still has her personal space untouched. All this proximity must be overwhelming for her.
Baby steps.
Wednesday's head tilts ever so slightly so she can eye at Enid furtively. The Lycan is certain the movement would have been invisible to a human eye, but with the moon still high in the sky, she can't miss it. She can't miss her roommate's heartbeat picking up either. After minutes of Wednesday eying at her arms repeatedly, Enid decides she has to say something for both their sakes.
"You know you can come closer, right?"
"I'm sleeping."
And yet, after a few seconds of silence, the sheets shuffle next to Enid and her "sleeping" roommate's shoulder is against hers, barely touching.
Baby steps… be patient.
When Enid leans into the touch and Wednesday doesn't back away but still doesn't move closer, she decides she's had enough of being patient.
"If you want to, I don't know, take me in your arms… So I can't escape your medical vigil or whatever."
"That sounds necessary indeed."
From her voice only, Enid knows Wednesday is blushing. She doesn't say a word. The goth snuggles into her arms, nestles her face against Enid's chest, and slips an arm behind her back, holding her tight. As Enid pets the long silky, jet black hair, a muffled voice starts timidly against her chest.
"You have very commendable tastes in hoodies, it is dreadfully comfortable."
Is this her trying to make amends?
"Oh yeah? I kinda like it but I must confess… it's stolen."
A short silence. Enid gives her roommate time to process.
"I'm so–" It takes Wednesday another attempt to finish that word. "I'm sorry. I regret calling you needy. This was not fair. Black suits you by the way."
Aaaaah. Don't squeal don't squeal don't squeal.
Maybe it is Enid's turn to deflect slightly.
"Does that mean you don't regret calling me a puppy?"
"Yes it does. That you very much are, tesoro."