Chapter Text
Giyuu Tomioka met Tanjirou Kamado on a tragically beautiful day. The snow had buried the entire mountain and the wind sung a tune that whistled in his ears. Kanzaburou flew above him leading the way, something catching his companion’s attention as he gained speed and disappeared among the trees before reappearing again with a loud croak and circling an area.
Giyuu arrived at the scene to see a demon girl clawing at a young boy who was holding her back with an ax. He didn’t hesitant as he moved to strike her down but missed due to the boy's move of desperation. Gripping his rampaging sister while he tried to plead her humanity.
With tears lining his eyes, the boy begged for mercy. He begged as if Giyuu was the monster and not the thing in his hands.
The Hashira grew angry at the boy’s patheticness— At the fact that the boy reminded him so much of himself, it hurt.
He screamed and yelled, even though usually he wasn’t an individual quick to anger. He scowled and uttered the words he would’ve told the coward of his younger self.
The girl got loose and Giyuu moved to protect the idiotic boy with too big of a heart. Instead, he was met with the demon growling at him, shielding her brother behind her with widespread arms.
There was no hunger in those pink eyes but a protective rage. She had retained some portion of her humanity, Tomioka concluded with a startle.
So he spared them.
The boy yelled thanks as Giyuu walked away, his haori heavier than ever and his sword nothing more than a trinket on his hip.
He was jealous of those who belonged to themselves and to the people around them. Maybe it was because he had never truly belonged anywhere. He knew it was a common thought: people thinking they don’t belong. But when it came to him it was fact.
He was a fake.
Wandering from place to place leaving behind ruins with his presence alone. With his inability to love. Even if it was the only thing they asked of him— Even if he desperately wanted to, he could never find himself able to do it.
He wasn’t emotionless. He felt.
Of course, he felt.
He feels angry in the morning, sometimes sad— Especially on the days his crow is silent, with nowhere for him to wander next, despite knowing how selfish it was. People were suffering, while the only wound he had suffered was his mere existence.
He envied Kamado Tanjirou. He envied his love, his compassion, his eyes.
Tomioka wanted his eyes. The eyes that held some impossible internal strength, the eyes that said today was just today. That there’ll be another.
Tomioka wanted to be kind too.
Nobody laughs at him when the thought randomly wanders out of his mouth in one of the many moments he spends alone.
He wanted to say it, he wanted to scream it.
So a year later, when they looked at him asking why; when their eyes and words were stained with betrayal. He wanted to explain his jealousy, his inability, and his want. But, there was nothing. Absolutely nothing.
So. That was it.
“Tomioka-san?”
He despised Tanjirou. He hated him, he tried to convince himself.
“Yes?”
“Is everything alright? You seem off…?” The boy questioned.
He hated him.
But for some reason, Tanjirou didn’t hate him. Despite the fact it was Giyuu’s fault his family was dead.