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Rain couldn’t take his eyes off of the mirror in front of him. His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest, and he vaguely registered that there were tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He traced his fingers across the fabric covering his torso again before twisting his hips to watch the garment flow around his thighs.
He didn’t know whose dress it was- if he had to guess he would say it belonged to Sunshine- and he wasn’t entirely sure how it had ended up in his laundry. None of that mattered. The point remained that it had been there. He had put it on as a joke, planning to walk into the common room and give everyone a good laugh. Things changed the second he saw himself in the full length mirror next to his dresser.
The light lavender that started at the thick straps of the garment bled down into a deep indigo that landed a little over halfway down his thighs. The colors complimented his grayish-blue skin, his white freckles standing out along his bare arms, like it was picked just for him. He could have believed that if it wasn’t for the fact that the dress was too big: the straps not wanting to stay in place and the chest drooping with nothing to fill it out. It held his attention all the same.
It brought up a thought he had toyed with before, but tried not to pay much attention to.
Sometimes he would look too long at one of the ghoulettes, and sure, it was partly because they were all gorgeous and he couldn’t get enough. Some days it was because just looking at them had his thoughts taking a much more sinful path. It was a blessing from Lucifer himself that whatever ghoulette had caught his eye was happy to indulge him.
But sometimes he wondered if maybe there was something else. Maybe he couldn’t help but be jealous of the way their clothes hugged their curves. Of the different patterns and colors that always brought out their eyes. The perfect winged eyeliner Cirrus always wore and the highlight shimmering across Cumulus’s cheekbones and the tip of her nose. Maybe he wondered what he would look like. Whether or not he would finally be comfortable in his own skin if he was able to dress that way.
He couldn’t follow that train of thought, of course, knowing where it would lead.
What if it’s not just the clothes? What if it’s not just the makeup? What if there’s something else I’m not accepting? I know I’m not a woman, but there are other options and what if-
Truth be told, he didn’t want to entertain the thoughts because he was worried they might be right. Which is why this had all been a huge mistake. He should have never put on that damned dress.
Twirling one last time, he shook his head, turning around and stalking back over to his bed. He was spiraling now and a majority of his brain was screaming at him to take the dress off and never look back at this moment. Pretend it never happened. And that’s exactly what he was going to do.
That is, until he heard the door open to his right, Mountain’s voice flowing into the room. “Hey, babe, we’re about to watch- Oh.”
Rain spun towards the door, the blood draining from his face while he grabbed a blanket from his nest, covering himself as quickly as he could. “Mount, what the hell?! Don’t you ever knock?!”
No, he didn’t. None of them did. Their rooms were shared spaces, and as long as the doors weren’t locked, any of them were allowed to come and go as they pleased. Rain could have sworn he locked the door.
“I’m sorry,” Mountain said immediately, holding his hands up defensively. “The door wasn’t locked. I didn’t mean to intrude.”
Rain let out a sigh, feeling guilty for snapping. He knew his partner wouldn’t have done something like that on purpose. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… I thought I locked the door. Just lock it on your way out, please.”
He looked down at the floor in front of him, tightening the blanket around him. The humiliation settling in his stomach was uncomfortable and almost made him feel nauseous.
“My way out?” Mountain asked slowly, taking a few cautious steps towards the smaller ghoul.
Tears burned in Rain’s eyes again, this time for a completely different reason. He really shouldn’t have put on that damned dress. The first tear slipped down onto his cheek and Rain turned his face away, wishing he could disappear completely. “Mount, please, just leave. I don’t… I know you saw it, okay, so just leave and for the love of Satan, please don’t tell anyone else, they’ll never-”
“Hey, hey, Tadpole, it’s okay,” Mountain soothed when the water ghoul started rambling and he just barely saw the tears starting to flow down his face. He moved faster now, crossing the room in a few strides to gently cup Rain’s face in both hands. He guided his face back into view, wiping tears away as they fell. Rain’s eyes were squeezed closed so tight Mountain was sure it had to hurt. The sight made his chest ache. “Why don’t you want me to see you?”
Rain just shook his head, letting out a small, cut off sob in between quick and shallow breaths.
“Rain,” the taller ghoul said, his tone a little more insistent but not quite demanding. He pressed a kiss to Rain’s forehead, following it up with another one below each eye, kissing at least a few of the tears away. “You don’t have to hide from me. Please, let me see?”
There was another sob as Rain held on to the blanket for dear life, holding it like a shield between him and Mountain. “I put it on as a joke. I didn’t think I’d… It was stupid. So, so stupid.”
“Please, do not insult my partner,” Mountain chided softly, running a hand over Rain’s curls. “You’re not stupid. You’re beautiful, and you’re allowed to wear whatever you want to make you feel that way.”
There was a short pause in the heavy, panicked breathing before Rain spoke, his voice no more than a breath that ghosted over the front of Mountain’s neck. “Beautiful?”
Pulling back to look into his eyes, happy to see that they were open this time, the earth ghoul nodded. The smile on his lips was pure love and adoration and he noticed Rain’s grip on the blanket loosen slightly. “Yes, Tadpole . I tell you that all the time.”
“I know, but…” Rain paused, looking deep into Mountain’s eyes, trying to find any evidence that he was lying. “Even in a dress ?”
Mountain chuckled, but it wasn’t malicious. It was sweet and melodic, his voice dripping with honey. “Especially in a dress. Mind you, I only got a quick look. I’d love to see more.”
It took almost a minute, both of them standing in silence while the water ghoul clearly had some sort of internal debate. Mountain didn’t push him. He waited until Rain moved the blanket away himself, letting it fall to his feet while he looked down and locked his eyes on the floor.
Mountain took a step back, his breath catching as he took in the beauty that was his partner. “Rainy…” he breathed, walking around him to get a complete look. He noticed Rain gripping and smoothing the fabric repeatedly, clearly anxious. “ Gorgeous. ”
“Really?” Rain asked, his voice still low but Mountain could hear that there was less shame coating his words now.
“Are you kidding?” Taking the other’s hand in his own, he turned him and urged him back over to the mirror, standing Rain in front of him, facing his reflection. “Look at yourself. So pretty, Rain. Absolutely stunning.”
Rain’s face started to heat up as a soft lilac blush spread down across his cheeks. He leaned back into Mountain as the taller ghoul wrapped his arms around his waist, the relief that was washing over him making it nearly impossible to hold himself up. Pretty. Mountain thought he was pretty.
“It’s a little big-” Rain commented, fixing the strap that had fallen down his shoulder again.
“Then we’ll get you one that fits,” Mountain shrugged as if it was the easiest, most obvious solution in the world. Rain supposed it was, but he still hadn’t expected it.
“We will?” The earth ghoul nodded, squeezing his waist before pulling back and turning Rain around to face him. The water ghoul let out a happy trill, smiling as Mountain hooked a finger under his chin and held his gaze.
“Before we do, though,” he started, letting his other hand trail across Rain’s back. “Is there anything you need to tell me, love? Or is the dress just a dress? Either way, know you have my full support.”
Rain’s smile faltered, his stomach twisting nervously while he thought of what to say.
“I think… It’s not just the dress. I want to see how I feel using they/them pronouns.” Instant regret flooded through Rain’s mind the second the words were out into the universe. Not because what was said was wrong. In fact, now that it was said out loud, it made a lot of sense. Still, Rain couldn’t help but rush to speak again before Mountain had a chance. “But you don’t have to. He/him is still okay and you don’t have to change anything and you can just forget what I said and-”
“Breathe, Tadpole,” Mountain interrupted. “You don’t have to lie. I’m not going to be upset with you. None of us will be. If this is who you are, we’re all going to support you. No matter what.”
Rain did their best to take a deep breath, but it hitched in their throat and caused them to hiccup. They groaned softly, hiding their face in Mountain’s chest. “What if I’m wrong?”
“Then you’re wrong. It happens. Do you think you’re wrong?” He felt Rain shake their head, but there was a shrug along with it. He huffed a laugh at their indecisiveness before moving both hands to their shoulders and pushing them back gently. “Okay. Close your eyes.”
Rain raised an eyebrow, confused, but did it anyways a second later. “What are we doing?”
“Role playing. Not the sexy kind.” Rain laughed at that, and Mountain felt a warmth spread through his entire being at the sound. “Just go with it, okay?”
Nodding, Rain tucked their hands behind their back, folding them together and waiting for whatever Mountain had in mind.
“Oh, hello, imaginary stranger,” the earth ghoul started, prompting another laugh. “Let me introduce my partner. Their name is Rain. They play bass in the band Ghost, and they’re absolutely phenomenal at it.”
The more he spoke, the wider Rain’s smile got, and all he could do was smile back and keep going. “We all love them so much, and I hope they know that. They look positively stunning in a dress, by the way. Seriously, you should see them. Everyone should. They’re gorgeous. And they have the prettiest smile-”
Without giving him a chance to finish, Rain opened their eyes, launching themself at their partner and wrapping their arms around his waist. Mountain returned the hug, of course, smiling into their hair. He thought he felt them say something against his chest, but he couldn’t make it out. “What was that, love?”
Rain pulled back, their eyes crinkling at the corners as they smiled brightly up at him. “Thank you.”
Pulling them back into the hug, Mountain hummed softly. “No need to thank me, but you’re welcome all the same.”
They stayed like that for a while, Mountain not daring to pull back before Rain was ready. When they finally did, they looked up at him with a new wave of worry spreading across their features. “I guess I need to go tell everyone else, huh?”
“Only if you’re ready,” the earth ghoul shrugged, tucking hair behind one of Rain’s horns. “I’m positive they’ll all be supportive, but I’ll still be right beside you whenever you want to tell them.”
Rain nodded, taking a deep breath and grabbing Mountain’s hand. “I’m ready. Do, uh…” They paused, looking down at their outfit and shuffling their feet. “Do you think I need to change first?”
“Absolutely not,” Mountain said immediately with a sharp shake of his head, the urgency of it making Rain bark another laugh. He smiled in return while he continued. “Change if you want, Tadpole. It’s your choice; but I was serious when I said that everyone should see you like this.”
Gnawing on their bottom lip, a fang peaking out on one side, Rain smoothed their free hand over the dress, weighing their options. Finally, they gave a quick, sure nod, smiling at the other ghoul. “Let’s do… No fucking way! ”
Mountain startled, eyebrows synching together. “What’s wrong?”
The worry was clear on his face, but Rain shook their head, taking their hand away from Mountain’s and shoving both hands into the sides of the dress with a wide smile. “It has
pockets!
”