Work Text:
Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time
Every minute from this minute now
We can do what we like anywhere
I want so much to open your eyes
'Cause I need you to look into mine
“I’m in the van! Pretty sure I broke a couple ribs, but this van is about to get pancaked.”
“Okay, Eddie, we’re coming to you.” Buck squeezes his eyes shut, breathes through the pain lancing through his whole body. He feels like he’s been hit by a truck, which… from what he can tell, that’s only the first part of what happened to him.
He remembers the bridge crumbling, the ambulance hitting him, glancing off his shoulder as he ran, stumbling, losing his grip and falling, falling until he landed on the windshield.
It fucking hurts, but he doesn’t think he’s got any serious injuries. With Hen unconscious in the driver’s seat below him, Chimney and Eddie injured and trapped, and Bobby unresponsive, it’s a good thing Buck’s able to move, because he’s pretty sure he’s in charge.
He climbs into the cab first and wakes Hen up, but from the way she slurs her words, her confusion as she dabs at his face with a tissue, he’s fairly certain she’s got a severe concussion. Still, she’s awake and responsive, insisting she’s fine, that she can help. Buck hands leadership over to her when Athena calls for the captain. Maybe it’s selfish, but he can’t bring himself to be the one who lets her know Bobby’s in trouble. She’ll take it better, coming from Hen, and he needs to keep a clear head to get everyone out of here safely.
He secures the ambulance on autopilot, gets the harness and pack to Hen, then goes for the van. He has to get to Eddie. The way he spoke over the radio, the strain in his voice, the casual mention of broken ribs have been circling in Buck’s brain ever since he first checked in, and Buck knows he won’t be of any use to anyone else until he knows Eddie is safe.
Hen calls for help and Ravi responds, leaving Buck outside the van with no saw to cut through the doors.
“Eddie!” He pounds on the door. He can hear Eddie’s voice, an indistinct rumble. “Eddie, I’m gonna get you out, okay?” He pulls on the door, and the van creaks. He hears Eddie shout from inside.
Too risky. He needs the saw , he needs something .
Buck knows Eddie was probably underestimating his injuries. The broken ribs are the most obvious problem, sure, but they’ve all seen enough crushing incidents to know there’s usually something else lurking, ready to make itself known as soon as the weight is lifted.
Buck thinks about Lev. The happiness convention, the smile which had crossed his face right before he died.
Buck thinks about Lev a lot, actually. About happiness.
He needs to get Eddie out.
More muffled sounds from inside, then Buck’s radio crackles.
“ Buck—”
--
Eddie can hear Buck hammering on the outside of the van. He tries to call out, but Buck doesn’t seem to hear him. Eddie’s voice is sore, his breathing constricted. Everything hurts. His ribcage is on fire, his legs are aching — he’s grateful for that, at least. He can feel his legs, and when he wiggles his toes, he hears his boot clank against something. Likely no spinal injuries, then, but he can’t rule out internal bleeding.
He’s so tired. He’s so sore, and Buck’s outside, with no way into him. Eddie doesn’t know where the saw is, if something had happened to their gear, or if Buck simply wasn’t able to find a way to get to it.
At least Buck’s okay. He’s outside, safe, doing his job. Buck’s okay, which means no matter what happens inside this van, if the crushing weight of the fridge takes him before Buck can get to him, if the van pancakes or flips or any number of likely disasters occur, if Eddie dies in here, alone, and in pain, then…
He thinks of Mallory, of Jo. How they’d called out for each other.
His eyes shut briefly as Mallory’s words echo in his head. “She’s not my daughter. Jo’s mother was my best friend… she saved me so many times.” And then another memory, older, but no less clear. Holding Christopher in his arms, hearing a stranger ask whether he was Buck. “He was looking for Buck.”
It’ll be okay.
Buck will…
Eddie needs to talk to him. Before he goes, he needs to make sure. Because things have been… different, with Buck, since the lightning. Of course Buck’s changed, anyone would be, with what happened to him. Eddie needs to be sure this hasn’t changed though. That no matter whether Buck hugs Eddie anymore, no matter who he’s dating or what comes between them, that Buck will be there to fight for Chris.
Eddie calls out, but Buck either can’t hear him, or Eddie can’t hear his reply.
This is important, though. It could well be Eddie’s last chance, and he can’t let go without being sure.
He reaches for his radio. “ Buck—”
--
Eddie sounds even worse than he had the last time. Buck looks up and sees Ravi scrambling back up to the ladder truck.
“Eddie! Eddie, just hold tight. I'm coming to get you!” Buck shouts into his radio, desperation creeping in. He doesn’t like that tone in Eddie’s voice, doesn’t like the defeat, the lack of fight.
“Buck, you… you’re gonna take care of Chris, right?” Eddie’s voice is quiet, like he’s asking Buck in a hospital room, arm in a sling, and not in the middle of a collapsed bridge, over the open radio line for everybody to hear.
Buck falters, just for a moment. What is Eddie talking about? Why is he asking about Chris while Buck is trying to save him?
“Chris? I— what? Eddie, just—”
The van creaks and steel groans. Eddie howls in pain, and Buck can hear it echoed both through the radio and muffled from the interior of the van. Eddie grunts, and speaks again, and it sounds as if every word is causing him physical pain. “I know… I know he’ll be safe with you. Chris’ll be— I love him s—so much. Tell—“
Eddie’s voice trails off and Buck yells for Ravi to hurry. He’s panicking, and he knows it’s clear to everyone who can witness it but he can’t switch it off.
Ravi, to his credit, is already lowering the saw down to him.
“EDDIE! Don’t you dare—” Buck watches the saw descend, slowly, much too slowly. “ No . We’re not doing this right now. I’m getting you home ! Tell him yourself!”
And Buck knows. He knows that if Eddie doesn’t make it out of this, that it’ll be down to him to go pick Chris up from school. That he’ll have to break the news that he wasn’t able to save his dad, that he’ll have to keep it together for Chris’s sake. He knows he’ll step up, he’ll honor Eddie’s wishes, become the absolute best guardian he can possibly be and fight for that kid just as hard as he always has.
But he doesn’t want that. He wants to be there for Chris, but he wants Eddie there too, damn it. He wants to cook dinner for both of them, teach Chris how to make lasagne just like Bobby taught him, while Eddie curates the cooking playlist for them. He wants to work side by side with Eddie, wants to be there for him after he has a nightmare, to bring him tea after a difficult therapy session, to talk to him about the strange intersection of pride and sadness they both feel every time Chris shows he’s growing up, growing away from them. He wants late nights watching movies on the couch, he wants falling asleep there, waking up to find Eddie has retreated to the kitchen to give him space, he wants to curl up next to Eddie.
“Eddie, when I get you outta there I’m gonna—” Finally, the saw reaches him, and Buck scrambles at the bag, fingers fumbling as he tries to start it.
He just about makes out Eddie’s last few words into the radio before the saw blares to life.
“You—you can have my couch.”
And Buck doesn’t have time to dwell on that, on what Eddie could possibly mean by those words, because he has a job to do. He cuts through the door, and finally, finally , he can get in there. He sees Eddie under the debris, one hand outstretched. He blinks.
For a split second, he’s not harnessed on the side of a broken bridge.
For a second, he’s lying on the pavement, under a ladder truck, blood all over his shirt and face, and Eddie is laying there in the street facing him, arm outstretched to reach for him as he bleeds out from his gunshot.
Buck reaches for Eddie’s hand, just as he had that day. Looking back, he’ll wonder at how lucky they got, how Eddie wasn’t more seriously wounded, how this didn’t cause more damage than it did, but right now all he can think of is getting Eddie out.
It takes every ounce of strength he can muster, but he does it, just like he did the last time. He hauls Eddie out of the wreckage of the van and together, they stagger to safety.
They’re out just in time, as it turns out. Maybe it was the movement of pulling Eddie out, or maybe it was always going to happen, but one moment Hen is calling out for someone to help Chimney and the next, the van flips out from its position, the ambulance trembles, straining against the line Buck used to secure it. The rear doors fly open.
Chimney falls, just managing to hold onto the ambulance. Buck has to leave Eddie, has to trust he’s going to be okay now, and he runs to help Chim.
He acts on instinct, lips brushing Eddie’s brow in a fleeting kiss before he’s up again, running towards the ambulance.
--
Eddie is barely conscious. He hears the saw, sees the light streaming in from outside, Buck’s face appearing to pull him to safety the way Eddie hadn’t been able to do for him at the top of that lightning-struck ladder.
He’s alive, or at least the degree of pain seems to suggest so.
He stumbles, letting Buck half-lead, half-carry him to safety. He hears something crash, hears Hen’s anguished screaming.
“Chimney!”
Buck reels around, and his arm leaves Eddie’s back. Eddie’s not sure how much of it is real, if the lips pressing against his face are really Buck’s, or if he’s so out of it that it’s just someone checking his temperature.
Buck runs away from him, runs back towards danger, runs to save someone.
And then — Another arm around his back, another hand on his face. Has any time passed? What happened?
“Buck?” Eddie asks. A soft voice hums nearby. Not Buck. He recognises it, though, opens his eyes to make out their features. “‘Thena.”
But if she’s here, with Eddie, then— “Is Cap—”
“Bobby’s fine, we found him. Couple minor injuries, but he’s in good hands. You’ve been hurt, we’ve got to get you to a hospital. Can you walk to the ambulance or do we need to get you a gurney?”
“Buck—”
“Is in the ambulance with Bobby. Hen’s got Chimney, which means you’re coming with me. You’ll see them all at the hospital, okay?”
Eddie nods, then grunts at the pain that shoots through him. He refuses the gurney, instead leaning against Athena to stumble his way towards the ambulance.
The paramedic offers him some sort of painkiller, but Eddie shakes his head, turning away. “I’m fine,” he insists, even as he feels the last vein of consciousness threaten to leave his body. Athena snaps her fingers.
“C’mon, Eddie, stay with me. Talk to me. Tell me something.”
“What d’you wanna know?” Eddie asks, through gritted teeth.
“Couldn't help but overhear you on the radio back there,” Athena prompts. “What was that about a couch?”
Eddie thinks about Buck. About how it had felt watching him struggle after the lightning strike, how quickly and easily he’d fallen asleep on Eddie’s couch, how he’d come to Eddie when he was tired of being around people. He thought of Christopher, falling asleep in the exact same way, of Buck and Chris together, playing video games on the couch.
He tells Athena everything. All of it, even the parts he hasn’t quite been able to admit to himself yet.
He feels lighter.
--
Maddie hugs Buck when she arrives at the hospital, and he wraps his arms around her in return.
“God, Buck, I was so worried.”
“Chimney’s okay,” he tells her, as much to reassure himself as her. “They’re all okay.”
“Are you?” she asks.
“Yeah.” Buck sniffs, parts from the hug and holds his arms out to demonstrate. “Just some scratches, plenty of bruising but nothing serious. I got lucky. Again.”
“Buck. Are you okay?” Maddie repeats. Buck squeezes his eyes shut, sees Eddie trapped in that van, sees the blood pouring from Chimey’s abdomen, Hen’s dizziness, Bobby trapped.
He clears his throat. “I think I just… I think I just need to rest, for a while.”
“Okay. You shouldn’t drive, though. I need to stay with Chim, can you—”
“I’ll call Kameron. She’s been crashing at my place.” Buck ignores Maddie’s strange expression as he calls and asks Kameron for a ride home. It’s the least she can do, really, considering how she’s been stealing his bed, making him sleep on his— on the couch.
He hangs up, after promising they can stop at McDonald’s on the way home. Maddie’s still watching him.
“I’m working on it, trust me.” They fall silent for a moment, and then Buck reaches for her hand, stroking a finger across the ring. “I never congratulated you, did I? Since you’re officially wearing this on purpose now.”
Maddie laughs and takes her hand away, nudging Buck. He laughs with her, feels a small portion of the weight lift from his shoulders.
A doctor calls Maddie’s name. She hugs Buck again and goes to the doctor.
Buck’s only home a couple of hours when he gets the call that Eddie’s been released. He’s being put on bed rest for at least a few weeks while his ribs heal, but he’s going to be okay. Carla’s with him and Chris now.
Buck wants to go to him, but he wonders if maybe Eddie would prefer to rest. Still, Carla probably has other places to be, and maybe having Buck there to watch Chris will cut out Eddie’s excuses for staying up. He’s just about made up his mind to go when he hears Kameron swear. She bends almost double, gasping in pain.
Buck rushes to her, falling back on his training, asking all the questions he needs to ask until he’s confident.
She’s in labor. And it’s progressing fast.
Buck calls 9-1-1, just to be safe, and requests paramedics. He has delivered babies before, and Kameron’s pregnancy has been healthy so far, but with the baby coming prematurely — it can’t hurt to take the precaution.
The doorbell rings while he’s gathering supplies, and he answers it with the phone tucked between his shoulder and ear.
It’s Maddie, and next to her—
“Natalia?”
The two of them stand awkwardly side-by-side. Buck doesn’t have time to fully process it, because Kameron cries out from the couch. He hands the phone to Maddie. “She’s in labor, contractions coming pretty close together. Paramedics should be on the way.”
Maddie knows what to do, picking up where Buck left off and running to Kameron’s side. Natalia just stares.
“What are you doing here?” Buck asks.
“I came to apologize. I shouldn’t have run. I—”
“I could use another set of hands here!” Maddie calls.
Buck looks over his shoulder into the room, then back at Natalia.
“Look, I — now’s not a great time, okay?”
Natalia’s face falls, and Buck knows she’ll come back later, if he asks her to.
He knows he doesn’t want her to. As she turns to go, Buck calls after her.
“I… Look, Natalia. Thank you, for coming by. I think you’re great, but I just—” Kameron screams from the couch, and Natalia flinches.
“I get it. See you around, Buck.”
“Right. I’ll see you.”
Natalia leaves, and Buck rushes back to Maddie and Kameron.
“What brought you here, anyway?” Buck asks Maddie as they work.
“I was on my way to pick up Jee, Mrs. Lee was watching her. Just stopped by to check in on you.”
“Well, I’m glad you did.”
When Buck holds the baby in his arms for the first time, he’s overwhelmed with emotion. With pride, with affection, but none of it compares to the joy in Kameron’s face when he hands him over.
Later, back at the hospital, Buck stands there in his second bloodied shirt of the day, and Connor thanks him for what he’d done before joining his wife and his son in the room.
Maddie returns with two coffees and hands one to Buck. She’s already called the Lees to tell them she’ll be late, and they said they were happy to keep her for the night.
“You know, in all my years as a nurse, that was actually my first time delivering a baby since I was in training,” she breaks the silence.
“Oh! Well.” Buck fumbles his words a little. “Glad I could help you check that off your list.” He goes quiet, watching the little family he’d helped build through the open door.
“How are you holding up?” Maddie asks him again.
“Huh?” He turns back to look at her.
“I saw… I saw the way you were looking at the baby, earlier. When you held him.”
Buck stammers, struggling to find words. He looks down at his coffee and shrugs. “Connor was freaking out the other day,” he starts, finally. “About all of this. About how he wasn’t sure he could be a dad. Even tried to pull the ‘technically he’s yours’ card on me when I told him to pick up his wife and their kid from my house.” He huffs a laugh, shaking his head. It was only this morning, but it feels like a lifetime ago.
She tilts her head, concerned. “You’re not—“
“What? No. No!” Buck holds his hands up. “Absolutely not. That’s their family.”
“And you did what you did—“ Maddie trails off, waiting for Buck to supply the remainder of that sentence.
“Because I could.” He smiles. Sips his coffee. Glances at Maddie. He makes a face, realizing something. “Oh god, the living room’s gonna be a mess.”
Maddie bursts out laughing. Her eyes are twinkling. “Well. I distinctly remember someone offering you his couch.”
Buck’s head whips up to look at her. His jaw falls slack.
“I’m gonna go upstairs and check on Howie,” she says gently, cupping his cheek. “You should go home and check on your family.”
Buck swallows. His family.
He looks back at Connor, holding little baby Liam in his arms. His heart swells once again.
Buck takes a breath. He nods. Then he drains his coffee, turns on his heel, and runs.
He shows up at Eddie’s door in the uber that had taken what felt like an hour to arrive at the hospital. He knocks, expecting Carla, or even Chris to answer, but there’s Eddie. He’s wearing sweatpants and a shirt that’s too large on him. Eddie goes wide eyed with panic at the sight of him, as if he wasn’t just discharged from hospital with broken and bruised ribs, as if it’s not a fucking miracle he’s standing at all right now.
Buck doesn’t even have a chance to berate him for being out of bed before Eddie reaches for his shoulders; a hand comes up to cup his cheek, searching for injury.
Buck suddenly remembers the blood and viscera smeared across his shirt, and understands Eddie’s worry.
“Eds. It’s not my— I’m fine. I’m fine . Kameron gave birth and I—“ Buck looks at him in wonder.
“Jesus Christ,” Eddie mumbles. He starts murmuring, half in Spanish, half English. Buck only picks up about every other word of the Spanish, but he gathers it’s something along the lines of “change a fucking shirt so you don’t give a guy a heart attack, Buckley.”
Eddie lets him in and wanders down the hall to the kitchen.
Carla is at the stove, and she shares an exasperated look with Buck, effectively telling him she’s already tried to get Eddie to rest. “Guess I’m making an extra grilled cheese,” she says.
“Oh, nice ,” Buck grins, heading into the living room.
Chris perks up at the sight of him and calls his name. Buck leans down to kiss his hair, coming around to sit— “You better be walking to the bedroom to grab a shirt to change into! I don’t want blood on the couch!” Eddie shouts from the kitchen.
Buck rolls his eyes and makes that face he always makes when Eddie says something absolutely correct. Chris laughs, the way he always does when he’s not the one in trouble.
Buck wanders into the bedroom, a smile on his face. He walks over to the dresser and pulls open the drawer he knows has the shirts Eddie doesn’t mind him stretching out a little by wearing.
He grabs a Henley and changes into it, then he glances up at the wall. If he squints a little, he can see the faint lines where they had patched up the holes all those years ago. But over those scars, the wall is now covered in framed photographs.
Chris and Eddie. The 118 at Hen’s vow renewal. Several from May’s graduation party. Buck’s eyes settle on one from there, of himself and Chris all goofy in the Photo Booth. And Eddie is in the photo too, but instead of looking at the camera, Eddie is looking at them , wearing an expression which can only be described as adoring. Buck has seen the photo before, but he’d assumed the look was only directed at Christopher.
He’s not so sure anymore.
Right next to it, is Buck’s stupid drawing of a heart. Eddie has it pinned up in his bedroom wall between photos of the three of them.
Family photos.
He hears Carla calling out a goodbye, and he shouts the same back to her before bringing his shirt right out to the bathroom and getting it soaking in the tub.
When he wanders back to the living room, he sits on Chris’s right, settling into the couch.
It’s so much more comfortable than the one he has at home, and it’s a good thing, because that one is surely beyond saving after tonight.
He sighs, content. Maybe even a little relieved.
--
Eddie comes out of the kitchen, plates in hand. His ribs still ache, but he hardly even notices it, not when faced with this.
He stops. Gazes at the sight before him. Chris is playing a game and Buck has his arm around the back of the couch, around Chris.
A second passes. It feels a little like deja vu again.
Buck looks over at him, a soft smile playing over his lips, wearing Eddie’s shirt. Buck stands and takes the plates from Eddie, sets them down on the coffee table.
Eddie is still, frozen in place.
“Are you gonna stand there all day, or—“ Buck teases, and Eddie’s cheeks flush.
He rolls his eyes, then steps over both of their pairs of legs to sit on Chris’s left. In his spot. Buck reaches out and supports him as he gets settled.
“So, to what do we owe the pleasure of this impromptu visit, anyhow?” Eddie takes a bite, chews. He watches Buck and Chris, both bent over their plates now, stuffing their mouths with the sandwiches.
Buck glances over and their eyes meet over Chris’s head.
Buck blinks, and smiles that half smile Eddie has seen on his face a handful of times, the one he’s always wanted to see directed at himself. He looks almost bashful as he explains.
“At the hospital, Maddie said I should go home,” he says. He glances down at Chris. Then back at Eddie. “So I did.”
Eddie swallows.
Home. The three of them, together.
Eddie likes the sound of that.