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During the warm summer days of Highbright, a caramel scent lingers in the air surrounding Castle Candy during the hottest hours, from when the hot sun batters against the sugary bricks. While the heat is still a awy off in Bloomdusk, there are faint whisps of caramel wind in the royal Candian gardens. Those who long for summer pass by there and assure themselves that another year will bloom, that the cold will forfeit its grip on the land once more. Between carefully cut bushes and precisely picked flowers, there has a young peppermint and bottle of milk chosen to spend their Bulbday. They trade in skills and sights of their native countries, like they often like to do.
"Oh, that is quite endearing." Milk sloshes as Primsy leans closer against the sweet garden dirt. The sun reflects off of her and she glistens likewise with anticipation as she turns to Liam. "Now that the seed is all snug under the earth, how long does it take to become a bush?"
Liam pats the dirt mound a couple of times. "Well, marshmallow bushes grow pretty quickly, even if they're best left to mature a bit longer. Fluffier that way, you know?"
"Well I did not not in fact know, but I am glad to hear the process is quick. Annabelle's ship is expected sometime next week, so I will get to show off the product of our hard work then." Her eyes drifts away past the castle walls, in the direction of the Dulcington harbor. The ship would only rest a day before continuing off to the Dairy Island. Liam knew Primsy missed Annabelle, but there was business that she had to take care off before going back home, or so she said. Liam was glad for her company.
Perhaps he had spoken a bit to loosely, calling it a "quick" process. "Ah, actually… Probably more like ready to show off at Glutendawn?"
"Oh dear! And that is quick, that is?"
Liam clapped his hands together, clearing sway as much grime as he could. "Relatively. I might be able to get some honeyweed that would grow visibly until next week, but otherwise this is about as good as it gets." Liam let out a mellow snort. "Seeds aren't really something to count on when you're on a time-crunch, I've noticed. It's more of a 'give much and get little' sort of deal. Or, 'useless when you really need it' sort of deal, maybe."
A bout of silence followed his words, and Liam noticed how Primsy had turned to look at him fully, having dropped the playful air.
"Is something wrong?" he quickly asked, quickly looking over his shoulder and feeling the assurance of the quiver's weight on his back just in case .
Primsy grimaced. "I do think it is."
Liam didn't untense, although he got the feeling he wasn't being attacked. Rather, this seemed the like a change of subject. The instinct to run away grew stronger yet. The urge to hide, so that only Liam could be on the offensive, see everything without risk of harm. Like an irritable itch, the suggestion tugged at his fingers. He pushed it away.
"Is something wrong… with you?" he specified, slowly weaving together a picture of the situation.
She sighed, not unsympathetically. "I am doing perfectly well, although I do feel a bit of concern. Liam, do you not… enjoy gardening? Nature, hiking, seeds- those are all things you hold a true interest of, is it not so?"
Okay, now he had to scrunch his eyebrows in thought. "Is there something wrong with that?" Never before had Primsy thought to look down for him for his interests, as Liam could confirm by having just planted a marshmallow bush together a mere moment ago.
"I do not think so."
"Then what…?"
"Do you think there is something wrong with it?"
"I don't really understand what's going on, now. Is this a metaphor for something? Are you mad at me?"
"No, no, I will put it more clearly." She gathered her words for a moment. "I get the feeling you look down upon your craft. This craft," she reaches down and gives the earth a tentative pat, right where Liam had done the same. "I think it's charming, but it sounded like you were stripping it of merit."
The pieces clicked. "Oh! Because of- no, I didn't mean it that way. I'm a seed guy, obviously I think this is cool." He felt a smattering of seeds in his pockets, letting the delicate life roll between his fingers, as well as the arrows on his back. "But you need more than just seeds. You just can't rely on them when danger comes, right? But they're still nice. I like them."
The milk sloshes back and forth, but Primsy still doesn't say anything, and suddenly something is forming at the back of his throat and Liam has to continue talking. He will not let his words rest in silence, because then they will be seen, and being seen is an unacceptable vulnerability.
Liam twists, grabbing onto the first other plant he can reach in the Candian garden. A cocoak, as it happens. He runs his fingers along the bark and snatches a leaf from over his head. "It's nice. I like it . Nature is so cool!" he reassures, he has to reassure it. "I have always thought that, even back at Castle Manylicks where no one but Preston shared my interest. Even if his favourite part was eating the plants that I found, and not so much the treks to go get them. He had some real small legs…" his eyes haze in sweet memories. "Nothing could stop us from doing what we loved. You know, the very first heartseed I found was directly after our first ambush on our way to Comida. After that…" he crushes the leaf in his hand, and the sickly squelsh of chocolade takes him back to the Cathedral. Sounding exactly like that day, when they were sent running down the streets. Liam had felt bare without the four-legged figure at his side. He had felt empty. He had felt hunger .
Liams breath hitches. "Sometimes you can't always play around! Sometimes an adventure to a lingerie shop is not what it seems, and you should have noticed that before it was too late."
Primsy's voice is an equal mix of confusion, sympathy, and concern. "What?"
"Nothing! It's nothing. But sometimes I need more than nothing. More than seeds and being powerless in the face of the world." His fingers shake, and the movement sends shadows twisting behind him. Liam sees it in the corner of his eyes and barely keeps himself from flinching.
Liam has to breathe. He has to calm himself. He throws himself at the ground and presses himself against the security of the sturdy cocoak. It would protect his back, just in case. Liam notes Primsy approaching, of course he does, but a fresh smell tickles his nose before he can process what has been placed before him. A singular mint rose.
Primsy takes care to speak slowly and cautiously. "Mint was it, wasn't it? You found it calming?"
Liam breathes it in. He relaxes. "Yeah. Sorry if I was putting you off. My brothers say it's scary when I do that."
Primsy settles down in the grass in front of him, although with much less force as though to protect her glassy head. She shrugs. "War is scary. I was scared when my sweetheart tried to slit my throat on my wedding day. The people who can kill your friends, they are scary. Surviving is frightening."
Liam swallows, and lets his face hide in his knees. "I had to be scary to survive and now I don't know to make it go away."
"Comida wasn't built in a day. It's a journey." Her voice sounds so sure that Liam wants to agree, but he can't do so with a clear conscience.
He shakes his head. "Sure, but I haven't even taken the first step! I don't want to change." He doesn't look her in the eyes. "I am still waiting for another battle to break out, another back to be stabbed. And I want to be ready then. I want to be more than ready. Being a seed guy won't be enough, even if I would like to be."
"Oh…" Primsy sounded sad, like Liam thought she would be. Rightfully so. He was practically hoping for conflict, the very same conflict that had brought death before their eyes and ruin to their families. Anticipation ran through his veins at every loud noice, building and building. Sometimes he found himself wishing for release, even if that meant a battle. That's fucked up, no matter how you looked at it, right? "Is that why you haven't been spending much time in gardens as of late?"
"I think so. I don't know… I feel guilty when I pass by and think to stay. Like I'm letting everyone down. It wouldn't be productive. I wouldn't do enough."
"That is rational," Primsy begins, and it is a blow to Liam's chest, a wounding confirmation, before she continues. "When you have the weight of the world upon your shoulders, you wouldn't quite know how to balance when it disappears."
The words find a place in his heart, enough that he has to add on a whisper of vulnerable truth. "Lately, I've noticed I can only sit still when I'm hunting something."
She gives a smile of understanding. "I have to examine every kind word sent my way, for I fear it is a trick on my expense."
A soft giggle bubbles in him, at the strange joy of not having lived through this misery alone. "That's fucked up."
"Very much so! And I can not rightfully promise that our lives will be, let us say un-fucked up, forever. I can't say how long this peace or safety will last."
"How do you cope with that?" Liam asks.
Primsy waves her hand. "We're here now, and I guess… I try to take it at face value. Your warnings about Stilton didn't prepare me for the attack, so I might as well enjoy being relaxed if it all ends up the same."
Liam hums. "I guess I lived even though I never felt ready for anything. But if I can change something… I won't be able to stand down."
"Carry your crossbow with you if that is what makes you feel safe, but don't lose sight of what we have now in the fear of tomorrow. You would be protecting nothing, if you don't live too." It's not a reprimand, and yet it stings Liam with the scalding knowledge of what he is doing. Moreso, what he is not doing.
A last, desperate plea builds on his tongue. The need to convince her that he had come out wrong muddles his mind and turns his tongue. "I am different now. This has changed me, and I can't go back."
She nodded, not denying it, but not denouncing him either. "We all changed, haven't we? We have grown to be more capable. Even without the war, we would have changed." A memory sparks in her eyes. "I did see you shit in that corridor that one time, and that changed me a bit to be quite frank."
"Uh, sorry?"
"Don't fret it. They don't lie, it does create strong bonds."
Liam laughed, heartily. When his hand found Primsy's and squeezed gently, he looked everywhere but her. Just so, the mint rose was within his sight again.
"They didn't grow mint roses in this garden before," Liam remembered.
"Perhaps Lady Jawbreaker left some behind during her trip here? After the coronation?"
Liam blinked. "It has already had time to bloom."
She pulled the pot closer so it sat right in-between them. "Well, it has been a while."
"It has," he repeated, only realising the truth of the words as he said them out loud. And they're still alive. Even though they were so frail.
The locket of the sweetest was emanating a steady glow from his neck.
Primsy was here, leaned against the tree with him. Toirtoiseshell dances of light and shadow seeped through the branches as they moved in the breeze. One second, they were illuminated, and the next in the shade. As the sun had moved over the sky, the rays bathed them steadily in the last light of the day. Sweet pollen fell on his nose.
There were always going to be shadows for him to escape to, if need be. But maybe, for now, he was satisfied with being in the light.