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It was well after midnight when Mikey woke by nature’s urgings. The sleepy sea green terrapin blinked into darkness and tried to pry his mate’s arms away from himself. Raphael was like an octopus at night, an octopus that had a bad habit of kicking and could probably wake up people living in Jersey with his snoring. Mikey struggled to break free, however, Raph simply glomped him tighter, tangled their legs further and nuzzled the back of his head. Mikey’s continued escape attempts were proving futile and eventually Mike was forced to admit defeat.
“Raphie, let me go. I have to use the bathroom.”
Raph grunted at the whispered request and slowly retracted his arms enough for Mike to slip out of his hold. Once free, the younger ninja pressed a chaste kiss to his mate’s temple and promised he’d be right back. Silently, he left their shared bedroom and padded down the hallway to the bathroom. After he finished and washed his hands, he decided he needed a glass of water before returning to Raph’s crushing embrace.
Mikey hummed quietly to himself and passed Leo’s and Donnie’s shared bedroom on his way to the kitchen. As he passed their door, a foreign wave of sadness washed over him and he paused before retracing his steps. The blue eyed turtle stopped next to the door and listened. Even while straining his ears, he didn’t hear anything happening inside, but his gut told him something was indeed very wrong. Mike knocked softly and let himself into the bedroom when he didn't receive an invitation.
It took his eyes several moments to adjust to this new level of darkness, but when they finally focused, he could see the silhouette of one of his brothers sitting up in bed. His head was hung low and his shoulders shook. From the shape of the turtle’s head and curve of his shell, Mikey identified Leo. The youngest mutant frowned and cleared his throat, so his older brother would know he had company. Leo’s head snapped up to see Mikey standing in the doorway. Leo remained silent. He was probably embarrassed he hadn’t heard Mike enter and was likely mentally reprimanding himself about constant vigilance.
“Ani?” Mikey called softly and approached the bed. “You okay, dude?”
Leo’s beak trembled, and his eyes scrunched close before he shook his head, a distressing sob catching in his throat. The nunchuck master moved to sit next to him on the bed, but before his tail even made contact with the mattress, the older turtle whimpered and grabbed for the smaller, crushing him to his plastron in a hug that could rival the strength of Raphael’s cuddles.
Mikey squeaked at the sudden displacement then quickly embraced his brother back. It was obvious Leo was in need of comfort, so Mikey stroked his upper shell scutes gently. He hoped the soft petting would be soothing and help ground Leo. As the larger turtle shuddered against him, the nunchuck master wished for his oldest brother that Don had been there when Leo woke up. Whenever Mikey had nightmares, his mate's presence made everything so much better.
It wasn’t hard to guess the reason for Don’s absence. He was known for falling asleep in his lab when he was close to finishing an experiment or got caught up with improving the security system or one of his many inventions. Mike’s eye ridges furrowed and he wondered how often that happened. He felt a sudden surge of sympathy for the eldest. Mikey would hate not getting to sleep in Raph’s arms every night – even if the red masked turtle was an octopus.
“I made the wrong call,” Leo sobbed quietly.
A perplexed expression contorted Mikey’s face and he didn't delay voicing his confusion. “What are you talking about? Who would you be calling after 2:00 in the morning, Leo?”
Leo ignored the question and cried, “You were dead . You, and Raphie and-and D-Donnie. All dead. My fault. It was all my fault.”
Ah. Mike understood now. It was one of those nightmares.
“Leo, look at me,” Mikey pulled away so he could tip Leo’s chin up, forcing their eyes to meet. “Last time I checked, I’m still alive, dude. And I just left Raph snoring like a foghorn in our bedroom – if you strain your ears you can probably hear him. I’m sure Don’s sleeping in his lab with his face stuck to his computer keyboard. Nobody’s dead. Everything’s fine, Aniki.”
Hazel eyes shimmered and he shook his head stubbornly. Fat tears oozed out of the corners of his eyes and trailed down his cheeks as the katana master whimpered, “It was my fault. All my fault. I- I failed.”
“You didn’t fail, Leo. It was just a nightmare. Everyone is safe,” Mikey tried to placate again.
“It felt so real.” Leo hiccupped pitifully.
Mikey gently pressed on the back of the older turtle’s head until his forehead was resting against Mikey’s left shoulder. Leo’s shell was shaking as he continued to weep and the smaller turtle felt his heart breaking for his brother. There was so much responsibility weighing on Leonardo, and he knew how afraid his brother was of failing the team. It wasn't a surprise those fears leaked into his dreams at night.
Leo was kind of like the Greek Titan, Atlas. He was forced to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders at such a young age, just like how Atlas was condemned to holding up the sky for eternity. Mikey just hoped Leo wouldn't buckle under the intense pressure. He hoped when it got to be too much his leader would reach out to them for comfort and support.
“I know, but it wasn’t real,” Mikey soothed and resumed stroking the tormented turtle’s shell. The younger didn’t mind that his shoulder was now very wet, he did worry, however, that Leo would need to drink something soon, so he wouldn’t get dehydrated. Mike decided he'd make him some tea once they were done talking.
“What if it happens someday?” Leo sniffled. His voice sounded so small and vulnerable. It was times like this that Mikey remembered how young Leo was. His oldest brother had an unrivaled maturity compared to the rest of them and such an authoritative presence, so it was easy to forget sometimes that he was only 23.
Mikey clucked his tongue and considered how to proceed with his pep talk. He couldn’t promise Leo something that was out of his control. It was always dangerous for them when they ventured topside, be it for a mission, patrolling, a training run or even just to visit April and Casey. Mikey weighed his words and finally said, “You just have to do your best, Leo. That’s all anyone can expect of you. We all trust your judgment – yes, even Raph does, even if he fights you about it sometimes. Nobody blames you when things go wrong. You can’t control everything, dude. We just have to look out for each other. You watch my shell, and I watch yours. That’s what a family does for each other.”
“I’d never forgive myself if something happened to any of you guys, though.”
“And I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you,” Mikey stated firmly. “We can go round and round about who would feel guilty about what, but there’s no point worrying about things that can’t be changed or haven’t happened yet. We just need to watch out for each other when we go topside. Maybe some of your plans don’t go the way you wanted but we all know you excogitate every aspect of your strategy to prepare for whatever scenario. And sometimes it might still not work, Leo, but that’s because there are too many variables at play for you to be able to predict everything, dude. We don’t expect you to know everything! That would be impossible. You just need to try your best and follow your gut when it comes time to make those difficult calls.”
Leo looked up again then nodded miserably.
“You’re a great leader, Leo. Raph and Donnie would agree.”
More tears trickled down his beak, and he sniffed, “Thanks, Mikey. That means a lot.”
“Anytime, dude.”
Leo suddenly gave a short, watery laugh and Mikey frowned. “What’s so funny? That was a good pep talk I just gave!”
“Yes, yes it was. I just thought it was funny you used the word excogitate. That’s a pretty big word, Mikey.”
Mikey’s mouth dropped open, and he playfully swatted the other’s shoulder, “Dude! Don’t be teasing the turtle who’s trying to cheer you up! And for the record, I do listen to Donnie sometimes. Unless he’s talking about something boring as shell, then I just tune that guy out.”
The ninja leader chuckled weakly, but his amusement was fleeting. Slowly, he pulled out of their embrace and took several deep breaths to calm himself. It was obvious Leo was still upset about his nightmare because he was still trembling slightly as he wiped his eyes and face. Mikey patiently waited for him to collect himself, but then the older turtle announced, “I’m going to go to the dojo for a bit.”
Mikey’s eyes widened, and he pushed Leo back into a sedentary position when he tried to stand up. “No way, dude. You’re going back to bed. It’s like 2:30 right now! Training isn’t for another 5 hours!”
“I would feel better after practicing a few ka–”
“Leonardo,” Mikey interrupted sternly.
Hazel eyes blinked in surprise at the use of his full name and the serious tone the youngest used to get his attention. Leo fell silent and waited for the sea green turtle to continue.
“ You are going to stay here. I’m going to go to the kitchen and make you a cup of chamomile tea, and then you’re going to sleep. Understood?”
The leaf green turtle nodded uncertainly as Mikey stood up and squeezed his shoulder.
“I love you, Leo. Everything’s alright now. It was just a shitty dream. Try to get some rest after you drink the tea, okay? It should help.”
“I love you too, Otōto. Thanks.”
The youngest turtle slipped out of the bedroom and headed for the kitchen. As he waited for the water to boil and the tea to steep, Mikey took inventory of the refrigerator and rummaged through the cabinets so he could lay out the dry ingredients and cooking utensils he’d need in the morning to make Leo’s favorite breakfast. Mikey enjoyed making his brothers' and mate's favorite meals after they had a nightmare to help cheer them up some in the morning. When the tea was done, Mikey remembered the reason for his nightly excursion and grabbed a glass of water for himself.
Once his glass was set in the sink, Mikey started for the hallway with a steaming cup of tea carefully balanced on a saucer. Halfway to Leo and Donnie’s room, he changed course and journeyed to the lab. Just as he’d thought, the resident genius was asleep with his face stuck to the computer keyboard. His hunched body was illuminated eerily by the white light shining from the monitor. Mikey stifled a chuckle when Don mumbled something about an autoclave and reached forward to tap his older brother on the shoulder. Immediately, Donnie jumped in alarm, squawked in surprise, and almost fell out of his swivel chair. Mikey didn’t try to stop his laughter that time.
“Mikey? What’s going on?” His groggy voice was laced with confusion and a hint of annoyance.
“You fell asleep in your lab again,” Mikey helpfully explained.
Donnie frowned in understanding and turned his attention to the lit monitor screen. He groaned when he realized he’d have to delete several pages of random letter configurations thanks to the pressure of his cheek on the keys. When the olive turtle’s attention returned to the youngest ninja, Mikey handed him Leo’s teacup.
“Leo had a bad nightmare, and he's still pretty shook up. Take this to him. It’s chamomile. He wants to go to the dojo to train but don’t let him do that. I told him to go back to sleep, but I think he’ll sleep better with you in bed with him.”
Don’s eyes flashed with worry as he nodded while quickly standing. His eye ridges were pulled down in obvious distress for his older mate. They were all aware of how terrible Leo’s nightmares could be and how insecure he felt afterward. Mikey could see the guilt written clearly on the scientist’s face. Donnie should have been with him when he woke up, so Mike was grateful he’d trusted his gut and checked on Leo when something felt off about their room. Don quickly turned off the bright monitor and followed the sea green turtle back down the hallway that led to their bedrooms.
“Goodnight, Don,” Mikey clapped his brother on the top of his carapace and quietly opened his and Raph’s door.
The bed dipped slightly under his weight when he sat and almost instantly Raph’s muscular arms were wrapping around him again, pulling him down and entwining their legs as the burly turtle spooned up behind him. Mikey smiled widely into the darkness and pressed back into his mate’s loving embrace. Mike loved this closeness. He had a new found appreciation for Raph's nightly snuggles, especially after realizing Leo and Donnie didn't have this every night.
“You lied,” Raph mumbled next to his tympanum.
Mikey frowned. “About what?”
“Said ya’d be right back,” The sleepy sai wielder explained through a yawn.
“Oh. Leo had a nightmare,” Mikey whispered back. “Donnie was sleeping in the lab, so I let him talk to me about it and we hugged it out. Then I made him tea and sent Don in to comfort him some more.”
Raph hummed in understanding then asked, “He okay?”
“He will be.”
“Well, I’m glad yer back.”
“Did you miss me?” Mikey mocked quietly and tried to stifle a giggle.
Raph pressed a kiss to the back of Mikey’s head and whispered, “Always.”
The younger turtle hummed happily and shut his eyes. He was almost asleep when he heard his mate ask, “Guess this means we’re having salmon onigiri and tamagoyaki for breakfast?”