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Yearning.
Fogado had never thought he of all people would be the one experiencing such a feeling. It was foreign to him, just about as foreign as everything else he'd experienced since joining the fight for peace.
Perhaps he wasn’t cut out for it.
But it was odd. Fogado was always a charmer—even when he himself hadn't intended on stealing hearts, he'd be offered them on a silver platter anyways. As a prince, it was good to be well loved by the people, but getting into relationships was a whole nother hurdle.
His mother and father granted him freedom for as long as he could remember, but the one thing they had always reminded him was:
"Be careful with who you choose to pursue. People may want to use you, after all, you are the first prince of Solm. Whoever you choose to marry will share everything you have, along with the dangers of being royalty."
Fogado was cunning in his own right, he knew when people genuinely liked him and when they wanted to use him. But a majority of the time, that didn't really matter to him, because he simply could not bring himself to put anyone in a position of danger to be with him.
But Alcryst.
Alcryst was a prince, he had all the riches he could possibly want already (well...Alcryst wasn't a fan of materialistic things anyways, so wealth was of little importance to him), and knowing the guy, he was the last person that would want to manipulate Fogado.
And as for the matter of danger...Fogado hated to admit it, but the Brodian prince was probably as skilled in archery as he was, if not more, despite his claims of being useless and unskilled.
To put it shortly, Alcryst was the ideal marriage candidate.
But there was one problem.
No matter how well Alcryst fit the bill, how utterly enamored Fogado was with the prince...Alcryst did not seem to be remotely receptive to his advances. Or rather, he probably was too dense to even realize they were advances.
If Fogado asked him out for dinner, Alcryst would shyly mumble, "Oh, I'd love to...I rarely dine out with a friend ." 1 hit of emotional damage.
If Fogado put a hand around Alcryst's waist and told him he looked beautiful today, Alcryst would flush bright red and reply with, "O-Oh no...it's so kind of you to say so, but there's no way. You, however, look absolutely radiant, Prince Fogado. I'm truly honored to be your friend —but you shine so brightly this closely, I must go!" 2 hits of emotional damage.
If Fogado straight up told Alcryst he liked him, Alcryst would look so happy and reply with, "I-I really like you too...! You're my first best friend ...I really like you." 3 hits of emotional damage. Fogado didn't even know whether to laugh or cry.
What use was charm if it couldn't even attract the one person he wanted it to?
He'd have to try harder.
When Alcryst wasn't squeaking with embarrassment around Fogado, he could be rather quiet. Fogado was always the chattier one, but even then, he did value peace at times as well.
So here they were, lounging about in Alcryst's room, doing whatever they pleased in complete and comfortable silence.
The room was filled with the sounds of quill meeting paper as Fogado scritched away at his notebook, his eyebrows furrowed as he attempted to draw the best portrait he could of Alcryst.
The Brodian prince remained oblivious, huddled in the corner of his bed, his eyes trained on the parchment he had hastily placed upon his lap, determined to write...whatever, Fogado didn't know, but he'd leave him to it.
Twirling his quill, he sketched out the razor barrette in Alcryst's hair, glancing up to be sure of his art's accuracy. Indeed, he could confirm it was accurate enough.
But he couldn't tear his eyes away from his muse.
Alcryst tilted his head by a centimeter, and Fogado stared intently as he noticed a strand of hair falling over Alcryst's face. Alcryst didn't seem to notice, his lips pressed together in concentration.
Every flick of his wrist, every pause of his breath, the determined gleam in his red eyes, the soft shine of his slightly disheveled blue hair—Fogado drank in the sight as if it were the most delectable of wines.
Alcryst let out a sigh, and upon shifting his position, another strand of hair fell into his face. Before Fogado could stop himself, he moved from his place on the couch, sliding into bed beside Alcryst.
The mattress squeaked softly at the added weight, and Fogado grinned lightheartedly as he tucked the strand of hair behind Alcryst's ear. There was a distinctly sweet smell that clung to Alcryst, and Fogado could not resist the urge to lean closer, whispering into his friend's ear, "You smell sweet…it's unusual, did you change your shampoo or something, Prince Alcryst?"
Alcryst instantly jolted, his cheeks flushing bright red as he pulled his knees up to his chest, holding his ear. He turned to look at Fogado with wide eyes, looking like a deer caught in headlights. "P-Prince Fogado?!"
Fogado chuckled. He was fully aware that Alcryst was weak to such gestures. As much as it pained him to tease Alcryst, the results were extremely worth it. It was not the first time he'd done this, and it would certainly not be the last.
"Yeeees?" Fogado drew out his voice in a sing-song, laughing much more loudly as Alcryst shot him an accusatory half glare. However, the glare soon morphed to bashfulness as Alcryst rubbed his ear again, shaking his head in resignation.
"I...didn't change my shampoo." Alcryst finally mumbled, twirling the longer strand of his bangs, a nervous habit no doubt.
"Huh, I see." Fogado blinked. Although he did use this as a chance to tease Alcryst, he had been sure that the Brodian smelled a little differently than usual.
Alcryst was not the biggest fan of sweets—at least that was what Fogado had gathered from having had lunch with him numerous times. Outside of food, Alcryst didn't seem to enjoy sweet scents either. Things like perfume, flowers, or scented candles...Fogado had never seen him show any interest in them.
If anything, when Fogado had suggested that Alcryst buy a scented candle to help him sleep better, Alcryst had shot down the idea faster than he'd ever uttered an apology. It was actually crazy to witness.
His eyes finally landed on the parchment that had been discarded in their little scuffle. It was a little thicker than regular paper, and small roses were imprinted upon the borders. Alcryst's neat handwriting was scrawled out upon the thin, pink lines of the sheet, and Fogado swore his jaw dropped to the core of Elyos at that moment.
It was very obviously scented parchment. That was definitely the answer to Fogado's questions, but what was much more pressing now, was what he'd seen on that piece of paper. Before he could take a closer look, Alcryst quickly snatched up the alleged letter, folding it before he held it close to his chest.
"Did you see anything?" Alcryst wearily inquired.
"Eh? Not really, no." Which was a complete and utter lie. "What were you writing? I don't suppose you normally send rose scented letters to Brodian nobles, do you?"
It was not unusual for Alcryst to send out letters to Brodian nobles. It was part of his duty as a prince, after all. But rose scented fancy letters that even Alcryst himself wouldn't normally touch with a 10 ft pole? This definitely had to be a special someone with a special preference for Alcryst to put in this much effort just to send a letter.
"That is...um..." Alcryst held the folded letter up to hide half of his face, which was rapidly growing redder by the second, only to cringe at the sweet scent that assaulted his nostrils. Setting the letter aside (where Fogado could not reach), he twiddled with his fingers, "It's not...for a Brodian noble."
Alcryst's voice was hushed, as if he were sharing a secret, "This may be...a...love letter...or something like that. I-If I can find the courage to send it..."
Ohh, a love letter.
A love letter—?!
If Fogado were not any better at hiding his feelings, perhaps he would've passed out on the spot. Trying to hide the bitterness in his voice, he swung an arm around Alcryst's shoulder, forcing a wide grin, "A love letter? Hey man, I didn't think you had it in you! Sooo...who's the lucky recipient?"
He wondered if it sounded like he was too eager to know. Although...he was. Who could possibly be charming enough to have Alcryst's affections? Who was better than him? Why couldn't it have been him?
"Writing is...a little easier for me." Alcryst replied, "That...right now, I can't tell you. It's a secret." He glanced away for a moment, chewing his lip nervously, "But...um, when I confess, you'll be the first to know. I promise, Prince Fogado."
"Well, you always were a poet..." Fogado hummed. The prick of pain in his chest was unbearable. He was glad that he'd be the first to know, but the curiosity still ate at him. "Alright, I get it. You don't want to tell me, and I respect that...I'll wait." But against his better judgment, he added, "...But what about a hint?"
Alcryst let out a groan, but he didn't look put off. If anything, he seemed to have anticipated the question, giving Fogado's hand a light pat, "Are you really that curious, Prince Fogado?" His lips had curved into a rare, mischievous grin, as if he was laughing at some inside joke. "It's someone like you."
"—Then why not me?" Fogado blurted out. He felt his heart catch in his throat as he slapped a hand over his traitorous mouth, sliding his arm off of Alcryst's shoulder. "Wait—no, sorry, I..." His surprise at his own words had been evident as he leaned so far back, he could feel himself falling off the bed. Bracing for impact, he clenched his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut.
However, the impact never came.
Alcryst reacted swiftly, reaching for Fogado's wrist. Cold fingers grasped around warm skin, and before Fogado knew it, he'd been roughly thrown back onto the mattress, the looming figure of the Brodian prince he'd come to love hovering over him, their faces dangerously close.
"What did you mean by that?"
Fogado tilted his head to glance at anywhere but Alcryst's face. He was all too aware of Alcryst's fingers around his wrists, pinning him down. As cold as they were, if Alcryst pulled away, Fogado swore the prince's fingerprints would have remained scorched onto his skin.
They were close, too close. Splotches of heat dusted his cheeks, running its course through his body, forcing him to shift nervously as Alcryst's grip tightened. Fogado could feel Alcryst's breath fanning his lips, and the intoxicating scent of roses sent him into a daze.
Alcryst repeated his question again, his voice low, "Prince Fogado, what did you mean by that?" Fogado was always used to Alcryst's meek and gentle temperament, sometimes he forgot that the prince was indeed Brodian. This Alcryst looked to have no intention of backing down, now that he'd entered his zone.
"It was..." Fogado's breath hitched as he looked back into Alcryst's eyes. Something burned him, something about the way Alcryst looked at him made him feel...nervous. Like he was anticipating something, like he wanted something.
"It was a joke." Fogado swallowed, biting back the urge to close the distance between them. He desperately wanted to kiss Alcryst, mesh their lips against each other's til neither of them could breathe, til Alcryst could feel the searing heat that he'd elicited inside Fogado.
But instead, he smiled playfully, his tone light as he repeated, "It was just a joke."
It was so easy to tell Alcryst he liked him when they were friends. Nothing more than friends. But now…it was impossible. Fogado couldn't help but think that Alcryst had overestimated his radiance, for Fogado was a coward at heart. He couldn't even go through with his words, and because of what? A fear of rejection?
Alcryst was going to give his love letter to someone else, so hadn't Fogado already lost before he even confessed?
Fogado attempted to keep his cool as Alcryst stared at him, his sharp gaze sending a chill down the Solmic prince's spine. It was as if Alcryst was observing every twitch of his lip, every blink of his eye—if Fogado faltered in the slightest, Alcryst would know instantly he was lying.
Finally, Alcryst's expression softened, and he let go of Fogado's wrists, crawling off of him. His voice returned to its usual tone, and he pulled his hands to his chest, his eyebrows furrowed, "I see…so it was a joke…I'm sorry for hounding you like that, Prince Fogado, of course it was a joke. Someone was wonderful as you wouldn't like me like that, I am well aware."
He continued, "I'm afraid I'm not very good with jokes, I never know when to laugh. My brother has a better sense of humor than me…someone as miserable as me will only dampen your good humor."
How did it come down to this? Shouldn't it be the other way around?
"No, it's—" Fogado sat up, gesturing his hands idly as he attempted to worm his way out of whatever was going on here, "It—It was a bad joke. If anything, I was the one to dampen YOUR good humor, my bad."
Alcryst had been talking about his crush, he'd been smiling. Well, at least until Fogado went and ruined it all. "And you know…I'm not as wonderful as you think I am. You, on the wonder hand…there's a lot of people that admire you. I admire you a lot too." Admire was an understatement though. "So…don't think so badly of yourself."
Fogado smiled kindly, "I'm sure your confession will go well too."
Alcryst shifted in his seat, looking as if he wanted to get on the ground and grovel (it was a miracle he hadn't already), however he merely folded his hands in his lap, "You're starting to sound like me."
Chuckling awkwardly, he moved to grab the letter he'd been writing from off the bed, hopping off to set it on his desk, "It's only natural that I think of myself like this—I'm always like that. I'm afraid I can't help it, it's just a part of my disposition, but you…you're always shining, just like the sun.
Your confidence and forwardness is admirable to me. I like that about you. So it makes me incredibly sad to see you speak about yourself like this…" Alcryst frowned, "I'm sorry if my attitude rubbed off on you, it would be best if I didn't taint you any further. Perhaps we should stop for today."
Fogado's heart fluttered at how easily Alcryst was able to say he liked him. When had it come so easily to him? How come Fogado hadn't noticed sooner?
And yet, his admiration was misplaced. Fogado wasn't anything like what he'd described—at least, right now he wasn't. If he was truly as confident and forward as Alcryst had said, perhaps he wouldn't have swallowed his words.
"Your attitude didn't rub off on me or anything, Prince Alcryst, there's nothing to apologize for. It's probably just an off day for me." Fogado forced a laugh, getting out of bed. He made his way to the door, "Well, I still wouldn't mind spending more time with you, but…if the owner of the room wants me out, then I have no choice but to oblige!"
Before Alcryst could even correct him or deny his wording, Fogado had already left with a wave and a bright grin, "Seeya around, Prince Alcryst! Let's hang out again another time!"
Over the next few days, Fogado had attempted to be normal. Except—being normal was impossible, especially when Alcryst was always holding that damned love letter in his hands.
A love letter that wasn't for him.
When was he going to send it? Did he just want to keep it around to torture Fogado?
'Please just give that person the letter already. Tell me they love you back. Crush my hopes before they could grow any further.'
It wasn't like Fogado to not even try, but…would it be right for him to? Alcryst didn't love him. He wouldn't be happy with him. The best thing that could come out of confessing to Alcryst would be that they remain friends, the worst would be that Alcryst would be disgusted with him, and their friendship would be ruined forever.
If Alcryst knew about what kind of thoughts Fogado had had about him, how deeply he longed for him, how badly he wanted to touch him…surely, the Brodian prince would be disgusted.
He sighed, sliding a palm down his face. Each second was truly torture. How was he supposed to live like this?
That was when a voice disturbed his thoughts.
"Fogadoooo, hellooo, you there???" Pandreo waved a hand in front of Fogado's face, his expression light, yet there was a tinge of worry in his eyes, "What're you doing, spacing out in the middle of the Somniel like that?"
"Huh? Oh, Pandreo." Fogado blinked, "Hey."
"Don't "hey" me, what's gotten into you?" Pandreo's hand rested on his hip as he frowned, "I came to find you because Bunet said that you'd been acting strangely lately. Now that I've seen it with my own eyes…there's definitely gotta be something wrong. C'mon now, you can tell me."
After their last rodeo with this, Pandreo didn't especially want Fogado to dwell in his thoughts. His friend was much more sensitive than he looked, after all.
Fogado contemplated on telling Pandreo for a moment, fidgeting where he stood. Finally, he blurted out, "Did you know that Prince Alcryst was gonna give someone a love letter?"
"...Hah?"
Fogado continued to ramble, his words having finally breached the dam he'd built inside him, "He was using rose scented paper. He hates rose scented paper! Who is this person anyway, why're they so special to him—no, I mean clearly he's in love with them, but isn't it ridiculous? He wouldn't tell me who it is. Isn't it unfair? Even though I'm his best friend."
"He said it was someone like me." Fogado's cheeks puffed out into a pout, "But I'm right here? He doesn't need to date someone like me, he can just date me ! How many people out there are like me anyways!" He gasped, his eyes going wide, "D-Do you think he likes Timerra…?"
" Huh?! No—hold on a minute!" Pandreo held up a hand to stop his friend before the Solmic prince could further overthink, "I didn't know what I was expecting, but it was certainly not you sulking to me about your…crush." A sigh.
"I'm not sulking ."
"Yes you are." Pandreo snorted, "You're acting like a jealous, petulant child, my friend.” Fogado was, by nature, a very amicable person who put others above himself. To see him behaving so childishly was rare, and to see him sulk like this was almost impossible.
“I’m not–” Fogado paused, “Am I jealous…?” He knew what jealousy felt like, of course. Growing up, Fogado did have moments where he envied his sister, moments where he wanted to scream, “Hey look at me!” But it was never in a romantic context. He’d never loved anyone so deeply that he yearned for their affections to this extent. Besides from like, his mom, but he didn’t think that counted. Even back then, it wasn’t like he yearned for her affections anyways, that wasn’t the word he’d use.
But this? This was yearning.
“And here I thought you were the one in tune with your emotions…” Pandreo hummed, “It looks to me like you are jealous though.” Pandreo felt bad for his friend, but at the same time, it was no secret to everyone in the Somniel that Alcryst had a massive crush on Fogado. It was as clear as day, if Alcryst didn’t have a crush on Fogado, then the sky would be green.
So needless to say, Pandreo didn’t feel as bad as he probably should’ve. Even if Fogado dreaded the thought of Alcryst sending a letter to his beloved, that was nothing but good news to Pandreo. The beloved in question was Fogado, so it was certainly a cause for celebration. He might as well ask Bunet to cook up a celebratory feast ahead of time!
But alas, it wouldn’t do to ruin the surprise. Pandreo disliked hiding things from his friend, but just this once, he’d make an exception. Perhaps he’d even stir the pot a bit.
“But I guess even if you are jealous,” Pandreo gestured, “It wouldn’t make much of a difference to the situation at hand, not if Prince Alcryst intends on confessing his love to someone else.” He furrowed his eyebrows in thought, pretending as though he were actually thinking hard, “That’s quite unfortunate, Fogado. Will you be okay?”
“...Yeah? I’ve come to terms with it, although maybe okay would not be the right descriptor for me right now…” Fogado shook his head, “I think…with time, I’ll probably be able to accept it. I can wish for his happiness, seeing him with the person he loves. Maybe not right now, but…”
“Oh no, not that.”
“Huh?”
“I meant, like,” Pandreo gestured vaguely, “Will you even have time to get over your heartbreak and wish him happiness? The war is nearing its end. I have full faith that the Divine Dragon will lead us to victory, it is only a matter of time.” He held up a finger, “And once the war ends, we will all disperse back to our respective countries.
Prince Diamant and Prince Alcryst especially–given that the throne is currently without a king. You hardly have enough time to casually speak to Prince Alcryst, seeing as the both of you are busy training–plus, your hobbies don’t really align, so you won’t find him at any parties. Once he gets a partner, wouldn’t he have less time with you?
And once you return to your countries…I’m afraid to say this, but it’s very likely you won’t see him again for a very long time. I’m talking…years. Brodia is a whole sea away from Solm, you know, traveling there isn’t easy, especially if you are both princes.” He shrugged, “I’m sure Prince Alcryst will also be swamped with duties. With the remainder of his time, he’d surely spend it with his beloved. Would he want to meet you anymore then?”
If Fogado’s jaw could drop any lower, it’d have fallen to the core of Elyos. What Pandreo was saying did make sense. As a matter of fact, it was a very possible and real scenario. Sure, Alcryst and Fogado were good friends–best friends–right now, but would that friendship remain with time?
Fogado wanted to say yes, but if his own feelings continued to get in the way, if he remained unable to move on from Alcryst…he doubted their relationship would continue to remain the way it was now.
But most importantly–
“I don’t want a world where I can’t see Prince Alcryst anymore.”
Fogado clenched his fists, shaking his head, “Even if I keep wanting and wanting–even if I pray for an eternity that my feelings may be reciprocated, it might not be enough. But even then, I still don’t want to be without him. I don't want to give up. I want to be by Prince Alcryst’s side, always. I want to be the only person he sees. It’s the one selfish request I have to make.”
“Then you’ve made up your mind.” Pandreo crossed his arms, “Isn’t that a request you should be telling someone else? You should go while you still have the guts to say it.” Pandreo certainly did feel a little bad for putting his friend in this type of spot, but it was endearing to see Fogado make up his mind.
Fogado was someone filled to the brim with love, he loved everyone, and everyone loved him. And yet someone who loves everyone, cannot love a single person, they cannot compare others, they cannot favor a single person. Fogado was that type of person–he hated making comparisons, he loved everything and everyone. However, in that way, Fogado himself became isolated, yet not. It was jarring to see someone surrounded by so many people, yet so alone all the same.
“Yeah. Thanks Pandreo, you always know what to say.” Fogado gave him a grin and a wave as he rushed off, “I’m gonna tell him right now. No matter what happens, I’ll have no regrets. I’ll see you later!”
Seeing Fogado’s back from behind as he sought out to do what he had to, Pandreo couldn’t help but think that Fogado truly had grown up quite a bit.
“Prince Alcryst!”
Alcryst let out a squeak, his shoulders tensed up in shock at the sudden shout of his name. He nearly crumpled the letter in his hand, but made sure its condition was still pristine before he turned around, red eyes meeting brown.
“Prince Fogado…?” He breathed out a sigh. “You, um, gave me quite a scare…did you need me for something?”
Fogado glanced at the pink letter Alcryst held, before he looked back at the prince’s face, steeling himself, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I wanted to tell you something really important, and it couldn’t wait. Do you have a moment?”
Something so important that Fogado couldn’t wait another second? It must’ve been serious then.
“Of course. I was meaning to talk to you as well. There’s been something I’ve been wanting to tell you, but I’ll wait until after you’re done speaking.” Alcryst’s lips pulled up into an awkward half smile, “So…yeah. What is it?”
“I–” Fogado’s words were caught in his throat. He had steeled himself just a second ago, he was feeling so brave, and yet faced with those red eyes of Alcryst’s…it was now incredibly daunting. “It’s…about our conversation the other day. Back in your room.”
Alcryst blinked, and his cheeks dusted a light pink, no doubt at the recollection of the awkward event. “Oh, yes. I’m…terribly sorry about what happened back then. I hadn’t meant to be so forceful–I hadn’t meant to just kick you out of my room like that either. I-I’m sure it was extremely bothersome to you, so I’ll definitely make it up to you if you give me the chance…!”
Ah yes, Alcryst’s usual apologies. Fogado never tired of them, but this time, it was his turn to apologize. “No, it wasn’t your fault at all, I knew where you were coming from. I came here to…apologize. And to make a request.” He rubbed the back of his neck, “I’m sorry about what happened the other day. I didn’t make a distasteful joke, none of it was. I lied to you.”
“Huh…?”
Fogado’s eyes were averted to his feet. He wasn’t sure he wanted to see what kind of expression Alcryst was making right now, he feared that it would only make him backtrack. But he couldn’t afford to, not this time.
“You know, Prince Alcryst, you really do think too highly of me.” Fogado said, “I have times where I can’t be strong too, where I’m utterly terrified. There’s a lot of things I’m scared of. Death, losing my family, losing my friends…and rejection.” He let out a shaky breath, “From you.”
There was a pause. Fogado squeezed his eyes shut, hunched over. He didn’t know what to say next, where to go from here. He had too many things to say to Alcryst, and yet it felt as if they were all stuck in his throat, and he could not bring himself to speak them aloud. However, he tensed as he felt Alcryst’s cold fingers upon his skin.
“Prince Fogado,” Alcryst had moved his hand to Fogado’s chin, tilting his head upwards and forcing him to stand upright once more, “It’s okay to be scared…I would know. I’ve always lived with fear in my heart, but even more so now as war rages on. I don’t admire you because you are brave and strong all the time, but because you continue to be brave and strong despite your fears. The fact that you’ve come here to tell me this proves me right. So please stand tall. Speak.”
This was ironic. Alcryst was usually the timid one out of the two of them, and yet recently he’d taken on a much more forward persona. Fogado wondered if Alcryst’s attitude was to make up for Fogado’s cowardice. But that was no good, he didn’t want that.
“...Thanks. I really needed that.” Fogado nodded. He grabbed Alcryst’s hand, positioning it from his chin to his cheek. Alcryst did not move away, but he squeaked in surprise, his cheeks darkening from the gesture. Fogado’s eyes were closed for a second, as if he were savoring the sensation of Alcryst’s touch, but when he reopened them, Alcryst noticed how moist they were, as if he were on the verge of tears.
“I’m here to ask you…to reconsider sending that letter.” Here Fogado was, tearfully begging Alcryst to not confess to his beloved. He wondered if he looked pathetic right now, but he could care less about pride, not when he faced the possibility of never seeing Alcryst again.
“I have to admit that I’ve been jealous. When I asked you back then…"why not me?", I meant it. It wasn't a joke. Because if you chose to like someone else, you would have no time for me right? It frustrated me."
Alcryst's expression softened, and he brushed his thumb against Fogado's cheek, "Oh…Prince Fogado, we're…best friends aren't we? I've never had one before. I wouldn't give him—I wouldn't give you or our relationship up for the world. No matter what changes, I would always be willing to spend time with you."
"But you don't get it. I don't just want to spend time with you because I'm your best friend." Fogado nuzzled his cheek into Alcryst's palm, looking at him pleadingly. "I desperately crave your attention, I want your time—all of it. I wish you would only look at me, admire me, love me."
He knew how utterly selfish he sounded. As a prince, Fogado could have anything he wanted, but the only thing he wanted was the only thing out of his reach. It was laughable.
“P-Prince Fogado? If you say it like that, t-then…it’s almost as if you…” Alcryst was beet red, his hands trembling as he attempted to formulate a reason as to why Fogado was saying these things. He knew the implications were romantic, but could he really allow himself to think so? Would Fogado truly choose him out of all people?
And the words Fogado uttered–it shook him to the core. His heart was beating out of his chest, he swore Fogado could probably hear it. What sane person would be able to remain calm after hearing such a bold statement? Anyone’s heart would be swayed, even if just a little.
Fogado surely thought of himself as a coward, but Alcryst could never, in a million years, even imagine himself saying something so bold. Wasn’t Fogado underestimating himself here? Perhaps Alcryst truly had rubbed off on him.
“So you’ve noticed…I like you.” Fogado had been hesitant all this time, yet now that he’d said what he wanted to, words flowed from his lips as effortlessly as water rushed down a creek, “I don’t know if “like” is the word though. If I just “liked” you, I don’t think I’d feel this way.”
“What way…?”
Fogado exhaled quietly, looking into Alcryst’s eyes as if he were searching for something. An answer? A reaction? Alcryst didn’t know. However, as Fogado stared at him so warmly, Alcryst couldn’t help but notice the softer features of his face, the gentle curve of his lips, the long lashes that framed over his starry eyes–eyes that Alcryst could get lost in, he never tired of looking into them, as bad as he was with eye contact. There was uncertainty in Fogado’s features, uncharacteristic shyness, yet he looked lovely all the same.
Alcryst’s thumb had found its way to Fogado’s bottom lip, and he could feel the heat that rushed to Fogado’s face as the Solmic prince faltered, glancing away bashfully. “Hehe.”
His chuckle had caught Fogado off guard, and the prince turned back to look at him, his gaze inquisitive, “Did I do something funny?” Fogado had been wracking his brain to formulate a proper response, did he perhaps look silly to Alcryst?
“No, not at all. I just thought…” Alcryst laughed once more, his thumb brushing fondly against Fogado’s lip, “...You looked really beautiful. Sorry, please continue.”
Who was the bold one here?
Fogado was used to Alcryst’s compliments, but not like this! Did this guy know what he was doing to him? Even if Fogado got rejected now, he’d probably still treasure this moment for the rest of his life… Fogado pouted, his eyes squinted in accusation, “It’s unfair, everything you say drives me crazy…”
He squeezed Alcryst’s hand, “I like you in the way where I can’t bear to part with you. Saying goodbye after every meeting is agony. I like you in the way where your smallest comments affect me. If you praise me, I’ll think about it every day. If you’re upset with me, it’ll linger in my mind for weeks.”
“You’re able to bring me to my worst, and yet you’re able to bring out the best in me all the same. When I hear your voice, I can’t help but think that even the most beautiful of melodies could not compare. I’m enraptured by you, you make me believe that…I could love someone. That I could love someone in the way I love you .”
Fogado was a person that was full of love, but never once had he fallen in love, never once did he think he had the capability to love someone this deeply. “Now that I’ve fallen for you, I don’t think I can go back. If you were to love someone else…if we were never to speak again, I would still exist as I am, the world would not be over. It would continue on as it always had, but it would never be as beautiful to me as it was when I had you by my side.”
“...I think that’s the way that I love you.” Fogado ended, finally letting go of Alcryst’s hand.
The Brodian prince’s arm fell to his side limply as he moved his mouth wordlessly, speechless. Every word from Fogado’s lips bloomed flowers, it was so intoxicatingly sweet, he could hardly breathe. Alcryst felt as though he could run a mile effortlessly right now. He had thought to himself that it would be impossible to remain calm after Fogado had said such bold words, but after this? It was a miracle Alcryst hadn’t fainted yet.
Although he did feel lightheaded, Alcryst sought to get a grip. He couldn’t faint yet, not until he gave Fogado a proper response! “Uhm...I-I…I…” Alcryst’s world spun as he attempted to think up of something to say. What would a normal response to such a passionate confession even be? Hey, thanks man, I really appreciate it? Alcryst internally foamed at the mouth at the thought of blurting out such careless words.
Finally, he recalled what he was holding in his other hand, and he abruptly shoved the letter into Fogado’s hands, “R-read…please read it!” Certainly, it would probably be for the best that Fogado read his letter before Alcryst blurted out anything tasteless.
“Uh…okay?” Fogado curiously accepted the letter, wondering why Alcryst had given it to him. Was this some sort of cruel form of rejection? To have Fogado read Alcryst’s words of love for someone else? No, Alcryst wouldn’t do such a thing. But if so, why…?
Much to Fogado’s surprise, the letter was addressed to him. It read:
Dear Prince Fogado,
I did tell you that the first person who would know if I were to confess would be you right? I wasn’t lying. After all, this confession letter is for you. Are you surprised?
I’m sorry that I can’t confess properly with my own voice, but it seems that I have so many feelings for you, I’m afraid I would not be able to articulate them all if I was faced with your brilliance. When I look at your face, I lose my train of thought, and I grow flustered. If I confessed to you, I would no doubt only end up apologizing to you for something unrelated to the issue at hand…
However, as for my feelings, I must be blunt–I have fallen in love with you. It’s embarrassing to say, but I’ve liked you for a long time now. It’s hard to not fall in love with someone as kind and sweet as you, you know?
I understand that we are best friends, and I know that if you do not return my feelings, our relationship may not be the same anymore, but…I hope that wouldn’t be so. Please don’t keep your distance from me. I love you, not just romantically, but as a person. You make me feel as if I can become a better person just by being around you.
Whether it be as lovers or as friends, I hope to be with you forever. I’m sorry if this letter is too heavy, I’m sorry if it is unpleasant to read, but knowing Prince Fogado, I feel as though you may be delighted. If it’s presumptuous of me, then I apologize. You’ve always been the type of person to appreciate others’ feelings, even if you don’t reciprocate them, so I hope that you'll feel similarly this time around as well.
Even in a letter, I feel as though I ramble too much. Surely, you must be getting tired of reading this. I’ll try to cut it short.
I’ve fallen in love with you, every part of you. I love how bright you are, how strong you remain even when faced with the worst of circumstances. I love how caring you are, I love how hard you work. I love how you’re so different from me, how you’re always so sweet to me even though we’re so different.
You’re my best friend, and the person I cherish most, forever and always. It may be selfish of me to ask for this, and I know it’s deplorable, but when it comes to you, I become greedy. I’ve bared my feelings of love for you out in the open, so now I must ask one selfish request of you. Would it be possible for you to do the same?
Yours truly,
Alcryst
Fogado must’ve reread the letter a million times. Was he reading this correctly? Did Alcryst really love him? Their feelings were the same? So then…this was mutual? He silently stared at the letter, and then back up to Alcryst, who looked as if he were about to shrivel up into nothingness where he stood.
“Prince Alcryst.” Fogado called out.
“Y-yes!” Alcryst squeaked, his knuckles white from having clenched his fists too hard out of nervousness.
“I’m really happy right now.” Fogado buried his face into the letter, although Alcryst could see the semblance of a smile peeking out from behind the letter, “I’m…so, so happy…”
He was happy. That was…because Fogado returned his feelings, wasn’t it? It was mutual. If so, then…”You don’t have to, um…hide…” Gently grabbing hold of Fogado’s wrist, he guided it downwards, revealing Fogado’s face. “Ah,” Alcryst felt as though his heart would burst with joy as he laughed, wiping the Solmic prince’s happy tears, returning his smile with a grin of his own, “There’s nothing to hide anymore, Prince Fogado. Even if you cry, I’ll still think that you’re beautiful–mmph.”
Alcryst’s words were cut off as he felt a pair of warm lips against his own. His eyes widened in shock as he realized what had just happened, but adrenaline forced his eyes closed, and he instantly reached out to wrap his arms around Fogado’s neck, further closing the distance between them.
Alcryst had never kissed anyone before, but it came surprisingly easy to him. Their kisses first came in a flurry of short, tentative pecks. Tentativeness turned into certainty as they experimented, their lips locking for longer durations, deepening the kiss. They were left breathless, and yet they could not part for long, as if their lips were magnets drawn to each other, and Alcryst felt a buzzing inside his head, drunken warmth all over his body as he carded his fingers through his now lover’s hair.
When they had separated long enough to speak, Fogado commented in between breaths, “You’re a good kisser, Prince Alcryst.”
Alcryst’s cheeks burned, and he buried his face into Fogado’s shoulder, “I…don’t know about that. But…I think I liked it.”
“I liked it too.” Fogado wrapped an arm around Alcryst’s shoulders with his free hand, “Are you shy? I kind of want to see your face, hehe.”
“Why wouldn’t I be? You abruptly kissed me!” Alcryst huffed, his arms wrapped snugly around Fogado as he desperately shook his head. “D-don’t look at me, please…!”
Letting out a hearty laugh, Fogado patted Alcryst’s head, “Sorry, sorry. I just…you keep calling me beautiful. If you keep complimenting me…I might end up losing control. Just a kiss might not be enough, you know?”
“Eh? What does that mean?”
Fogado snickered mischievously, trailing a finger down Alcryst’s back.
“Well…would you like to find out?”
A shocked gasp. Alcryst hurriedly pulled away, looking at Fogado with wide eyes, like that of a small, cornered creature. His cheeks were flushed red, and his eyes frantically darted to the nearest exit, “Um, no, not really! I’m good! B-but on that note, I just remembered that I really have something to do, so I need to go back to my room to faint–I mean, to do work, so…!!” He quickly ran off, “I-I’m sorry, I’ll see you later, Prince Fogado!”
Seeing Alcryst’s expression in response to his tease, Fogado burst out laughing, waving his beloved goodbye, “I’ll see you later, Prince Alcryst!”
Strangely, this parting didn’t feel like agony. This time, Fogado knew with certainty that Alcryst would remain with him forever. He looked down at the letter in his hands, rereading the words again and again. Hugging the letter close to him, Fogado beamed once more, giggling to himself.
It was no longer agony, although Fogado had already begun to miss Alcryst. He wondered if this was yearning too.
Fogado had never thought he of all people would be the one experiencing such a feeling. It was foreign to him, just about as foreign as everything else he'd experienced since joining the fight for peace.
But he was starting to think that perhaps he was finally beginning to get used to it.