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Dinner in the Heart Pirates’ submarine was always a lively affair – with only one table made to fit only half the crew in their cramped kitchen-cum-dining ‘hall’, it meant that arguments and accidents were commonplace. Elbows in sides, hands knocking over cups, food being splattered onto hats… it was all very chaotic, and at least three grudges were born at each meal, and ten more resolved when revenge was taken. Logic dictated that they should split their meal times, so that people could actually eat at the table without fear of creating a mortal enemy by picking off the wrong plate, but there was a very important reason why they endured this, and that was because of the Crew Meeting.
It was mostly mundane stuff – asking who needed what, what was the newest gossip, whose birthday was up next, who was the hottest; Nami or Robin, etc, etc – but every so often, important topics were touched upon, and nine times out of ten, important topics revolved around their captain’s mood. On this particular meal time (evening tea, cod was served and vinegar was the weapon of choice in ‘accidentally’ blinding a few people to steal the more choice pieces), that was the main focus of their meeting, and Shachi was the one given the dubious honour of leading it.
“So,” he began once the initial fork stabbing chaos had died down, a few drops of vinegar dripping off the peak of his hat, “The Captain’s pining.”
Everyone nodded very solemnly in response to this news (with the exception of Bepo, who was taking this brief moment of inattention to pilfer from his crewmates’ plates).
“He’s been pining for weeks,” Penguin muttered, “Have you seen him- hey! Bepo!”
“We haven’t encountered the Straw Hats in several months,” Jean Bart pointed out, ignoring Penguin and Bepo bickering on either side of him – or rather, Penguin hissing and reaching past him to uselessly paw in the polar bear’s direction, while Bepo enjoyed his spoils of war with full, open gutso. “Our paths have taken us far from each other.”
“Maybe we can hook them up with a den-den mushi,” Oli suggested, running a hand through his afro to dislodge where some thrown salt had landed on him. “Hearing Straw Hat chatter to him should cheer him up!”
“Or make him worse…” Ronaldo muttered, hunched over his plate and giving Bepo a squinty glare from the corner of his eye. So far he was keeping the polar bear at bay, his moustache twitching whenever his fellow crewmate even so much as sniffed in his direction. “What the captain needs is to have a good romp-”
“I don’t think wetting his whistle is going to make this pass,” Shachi coughed, looking distinctly uncomfortable. He had walked in on those two before, and he knew for a fact that Law’s heart – literally, in this case – belonged to Straw Hat. Of all the people in the world. His captain sure knew how to pick ‘em. “Is there any way we can arrange a meet up for them? I don’t know… we’re all heading to the same destination, there’s gotta be an island we’ll both arrive at.”
“But this is Straw Hat Luffy,” Jean Bart sighed, “He’ll only go to the most dangerous islands, won’t he?”
A heavy silence fell. This was true. If they were going to chase the Straw Hats, without their captain clocking on, they’d have to plunge balls deep into the most dangerous and crazy situations that were commonplace for the Straw Hat Crew. While life as one of the Heart Pirates wasn’t exactly boring, Shachi kind of liked, y’know, living. They didn’t match up to the monsters that made up that crew and after hearing – and seeing! – what happened to their captain in Dressrosa… no thank you!
“Some… sometimes… we must make sacrifices…” Shachi said weakly, “Uhh, hey, Ronaldo, what was your idea again? Taking him out?”
“We passed an island that had a decent nightlife.”
“Oh for-! We’re not going to throw him to those wolves!” Penguin cut in suddenly. He seemed to have given up on retrieving his (now eaten) cod, and had tuned into the conversation properly again. Almost across from him, Bepo looked attentive as well, his nose wrinkled up in thought. “All of us know that the captain’s hopelessly in love with that crazy guy. We just have to hook them up like before, even if it means… even if it means we might end up getting dragged into one of their adventures.”
“What if…” Bepo spoke up for the first time, “We meet them in the ocean.”
“What? Like before they reach an island?” Shachi couldn’t keep the disbelief out of his voice, “Unless we have some magical way of tracking them…”
But Bepo was nodding. “I can do it.”
Everyone exchanged looks, a long measured moment, before Shachi let out a loud sigh. “Well, it’s not like we’ve got any other options. Damn it, I knew him getting involved with Straw Hat was going to bite us in the ass…”
“Pssh,” Penguin scoffed, “Who was the one who won that betting pool? You were all over them hooking up.”
“Shut up!” Shachi snapped, pulling the brim of his hat down and ducking behind his collar, hoping to hide the slight pink of his cheeks. “It wasn’t my fault! They… they lured me in with the promise of a ridiculously cute romance! What did I get? Team Trouble-Magnet!”
“We have had more Marine encounters since they got together,” Oli agreed, sounding somehow fond and resigned, “Remember that time when Vice-Admiral Smoker almost managed to get onto our submarine?”
“I remember,” Penguin sniggered into his hand, “Straw Hat was completely naked too, and he came flying from his ship, right at that Marine and-”
“Stop. I don’t want to remember it,” Shachi groaned. “That was the most traumatising day of my life.” Probably Smoker’s too, now that he thought about it, but the man must be desensitised to that stuff by now. He must’ve seen Luffy’s… y’know more times than their captain, which was… kind of weird to think about.
A brief silence fell, before Ronaldo cut in with; “So, we’re hooking them up after finding Straw Hat in the middle of the ocean?”
“Yes, why not,” Shachi sighed, sounding like death could not come too soon for him. “It’s not the most impossible thing to happen on this submarine.”
Somehow, by some witchcraft that Bepo refused to explain, they actually managed to bump into the Thousand Sunny in the middle of the ocean – almost quite literally. They had resurfaced a little too closely for Shachi’s delicate heart, but no one was hurt, and it even looked like a genuine meeting of pure coincidence.
Yeah, they were good when they put their minds to it. Anything for their captain.
About five minutes later, when they had identified that the ship was indeed Thousand Sunny, and that yes, that was Monkey D. Luffy shouting over at them from the railing, looking ready to slingshot himself the few metres that separated their ships (thankfully Sanji had a firm grip on the scruff of his neck, so that disaster was potentially diverted), that the next stage of their plan was set into motion.
Penguin kicked down the door to the captain’s quarters.
Shachi had no idea if Penguin had survived his foolish heroism, but at least he succeeded in his mission: because the captain joined them on the submarine’s deck just as they managed to drift close enough for a ladder to be tossed down to them. The only downside was that he looked rather grumpy, which was the opposite of what they wanted, but Shachi was nervously hoping that a few hours with Straw Hat would change that. Or… make it worse.
“Traffy! Hey!” Luffy was lounging over the railing like some sort of rubbery cat, grinning wide and looking pleased as punch. “C’mon up! We’ve missed you!”
And Shachi could only stare in wonder when their captain looked up at Straw Hat and smiled. It was partially hidden behind his collar, but it was there, and the tension in his shoulders dropped, his fingers loosening their grip around his nodachi. Oh.
“How about you come down?” Law shot back – he sounded coy.
Straw Hat perked up, looking thoroughly intrigued – and, oh, right, because he had never been on their submarine. The only two times he came close was that one time when he fought with Vice-Admiral Smoker on the deck butt naked, but that only lasted a bare minute, if that, and the other was when he was comatose and dying. Considering Straw Hat hadn’t been lucid enough to even realise he was on a submarine back then, Shachi decided that that time didn’t count either.
“Ah, is Traffy offering a tour? Yes!” Straw Hat – completely ignoring the ladder – merely hopped over the railing. Shachi heard someone shout on the deck, out of view, but the rubberman landed safely – near their own, lowered railing, wobbled and-
Law grasped onto Straw Hat’s arm, steadying him. He didn’t let go even when Luffy regained his balance.
“Idiot.” Their captain muttered, and his voice was thoroughly and utterly fond.
Shachi, quite suddenly, felt like he was intruding.
“Hey, Captain, if Straw Hat’s getting a tour of our sub, what about us getting a tour of Sunny?” Oli piped up, and god, bless him, bless that man, and Shachi found himself nodding along with his rotund crewmate, as well as the rest of the crew sans Penguin (who was most like KIA, may he rest in pieces) and Bepo, who was looking somewhat quizzical about something.
“Yeeeah…” Shachi drew out, looking up at the ladder. “We’ve never really got to have a good look at her, and she’s a real beaut.”
“Sure,” Straw Hat said, looking sort of nonplussed that they were even asking permission. “Ask Franky, though, he knows all the best things about Sunny,” he leaned to whisper conspiratorially; “He even made a mini-submarine…!”
Okay, now Shachi was definitely interested. He didn’t know about this! “Right, it’s decided. Board the ship, men!”
And that was that – one quick climb up the ladder (that Bepo struggled with slightly), and they were on the Sunny, leaving Straw Hat and their Captain alone on deck. Their mission was complete with only one casualty. All in all, Shachi thought it was a grand success. Now then, where was Franky. He had submarines to discuss…
Penguin was fairly certain he got his arms the wrong way round. They didn’t feel quite right when he bent them at the joint, but he wasn’t sure if it was the aftereffect of horror when experiencing spontaneous dismemberment making him imagine things. Safe dismemberment, admittedly, but no matter how many times it happened, seeing his arms fly around and the entire world spinning as his head rolled across the floor still made him feel queasy.
Next time Shachi can be the one to kick the captain’s door down! ‘Delicate heart’ his ass, he’ll use his head as a battering ram, that stupid-
Penguin paused when he heard voices floating down the corridor. He recognised the captain’s, but the other one… oh, that was Straw Hat’s. Well, at least his sacrifice wasn’t in vain! They were both on the submarine…alone…
…
Speaking of, where was the rest of the crew? Oh, they escaped onto the Sunny, didn’t they? Was Penguin going to overhear something embarrassing? Was he? He wouldn’t be able to take it – happy endings in soap operas were enough to end him! His captain’s romance with Straw Hat would completely annihilate him if he so much as peeped…!
…
…
Well, he was passing that way, and… well…
Penguin continued walking down the narrow corridor. Completely forwards led to the hatch leading to the outside world, and to the left of him was the kitchen/dining room, and further beyond that the crew quarters, and to the right was the operating room… the captain’s quarters was behind him, so where were they…
He stopped near the crew quarters – directly opposite was the operating room. The voices were coming from there. Looking around himself shiftily, he took half a step closer, leaning his upper body to try and eavesdrop without really touching the door. He’d had enough body horror excitement today, and who knew what the captain would do to him if he caught him peeking on his alone time!
“…eally remember this room,” that was Straw Hat’s voice. “But at the same time, I kind of do.”
“You were awake a few times,” Captain, “Physically speaking.”
A heavy silence lapsed, and Penguin leaned away. Straw Hat spoke up, but it was too quiet for him to discern – which was oddly unexpected – and crept away. He remembered that day – starkly – of Luffy lying very still and pale, bloodstains on scrubs and the fluctuating beeps of the heart monitor. The captain had been terribly, terribly focused that day, working on Straw Hat with a single-minded, determined intensity to keep him alive.
They hadn’t questioned it then, and they didn’t now. Quite frankly, it was probably the best thing the captain ever did for himself. Why, if there was no Straw Hat… he was willing to bet that the Heart Pirates would’ve ended the day Law crashed himself against Donflamingo, and beyond that…
Well, the captain was the happiest he’d been in the long while, pining fits aside.
Penguin reached the hatch, and he frowned as he flexed his arms one more time. Okay, he was faaaairly certain that these arms were on the wrong way. He clambered up the ladder, squinting in the bright sunlight as he shouted a near-whining; “Shaaaachiiiii~”
And up above, in the glaring sunlight, he heard the dramatic bellow of; “HE LIVES!”
Yeah. He was definitely going to use him as a battering ram next time.