Chapter Text
hairband communists
14 Sep 2022 17:22
lily: what do we want for tea?
lily: I’m at tesco
Mary: I don’t mind
marls: chinese
lily: we had chinese last night
marls: chinese
lily: do we need eggs?
marls: im having chinese
lily: bully for you
lily: mary do we have eggs at home
Mary: 2.
lily: 2 cartons????
Mary: Two eggs.
lily: ok
lily: how much milk is left?
marls: im having chinese
lily: ok
marls: as in i wont be home
marls: meeting for group project at 6
marls: so will get dinner before i come back
Mary: Group project?
marls: for biomech
lily: ew
Mary: Oh ☹
marls: yeh
marls: but chinese
lily: you’re going to turn into a dim sim
marls: dim sims have no debt
marls: so that’s the plan
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marleaning tower of lisa
14 Sep 2022 21:32
lily: are you on your way yet
marls: leaving in like 2 min
marls: just sorting next meetup
lily: ok
lily: do you know how much I love you?
marls: 2 spring rolls?
lily: banana fritters for mary too please
marls: done
lily: thank you
lily: I love you
lily: I’ll transfer you
marls: love you too
marls: &cheers
marls: ok leaving now
lily: 😊
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Petunia Evans
15 Sep 2022 9:18
Petunia Evans: Hello Lily. I hope this finds you well. I am texting to inform you that Vernon and I got engaged yesterday. There will be a post on Facebook and Instagram so I thought it best to let you know. Kind Regards, Petunia and Vernon.
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Mum
15 Sep 2022 9:21
Lily: ????????????????
Lily: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mum: Petunia rang?
Lily: texted
Mum: Oh.
Mum: I asked her to call you.
Mum: He proposed here actually. In the living room. He asked me for permission while Petunia was in the loo.
Lily: so romantic
Mum: Did Pet invite you to dinner?
Lily: lol.
Lily: no she didn’t.
Mum: Vernon wants to have dinner with all the family on Saturday night. I was thinking if you wanted to come you could pop home on the train? I’ll make up your bed.
Lily: I don’t know
Mum: She’s been very excited, she probably just forgot to mention it.
Lily: can I think about it?
Mum: Of course.
Mum: Just let me know.
Lily: yep will do
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Petunia Evans
15 Sep 2022 9:46
Lily: Congratulations.
[Read 9:48am]
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marleaning tower of lisa
15 Sep 2022 9:50
lily: ?
marls: 10mins til lecture
marls: whats up?
lily: tuney is engaged
marls: WHAT
lily: last night
lily: mum asked her to call me
lily: she texted
lily: [IMG_4039]
marls: to venereal????????
lily: yup
marls: eughhhhhh
marls: god im sorry
marls: what are you doing today??
lily: have you ever heard of cornettos?
marls: never
lily: zombies?
marls: no clue
lily: west country cults?
marls: come to think of it
marls: still no
lily: ah ok
lily: will chuck out this boxset then
lily: cluttering the shelf
lily: who uses real dvds anymore anyway?
marls: i dont care if your sister is marrying human gonorrhea I will fucking gut you
lily: 😊
lily: but yes ice cream and misery and wishing i could bash in **’s face in time to queen
marls: brill
marls: anyway if youre keen on returning that lib book
marls: i finish here at 12
marls: going to lib to meet biomech group
marls: please come i need help
lily: marlene I don’t even know the definition of biomechanics
marls: well i do so no bother about that
marls: i need help not to kill them
lily: but i’m in the mood for homicide ☹
marls: and overdue fees?
lily: see you at 12
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marleaning tower of lisa
15 Sep 2022 12:08
lily: [IMG_4041]
marls: yummy
marls: <3
marls: i love cornetto
lily: pince isn’t about is she
marls: fuck hope not
marls: come thru side door
marls: we’re in hub 3
lily: fancy
lily: you booked a hub?
marls: apparently one of their mates is a pro hub booker
marls: so got one for us
lily: class
lily: see you soon
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Follow requests
When people ask to follow you, you’ll see their requests here.
siriusoblack has requested to follow you. 1h
james.pot has requested to follow you. 1h
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Notifications
siriusoblack is now following you. 3m
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sirius 🌟
15 SEP AT 18:12
sirius 🌟: evans
sirius 🌟: why did you reject jamesy’s follow req
lily: ?
sirius 🌟: well i noticed you let me follow
sirius 🌟: and req’d me
sirius 🌟: so i told him
sirius 🌟: and he got all excited
sirius 🌟: and then…
sirius 🌟: nada
sirius 🌟: zero
sirius 🌟: zilch
lily: have you ever been accused of spam?
sirius 🌟: evans 🥺
lily: I’m under no obligation to let him follow
lily: I met you guys for like 5mins today
sirius 🌟: we spent at least ten minutes talking about cornettos
sirius 🌟: but ok
lily: don’t be weird about it
lily: it’s weird
sirius 🌟: sorry evs
lily: look
lily: I know he’s your friend and all
lily: but I just didn’t vibe with him today ok?
sirius 🌟: ik he made some weird jokes
sirius 🌟: he gets awkward
lily: look I have a lot going on right now
lily: and I don’t want him being an arse and DMing me or something
lily: and if you’re going to be weird about it you’re getting blocked
lily: sorry to be the megabitch or whatever
sirius 🌟: nah ur not
sirius 🌟: i’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable
lily: no its fine
lily: i don’t want to make a big deal or anything
lily: honestly its fine and you guys are working with marlene so its like yeh whatever
lily: just
sirius 🌟: nah its cool
sirius 🌟: you dont have to explain
lily: thanks
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how does your garden grow?
15 Sep 2022 18:49
lily: hey mar
lily: are you stopping before you come home?
Mary: Yes 😊 I’m going to go to Tesco when this is done.
Mary: Is it just what’s on the list?
lily: can I be a really really awful annoying pain and ask for a wine?
lily: I’m sorry I feel like all I’ve been doing this term is nagging you and marls
lily: I’ll be way better soon I’m just in a mood
Mary: No don’t feel bad at all. It’s honestly been fine 💓
Mary: And I’ll add wine to the list.
Mary: Do you want to talk when I get home?
lily: I’ve got a mountain of coursework
lily: but yes please?
lily: if it’s not a bother
Mary: Not at all!
Mary: I can never get work done after church anyway so really don’t worry
lily: I’ll make it up
Mary: That’s not what it’s about
Mary: I’ll see you when I get home
lily: ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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hairband communists
16 Sep 2022 7:45
Mary: Morning guys 😊 My lecture is about to start but I cut up some fruit this morning and covered it in the fridge, you’re welcome to have some because I won’t eat it all. I should be back around 10 if you will be around then
marls: thx
marls: ydoyouhavealecturethisearly
marls: its2early2evenusespaces
Mary: I find I’m most productive in the morning
lily: thank you for the fruit mar ❤️
lily: not sure if I’ll be here
lily: haven’t decided whether or not to go home for tuney’s dinner
Mary: ☹ That’s fair
Mary: Have you checked the trains yet?
lily: I will in a min
Mary: To Cokeworth right?
lily: yes
lily: wait no
Mary: [IMG_1357]
lily: Mary you don’t have to look it up
lily: oh
lily: thank you
Mary: It’s not a problem 😊
lily: last I can leave to get there at a reasonable time is 1:36
lily: will need to bus it to the station though
lily: and pack ☹
marls: soyouvegot hours to decide
lily: did it suddenly get late enough to use spaces in the middle of that sentence?
marls: maybe
lily: I don’t know what to do
lily: like I am happy that she’s happy
lily: even if I think he’s an arse
lily: I’m just upset that Mum had to tell her to let me know, like if I’d been the one getting engaged I would’ve told her right away
lily: and she texted??
lily: but I mean it’s not like we’re close anymore
lily: I’m probably overthinking it
lily: but what if I go home and go to this dinner and she didn’t actually want me there?
Mary: Well she’s all about doing things properly isn’t she?
Mary: Won’t it look more odd if her only sister isn’t there?
lily: yes but she could’ve just said that I’m off at uni and nobody would blink
Mary: Your mum asked you to go, so she at least wants you there
marls: and if you go itll piss syphilis right off
marls: always a bonus
lily: I just hate that it’s like this
lily: I didn’t want my coming to uni to cause this massive rift
marls: its not your fault lils
marls: she didn’t get the marks and you did
marls: and you earned being here
lily: she tried really hard though
lily: she just has more trouble than I do. It’s genetic lottery, not that I did more or anything.
Mary: I don’t think that’s right. Yes maybe you’re clever by nature but I see how much work you put in too.
Mary: My lecture is about to start but I think if you want to go you should. You won’t get the chance for a do-over. And you won’t be missing anything here.
Mary: Besides it’ll be nice to go home and see your mum, won’t it?
marls: we are legit like 2 weeks into term
marls: theres not been enough time to miss anyone
lily: yeah well
lily: i don’t know
marls: look at it this way
marls: homecooked meals
marls: for FREE
marls: and i bet gonnorhea will pay for fancy dinner
lily: yes but I have to pay for the train ticket
lily: have you SEEN how bloody expensive it is?
marls: make herpes reimburse you
lily: 🤔
lily: …I guess if I get there and don’t want to go I can just lie around and get some work done
marls: loser
marls: but yes
lily: right
lily: well I’m having breakfast
lily: want me to bring you up some fruit marls?
marls: i am morally opposed to fruit
marls: its a tory affectation
marls: i will have toast. food of the working class average brexit geezer
lily: you’re never to take a politics elective again
lily: toast it is
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Mum
16 Sep 2022 8:51
Lily: Hey Mum. If it’s alright with you I’m going to come home for Petunia’s dinner. Looking at train tickets I can get in at about 3:30?
Mum: That sounds good love. I’m glad you’re coming. I spoke to Petunia and Vernon last night and Vernon said he’s happy to pay for your tickets if you decide to come home. They do really want all the family here. It’s so important to Petunia.
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marleaning tower of lisa
16 Sep 2022 8:55
lily: [IMG_4046]
lily: so important that she couldn’t be bothered asking me herself!
marls: knew hed comp you
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Mum
16 Sep 2022 8:56
Lily: that’s nice of him.
Mum: He does want to make an effort. I’m sure he feels bad about how things went last time.
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marleaning tower of lisa
16 Sep 2022 8:57
lily: [IMG_4047]
lily: has he cast a spell on her?????
marls: please
marls: hes probs scared of dnd bc its demonic
lily: I don’t know why everyone thinks he’s so great
lily: it’s fucking frustrating
marls: hes a cock
marls: literal venereal disease
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Mum
16 Sep 2022 8:57
Lily: well I would hope he feels bad.
Mum: Maybe you can patch things up?
Mum: I’ll make up your bed for you. Do you need to be picked up?
Lily: it’s fine I don’t have much, I can bus it. Thanks though.
Mum: If you’re sure.
Mum: I could send Petunia? I’ll be at work but she should be around.
Lily: don’t worry about it honestly.
Lily: I’ll see you tonight
Mum: Alright, travel safe. Love you 😘😘
Lily: love you, thanks Mum